aznsmilingirl: if u had an accent, what would it be?
AgentScrewball: russian
AgentScrewball: because then i'd sound pissed no matter what i
say

<bill> Last time christ went to church, they killed him. What
makes you think he wants to return?

Elinstar: Have you ever really thought about a male lifeguard?
Elinstar: Think about a hot muscular guy just TEARING YOUR
SHIRT OFF in your time of need and pressing down on your chest
with his hot muscular arms and forcing his tongue down your
throat and blowing HIS AIR into YOUR LUNGS as he massages your
chest.
Elinstar: Not that I'm gay or anything but thats basically
what you're getting.
Centimetro: Wtf

<^Syke^> MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT SUICIDE
<^Syke^> :'(
<nelixx> dude
<nelixx> do it on webcam

<WhiteHowler> When did the Swedes get so good at Track and
Field?
<Cubby[history]> When someone put a keg at the end of their
lane.

<Navi> My mother (to brother): "If get fat enough, you can't
see your weenee."
<Navi> My brother (age 8): "BUT I CAN MAKE IT BIG!"
<Navi> I lost all hope, right there.

<Stryst> DSP-: You're an idiot, aren't you?
<DSP-> Stryst: only on days that end with a "y"
<Stryst> DSP-: In your world all days must end in 'y'.
<Stryst> Go away moron.

<%japaneseschoolgirl> china is beating USA in gold
<@||bass> it was tied this morning
<%japaneseschoolgirl> well still
<%japaneseschoolgirl> china is beating USA
<%japaneseschoolgirl> oh and USA lost in basketball
<%japaneseschoolgirl> to lithuania
<%japaneseschoolgirl> what the hell is lithuania
<@||bass> dude
<@||bass> dont sweat it
<@||bass> the olympics isnt over
<%japaneseschoolgirl> dont sweat it? USA lost in basketball.
<%japaneseschoolgirl> to LITHUANIA

<KTP> If I ever get a hot girl pregnant I'm going to hit her
stomach with a shovel
<KTP> And just start yelling "NO! BAD HOT GIRL!"
<KTP> Because thats how you have to treat them
<KTP> Or else they won't learn
<ib> That's cruel.  Isn't it bad enough that she's blind?

freezingplanet85: How long Is your robo wang?
SmarterChild: Very long.
freezingplanet85: Stupid bot.

<Saiyanfire> THINK ABOUT IT
<Saiyanfire> NORMAL PPL DONT GET OFF TO TOON FU*KING
<Nexus> u might be right......i'll stick to dragons...
<[256][FIN]HorribleGoat> WE'RE NOT NORMAL PEOPLE
<[256][FIN]HorribleGoat> now where did that horse go...

<Syzygy> My cock needed some fresh air
Vlad » OH
Vlad » that reminds me....
Vlad » brb

<pL|DarKobra> oO_
<pL|Kala-Raksha> OMG A MUTANT!

<weasel> she likes it when you touch her feet
<Zoidy> Im not touching no ones feet
<Zoidy> only my own
* jessica is now known as my_own
<my_own> touch me baby
<my_own> oooh yeah....

TransCanadaTrail: they keep refering to this asl character
J: dont make me reach through the computer and slap you >_<

<InuYasha> I have no friends
<InuYasha> FINE
<InuYasha> SCREW YOU GUYS
<-- InuYasha has quit (Exit: Do illiterate people get the full
effect of alphabet soup?)
<Urch> I give him a minute
<Urch> 3
<Urch> 2
<Urch> 1
--> InuYasha (thegreg@dm-33299.kc.rr.com) has joined #
bobandgeorge
<InuYasha> I forgot my wallet
* InuYasha grabs it
<-- InuYasha has quit (Exit: Do illiterate people get the full
effect of alphabet soup?)

<FrozenBeefLog> hey lets all make sexual symbols
<Slicey> 8==e
<FrozenBeefLog> 8======*
<FrozenBeefLog> hah mines bigger
<Slicey> yours has an exploded end

<Spydie> ive been playing games too much, when i close my eyes
i see gun fights
<NuGgEt|mIRC> i see naked men

<Sheena> me = ho
<Sheena> t
<Sheena> OMg...worse typo ever

<Syberia> FUCK i'm dead
<Syberia> i was flirting with this 15 y/o chick i met on halo
<Syberia> she went to use the little girls' room
<Syberia> her 11 y/o sis walked in and saw what she was doing
<Syberia> got her mom, who read the whole MSN convo
<Syberia> she starts talking to me, telling me her daughter's
only 12
<Syberia> you'd think she'd get pissed at her daughter but no,
now someone's mom who i don't even know in ohio now knows my
phone # and thinks i'm a pedophile
<SirChris> dude, chicks don't play halo

* nickname has joined #mp3friendschat
<nickname>  word
<+bobbbit10>  excel?
<+Davman>  rofl

DClick: I don't want your goddamn penis pills! I don't even
have a penis!

IAmOsomo4000: now who is stupid or non intellegeint now

omg omg wtf n00b: y'know what's hilarious?
omg omg wtf n00b: when people boast about what they do on the
internet
omg omg wtf n00b: "omg im so drunk right now i had like 20
captain morgans"
omg omg wtf n00b: and "omg im gonna get laid tonight its gonna
be amazing"
Americandude23: yeah.  thats why i dont use irc.

<mowgli> Nicolai why are your faces allways backwards?
<Nicolai> what? ._o
<Mertek> He's european. It seems like everyone I've ever met
from Europe has used backwards smileys.
<Mertek> There's no other way to do D: though.
<mowgli> : D
<Spazmo> :D != D:
<Spazmo> I got laid :D She had herpes D:

<Kanako> That's right kids. Unlike most of the Linux solutions
out there, Cinelerra requires no emulation of proprietary
operating systems, no commercial add-ons, no banner
advertizements, no corporate dependancies, no terrorists, just
pure, raw, hot blooded Linux boxes.
<Kanako> ^--- It does, however, require walking through hell,
fighting Satan himself, and saving the princess in the other
room.
<Neo1337> Just to find out the princess is in another
castle...

DaLady Firestorm: and drinking my tea
Laketh 69: teabag?
DaLady Firestorm: I like tea
DaLady Firestorm: and yes, there is a tea bag in my drink
right now
Laketh 69: lol
DaLady Firestorm: why do you ask
Laketh 69: .......
Laketh 69: teabag ;(
DaLady Firestorm: do I want to know
DaLady Firestorm: what's the fixation with teabag
Laketh 69: is when you stick your balls into a girls mouth
DaLady Firestorm: did you have a pet tebag...
DaLady Firestorm: ...ah...
DaLady Firestorm: okay, that explains it
DaLady Firestorm: ew...
Laketh 69: duh
Laketh 69: and u like teabags
DaLady Firestorm: I like tea
DaLady Firestorm: not the bags
DaLady Firestorm: or sacs
DaLady Firestorm: or whatever
Laketh 69: the bags make the tea
DaLady Firestorm: I like what comes out of the tea bags
DaLady Firestorm: oh, wait a second

<Kingsford> who is Psytrox?
<Turori> rejis's date
<Kingsford> an IRC date?
<Cockbill_Street> right
<Kingsford> you guys should go to #movies
<Kingsford> and then, out to #dinner
<Kingsford> and later, #backseatofthecar
<Rejistania> Are you implying that I should get a life?
<Cockbill_Street> you've found that out on your own. ;)

<Beta> WTF is an Acronym ?
<Zethy> yes it is...

Iridium24: well my lady friend seemed excited to get my number
so we'll see
DogmaticLaw99: lol
DogmaticLaw99: see what she looks like when youre sober
Iridium24: i was DD friday night
DogmaticLaw99: ahh
Iridium24: but i totally know what you mean
Iridium24: a year ago feb when i had just turned 21
Iridium24: omg i dont know what the fuck i was thinking
Iridium24: she had this GIANT birth mark across her face
DogmaticLaw99: lol
Iridium24: i didnt notice until i called her up the next day
and i picked her up for a date
Iridium24: i almost went "holy shit what happened to your
face!"
Iridium24: and then i saw some pictures and she has clearly
had it all her life
Iridium24: i was like omg, how many drinks did i have last
night!
DogmaticLaw99: thats sad bro
Iridium24: In conclusion i go to dance clubs sober now

(@[UGP]SirSteam) ITS ALL FUCKING FUNNY TIL YOU ARE MARRIED
(@[UGP]SirSteam) THEN THE LAUGHTER FUCKING ENDS GENTLEMEN
(@[UGP]SirSteam) BE WARNED
(@[UGP]SirSteam) oh hi honey i was just talkin to the gu
?? quit: ([UGP]SirSteam) (~ssmith@SirScoots.user.gamesnet)
(Read error: EOF from client)

<Revolution_Man> I want to be launched out of my coffin at my
funeral.
<RandomMan> hahah
<Inferno> Liar.
<Revolution_Man> With a tape recording attached to the body
saying "I'M STILL ALIVE, CATCH ME!"

<chewy> has anybody an idea where to get torrents of german
simpsons episodes?
<Whacko> germany

krlgol2: Microsoft has also managed to upset women and entire
countries. A Spanish-language version of Windows XP, destined
for Latin American markets, asked users to select their gender
between "not specified," "male" or "bitch," because of an
unfortunate error in translation.

<_dk-> I just grabbed a couple pretzels and sat down at the
computer... I bit in to one and realized that not only was it
stale, but I wasn't really all that hungry to begin with. But
I was too lazy to get up and toss them in the trash, so I ate
them anyway... I wonder just how many of the Seven Deadly Sins
that qualifies me for...

<ThaNoise> you know i saw something funny last night. an asian
guy wearing a jerry rice jersey. was it wrong of me to laugh
at an asian persion with "RICE" printed on the back of his
shirt?

* Quits: FuTar0 (Quit: and /part were sitting in a tree and /
part fell off, who was left?)

<@NeoMinder> Hey cloud! Get off my you!
<nightrunner> You ate paint chips as a kid, didn't you?
<@NeoMinder> you mean wall candy?

Ross81: my fingers smell like pussy for some reason
Battlepoet: uh
Ross81: I wonder if mcdonalds has added different spices to
their friends and mcnuggets
Battlepoet: o.0
Ross81: fries rather
Battlepoet: good thing I've got wendy's coming instead

(long conversation about a problem goes here)
<Yttak> So, what you want me to do now ? It still doesnt work
!!!
<TheMTZ> ok - i got the ultimate solution for you now - it
will solve it 100 pct.
<Yttak> Cool, tell me !
<TheMTZ> Unplug all the cords, put the PC back into the box
and bring it back to where you bought it.
<Yttak> You mean its broken ? What should i tell them when
they ask ?
<TheMTZ> Tell them you are too god damn stupid to own a
computer and get the money back.
* Quits: Yttak (Yttak@xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx)

<Nique> *eyes spam* 'Supersize your penis.' Does that come
with fries?
<kymscrazy> I want a chocolate shake with mine.
<Foenix> I just want no lettuce.
* GeekRyuu (Ryuu@12.5.124.207) has joined #subcafe
<GeekRyuu> Hi!
<GeekRyuu> How is every little thing?
<Foenix> We were just talking about supersizing them.

<D1> ugh
<D1> they put me on lithium!
<sorbix> did they perscribe you batteries
<D1> not yet.
<D1> but who knows what they'll give me next time.

<imanz> sorry about my server il get it up
* absynthe wonders where she's heard THAT before...

<tegu> WANNA PLAY IRC TIC TAC TOE?
<tegu> 1 2 3
<slip> K
<tegu> 4 5 6
<tegu> 7
<tegu> erm
<slip> LOL
<tegu> 1 2 3
<tegu> 4 5 6
<tegu> 7 8 9
<tegu> you go first
<slip> 1
<tegu> 5
<tegu> UR TURN
<slip> 4
<tegu> 7
<slip> 3
<tegu> 2
<slip> 9
<tegu> 8 gg
<slip> gg

<_blackcat> in the bash how do I get it so that it will show
the all the dirs in a different color?
<octalpuss> i believe that's the --gay option

310||slackerr: man, they shut off the water in our building
310||slackerr: its gonna be off the entire day
510||joey: that SUCKS@
310||slackerr: the worst part is that i took a shit before i
knew it was off

<EvolvEarth> /nickserv identify iloveanal
<EvolvEarth> FUCK
<kupo> How did you know my password?!

isotec: so my dad decides to be nice and put a chocolate on
top of my LCD monitor (its one of thoes ones with booze in it
isotec: so i come by l8r and im like cool
isotec: i pick it up as as i do so it starts to drip on the
top of the monitor and some booze leaks out
isotec: im thinking well that was totaly smart dad now i have
whisky or somthing and chocolate oozing around up there
isotec: but im like hey cant let that chocolate go to waste
isotec: i start to lick up the tasty mess and when im in mid
lick my dad walks in and is like "Jesus son, i know you many
like your computer but this is just rediculous!"

<[foreel]Torisutamu> Warning!
<[foreel]LagginTimes> Warning: The following commercial may
not be suited for young children.
<[foreel]LagginTimes> Tired of watching college girls run
around like morons and take off their clothes?
<[foreel]LagginTimes> Of course you're not!
<[foreel]Torisutamu> Tired of those same old girls at those
same beaches? We thought not!
<[foreel]Torisutamu> Fucker beat me to it

[sides] the other day my aunt and cousins were over my house
for the night and them and my family were in the living room
[sides] some how we started talking about pamela anderson. my
sister was like "well it's not like she's in porn or anything"
[sides] and they were all arguing over if she's in porn or
not.
[sides] I wasn't really paying attention because I was trying
to fix my dad's computer, which is in the same room. but I
heard them talking about porn so I listened up
[sides] and when my sister said "no she's never been in a real
porn or anything"
[sides] I spoke up and said "oh yes she has!"
[sides] everyone looks at me funny and I hadn't realized what
I did wrong yet and my dad's like "how do you know that?"
[sides] so I just got up and went upstairs.