<Weiki> sex is icky
<Weiki> when you have it all too much.
<Weiki> You'll get to the point where youll actually want a
pizza over sex, at least for me anyways.
<BrianJohnson> I bet people in Ethiopa want pizza over sex
<BrianJohnson> They must have sex an awful lot
<Lanus> Let them suck you off, and solve two problems at once!
<Novasol> That's quite possibly the most disturbing solution
for ending world hunger I've heard yet.

<FrankFlyNess> she still sits next to me in spanish
<FrankFlyNess> we pass notes
<FrankFlyNess> its almost like cybering

<xcham> what I love is how leonardo never manages to stab
anyone.
<grassmunk> so you believe the part about fucking turtles
living on pizza and standing 5 feet tall but the guy with
swords doesnt stab anyone and it ruins the realite for you
<grassmunk> heh
<Kris> lol

* Suzzie just learned the term "donkey punch"
<Suzzie> the question is, why is it listed in the "sports"
category

<dm> I discovered that you'd never get an answer to a problem
from Linux Gurus by asking. You have to troll in order for
someone to help you with a Linux problem.
<dm> For example, I didn't know how to find files by contents
and the man pages were way too confusing. What did I do? I
knew from experience that if I just asked, I'd be told to read
the man pages even though it was too hard for me.
<dm> Instead, I did what works. Trolling. By stating that
Linux sucked because it was so hard to find a file compared to
Windows, I got every self-described Linux Guru around the
world coming to my aid. They gave me examples after examples
of different ways to do it. All this in order to prove to
everyone that Linux was better.
* ion has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<dm> brings a tear to my eye... :') so true..
<dm> So if you're starting out Linux, I advise you to use the
same method as I did to get help. Start the sentence with
"Linux is gay because it can't do XXX like Windows can". You
will have PhDs running to tell you how to solve your problems.
<dm> this person must be a kindred spirit of mine

-[Conroy_Bumpus]- OH FUCK ME
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- I FORGOT TO PICK UP MY 7 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER
FROM SOCCER PRACTICE
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- 9 HOURS AGO
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- HOLY SHIT
-[Conroy_Bumpus]- BYE

<arteh|ZzZz> lolly! @ 70s porn site
<Squid0x> I REALLY hope you mean the 1970s

<mystican> my sister gave me some socks and they say on them
"too much wiggling of your joystick makes your eyes go funny"
<endura> myst u should use those socks as wank socks
<endura> then when they are orange make ur sister wash them
<DooMWiz> orange??

<endura> winme is like wrapping ur penis in pink saran wrap
and dipping it in melted crayons, then in a freezer and
shattering it with a brick

<Bob_Haut> Don't call them Broads
<Bob_Haut> Bitches HATE that!

IronChef Foicite: well, there's a lot of reasons
IronChef Foicite: i mean, roses only last like a couple weeks
IronChef Foicite: and that's if you leave them in water
IronChef Foicite: and they really only exist to be pretty
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying
IronChef Foicite: "my love for you is transitory and based
solely on your appearance"
IronChef Foicite: but a potato!
IronChef Foicite: potatos last for fucking ever, man
IronChef Foicite: in fact, not only will they not rot, they
actually grow shit even if you just leave them in the sack
IronChef Foicite: that part alone makes it a good symbol
IronChef Foicite: but there's more!
IronChef Foicite: there are so many ways to enjoy a potato!
you can even make a battery with it!
IronChef Foicite: and that's like saying "i have many ways in
which I show my love for you"
IronChef Foicite: and potatos may be ugly, but they're still
awesome
IronChef Foicite: so that's like saying "it doesn't matter at
all what you look like, I'll still love you"

<Mohjo> your puny sacks cannot hold me
<Mohjo> ... that made me sound like an overly large testicle

[+Matt] Problem is, Cube fans are angered because they think
everyone thinks Nintendo make kids game
[+Matt] And Xbox fans are angered because they think that
everyone thinks the Xbox is a brick
[%Crok] nintendo and microsoft should work together to make
lego

<auenf> boss: 'why is my computer taking so fucking long'
<auenf> me: 'its a Pentium 166'
<auenf> boss: 'since when has this computer been a fucking
pentium 166'
<auenf> me: 'since about 1996'

<cvd> fscking Cisco 3.0 material is in Engrish or some shit
<cvd> It's hard to study shit when they can't even write a
complete sentence
<Macolio> super happy 100% network failure occurance!

<pagan> i moved out of necesity
<griffin> neccessity is the mother of invention
<Bard^> griffin who is the father of invention
<griffin> opression
<Bard^> why do you say opression
<griffin> because he fucked neccessity

<EK> Quentin Tarinto on the use of CGI in movies "'You know,
my guys are all real. There's no computer fucking around. I'm
sick to death of all that shit. This is old school with
fucking cameras. If i'd wanted all that computer game
bullshit, I'd have gone home and stuck my dick in my
Nintendo."
<Nikaji> o_O
<Chaosmeika> nintendo has a penis port?
<EK> I wish.

<Picco|0z> {[io_sreep]} Can you explain what RAID is to me?
<halcy0n> isn't it two harddrives where one holds all the 1's
and the other holds all the 0's?

<pork>  GAS THE JEWS
<Kristy> thats horrible
<Kosta> See Kristy, you just misspelled "honorable" again

[idarwin] I just spent like 45 minutes debugging this c++ code
and delete whole chunks of it to track down this problem
[idarwin] and it was all because I forgot a break;
<@Avalanche> i found out why my mouse stopped working
<@Avalanche> turns out, it was my cell phone

Ramladu X: They should make porn legal.
annoying hamster: Wait, it isn't?
Ramladu X: Not the kind I like.

<mjg> DrP, how the hell are you
<DrPoole> I am a slave to the money my friend.
<DrPoole> I am the nine, to, fiver
<mjg> I'm a 7 to sixer
<DrPoole> Yeah.
<DrPoole> I'm lost in office space world though.
<DrPoole> I get home, and have no interest in my home box. 
<mjg> TPS Reports?
<DrPoole> something like that.
<mjg> that reminds me, my coworker still has my copy of Office
Space
<DrPoole> I pretty much sit at the tv, or I go to the bar with
friends at night.
<mjg> go to the bar.  wish i had that time.  you liking the
work?
<DrPoole> Yeah, but...my place is weird.
<DrPoole> it's like....there's so little to actually DO...
<DrPoole> but...there's a lot that needs to get done
<DrPoole> but...only one guy really knows what those items
are.
<DrPoole> so, the only way to get a project
<DrPoole> is to show interest in it, and to fire off ideas to
him, or...in other words...bother him until he gives you
something todotofillthevoidOFTHEMOTHERFUCKINGWORKDAY!!!!

<dreamwraith> I am going to create a Nicotine Golem.  I will
call him son and he will call me father and we will bond.  At
night, I will lick him.
<dreamwraith> I WANT A CIGARETTE.  That is all.

Sorcerer: I mean shit, that one time I got banned, my dog came
on and pissed everybody off on the RPGC boards while I was in
the shower! I swear! Honest!

obsession: santa.. he's pretty lucky.. cuz he knows where all
the naughty girls are at...
obsession: that's why he's so jolly u see?

Guillaume: So you wnna bough me a dictionnary huh ?
Gila-Monster: lol Yep. An english one.
Guillaume: Nha nonsense I completely masterize the english
language.

themack: just played the saxophone for 15 minutes and my lips
are already sore
ScooterX: themack: Try playing it from the small end next
time!

<Algorithms> I just threw a squirrel carcass in a cardboard
box and installed NetBSD on it.

<gilm0re> I wanna make a movie called "I Rock Your Mom" and
make it a story about a child who has to triumph over
constipation and an erectile disfunction.
<TJ32> ahh.. an autobiography

<tritt> strange... i just logged into my box and I'm pretty
sure i used tab completion on my password o_O
<Yot> you and your ultra-secure linux ways

<Ed> alright
<Ed> the world is completely fucked
<Ed> my neighbour has a "No visitors except by prior
arrangement" sign
<Ed> thing is, I just found out that the bastard's a Jehova's
Witness
<Ed> I wonder if a "No thanks, I'm a Protestant" would work
any on my door

[Luke]: I must say my mum is bad when it comes to security.
Norton says her download is a virus, so she disables norton
and runs the exe. FFS!!!

<TossMonkey> well, people who take a test on the internet to
see if they have a personality should already know the answer.

[ Skip ] my mum told me she deleted "that program that you
have obscene conversations on"
[ Skip ] i came on and irc was still here
[ Skip ] yet my winamp is gone :S

<dayve> i was pissing in a toilet tonight at the movies.. in
the cubicle bit
<dayve> then i look at the wall and see some guy has tagged
the letters BBS
<dayve> then i caught myself thinking "fuck.. i'd better hurry
up"
<evlisisdead> you fucking nerd

<fly> i need a life out side of sex
<@UltraBishiRyo-Sensei> funny
<@UltraBishiRyo-Sensei> most people want it the other way
around

<rezza> wow this 2.6 linux kernel is a big improvement on the
2.4 series... i can do all sorts of crap at the same time with
no slowdown...
<mojomonkee> while you're compiling programs and updating
dependencies at blazing speeds
<mojomonkee> i'm actually doing things

(+|STE|) Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency
Room doctor.
(+|STE|) The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car
accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is
she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need
help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her
life."
(+|STE|) Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"
(+|STE|) The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

<Shikamaru> anyhow, i don't consider myself asian. i'm white,
but god screwed up my texturemap.

<xcham> as part of my CS experience, I'm going to debug java
to try and meet geek chicks. :P
<xcham> then I'll e-mail Sun Microsystems and tell them "JAVA
GOT ME LAID"
<jimmiejaz> java and chicks only go together at starbucks.

<Bubbaprog> you know nothing of men :-)
<Calisa> I know that it's not appropriate to masturbate when
you're in the same room as your daughter, thinking it's okay
because you think she's asleep.
<Calisa> I know something!
<Calisa> He stopped every now and then when he heard my sister
shifting.
<asshat> thats good parenting

<Javin> God I need to do laundry.
<Javin> At this point, the underwear I wear are the first ones
I'm able to catch.
<Doh_> catch?
<Doh_> you mean there mOVING?
<Javin> Not as fast as the socks, but yes.
<Doh_> heh

<november7> 100 pts
<`red> in canada we get 200 pts for running over americans.
<november7> yea but over here your points arent worth shit

<@grim^> one time
<@grim^> I had my dick in this girl
<@grim^> and it was nice
<@jonoblows> and then the doctor pulled you all the way out,
right?

<Soybomb> On the way home yesterday, I saw a car with a vanity
plate that read: LINUX OS
<Soybomb> I really wished for a truck with a WINDOWS plate to
ram it...sadly, no.
<Druuna> unfortunately, you'd probably crash before hitting
it...

<timovgod> I was in a rape awarness class once, well... my
picture was.

<Laemtao> Girls are like Wolfenstein 3D.
<Shatai> How so?
<Laemtao> If you get far enough, you have to fight Hitler
himself.

<Queued-W> Of course, there are already puzzles without
pictures on the front
<Minstrel> Queued: you have to turn the pieces over
<Queued-W> I'll be damned, it's a kitten

<Nekroe> when any of yous were at high school, did any idiots
ever knee you in the arse, and go: 'YOUVE JUST BEEN BOOFED UP
THE ARSE BY AN ELEPHANT!'?
<than> when I was at high school, some elephants came up
behind me and stuck their dicks in my ass and said "YOU'VE
JUST BEEN KNEE'D IN THE ARSE BY A HIGH SCHOOL KID!!"
<Nekroe> mmm. clever
<than> I didn't think it was clever. I thought it was a bit
juvenile. Those elephants should have known better

<Zax`away> BUT WHAT DOES GOD DO WHEN A KITTEN MASTURBATES!?