<Teratogen> What did the drunk say to Jesus when Jesus dropped the cross? <@James> uh oh <Teratogen> "You keep dropping that thing and they're gonna throw you outta the parade." *** You have been kicked from channel #bible (that was so not funny)
<clem> I know why I'm single <clem> there's no 0xGF
<nntndgrl> wanna cyber? <nntndgrl> what do you have on right now? <ghalath> Umm.. MSN, mIRC and Winamp, why?
sovquestionmark> TV/ Movies: Category: Highlander: What was the name of Duncan MacLeod's monk mentor? @sovquestionmark> Here's your 1st hint: da____ [Darius]> I should know this @sovquestionmark> Time's up! The answer was: darius @sovquestionmark> OMFG @sovquestionmark> LOL @sovquestionmark> !topic travis fails at life so hardcore ChanServ changes topic to 'travis fails at life so hardcore' [Darius]> I do.
* ellisImbrius (~Imbrius@rrcs-24-105-184-134.nys.biz.rr.com) has joined #maddox <ellisImbrius> ppl download remove tool for new worm 'i-worm.mymoon' you can download here , while im online... http://192.168.1.2:8000/ * ellisImbrius (~Imbrius@rrcs-24-105-184-134.nys.biz.rr.com) Quit (Read error: EOF from client)
[+tanjo]: i hate the panic after you do a wet fart , the split second where the mind considers if you've followed through or not....
<harm_> today this one lady got pissed off cause we dont carry i quote wireless power supplies <ogregasm> a what <harm_> thats what i said <harm_> maybe you want an adaptor for a wireless router o rsomething?? <harm_> shes goes no no i read online about this i wannit i wannit <harm_> then she got pissed when i told her that kind of technology doesnt exist <ogregasm> heh <harm_> i tried to be nice but it got to the point where i was like"get back to us in 30 years" <harm_> "once we attain the secret of positron deflector shields, wireless power supplies shall become a reality" <ogregasm> why bother being that much of an ass to the poor woman <harm_> well shes the one who got all up in my face asking for the store manager <harm_> i told her he had just teleported to a corporate meeting in tokyo
<Georgo> bah, you stupid people and your big paragraphs, I always get the gist of things by reading the first and last sentences <Piggah> Well Georgo, there was this one time me and your mom went out to the store. However, it ended up with my getting these sudden, primal urges. One thing led to another and needless to say I was fucking her doggy-style and that's when I yelled "Who's the Boss?," stuck my cock in her ass, and then screamed "TONY DANZA!" But in the end we only landed up buying a few vegetables and some milk. <Georgo> god I love happy storys
<CommanderStab> Lee (Bleeding) had this cool-sounding lecturer once <CommanderStab> They were in like some biology class or whatever and the guy was like <CommanderStab> "Very few species partake in sex for pleasure. Can you think of some such species?" <CommanderStab> So everyone is like, duh, humans <CommanderStab> "Yes, exactly, humans! Humans are not bound by some mating pattern, they will often merely have sex just for the enjoyment of it!" <Kaneda> ^^ <CommanderStab> "So, for example, if I was to ask this girl" (points to some girl in the first row) "if she would have sex with me, she would say yes" <Tiger-Rik> lol ^^" <CommanderStab> and the girl is like covering her face and everything =D <CommanderStab> And then the dude waits for the laughter to die down and goes <CommanderStab> "Of course, this is rare. Most of the time it is the GIRL who asks ME to have sex with THEM!" <CommanderStab> He got an ovation =D <Tiger-Rik> BWAHAHAHAHA
<Pyrol> So, I was in Foods today and we were making pasta and my teacher came over to me and says "Your pot is hanging out". My hand immedietly went to my sweatshirt pocket to make sure my baggy was still there and then she pointed to the pot with the pasta in it. I realized then that the handle was facing out over the edge of the stove. She gave me the weirdest look....
<Locl-Yocl> I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.
<Elysium> I think I need to watch some porn for luck <gNaRKiLL> doesnt work <gNaRKiLL> id be the luckiest fucker alive <gNaRKiLL> id shit leprachauns
<Lalavava> Load this room with 1000 bananas and what do you get <K19> Banana netsplit
marksydneyshaw: I haven't been at school since 1981 ChristianOtte87: No, you're old. marksydneyshaw: Yes I was19 then! ChristianOtte87: Damn. marksydneyshaw: But I'm really just a big kid, as Legion said, who still reads comics! ChristianOtte87: No, you're pretty much an old guy living in denial.
VerusMaya: my business card :-P VerusMaya: I have 75 or so business cards printed VerusMaya: 50 going out with flyers around neighborhood PooMaster451: gheeey VerusMaya: pssh PooMaster451: you should sell lemonade too VerusMaya: haha PooMaster451: 25 cents a glass PooMaster451: on the street corner PooMaster451: like THE WHORE YOU ARE VerusMaya: o_O
* Therapist is now known as TheRapist <Zvorg> ... <JebusCrip> ... <Stateobv> dotdotdot <TheRapist> What? I like capitalizing random letters..
<Tscully> Gimme a C! <Lich> C! <MikeB> C <A_Flayer> C!! <Tscully> Gimme a H! <Lich> H! <MikeB> H <A_Flayer> H! <Tscully> Gimme a EESE! <Lich> EESE... <MikeB> EESE! <A_Flayer> EESE <Tscully> Gimme a CAKE! <Lich> CAKE! <MikeB> CAKE <A_Flayer> CAKE!! *Tscully runs off with the three cakes <Tscully> Suckers.
* Hugahay is like a deer in headlights <Entrak> Stupid enough to see it coming?
<brently> i want a girl <enigmiac> me too <brently> a good girl <enigmiac> we'll see <brently> a partner <enigmiac> good girls are hard to fuck <enigmiac> er, <enigmiac> find FIND! <enigmiac> I MEANT TO SAY FIND <brently> mmhmm
<Arkangel> hey, bork <[TMBJ]Bork_Tanbey> hi ark <DCz_power> hey borg <DCz_power> er <DCz_power> Bork <Arkangel> haha <Arkangel> they should make Borg porno <Arkangel> and the catch phrase is "RESISTANCE IS FERTILE" <[TMBJ]Bork_Tanbey> YOU WILL BE INSEMINATED. RESISTANCE IS FERTILE.
Mugen clutches his hard (+Mugen) heart* (+Mugen) O_O damn
<SoulFlayer> i have read every single quote on bash.org <VDJ> you know, thats kinda like saying i have memorized the windows 95 source code
<Twins> I watched a vesectomy reversal last night <Fullauto> eeeh <Fullauto> I hate nose surgery <Fullauto> it's soooo sick <Twins> D: <Twins> Vasectomy = genital surgery D: * Fullauto runs back to modelling
nordic24sweet: Statistically speaking, the job of pizza delivery driver is a more dangerous job than that of fire fighting. wastedVegas: that makes sense. A friend of mine who was a pizza dilivery guy was once offered a blow job by a guy he delivered a pizza to. That shit doesn't happen to Firefighters
* dfs|Sleep is now known as dfs|Sleeping|Really <dfs|Sleeping|Really> Really! <dfs|Sleeping|Really> Damn you all. <dfs|Sleeping|Really> night <Ant> if you really want to sleep i can timeban you until morning. :P * Quits: ChanServ (ChanServ@Services.GameSurge.net) (*.net *.split) <Ant> ... or not.
KelBell853: im 4'12'' 82 pounds, hazel eyes, brown hair blond highlights, medium length hair i am KTIK: 4'12"? KelBell853: yeah 4 feet 12 inches i am KTIK: I hope you're kidding. KelBell853: im dead serious i am KTIK: How many inches are in a foot? KelBell853: 12 i am KTIK: Put two and two together... KelBell853: opps yeah im 5 foot
[Talrin] (OOC), "When you beat me in hand to hand combat..." [Axel] (OOC), "*challenges Talrin to Rock, Paper, Scissors*" [Cordt] (OOC), "Hand to hand." [Cordt] (OOC), "He's got a point." [Talrin] (OOC), "Okay..." [Talrin] (OOC), "...1...2...3...ROCK!" [Axel] (OOC), "1...2...3...NATURAL TWENTY!" [Talrin] (OOC), "..."
<Vartia> whats up Xery? <Xerion> just looking at my harddrives hoping they are capable of mating so i can put some data on their offspring :)
<Apocalypse> So I was at work and decided to entertain myself, everyone else went out to lunch and I was by myself <Apocalypse> Pron was 1st on the list, so I start surfing the internet, following links to various sites, and after 5 minutes or so I decided to stop <Apocalypse> By then I had 30 or so screens opened up, all maximised, and while I'm closing them one by one (admiring the pics one last time) I hear a door open nearby and turn around to look, and I kept clicking <Apocalypse> Unfortunately, my mouse must have moved a little, because when I turned back I realised I was clicking on the "print" button instead, over and over and over :/ <Apocalypse> And to make things worse, things get printed downstairs in a special room, then get brought up to us to make things more conveniant <Apocalypse> In brief, in 10 minutes time I have to see the boss and explain why I decided to print out 10 or so full page pictures of two girls fingering each other on the floor :(
<rolo> alright, someone pls explain to me what the fuck "it" is in the phrase "keep it real" <draco> yeah, and how/why does it become fake? <thrgy> and why the fuck is everyone its keeper?!?!?! * traxor has quit IRC (Quit: it has failed to be kept real in here)
<FoXeh> The most dangerous thing in the world is a Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass <FoXeh> Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision. <FoXeh> Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision. <FoXeh> Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course. <FoXeh> Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course. <FoXeh> Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S ONE FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP. <FoXeh> Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
<ExT> Can you spell *CENCUR* <ExT> Or was it... SENSUR? <Clownie> not any more <ExT> maybe SENZUR? <ExT> ZENCUR? <ExT> Allright then <Lebowske> lol <Clownie> I'll just pick letters from a scrabble bag, I have more chance of being right than you
[eddo] What's the job application to Hooters? [eddo] They just give you a bra and say: Here, fill this out?
<Ghozt> So I was brushing my teeth and had to go to the bathroom, so I walked into the bathroom to take a #1 while brushing my teeth. I get my thing out and all the sudden my left hand starts jerking off my dick. I'm like, wtf!? Turns out I just had one of those "pat your head while rubbing your stomach" moments.
(ComradOtter) "A train station is where a train stops. A bus station is where a bus stops. On my desk I have a workstation..."
Reynir > Have you ever tried prostituation? Reynir > it's not like sex at all. more like multiplayer masturbation
<Raxor> I love the way my mom bursts into my room while I'm masturbating <Raxor> then when I suddenly lean forward to cover my genitals she stands there and pretends nothing happened <Raxor> just looks straight at me and says "come set the table" <Raxor> then she kept standing there until I finally said, "okay..." <Borisyen> she was waiting to be asked to 'help out' bwahahaha <Raxor> then as she was leaving I noticed I never turned the porn off, so there was some girl sucking on a dick on the screen the whole time <Raxor> well bbl.. I've got to do some awkward table setting.
(Chimerasame): I HAVE COMBINED TWO JAPANESE WORDS TO CREATE A MASTERPIECE OF HORRIFYING PROPORTIONS (Chimerasame): seppukakke.
BillyLove: Half awake, some of my large mammal friends and I are sitting around playing Scatergories at around 1 AM. BillyLove: Then out of noware we get the subject "Things you've never tasted" and the letter C... BillyLove: We thaught that was bad till be got the letter N and the fallowing subjects: "Things that are black," "Things you save up to buy," "Tools," and "Things your afraid of." BillLove: Right before we got the letter H and "People who work at night", we got W and "Female athletes", then someone yells out "WHO CARES?" That's the last time we play that late. Bufford: I think our game of Apples to Apples was worse. The word was "spicy" and someone played the card that said "JFK Assassination."
<BunnyMan730> So in my massive driving fit yesterday, I went into a Smiths up in north ogden to get a drink and a snack, I saw the pharmisit thingy and decided to walk up to it and ask for some condoms... The guy there said "Sure... What are you going to use them for?"... <keucu> .............. <keucu> What the Hell.
The wolf catches Red Riding Hood and rapes her violently. After he's done, Red Riding Hood threatens him, "I'm gonna go to the police and tell them that you violetntly raped me four times!!" The wolf looks at her puzzled and says, "What do you mean FOUR times?" Red Riding just looks at him and replies, "Well, we've still got time"
<Javin> *I* could put together a flash site that quotes 1000 imaginary people saying they saw a giant space monkey come and throw flammable poo at the pentagon. Doesn't make it true.
< pillBOX_w> "You can just grab both sides and twist - as you might twist a squirrel - and then eat the halves over the sink wildly while the juice runs down your arm." -- Tycho, on eating nectarines < pillBOX_w> How would one go about twisting a squirrel? < jer> pillBOX_w, one hand on body, one hand on head, move in opposite directions < pillBOX_w> jer: I see you've lived in Arkansas before, or at least watched a show about their cuisine?
<Axe> I <Axe> do <Axe> not <Axe> know <Axe> where <Axe> family <Axe> doctors <Axe> acquired <Axe> illegibly <Axe> perplexing <Axe> handwriting; <Axe> nevertheless, <Axe> extraordinary <Axe> pharmaceutical <Axe> intellectuality, <Axe> counterbalancing <Axe> indecipherability, <Axe> transcendentalizes <Axe> intercommunications' <Axe> incomprehensibleness. <JediHobbes> woah <JediHobbes> *blinks*
<[TN]FBMachine> i got kicked out of barnes and noble once for moving all the bibles into the fiction section
Cap'n Steve: I have no girlfriend, no money, I live at home and work at Taco Bell, but my domains don't expire until 2014 and DAMN IT FEELS GOOD!
<Chobes> You there, Mr. Mercman2000? <Mercman2000> I'm talking with a chick. Piss off. <Chobes> Text recognition AI has gotten so advanced. <Mercman2000> This is ME. Mercman2000 you little Chobesey fuck. I am talking with a chick, this is the first non-postal related female contact I have gotten in for fucking never, so I don't care if your pubes are on fire and you need tech spit to douse the flames, whatever it is, IT CAN FUCKING WAIT. <Trunks> o.o <Chobes> omj poynt taken
<Jontler> feel my wrath ùíù Topic (#freebsd): changed by Jontler: derrich is mean derrich/#freebsd waits for the wrath <derrich> oh <derrich> wow <Jontler> yea whatup <derrich> as far as wrath goes <derrich> that's filed under the 'premature ejaculation' category
Hyp3rHax0r: haha, I feel stupid now Hyp3rHax0r: I went and installed this really powerful GBA developer kit, 208MB, and I figured I'd do all sorts of crazy C stuff Hyp3rHax0r: now I can't find the EXE to start it.
<Nefesis> I did stop smoking weed <Nefesis> I need my brain 24/24