<Deepsy`SilentHill4> my ex came with BitchX internally
intergrated.

<Dave_A> Raping Secial Ed Kids is Fucking Retarded.

<Mark_Ryan> those of you using mIRC, for a neat trick, hold
down shift and click the "#wikipedia" button up the top
<Slowking_Man> I'm betting that closes it.
<Mark_Ryan> nah it does a 3D animation
* Parts: neilc (~neilc@61.88.101.19)
* Parts: squash- (~squash-@051.b.005.mel.iprimus.net.au)
("Leaving")
* Joins: squash- (~squash-@051.b.005.mel.iprimus.net.au)
<squash-> it works on xchat too

(Deranged): I wanna get a job in a candy store putting fudge
into boxes.
(Deranged): That way, when people ask what I do for a living,
I can say I'm a fudge packer.

<doom-> i never seen a canadian battleship
<[C1RCA]> cuz we STEALTH NUGGA!'

* Now talking in #crimehackerz
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<snoldak> im so lonely

<PacerX> i made a kid stop crying today
<bemyfreak> awww, how sweet
<PacerX> i knocked him unconcious
<bemyfreak> WHAT

<janelle> i hate guys
<PacerX> hey, people can piss me off too, but i don't write
off their whole gnder
<PacerX> that would make me a feminist

<blanco> chicks dig ignorance
<blanco> but only as long as do it with an accent

mojo: oh my god that was the greatest ever
mojo: UPS guy was at my door delivering some stuff to me
mojo: and this guy from across the street was on the sidewalk
talking to him about a cell phone delivery or some nonsense
mojo: and the UPS guy says "crazy foreigner from across the
street keeps bothering me, i don't even think he has a house"
mojo: "he probably drives a taxi because he can't get a real
job"
mojo: and i smiled at him and said "yea. nothing at all like
driving a UPS truck." *SLAM*

<NightShade> hey Bamihap, lets do a singalong :D
<NightShade> The internet is really really great
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<NightShade> i got a fast connection, so i dont have to wait
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<NightShade> there's always some new site
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<NightShade> i browse all day and night
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<NightShade> its like surfing at the speed of light
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<Bamihap> WHY DO YOU THINK THE NET WAR BORN???
<Bamihap> PORN PORN PORN!!!!
<herr_flick> roflol
<NightShade> I'm glad we have this new technology
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<NightShade> which gives us untold opportunity
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<NightShade> from your own desktop, you can research browse
and shop
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<NightShade> untill you want to stop
<Bamihap> FOR PORN
<Bamihap> ALL THESE GUYS UNZIP THEYR FLIES
<Bamihap> FOR PORN PORN PORN
<herr_flick> lmao!!!
<Bamihap> SO GRAB YOUR DICK AND DOUBLE-CLICK
<Bamihap> FOR PORN PORN PORN!!!!
<NightShade> o.m.f.g. :D
<Bamihap> sorry shade, we masturbate ;)

R0ry » what shall i get my bro for his bday
R0ry » he's 25
bazmalti » an anal probe?
bazmalti » lol
R0ry » i said 25
R0ry » not german

DarkNeo: Pedophilia is like golf,
DarkNeo: you hit for the lowest you can
DarkNeo: It's all good till it gets to 18,
DarkNeo: then the fun stops.

::: Joins: STRAUSS
(Simmons@Kitchener-HSE-ppp3578448.sympatico.ca)
(STRAUSS) hey how do i change my quit message
(@Seriph) /quit message
(STRAUSS) ty
::: Quits: STRAUSS
(Simmons@Kitchener-HSE-ppp3578448.sympatico.ca): Quit: message
::: Joins: STRAUSS
(Simmons@Kitchener-HSE-ppp3578448.sympatico.ca)
(STRAUSS) ban Seriph!

<dragman> Did you know the legal age of consent in Canadia is
14?
<lockdown!> Interesting...all i need now is a cheap flight and
some deodorant
<lockdown!> I think Hollands has a low consent age as well
<dragman> Hehe.  You go that way, I go this way and we meet in
the middle.  Highest kiddy total wins £20
<lockdown!> The game is on

<MoonlightShadow> I'm exhausted and as a result of that, sick
<BlueTicona> pms moon
<MoonlightShadow> I do not have pms!
<BlueTicona> no
<BlueTicona> i mean pm's

<SJEZealot> You know your car is slow when it has a blue
circle with the letters F-O-R-D in it.
<Zoomzoom123> At least they circled the problem.

<berkley> that was wierd
<angled-diamond> berkley: what was?
<berkley> i walked into my friend's dorms room, and it was
empty. but the computer was on, and it showed some chic
getting it in the ass. so i closed the door and dropped my
pants. midway into wacking off and i noticed something
<microfform> ?
<angled-diamond> ?
<berkley> there were no girls...and u know whats sad?
<angled-diamond> that you finished jerking off?
<berkley> ...yes

<underground> someone grabbed my ass today in physics
<Ludvig> that's not too bad either
<Ludvig> unless it was a guy
<underground> ...i go to an all boys school

<[Cadaver]> There were three people on an airplane. One was
Thomas Jefferson. One was George Bush. And the last was Bill
Clinton. They opened up the airplane door and Thomas Jefferson
threw out a 100 dollar bill and said "I just saved a family!"
George Bush looked at Jefferson and then threw out 2 100
dollar bills. He then said, "I just saved TWO families!" Bill
Clinton looked at Thomas Jefferson then at George. He sighed
and pushed George Bush off the plane and said "I just saved
the world!" ^_^

<born1986> why the fuck isn't my disc drive working
<born1986> i fucking worked on that essay for three friggin'
hours in school
<born1986> i now i cant finish it 'cos my fuckin drive ain't
working
<Z00ass> you got the right drivers?
<born1986> hell yes
<born1986> it was working fine yesterday
<born1986> why does this shit always happen to me?
<Z00ass> maybe that little clip on the side is i nthe wrong
position
<born1986> i havent touched it since school
<born1986> i'm growing impatient
<born1986> ANGRY even
<Z00ass> throw that shit out tha window
. . .
<born1986> OMG i fuckin did it!!!
<born1986> FUCK!!!!!
<Z00ass> it works?
<born1986> no, i threw it out the window
<Z00ass> the disk?
<born1986> NO the whole drive
<born1986> i live on the 6th floor, made a nice *smash*
<Z00ass> :D
<born1986> FUCK SHIT FUCK
<born1986> THE DISK WAS STILL INSIDE
<born1986> brb
. . .
<born1986> shit
<Z00ass> what? did ya break it?
<born1986> well i couldn't open the drive
<born1986> so i had to pound it against a rock
<Z00ass> :o
<born1986> quite HARD
<born1986> and you know what?
<born1986> that fucking disk wasnt even there
<Z00ass> ???
<born1986> i got so mad i threw the remaiders of the drive on
to the freeway
<born1986> and when i got back upstairs i foud the disk inside
my bag
<Z00ass> lol
<born1986> I NEVER EVEN PUT IT IN THE DRIVE
<born1986> i'm actually cryin right now
. . .
<born1986> wonder if i could make that drive work again
<born1986> brb

(@Shockwave) Windows 3.11 calculator is broken in an amusing
way.
(@Shockwave) Put in 3.01 - 3 and it gives you 0, every time.
(@Shockwave) Hurray for flaws in MS's basic math table
(JIM_BOB7813) Well if you need a calculator to do that, you
deserve that answer :P

(oSiRuS) I'm 19 years old and I have absolutely NO experience
with women. Never had a kiss, never had a hug, never had so
much as a handshake, and I have no idea why.
(oSiRuS) I'm not a nerd. I don't have acne or glasses, I'm not
fat. There's really nothing wrong with me, I just can't
understand why I'm such a worthless candidate for dating.
(@KillJoy) try walking out of the front door

<y0da> if they took the porn of the internet there would only
be one website left and that would be
www.bringbackbacktheporn.com

FuzzyCrare: i'm in love with a video game character
Macross86: that's sad, pathetic, and completely understandable

PaladinPrince555: today at highschool therewere these little
punk ass 3 year old skater kids and they were trying to do
these tricks and shit and sammi sadi LAND IT! and the little
kid said SHUT UP! and i said shut up you little punk! i could
kick your little ass! and he said SHUT UP then i said watch
this and grinded the whole bench and they watched then the
little punk said.... oh yeah? WATCH THIS! and he tried to do
the same thing and he fell on his little punk ass
BentlyCadillac: ahh
BentlyCadillac: LMAO
BentlyCadillac: HAHAHAHAHA
BentlyCadillac: wait....he was 3?

<@Mord> u fucked yo momma last night shin
<@Mord> no...i mean i did
<@Mord> you did...
<@Mord> i mean the one thats most instulting :/
<+SHIN-SHIN> rofl

<tmb^work> even c64 can connect to the internet
<tmb^work> irc + web
<tmb^work> what do you need more?
<garg^work> porn :D
<triple> Porn.

<Ev> wow my roommates and i are so lazy, instead of gettting
up and going to the other's room to say good night we IM each
other good night that;s the Epitome of digital dependence

<Kathryn> y'know, its sad when you have to fake an orgasm
while masturbating

<Riley> Stop Rape, Say yes.

<^head^> A nine year old boy asks his mother, "Is God male or
female?"
<^head^> After thinking for a moment, his mother responds,
"Well God is both male and female."
<^head^> This confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God black or
white?"
<^head^> "Well," she says, "God is both black and white."
<^head^> This really confuses the boy, so he asks, "Is God gay
or straight?"
<^head^> Feeling a bit out of her depth, but wanting to be
consistent, the mother answers, "Honey, God is both gay and
straight."
<^head^> At this the boy's face lights up with understanding
and he triumphantly asks...
<^head^> "Is Michael Jackson God?"

<<p3ps1c4n>> I just killed a bee that was flying around my
kitchen.
<<sp0rkk>> omg, dude.. LOL!!
<<sp0rkk>> this one time, i caught a bee and put it in a cup
inside the freezer..
<<sp0rkk>> and then i took it back out, and tied a string to
it.. 'cause it was frozen so it wouldn't sting me..
<<sp0rkk>> and then it thawed out and came back to life.. so i
was like "whee!", walking around..
<<sp0rkk>> and then the fucker started chasing me around,
trying to sting me!
<<p3ps1c4n>> Rofl!
<<sp0rkk>> so i smashed it with a frozen block of bacon.
<<p3ps1c4n>> I fear for your cat.
<<sp0rkk>> dude, stfu.

-Global- Oops.

<ninevolt> I may not be Jesus but my penis gives women a
religous expereience.
<skittz> haha
<skittz> yeah
<skittz> it turns them into nuns

<apollyon> oh i'm so happy!
<apollyon> my girlfriend just told me she wants to dual boot!
<Nastard> is that geek for "see other people"?

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means
that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs
around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always
starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in
that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going
to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great
resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for,
but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your
resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants.
But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified
and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out,
we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will
never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to
complain about the person that we hired.

[jbroome] mandrake 10.1 Community is available for download
for the
common folk now.
[ jbroome] 'careful though, it's French
[ admiralfrijole] damn frenchies
[ jbroome] in installed SuSE on my network and the mandrake
box
surrendered
[ admiralfrijole] sheesh...terrible
[ jbroome] are you shitting me?  That's comedy gold right
there
[ fatstrat] ROFL!!!!!!!  love it!

Soren: man, the woman next door should put a muffler on her
vibrator
Svetlana3k: wow
Soren: it sounds like a lawnmower engine
Soren: and I dearly hope it is not

queenren24: i need your advice
queenren24: cause you're a guy and all
MrFluffyPants26: that I am
queenren24: what would you, as a guy, rather have for your
birthday or christmas: a video game or that axe stuff that
smells SOOO good?
MrFluffyPants26: Axe DOES smell good...
MrFluffyPants26: what video game?
queenren24: rome: total war
MrFluffyPants26: hm...
MrFluffyPants26: probably the game
MrFluffyPants26: but give him sexual favors too
MrFluffyPants26: can't go wrong with that
queenren24: :O
MrFluffyPants26: precisely

<Alluvium> They say if you play a Microsoft CD backwards, you
hear satanic messages. Thats nothing, cause if you play it
forwards, it installs Windows. :p

<+phlange> i said 'dhcp' and the tech support guy started to
cry and go 'i hate my job i hate my job i hate my job'

< CryptoCat> fucking oracle.
< CryptoCat> rhymes with horrible
< CryptoCat> I probably wouldnt hate it so much if Elison
wasnt such a nutjob.
< siglite> well, at least HE hates bill
< siglite> so that's some consolation
< CryptoCat> I dunno man
< CryptoCat> stalin hated hitler
< Kornchild> stalin was worse then hitler in many ways
< CryptoCat> yeah
< CryptoCat> hitler didnt want to buy Peoplesoft.

* Force| looks at the topic
*** Topic on #athlon is: Welcome to #longbus
<Force|> Wow!
<Force|> I'm finally on the long bus!!!

* conundrum takes over bos's mind and makes him buy a mac OS9
machine instead,
* conundrum also makes bos reformat and install BOB.
<SlipperyS> M$ bob?
<conundrum> Yes, is there any other?
<SlipperyS> hehe wtf was that program for anyway?
<bos> insulting your intelligence
<SlipperyS> I thought that was what windows was for...

kevin: what did you do tonight
Lucious: worked you?
kevin: haha no no, you didnt work me...i wouldve noticed

TheElevatorMan: That's the joy of Linux. You scream in pain
and agony the first time you do it, and then it's not so bad
every time after that.
TheElevatorMan: Geeze, it just sounded like I was describing
some sex act. :P

mygoth2000: so..how long does it take you to get over a girl?
: i dunno...depends on how big she is

<HF|CM_Krayakin> but come on bio, the chances of you getting a
girlfriend are what? 0?
<Biolution> no i had one in the sims
<Biolution> actually, i'm gonna go download the sims 2, that
way i can get lots of girlfriends
<Biolution> and i'm going to get the british version
<Biolution> that way the girls have that sexy brit accent when
they talk dirty to me
<HF|CM_Krayakin> they don't talk in the sims2
<Biolution> they will when i'm sitting alone simulbating

<zhevinakeer> I'm 3/4ths polish, 1/4th italian.  I can cook, I
can eat, and I DAMN well know how to put a screen door on a
submarine.