<Silent> I see that many designers are using Macs to draw. I
              was wondering what's wring with Windows and Linux, and that's
              why I asked.
              <G-Money> Silent
              <G-Money> mac's are for creative people
              <G-Money> if we use non-macs, we lose our creativity
              <G-Money> its part of owning a mac
              <Silent> In what sense?
              <G-Money> are a you a man of god Silent?
              <G-Money> in the biblical tale with samson and delilah
              <G-Money> samson loses his power when delilah, who was a whore
              btw, cut his hair
              <G-Money> its somewhat like a mac

Fatthew Mupples: i imagine a large part of romanian and
              chinese cultures revolves around typing ssh root@random.ip

<er0s> if i was a porn director, i'd randomly cut to eye
              contact with the male actor
              <er0s> to freak out whoever is watching
              <er0s> maybe have him smile slightly too

<Bushman> heh, those voice commands in mobile phones...
              <Bushman> say "text *contact_name* message *message_text*"
              <Bushman> or "email *contact_name* subject *message_subject*
              message *message_text*"
              <Bushman> what if... just what if... the guy's name is
              Mr.Message or Mr.Subject?
              <Bushman> :D
              <Bushman> facebook.com/john.message.9
              <Bushman> facebook.com/john.subject

<@Steempy> Any lettuce that isn't iceberg needs to fuck off
              back to Russia
              <@Steempy> Goddamn communist hipster lettuce

<[k]> you got a vivid imagination, like me.
              <[k]> i can respect that
              <HardDisk> you have no idea the stuff I've done
              <HardDisk> [k], have you ever been so stoned that if you were
              jerking off while eating a kitkat then all of a sudden you
              feel a salty taste in your mouth and because your so high at
              this point you cant tell whether the kitkat chocolate bar was
              expired or if that if you creamed into your mouth without
              noticing?

<Sheep> Cat owners - Do you ever find that you're stroking
              your cat and suddenly everything feels like a tasty chicken
              dinner?

<Mikael_Kreoss> reading the "stupid shit you believed as a
              kid" thread
              <Mikael_Kreoss> it owns
              <Mikael_Kreoss> reminded me of the time as a kid I saw a pic
              of the pope's bubble car thing
              <Mikael_Kreoss> and thought it was meant to keep him in
              <Mikael_Kreoss> like he was a monster or w/e
              <Vanadium> hahaha
              <Mikael_Kreoss> on display
              <&Attilla> ahahahah
              <Mikael_Kreoss> "WE CAUGHT THE POPE" and then celebration time
              <Drakkar> hahaha

<Maastonakki> we are sending hamburgers to space now
              <Maastonakki> not sure if I want to live on this planet
              anymore
              <@r4w> especially if all the burgers are in space!

< hyntty> Erik: what is cat in dutch?
              <+Erik> kat
              < PeriSoft_> fucking crazy language
              < hyntty> kankerkat ;|7<
              <+Erik> With the A pronounced as the A in 'what'.
              < PeriSoft_> it's spelled 'kat', but it's probably pronounced
              'voorslphtn'

<No_One> Damn my land mine collection is gone.
              <No_One> Also so is my shed
              <No_One> That's gonna be fun in the morning
              15 minutes later.
              <No_One> Fuck afk police pulled in
              <Dwarf> k
              <Dwarf> have fun
              10 minutes later.
              <No_One> Shiit
              <No_One> Someone broke into my shed
              <No_One> They won't do that again
              3 hours later.
              <No_One> Can I be charged with criminal negligence even if the
              said deceased person used bolt cutters to access something
              that killed them?
              <noregister> I doubt it
              <No_One> Good

plas: Friendly cats will head-but or head rub and will extend
              this into a full body rub. Cats will also head-butt and
              body-rub their humans. The nose-bump is another friendly
              greeting.
              lemonlimeskull: Even friendlier cats will offer a paw job.

lemonlimeskull: I keep getting spam e-mail from a company
              trying to convince me I owe them for search engine listing
              services. They send an actual invoice for me to print and fax
              to them.
              lemonlimeskull: It's their own fault, really, that I faxed
              them a photo-to-ASCII image of a hand giving the middle
              finger.
              killjay: lol bet they were PISSED
              lemonlimeskull: They will be if they lay out all 54 pages in
              the correct sequence.

<%wgluv2hunt> I was in a bar Saturday night, and had a few
              drinks.
              <%wgluv2hunt> I noticed two large women by the bar. They both
              had strong accents so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from
              Ireland?"
              <%wgluv2hunt> One of them screamed, "It's Wales you idiot!"
              <%wgluv2hunt> So, I immediately apologized and said, "Sorry,
              are you two whales from Ireland?"
              <%wgluv2hunt> That's all I remember.

(~roopurt) there is an article on the washington post "why is
              the arab world so easily offended"
              (~roopurt) i think it might offend the arab world
              (~roopurt) but really
              (~roopurt) one person puts up a youtube video and they riot
              and kill
              (~roopurt) the rest of world didnt come after canada after
              justin biebers last video

Felix the Cat: Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a
              man; that which cometh out of the mouth defileth a man. 
              (Matthew 15:11)
              Felix the Cat: huzzah i can continue to suck cocks
              mr peabody: you read the bible a lot
              mr peabody: for being a heathen who is going to hell
              Felix the Cat: all i know is apparently the bible says
              swallow, don't spit
              Felix the Cat: A+ advice imo

*** valinhorn has joined #oregoons
              <coyo7e> Immediately, she realizes that Christian Grey is not
              some ancient forty-year old dude, practically crumbling to
              dust atop his icy blonde empire, but a very hot young man:
              <coyo7e> So young - and attractive, very attractive. He's
              tall, dressed in a fine gray suit, white shirt, and black tie
              with unruly dark copper colored hair and intense, bright gray
              eyes that regard me shrewdly.
              <coyo7e> That... is one hell of a tie. I'm going to have to
              ask someone, please, look into the kindness and the goodness
              of your soul and photoshop me a picture of a black tie with
              Robert Pattinson's hair and eyes stuck on it, gazing at me
              shrewdly.
              <valinhorn> um
              <valinhorn> wow
              *** valinhorn left #oregoons []

<rad_ed> NOOOOOO i didn't want to do that no no no no
              <Sharkd> what?
              <rad_ed> i added honey boo boo to my google news section
              <rad_ed> no no no no how do i undo

<@Faer|afk> what is good dubstep
              <Rashy> dialup modem

<swarthy15> I'm sweating like Gary Glitter in Mothercare

< CoJaBo> Update: The object seen landing near Gale Crater on
              MSD 49,269 at around 05:50:16 AMT local time has been
              conclusively identified by the Martian Space Agency to be a
              weather balloon.  Due to possible radioactive contamination,
              Mars citizens are forbidden to approach Gale Crater until
              further notice.

<zalzane> I wonder how long it will end up taking for all this
              pony shit to blow over
              <Mutagene> too long
              <pkmnBlue> 2 years
              <zalzane> sailor moon took like 10 years
              <zalzane> and every once in awhile I still hear fags harp
              about sailor moon
              <pkmnBlue> DUDE
              <pkmnBlue> SAILOR MOON IS AWESOME
              <Mutagene> sailor moon was good though :(
              <pkmnBlue> Kuraitou: SAILOR MOON
              <zalzane> oh my fucking god

<gmaxwell> 1960: "I have a great idea! lets have every person
              in the country carry a radio tracking beacon!" "That'll never
              fly!"  2012: "I can has TWO iphones??"

* dagdamor psychs himself up to play "which cable goes where"
              and "why is this cable routed like this?" ahead of a switch
              stack replacement
              <dagdamor> deja vu etc
              <evil_steve> you can generally tell if it's important.
              <evil_steve> either a) all the phone start ringing at once, or
              b) all the phones go silent at once

<dr2chase> As I said to someone else, back when the Lite-Brite
              Mooninites panicked the Boston Police, the first rule of
              making a bomb, is to not make it look like a bomb.
              <dr2chase> That's why IEDs get buried, stuffed into dead dogs,
              what have you. Around here, if you wanted to hide a bomb in
              plain sight, you'd stick it in a crumpled Dunkin Donuts bag.
              <anony> Isn't a Dunkin Donuts bag the first place a cop would
              look?

<LocalDescriptorTable> Hey Russia I just met you and this is
              crazy but our space agency is broke launch our shit maybe?

<m0bi_work> what is the "care for the comfort of a dying
              person" called
              <hydro-> euthanasia
              <Chaosbreaker> Microsoft terminal service

<Goune> the other day i saw the headline : 'woman beats off
              rapist' and i thought.....
              <Goune> that seems like a reasonable compromise

*** bluntonio is now known as bluntplane
              <bluntplane> i have the worst goddamn neighbor on this plane
              <bluntplane> dude keeps scratching his fungus-infected foot
              and shit
              <bluntplane> and his balls
              <bluntplane> and then touches his face
              <bluntplane> has his legs crossed so his shoeless-foot is
              dangerously close to my leg (wearing shorts)
              <bluntplane> i'm about to tell him if his foot touches me
              again we're going to have a problem
              <bluntplane> in civil disobedience protest i am attempting to
              fart a lot
              <bluntplane> he is so fucking nasty
              <bluntplane> i want to stab him in the throat
              <bluntplane> a lot
              <bluntplane> as in, i both want a lot to stab him in the
              throat
              <bluntplane> and i would like to stab him in the throat a lot
              <bluntplane> i would also be okay if he died of aids
              <bluntplane> or anything else other than a plane crash
              <bluntplane> but most especially by a stab to the throat
              <bluntplane> stab(s)
              <bluntplane> oh and he is now picking his nose
              <bluntplane> oh fuck me
              <bluntplane> here is the crown jewel
              <bluntplane> dude just went into the bathroom in his socks
              <bluntplane> THIS NASTY MOTHERFUCKER
              <bluntplane> I HOPE YOU DIE
              <bluntplane> i would piss in this guy's face if i could
              <bluntplane> i would piss in his wife
              <bluntplane> YEA KEEP PICKING THAT FUCKER AND WIPING ON YOUR
              PANTS
              <bluntplane> MAYBE YOU WILL FIND SOME SHAME UP IN THERE
              <bluntplane> if i murder this fuck, will you guys kick in for
              bail ?
              <bluntplane> also, is "he needed killing" a valid defense ?
              <bluntplane> and finally, if I murder him on the plane while
              in the air, what state has jurisdiction ?
              *** Signoff: bluntplane (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
              <spook> Federal
              <nordberg> so.. is bluntonio in jail?
              <nordberg> cause...  I'll totally chip for bail

<ram> I got into an interesting discussion with my roommate
              yesterday about Quantum Romneyism
              <ram> Romney holds a superposition of all political opinions
              until you observe him, then they collapse based on the
              audience.

xGrill: SQL is like the chess of the programming world

<mgodzilla> I was a r&d micro electronics engineer tech. in my
              youth.
              * mgodzilla designed this dc to dc power supply they put on a
              satellite
              <Elephark> awesome
              * mgodzilla sent the satellite into orbit and lost contact w/
              it
              <Elephark> at least it was powered
              <mgodzilla> they said it was mostly likely due to a power
              issue.
              <Elephark> ...oh
              <mgodzilla> I was like - what are you lookin' at me for?!?

<i_c-Y> im not just hard. im np hard, baby.

<izi_> I like my servers like I like my women. monochrome and
              text only.

< pthreads> dude, I haven't even had a fucking oven for a
              year                          
              < pthreads> we move in 2 weeks to a place that has an oven
              finally
              <@sakuramboo> but, you live in germany
              <@sakuramboo> after WW2, ovens are hard to find

<mjew1>  new speakers showed up
              <mjew1>  gotta figure out how im gonna wire them up
              <bunni>  you put + in to +, and - in to -
              <mjew1>  i know that
              <bunni>  dont mix them up, otherwise the audio would be
              backwards
              <mjew1>  fuck you
              <bunni>  :D

<@Kropotkin> I hate looting corpses for anything other than an
              upgrade. I usually just loot the gold and small items... just
              feels more realistic to do that than strip someone naked all
              the time. I mean, this is Skyrim, not Baltimore.

<hextasy> so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a
              pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

<Toba> i like my coffee like i like my women: earthy, french,
              and on my desk at work
              <nightshroud> But be careful or you may end up with burning
              pain on your lap area.

<Uprising> I just want to work somewhere that actually counts
              <jamesstanley> try the office for national statistics

<TrailMix> Sorry Santorum, you have to carry your dead
              presidential campaign to full term.

* Andaith has changed topic for #warble to: "Drought in the UK
              means:  It's still raining, but not as much as we'd like."

<benjameno> how do i catch autism
              <benjameno> i've tried speaking esperanto and using free open
              source software but it doesn't seem to be working

< Ergo^> Six Stages of Debugging
              < Ergo^> 1. That can't happen.
              < Ergo^> 2. That doesn't happen on my machine.
              < Ergo^> 3. That shouldn't happen.
              < Ergo^> 4. Why does that happen?
              < Ergo^> 5. Oh, I see.
              < Ergo^> 6. How did that ever work?
              < MatthewWilkes> 7. svn blame
              < miniwark> 8. one day we will write tests

<DevXen> Today I was at the store and saw a Darth Vader action
              figure that said "Choking Hazard." It was great.

<Grimhound> You know. You'd think that the human body, being
              the product of millions of years of evolution, would
              eventually learn to dull pain when it becomes a chronic thing.
              <ryzorg> that seems true
              <@AndrewPH> that would be counter productive

<hq1> i promised myself not to touch java EVER in my life
              again, i'd rather drive a taxi

<@cougem> at 4am this morning i got a call from another
              hospital saying they were sending in a patient with a hole in
              their aorta
              <@cougem> which as emergencies go is about 1 level below 'his
              head has fallen off'

<hafiz> <b>hello</b>
              <hafiz> I NEED ZEND EXPERT!!!!!!!!!!!
              <zomg> <blink>that so</blink>
              <DASPRiD> <marquee>what for?</marquee>
              <zomg> <font size="1337">Please ask your question on the
              channel, not in my PM</font>
              <zomg> I really, really hope his irc client actually displays
              html

Rachel: I'm board.
              Jeff: I'm chalk, we should get together.
              Rachel: BOARD! Like I don't have anything to do, not BORD,
              like a chalkbord. Learn to spellcheck.
              Jeff: Oh god I hope you don't breed.