Kult Radio: So I was with this girl
Kult Radio: She said "Give me eight inches and make it hurt"
Kult Radio: So I fucked her twice and hit her in the head with
a brick.

<Reliken> AIM is like the ugly chick who gives SUCH good head,
and works sooooooo well. MSN is like the typical hot blonde.
Gorgeous, but you can't communicate with her. Yahoo! is the
creepy guy whacking off in the corner that no one likes, and
Trillian is the average looking bisexual male.

<+Celestar> there was some gun with a warning:"When shooting
on people, clothing may be damaged"

<cyan> You know what would suck?
<cyan> If an accident happened and you had to dial 911, but
you have dyslexia.

Jukeboksi has quit ["IF IT WERE POSSIBLE, THESE LETTERS WOULD
BE EVEN BIGGER"]

<|HashBot|> Geography: Name a country which has the same name
as a bird?
<jms> soctland
<jms> ireland
<jms> wales
<jms> kuait
<|HashBot|> Here's a hint: t**k*y
<jms> tuckey
<|HashBot|> The answer was turkey. Try and get the next one...
<jms> wtf

Osaka> There's no room to be deppressed anymore.
Osaka> I'd angst, but you'd all go to the "Emo" routine.
Osaka> What am I to do, bottle my emotions?
CodenameROFL> yes.
Osaka> ...
Osaka> Teh world = Teh suck
CodenameROFL> YOU'RE NOT BOTTLING!!!!
Osaka> Code, you suck.
CodenameROFL> :P
CodenameROFL> I know
Osaka> Well, suck elsewhere.
CodenameROFL> ...
CodenameROFL> If I could do that, do you think I'd be lurking
on the internet?
Osaka> Nuff said.

<RuKK> people bitched at me to learn a foreign language so I
learned perl

<demios>Nothing is quite so disturbing as looking under your
parents' bed and finding a box labelled "extra-stretchy cock
ring"

<+Nobody> Stephen Stack and James Gundlach were awarded the
2004 Ignobel Award for their paper The Effect of Country Music
on Suicide that links the suicide rate to the amount of
country music played on the radio
<+private_meta> hmm... if they would play country music in the
radio i would commit suicide too... so whats so phenomenous on
that paper?

<RedLeader> So you like ju-jitsu tonight?
<Cigz> Yea, it was fun but I prefer my judo
<RedLeader> why, you think all of that throwing people around
is cooler?
<Cigz> Ya damn right, the laddies love that stuff
<RedLeader> ...
<Cigz> shit, LADIES
<RedLeader> ba HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<Cigz> look, let's just keep this our little secret, alright?
<RedLeader> Sure dude, don't worry about it ;)
<Cigz> you bastard....

<leif> well I used to go to a "special" school for troubled
kids, so our classes were really easy and pretty dumb. One of
them was "work study" and I remember one day a few kids were
playing jenga on the main "study" table, and i got the most
exellent idea to grab a small model plane from the teachers
desk, throw it at the blocks, then after they fell over I
shouted " HEY GUESS WHO I AM?!?!".... 
<leif> That's why i'm home schooled now :-(

<d-dog> know any thing that stops acne oh great kurty
<kurty> uh yeah
<kurty> finishing puberty

<Casualty-> i did weed once, fuck that shit
<Casualty-> and pot once
<CAL-bf|Russ> Weed was amazing
<eI|Katie> casualty...
<eI|Katie> weed = pot
* emolithic|Icon_class has joined #gxl
<Casualty-> err
<Casualty-> not pot
<Casualty-> cocaine
<Meta474> hahaha
<Meta474> Nerd.

*** DickHead5 was kicked by TJ32 (3.80265176 × 10^-09 millenia
long ban. (394 Served.))
TJ32 sets mode: +b *!*java@*.cos2.cable.ntl.com
<@DrLavaGoddess> LMAO
<@DrLavaGoddess> Now that's funny
<WhoaOutOfControl> Haha
<WhoaOutOfControl> how long is that ban
<@TJ32> 2 minutes.

<adidasdood> anyone smallville 403 yet?
<spacerat> verbs, dude, verbs
<spacerat> that sentence clearly requires a verb

<TorpedoDog> well whats your take on the whole refugee bit
then?
<MalcomX> sailings not the fastest way to get places

<LegCow> he's about as funny as aids
<`Sage> HAHA AIDS! HAHAHHA!
<`Sage> LOOK AT THAT CUNT DIE! HAHAHA
<`Sage> HEY! HOWS YOUR IMUNE SYSTEM? OH? DONT HAVE ONE?
HAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHA

<GaronSemi> The media players of the future will -kill you- if
you associate their filetypes with another program.

<r0y_g3rb1l> police stations are clubs for thick-skulled short
dicked racist gun-nuts that took every civil-ass test they
could because no one else hires people that put "former nigger
beater" on their resume.

<konfuzed> i'm at this lan party...
<konfuzed> most of the others are downstairs, drinking.
<konfuzed> now they've all got goatse as their background
image.

<SKS> Hey, type lana backwards.
<LadyGrace> SKS, anal?
<SKS> Yes, please.
<WhoaOutOfControl> Hey SKS, type cips backwards.
<SKS> spic
* SKS was kicked by Anubis- (Racist language detected (4 hour
ban) -- (207 served))
<WhoaOutOfControl> Teehee
<rancid_alan> What an ass.

< [Syntax]> woah, I just cracked open my fortune cookie and it
was dead on..
< Feenyx> how so?
< jonnyv> "you will eat a cookie"?

<seekm> this was a call someone had that i was helping them
with
<seekm> "is you caps lock key on?"
<seekm> "i think so, the keyboard is in all capital letters"

<whitay> i just wanna kill mysql
<whitay> myself*
<heaika> that's an odd warning..
<whitay> mmm stupid reflex typing

<JonnyCash> man i was having this bad dream about driving piss
drunk but then i woke up from it
<JonnyCash> well i had to because the light turned green

<WooWoo> i was walking through goodwill with my daughter to
look for costume ideas and there was this stuffed trout adn i
gave it to her, adn literally, she smacked me with it and
laughed
<WooWoo> and i'm like.
<WooWoo> omfg
<WooWoo> she just trout slapped me
<WooWoo> wtf
<WooWoo> she's not on irc
<WooWoo> it was all big too
<WooWoo> like 3 feet long

gentoogod: omg dude
gentoogod: today i might the stupidest 3 people i ever met
gentoogod: thier 3 brains combined couldnt solve the dilemma
they faced today
siral21: what was it
gentoogod: ok before i say this
gentoogod: 100% true, not one second of a lie
gentoogod: this lady went into mcdonalds today and ordered a
big mac for her
gentoogod: and ordered 2 mcgrittles one for each kid. one had
bacon one without
gentoogod: her sons are around 18 or 19 so not infants
gentoogod: she went to the counter furious cause the son that
wanted bacon has no bacon on his and the one that didnt want
bacon has bacon on his
gentoogod: i fell on the floor beside her and couldnt stop
laughing
gentoogod: so i finally stood up and asked her to repeat,
thinking maybe shes drunk
gentoogod: i swear to god she looked at me straight faced and
repeated it. and her 2 sons were beside her mad that they
didnt get the order they wanted

<Siege>: Omg theres this really hot girl at my school.
<WarHawk>: Aww. Siegebear is in wuv.
<Siege>:Everytime she smiles i wanna cum all over her face.
<WarHawk>: Whoa

<tadpoleofdeath> Why do so many math majors confuse Halloween
and Christmas?
<elfking> why?
<tadpoleofdeath> Because Oct 31 is Dec 25

<SnowBlind> We need to get that professor who mutated Oranges
to have THC, so that Bacon has THC.
<^goat^> mmmmm potbacon
<SnowBlind> GET HIGH WHILE YOU FRY!
<LynchHung> lol
<SnowBlind> We'll call it JAMAICAN BACON!
<Gazoo> Oranges have THC?

<@dawoker> my manager dropped by and told me to stop using
things like "my president is an assclown" in string testing
for some of our code.

<Managore> Heh.. All I ever drink is cock and fanta.
<Managore> FUCK
<Apocalypse> !!!ROFLMAO!!! ..Freudian slip eh??
<Managore> NO
<Managore> FUCK
<Managore> SHIT
<Managore> FUCK
<Managore> FUCK

<@Casper> Girl from work and I went to the pool hall
<@Casper> I asked her if she wanted to start talking
<@Casper> She said we would talk about it tomorrow
<@Casper> She has a nice looking sister too
<@cypher> start talking about what?
<@Casper> going out
<@cypher> people _plan_ relationship status?
<Vehementi> not only do they plan relationship status, they
plan *talking* about relationship status.
<Vehementi> later in the relationship this is more commonly
known as the "Let's talk about our relationship" trap
<@cypher> Vehementi: <3
<sh> $relationship->discuss();
<sh> new Relationship;

<Cyb> heh this guy I knew in high school forgot to write an
english paper until like the day before it was due and it was
supposed to be a work of fiction a couple pages long
<Cyb> so he wrote down the half-life sp story
<Cyb> and stretched it out as much as he could
<Cyb> and got an A

<ColdRage687> do you like psychiatry
<Avs4Cup2K3> my mom's a psychiatrist
<ColdRage687> i dont
<ColdRage687> i used to think the brain was the most
fascinating part of the body
<ColdRage687> but then i realized
<ColdRage687> pssssh
<ColdRage687> look whats telling me that

<sic1> so you tried to go home
<sic1> and it wouldn't start?
<sp4nk> Indeed.
<sp4nk> I wish I knew a thing or two about cars.
<sp4nk> I wonder if there's a troubleshooter online that's
like Microsoft's thing.
<sp4nk> Problem: My car will not start.
<sic1> HAHAHA
<sp4nk> Suggestion: Have you tried turning the key?
<sp4nk> [ ] Yes, this solved the problem.
<sp4nk> [x] No, the car still will not start.
<sp4nk> This troubleshooter is unable to solve your problem.

<lh> oh shit
<lh> started pickin my nose
<lh> then realised i got like my webcam on to 7 ppl

<Bilbo>: Pac Man time!
<Bilbo>: < ............. M
<Bilbo>: < ........ M
<Bilbo>: < . M
<Bilbo>: ^
<Bilbo>: Oops. I died.

<cbatoday> my friend walked in on me having sex on his bed
last night
<Nemoso> was he pissed?
<cbatoday> well yea, it was with his girlfriend :

cpufreak04: Fun fact.
cpufreak04: Take 'HAL' from 2001: A Space Odyssey
cpufreak04: And move every letter one letter forward (Y=Z, X=
Y)
cpufreak04: What do you get?
MavAntagonist: g_k
cpufreak04: FORWARD.
MavAntagonist: oh....IBM!
MavAntagonist: OMG!

<worstazn> yo i need to find a new bitch..
<mejmanyme> k i have a plan
<mejmanyme> you running windows or linux?
<worstazn> winxp....
<mejmanyme> k, hit start and then "run"
<mejmanyme> type in "cmd"
<mejmanyme> after commandprompt opens
<mejmanyme> type currentbitch /release
<mejmanyme> then currentbitch /renew
<mejmanyme> now type currentbitch /all and send the results

Rain Complex: That was depressing Drew
Rain Complex: Please hold while I stab myself to death
BLUeTalon24: ok
BLUeTalon24: hurry back
Rain Complex: Okay, I'm back
BLUeTalon24: wb!
Rain Complex: I went to Hell ):
BLUeTalon24: that musta sucked
Rain Complex: Thank you
Rain Complex: Yes
Rain Complex: Well I'm still there
Rain Complex: They have computers!
BLUeTalon24: they have AIM too?
Rain Complex: They're 133s running only WinNT and AOL
BLUeTalon24: with spyware galore
Rain Complex: And pop-up makers
Rain Complex: Bootlegged Britney Spears WMAs playing in fast
forward 24/7
BLUeTalon24: haha WMA is evil
Rain Complex: Linux users are crying everywhere
Rain Complex: And all the Mac people jumped into the pit of
fire and sulfur
Rain Complex: The keyboards are DVORAK
BLUeTalon24: hahaha
Rain Complex: They only have trackballs
Rain Complex: And tape-drives
Rain Complex: 4.25 floppy drives that don't work
BLUeTalon24: left handed single click dirty rolling ball mice
with no scroll wheel.
Rain Complex: No scroll wheels for thousands of miles, my
friend

<Cheese> I'm going to Visit Canada one day anyway :/
<microburn> Cheese, we'll go drinking.
<Cheese> microburn, not until I'm like 23/24 ;s
<Cheese> What would be funny is
<Cheese> if we all still talk
<microburn> Cheese, : That would be sad if stayed on IRC for 8
more years talking to you all.
<Cheese> :s
* microburn commits suicide.
<Cheese> 8?
<microburn> I have 8.
<microburn> I'm 16.
<Cheese> microburn, I can't see a day when we still don't come
on IRC
<Cheese> we might have graphics then
<microburn> Graphics?
<muert0> yeah me dancin naked in a box to your left
* microburn quits IRC, now.

<@Kamui> whats a flamewar without music?
<@Kamui> xD
<Br0thershin> Religion.

<@drift_nax> i had 2 options
<@drift_nax> close the porn
<@drift_nax> or pull up my pants

<sticker> Scientists have recently dicsovered that most women
will, at some time in their life, contain small amounts of
intelligent DNA.
<sticker> Unfortunately for a large majority of females, this
is only a temporary state, as over 95% of them will SPIT IT
OUT!!!
<sticker> lmao
<ShadowHunter> rofl
<MrSupreme> rofl, good one
<CouldItBe> lmao nice one sticker

MynameisTim <Joins>
MynameisTim:  Oh my fucking god, I was just whacking off and I
have these crazy lumps on my coozer I think they are warts,
anyway I'm sitting there ALMOST at climax when BOOM! one pops
and coats my face with pus
MynameisTim:  so what are you guys up to?

<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>wanna cyber?
<shiroi>sure
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>ok, i move close to u
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>i start rubbin your chest and unbutton your
pants
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>..
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>hello?
<shiroi>hmm? oh..er. Yea cool.
<AnGeLcAkE-14fFA>u suck at this
<shiroi>I suck? You're the one signing on to irc with your asl
in your nick looking for a lovelife. You suck at life.
<shiroi> You're probably not even a girl.
AnGeLcAkE-14fFA has quit IRC. (Quit)
<shiroi>Damnit, I'll never get a net gf at this rate :(

<@asym> I bet rob zombie would win the election if he came on
TV and said "elect me or I will open the gates of hell."