<T-Wolf> man, my girlfriend left me for some faggot named
robert
<RdAwG20> you don't live in Hope mills do you?
<T-Wolf> ya, why man?
<RdAwG20> lol, just wondering, was her namne alisson?
<T-Wolf> you mother fucker

<Wodeh> After that I never searched google for "naked dog sex
fuck whore cock" again
<poli> ¬_¬
<Wodeh> I was looking for artwork by Ian Van Dahl
<Wodeh> Then I realised Ian Van Dahl was some guy who made
crappy trance music
<Wodeh> So I just put random words in, in the hope I might get
that picture of dogs playing cards

<Colorblind_18f> if u did find out u had children how would u
feel?
<Cocknocker> sorry for myself

leafhound> i find it humorous as fuck that what is babyfat on
girls is on guys...a beergut
mo0nChiLd> nah, its a fuel tank for a sex machine

* XeniX has the bestest most gorgeous g/f in the world
<Toughie> lol
<Toughie> thanks BF
<Steppenwolf> Toughie and XeniX, sitting in a tree
<Toughie> i-r-c-i-n-g

<russki> still reading bash?
<Zaichik> Yeah... :(
<Zaichik> I got myself off reading webcomics, I can get myself
off reading this!
<Zaichik> That sounded SO wrong.

<Darkening> something doesn't feel right on my system now i
just upgraded my nivida drivers
<Borgs8472> do you sense a disturbance in the force?
<Borgs8472> "theses aren't the driver's you're looking for"
<Darkening> ^geek

<GC> do you have any idea how hard it is killing flies on your
screen when its a touchscreen!? you have to wait till they
walk off a button
<Mfling> rofl
<mx> heh
<GC> i swear they have started to get wise and just sit around
on the close buttons of all my apps!

<Slave`Shadu|Gone>  So, Nall, what kind of porn you looking
at...
<Slave`Shadu|Gone>  Bukkake?
<XShadow[Gone]> Anal AND Oral?
<XShadow[Gone]> 69?
<Slave`Shadu|Gone>  Asian?
<Slave`Shadu|Gone>  Oreintal
<Slave`Shadu|Gone>  Etc.
<XShadow[Gone]> Irish boxing?
<Slave`Shadu|Gone>  Wait, Wtf.

<fatmanippo> i watch hentai for the story
<fatmanippo> hentais are hilarious
<KingTaco> a samurai who sucks at everything but sex goes on a
quest to have sex with sex ninjas so he can gain treasure for
his clan XD
<KingTaco> ingenious plotline XD
<Konis> ... "sex ninjas"
<Pruin> my my, this world certainly lacks sex ninjas
<StormGrass> imagine how it'd be like if we DID have any...mm
<Pruin> any hot chicks here wanna dress up like a ninja and
fuck my (and/or others) brains out?
* StormGrass nearly grows a stiffy
<airwaffle> if sexual frustration was harnessable energy, this
channel could power the US

<chiptuned> I just noticed that I have a worn out pattern in
the shape of a boner on my underwear

<skycreatoR> hehe awesome
<skycreatoR> today at my job (i work in a cinema) we had the
premiere on shrek 2
<skycreatoR> and because of the ocation, green popcorn
<skycreatoR> then some little girl came over to my booth and
asked why the popcorns were green
<skycreatoR> i said it was because we put mashed shrek down in
the popcorn machine
<skycreatoR> then she began crying and ran away

Hyp3rHax0r: they say office romances never work out
Hyp3rHax0r: they're probably right
Hyp3rHax0r: what kind of weirdo falls in love with an office?

<mrlogic> you know, for a moment I misread this headline:
"Bush and Kerry Hit Road, Trade Blows on Jobs"
<lordandrei> And yet, they still oppose Gay Marriage
<mrlogic> imagine

<CookieMan> from slashdot: "InternetNews.com has a report of a
new Internet2 land-speed record: '859 gigabytes of data in
less than 17 minutes.' InternetNews goes on to say, 'This
record speed of 6.63Gbps is equivalent to transferring a
full-length DVD movie in four seconds.'"
<CookieMan> and i thought 56k was slow...
<@RuneB> CookieMan: "and that great disturbance you just felt
was a million RIAA and MPAA executives screaming out in terror
all at once, and then nothing."

<YouDeadSucka> What do Pink Floyd and Dale Earnheart have in
common?
<YouDeadSucka> Their last big hit was "The Wall"

<random_monkey> "UPS" - that's the noise they make when they
drop your parcels

[fris] whats the most rebel thing you have done
[O_o`] destroyed the death star

<thedeathart>Say, If you have a username and a password for a
FTP server, how do you get the address?

<Ingo>I can't uninstall it, there seems to be some kind of
"Uninstall Shield"

<Mr-d> How do you make love to a fat girl?
<Graham> Slap and ride the waves?

<oobey> my school year is off to a great start
<oobey> I was in the back of my physics auditorium, trying not
to fall completely asleep. The professor asks a question about
what method we use when doing math in science, so to pretend
like I'm not falling alseep, I shout out "sig figs"
<oobey> I then open my eyes and realize the prof is currently
talking about vectors and scalars, so the question was
dreamed, but the answer was not, and the entire class has come
to a complete stop now
<oobey> at this point I'm at a loss as to what to do, so I
pick up my bag and walk out without saying another word

<mookster> Florida's getting fucked again... That really
sucks. Good luck, man
<litty> not to avoid or make light the seriousness of any
hurricane, but saying florida gets fucked by a hurricane is
damn funny.  it's like the eye of the hurricane (the vagina)
is on a mission to get it on with something. and there could
be no better way to fill it's gaping gash with the biggest
penis in the world (florida).

<+Sam2> Pregnancy tests: Blue line means your pregnant, yellow
socks mean you missed.

<Keolah> whats up?
<Zarggg> A direction away from the center of gravity of a
celestial object.

<Aragel> goth  in this area means...mommy and daddy both work
till 6pm and im home alone all day so i rebel by looking like
a racoon and wandering main street claiming to have a drug
problem and drinking Lattes for attention

<reb> Girls are like rocks; you skip the flat ones.

<BlueStar> my dad used to leave the dish on the porn channels
<BlueStar> so i'd turn it on and there'd be porn
<BlueStar> i was always like "augh!!"
<hotdogcore> eww
<BlueStar> then i discovered the internet... haha.
<hotdogcore> ta da
<hotdogcore> !
<BlueStar> my mom walks in as I've got like 10 windows of BME
hard open
<BlueStar> I'm usin win 98 at that time
<hotdogcore> ahahahaha
<BlueStar> so i try to click the desktop icon
<BlueStar> and its too slow
<BlueStar> so i turn my computer off
<BlueStar> she yelled at me: "you're going to get bad sectors!
if you're looking at porn you dont' want me to see, turn off
your monitor!"
<BlueStar> ....I got bad sectors.
<mal> HAHAHAHAHA
<hotdogcore> bahaha

<^Sasquatch^> AFK = Away From Komputer
<Gika> ...
<Gika> komputer...
<Rigel[AFK]> ...
<Larm> ...

<@Kouji_Minamoto> A cucumber, a pickle, and a penis were all
sitting around one day talking about how much their lives
sucked. The cucumber said, "Man, my life sucks. Whenever I get
big, fat, and juicy, someone cuts me up and puts me in a
salad." So the pickle looks at him and says, "You think you
have it bad? Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, someone puts
me in vinegar, puts spices on me, and sticks me in a jar." The
penis glared at them both and said, "You guys think you have
it rough? Whenever I get big, fat, and juicy, they put a
rubber tarp over my head, stick me in a dark room, and bang my
head against the wall until i throw up and pass out."
<orangebear289> XD
<+Soundwave> lol
<@kris> lol

<Shadowless> How can I tell if I'm circumsized or not? From
everyone's descriptions, I'm assuming I am not. I think I even
recall my father telling me they decided not to have it done
to me because of problems that can develop. I'd ask but I'm a
little too embarrassed. I'm very private with my body.
<Shadowless> I do have quite a bit of loose skin below the
glans, but it's still clearly separated when erect. When I was
young though, before I was getting erections, the skin was
always bunched up around the glans and I could easily slide it
over. I am also extremely sensitive on the under-side of my
shaft toward the top -- exactly where the skin is. I get
ejaculate by just massaging this.
<Shadowless> My sincere apologies if this was too graphic for
anyone.
<Shadowless> I'm tempted to just suck it up and use Google
image search to find out.
<Baloogan> dude, WHAT THE FUCK

<NESS> sup
<blanco> how about you greet me like a white man?
<NESS> sorry
<NESS> HEIL DEUTCHLAND

KazeoHin: can I lick your penis?
SmarterChild: What if I want to lick my penis?

strangeanya: yah he's a prick...
porter is a dick: men are such pigs
porter is a dick: show me your tits

<@Weedums> You know the rodeo?
<@Weedums> When your doing a chick from behind then you say
something to freak them out
<@Weedums> like your sister bit me in bed last night
<@Weedums> and she tries to get away?
<@Weedums> And you see how long you can stay on?
<QuickSilver> D:
<@Weedums> Well... the best thing to say is...
<QuickSilver> hmmmm
<QuickSilver> ?
<@Weedums> "I have fucking siphilis bitch"
<QuickSilver> hahaha
<@Weedums> But when she said
<@Weedums> "oh I already have that"
<@Weedums> The game changed pretty quickly.

<Shuurai> i think it'd be hilarious if you went to coinstar
and dumped in $1.02 worth of coins
<Shuurai> and then they deduct like 10 cents
<Shuurai> so you're left with coins anyway

IcedEarth156: my bro is coming over to work on the house
and I gotta help him
bobthefish021: oh, go....doing manly work
IcedEarth156: actually I'll be making the lemonade

<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language

<SmilinBob> !8ball... what's wrong with my e-mail?
<FarkStats> SmilinBob: Ask again later.
<SmilinBob> !8ball what's wrong with my e-mail?
<FarkStats> SmilinBob: Outlook not so good.

quit: (ChanServ) (ChanServ@Services.GameSurge.net) (brb)
(@eFire) brb?
(@eFire) the bot just left and said brb?
(@eFire) wtf
(@eFire) where the f#@ he think hes going?
(@eFire) to the bathroom!!???

OriginalEmoo: haha someone lost her bronze medal for cyling
cuz she failed doping test
OriginalEmoo: god damn if i end up taking drugs to perform
better i am not getting my ass kicked by 2 people who didnt

<Outsyder> ok
<Outsyder> so I was sitting in gym on friday
<Outsyder> my friends were talking about some stupid thing
<Outsyder> and I was stroking my leg hair
<Outsyder> and i thought
<Outsyder> "hey, if a supervillian had hairy legs, he wouldn't
need a cat"

<Cruzin3434> member me fag boy
<zaim> depends
<Cruzin3434> you fucked my grandpa the other day
<zaim> nah dude
<zaim> wasn't me
<zaim> wait
<zaim> what day was it

<@champ> anyone put garlic in their popcorn?
<@Cruz> no
<@Cruz> i spray butter
<@champ> is spray butter any good?
<@crypto> its not real butter
<@champ> i can't believe it!

<MrFluffy> How do I tell which whores aren't cops?
<Gil27> ircops?
<Malolo> whores?
<MrFluffy> ... irl
<MrFluffy> you nerds
<Malolo> irl?
<Gil27> wtf

<Psi> pancakes!
<Psi> :D
<Psi> is there anyone who doesn't like them?
<Fenris> nazis.
<Fenris> but you can't blame them.
<Fenris> the only reason they invaded belgium was for the
waffles.
<Fenris> those fuckers love waffles.

<pyromaniac> reality tv is a very sketchy "reality"... one guy
picxking from 25 hott chicks... oh yea THATS reality

(Nick): Dude, It'll take me weeks to complete a movie.. I am a
perfectionist.. But I like to take my sweet sweet time
(CEM): I'm a perfectionist too
(Deranged): mE 2

<Xal> how come people from foreign countries find it apt to
use every single fucking smiley on msn?
<Puck> XD
<Puck> Because, Xaleth
<Puck> They find it so amusing :O
<Xal> "My father just beat me with a stick (h):D
<Puck> o_o
<Xal> Today, I got a hysterectimony. 8D :> :|
<Selene> XD XD
<Covered> xD

You6Know: oh my gah .. everytime i pee in the pool tho im
scared it turns purple like that episode of Pete & Pete