Terron: I told him I was sick
Terron: He was all like.. bullshit you're not sick
reddkin26: So how'd you get off of work yesterday then?
Terron: I said, "I'm fucking my sister, is that sick enough
for you mother fucker?"
Terron: I got my final paycheck yesterday

amandahirst2007 : why is it that when you ship something by
car it's called shipment and when it's shipped by boat it's
called cargo
Vincent_Valentine9 : Cargo is simply a term to describe
something held on a ship, plane, truck or train. It has
nothing to do with what the cargo is actually used for. The
"Shipment" is an item being moved, it got it's name because
back in the day, before cars, ships and boats down rivers and
oceans were the main form of travel.
Vincent_Valentine9 : When Planes, trains and automobiles began
to be used, the term simply carried over.
amandahirst2007 : ur stupid. asl?
Vincent_Valentine9 : ..........

*** MindWreck (sifu98@ip3e835487.speed.planet.nl) has joined
channel #asianpop
11:07 <MindWreck> !list
11:07 <poeham>  --- #asianpop :You're not channel operator
11:07 <poeham> :(
11:08 * poeham was ready to kick that time :(
11:08 <poeham> hey you
11:08 <poeham> LEAVE
*** MindWreck has left channel #asianpop
11:08 <poeham> $$
11:08 * poeham is just as effective from the sidelines

<Karnaugh> Nutmeg: are you still sexy?
<Nutmeg> no i lost photoshop

<Supamoochu> do you know durex have a guaruntee that their
condoms will not get people preggers
<Supamoochu> i wonder how they refund
<Flamebird> with a free coathanger

<@Aeriana> University union elections next week, there's this
candidate
<@Aeriana> Her poster is like...
<@Aeriana> It says "people + vision = change"
<@Aeriana> I'm thinking.....
<@Aeriana> It doesn't equals change, it will return a data
type mismatch.

<Tigwa> how funny would it be if you got held-up by a tshirt
ninja
<Tigwa> 'can you describe the man?' 'errr....well he looked
like he had a ninja hood made from a tshirt, was very pale and
thin, and kept yelling i will haxx0r j00'

* kipton is listening to cute gay boy jacking of in his
underwear :: 13s
<sprite>...
<kipton> the description is misleading

<Bubbaprog> sweet
<Bubbaprog> my posters came from the museum of modern art
<Bubbaprog> three huuuge art prints, magritte and miro, for 20
buckls shipped
<Bubbaprog> you should see the giant bazooka they came in
<Bubbaprog> it's like a tampon applicator for rosie o'donnell

<Otakutard> Dude... if you put the words "I want to have sex
with you until the sun goes down." into a translator, and
translate it into Dutch, then back to english
<Otakutard> it comes out
<Otakutard> I want slaughtered with you have to the sun
decrease.
<Otakutard> Kinky dutchlanders

* The_Epitome [Playing]: [Enya - Only Time] [3:40][3.36MB]
<Ochre> Enya? My father loves that Enya song at the end of
LoTR
<Ochre> but usually by the end of the movie he's drunk as a
post, so He'll pretty much listen to anything

myke: my sex life is over before it began
myke: i'm married

<@knucklz> and i was going to make a joke about the shit i
just took
<@knucklz> but it was corny

[+Hobbes] I was driving by a church on the way home and on the
message board out front it said "Under new management"

<SuperKing> 90% of men kiss their wife goodbye when they leave
the house.
<SuperKing> The rest kiss their house goodbye when they leave
the wife.

<vai> My mom is like, deathly afraid of worms and she saw one
on the sidewalk
<vai> so she made me go get it and she went inside the house,
so I went in the house with the worm in my hand
<vai> and she yelled my name and told me to get rid of it, so
I threw it outside I came in the house
<vai> she called me an asshole and a son of a bitch
<vai> so I was like "son of a bitch?" she said "shut up,
you're adopted go away"
<vai> =(

<icekickr> i think i made my mom wonder why she ever had me
<icekickr> she told me she was going to a couples shower
<icekickr> so i said, "oh a gangbang"
<icekickr> i guess its times like that

<CharColt64> I think when you get a roaming charge a lil icon
should pop up, of a guy gettin fucked in the ass

<Sholin> You know, I went to KFC the other day with my Mother,
And she asked them if they had anything fried..

<Kaelic> I know the trick to talking to girls
<Twinge> Just run up to her and say "DIGGGGITTAALLLL
PANNNNTTTSSSSS.... ACTIVATE!"
<Kaelic> Wtf?
<Kaelic> Might as well say "Go Go Gadget Penis!"

<Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and
if i move the mouse around he chases after it
<spitfire> haha mendo
<spitfire> take a screen shot
<spitfire> wait
<spitfire> that made no sense

<Flamebird> i was watching Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon the
other night.. and i was wondering where all the tigers and
dragons are
<Flamebird> then i realised they're all crouching and hidden
<Flamebird> :/

<raven> Any cat people here? I've got a problem with Nicky...
<Leth> I've been known to be handy with a wok
<Lore> Why, I'm a cat person.
<raven> I took Morgan to the vet yesterday - he was gone for a
total of 45 minutes, got two vaccs and a blood draw.
<raven> Brought him home and Nicky went BALLISTIC.
<raven> Spent the rest of the night yowling and hissing and
attacking MOrgan.
<CrazyClimber> nicky smells the hospital smells on morgan
<Lore> Yeah, I've seen that happen.
<raven> Is there anything I can do to get the hospital stink
off him, then? Pack his carrier in coffe grounds or something?
<tieboy> how about a bath
<CrazyClimber> just give it a day or so
<Lore> We tried catnip and butter, and neither worked.
<agent_orange> butter?
<agent_orange> you buttered your cat?
<Lore> Yes.
<raven> it's the best way to butter the house.
<raven> Cats are effective butter delivery units.
<Lore> We read somewhere to put butter on a cat's forehead.
<agent_orange> did the emolient facilitate insertion?
<Lore> And the other cat licks it off, and likes the first
cat, because it tastes like butter.
<Lore> As I said, it didn't work.
<agent_orange> you read sopmewhere to put butter on the cats
foreWHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING
<tieboy> rub the two cats together vigorously until they smell
like each other
<agent_orange> piss on them both at the same time
<tieboy> KITTY TASTES LIKE BUTTER
<raven> It's more fun to put tape on their feet.
<agent_orange> why not do both
<agent_orange> and then get out the handycam
<Lore> I believe what I was thinking was "Maybe it will work.
And even if it doesn't, I get to butter the cat's forehead."
<agent_orange> AFHV would *love* some footage of sticky-pawed,
freshly buttered cats trying in vain to avoid a stream of
steaming miller lite
<Samwise> You know what helps with feuding cats, Lore? Sending
me lots of cash.
<agent_orange> now, see, I read somewhere --
<agent_orange> I think it was leviticus
<agent_orange> -- that what you should do is frost them
<agent_orange> betty crocker, right out of the can
<raven> Chocolate or buttercream?
<Leth> rave: go chocolate, buttercreme isn't pareve
<CrazyClimber> you're frosting meat?
<agent_orange> and then there'a always Cat Wellington
<agent_orange> "What are you doing in the kitchen, dear?"
"Just buttering the cat, pumpkin!"
<agent_orange> "Why don't you baste the chicken while you're
at it, too, dear?" "Baste the ... *light bulb* ...Sure! Sure,
I'll 'baste the chicken'!"
<CrazyClimber> a google images search for "buttered cat"
returns a picture of isaac hayes
<agent_orange> chocolate salty cat balls

WC128: OMFG that pizza was orgasmic
WC128: it was as if God and Jesus and Mary just bukakked into
my mouth

SuprJmpmanCarp00: I can't be the only one who finds it funny
that KFC dumped Jason Alexander for their ads in favor of a
room full of black people

<xi> my parents sent me a fucking text message to tell me they
put my dog down today

<Cedaie> Your ignorance isn't helping.
<@KTottE> How am I ignorant?
<Cedaie> <@KTottE> Do it again, do it right - Ooh great help
*clap* *clap*
<@KTottE> http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=ignorant
<@KTottE> Maybe the word you were searching for was http://
dictionary.reference.com/search?q=arrogant ?
<Cedaie> yeah thats the one
<Cedaie> Your arrogance isn't helping,
<@KTottE> Neither is your ignorance

<ThatOneDude> the last time somone listened to a Bush, a bunch
of people wandered in the desert for 40 years

<Shockster> Did you hear about that woman that smoked dope in
the streets of Baghdad? She was so stoned.

<Calisa> When I was little I always wanted little people that
could fit in the palm of my hand.
<JPGumby> they are called 'employees'

<ds91> <3
<ds91> <#
<ds91> <3
<ds91> <#
<ds91> U MAKE MY HEART POUND

<FuriousC> listening to music no one else cares about doesnt
make you cool, its just means you're a ska fan

garrett8675309: heard you threatened to shoot my girlfriend...
imptacular: yeah
garrett8675309: you should get your membership card in 7-10
days

<DeadMansHand> haha, last night, me and pete went out to
celebrate his engagement and got hugely drunk
<DeadMansHand> we got this great idea to bury eachother in the
sand close to the water and see who would chicken out first
<DeadMansHand> took about a half hour, but the water got up to
my face so i freaked and got out
<DeadMansHand> i looked around for pete and he must've
chickened out before me and stumbled home or something heh
<DeadMansHand> What'd he say when he woke up this morning?
<Thirteen-> uhh.. he hasn't come home yet.. i thought he was
staying with you?
<DeadMansHand> holy fuck.
<DeadMansHand> i fucking hope im wrong about what im thinking
right now
<DeadMansHand> im fucking going back to the beach to make sure
<DeadMansHand> if he gets home, call me, i don't want to be
worrying about this
<Thirteen-> will do. you better hope he's not still buried,
you'll be in deep shit.
quit: (DeadMansHand)
<Tyran> wtf? pete came home last night you fuck. Ken's going
to be worrying about this shit all day
<Thirteen-> haha yea, but it will be fun while it lasts
join: (PeteRepeat) (bob@3F8C4655.11D1C8C.18637D35.IP)
<PeteRepeat> fucking ken
<PeteRepeat> ken... that fucker buried me in the sand last
night, i ran off about 5 minutes to it, left him there to be
an idiot
<quiqsilver> pete, ken didn't come back last night, i thought
he was with you.
<PeteRepeat> oh fuck.
<PeteRepeat> if ken shows up, make sure he doesn't know that
im at the beach digging for his body. i don't want him to
think i care or anything.
quit: (PeteRepeat)
<Thirteen-> rofl. Those 2 are going to get a huge surprise
when they meet at the beach.
<Tyran> i can't beleive how perfect their timing was

<Mouldy_Llama> ok, I will come clean
<Mouldy_Llama> I only said I got with the chicken to look cool

<flowerfrenzy> i went to one of my elementary school dances to
find out what it was all about. it was stupid.
<flowerfrenzy> we had to dance like five feet away from the
guy
<okto> haha!
<okto> "leave room for Jesus!"

<Sukato> Once again
<Sukato> my firewall successfully blocked hack attempt from
192.168.0.1
<Sukato> Then some programs get kicked offline
<Jed> I know that IP address
<Jed> He's a mean bastard.

<rellekmr> i'm all for promoting abstinence
<rellekmr> the more people who are abstinant the less pathetic
i look :)

(f`CNK) so lets say im driving
(f`CNK) and sum1 yells in my fucking ear
(f`CNK) i wont lose concentration man
(f`CNK) neither would u!
(f`CNK) we are like superman
(Alchemeron) superman doesn't drive a car, you fucking idiot,
he can fly

<Kyr> When i was in psychiatry it was so funny when the
psychologist tried to make me do this Rorschach test.  I said
"that's a Rorschach test innit?" and he was like "yeah but
you're not supposed to know that.  Now the test 'll be
useless"
<Kyr> So I said the drawings looked like dead people and
vaginas to console the guy.

sup4hleet: eh, she's cute and has a rack you could mount a
server in

<KainSularei> I wish that it was possible to edit car honks
<KainSularei> sometimes someone tries to cut me off, but i
always see it coming and speed ahead of them
<KainSularei> So I'm thinking I get some LOTR Gandalf bumper
sticker on my back bumper
<KainSularei> I'd like to be able to hit the steering wheel
and have them hear this booming "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" as I go
by

<Bludywar> can ne one get me a cdkey for counter strike
<Bludywar> a working one
<Rhyth> Go and buy a copy of hl?
<Bludywar> I got one
<Bludywar> my boy ate the fucking cd key
<Bludywar> he took the sticker part off and ate it
<Rhyth> :/
<Bludywar> can  you give me the cdkey?
<Bludywar> can ne one give me a cdkey tho
<Bludywar> for counter strike
<Rhyth> Your boy ate it?
<Bludywar> ya
<Rhyth> That's the most absurd excuse for not having a cdkey
ever.

<Evilution> I bought these heinous (but somewhat loveable)
underwear today, a silver-metallic snakeskin-boxer.. and when
I'm at the register the clerk says 'are you serious? I
wouldn't even buy those.. and I'm gay..'

<odd> last night i dreamt about being in Rio de Janiero.
<odd> the funny thing is, i've dreamt about being in Rio
before, and in this dream I said to myself, "wow, it's just
like in my dreams."

Quit: (+[WG]sPiKie) (Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-
[sin(xy)/2.362x].)

<timmo> today i found out
<timmo> that this girl who was a consistant cock tease to me
<timmo> has cancer
<timmo> some reason i find that karma is at work here

<broox> so my speakers haven't beeen working for a while
<broox> they were plugged into the mic port
<npl> umm, i think they are color-coded
<broox> haha, i know
<broox> i usually just reach back there and guess which hole
it is
* npl has set the topic on channel #cell6 to <broox> i usually
just reach back there and guess which hole it is

<Max> I went to donate some money to bash.org today
<Max> I clicked the Paypal Donate button, and it comes up with
the message:
<Max> Bash.org Paypal Donation attempt #56489 pending
<Max> *two minutes later*
<Max> Bash.org Paypal Donation attempt #56489 rejected

<Radz> Should I replay FF7?
<spiderbait> Nobody's stopping you.
<Radz> That's like another 90 hours I'd be away from you guys
though. :(
<payne> Do it.
<spiderbait> Do it.
<xCell> Do it.