<Matilde> Hiroshima '45, Nagasaki '45, Chernobil '86, Windows
'95

(Angelus): If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand
grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe
it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they
are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.

<@shiwan> Hmm. I need to find a "Windows NT Server 4.0 System
Administrator" t-shirt to wear around to BDSM clubs.
<@shiwan> "So, what are you into?" "I admin a 3-tiered,
12-node NT4 cluster."
< XyZzY> shiwan: "oh youre in the 'sick fuck' territory"

<princessangelic> how do you turn on a guy?
<+monty> dicksuck
<princessangelic> um before that
<+monty> get naked
<princessangelic> then?
<+monty> dicksuck
<princessangelic> hmmm I must have missed a memo somewhere
<jomomma> hahahahaha

<Zee-sleep> i got full marks for answering "what would
encryption be used for?" with "KFC's 11 secret herbs and
spices"

<+Disasterologist> wtf why does nobody ever convert to judaism
on their death beds?
<@Locke> they cant make money as they're dying

<NobleArc> There's always google, WhiteBicycle.
<NobleArc> Google is like.. The Oracle from The Matrix. O_o
<NobleArc> it knows EVERYTHING.
<WhiteBicycle> good call noble
<NobleArc> Yet at times can be unimaginably useless.

<Node> i think the person who came up with the a b c d f
grading scale failed english

<Hylke> hmm, the movie Titanic isn't really realistic
<Palantyre> No shit?
<Hylke> they walk through cold water all the time, and the
girl gets no stiff nipples

<BOYD1981> you know, i hate it when a channel suddenly goes
quiet after a debate
<BOYD1981> it's like masturbating, and when you're finally
about to ejaculate you hear somebody entering the house
<BOYD1981> or walking up the stairs
<BOYD1981> so you have to put it away until later
<BOYD1981> another reason i hate it is because you never know
if it's because nobody has anything to say, or somebody took
what was said a little too seriously and is sitting there a
bit pissed off
<BOYD1981> show me an argument/debate/disagreement i haven't
seen before and maybe, just maybe i might get a little pissed
off
<BOYD1981> i'm more likely to get pissed off by something
pissing me off
<BOYD1981> like developer and publisher and
hellotomyfriendsandfamilyer logo animations before a game
loads
<BOYD1981> and it even gets on my nerves before a movie
<BOYD1981> especially if it's on a dvd that won't let you skip
it or go straight to the menu
<BOYD1981> to me that's propaganda, it's forcing you do watch
something you don't want to
<BOYD1981> ofcourse you can't put your hands over your ears
and close your eyes, because then you might miss the start of
the movie, accidentally hit the skip back button instead of
rewind and force yourself into being forced to watch the logos
again
<BOYD1981> or you could watch the movie once, time how long it
takes for the menu to appear or the movie to start, then turn
around and face a clock, put your hands over your ears and
count the seconds
<BOYD1981> but then if somebody walks in on you they'll wonder
why you're ignoring what the clock is trying to tell you
that's preventing you from watching the movie
<BOYD1981> so it's either watching something you're against,
or having people think you talk to clocks
<BOYD1981> ofcourse you could do the same counting method, but
turn the tv on to a different channel for a certain amount of
time
<BOYD1981> but then somebody might walk in just as soon as you
change the channel and think you were watching porn or the
mobo awards or something like that
<BOYD1981> or, you could do the same but with the tv off
<BOYD1981> but then if somebody walks in and sees you sitting
there with the dvd player running, the tv off and you with the
remote in your hand that you've forgotten which button turns
the tv on

<Ale> they are closing down both streets that access my house
(I live on a city street conrer)
<Apaul> You live on a street corner?
<Apaul> Work there too? :)
<Ale> Yes, I do
<Ale> shit

<rich3> freebasing is when you don't wear underwear, right?

<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus is created when you masturbate in
the bath and your sister falls pregnant by then bathing in the
same water.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus would blind and cripple random
people. And give them leprosy.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus crucified the entire Roman Empire.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus makes you die for his sins.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus can sink in water.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus can turn wine into water.
<Dharkbayne> Reverse Jesus dares you to stone whores if you're
sinner.
<Dharkbayne> He was born in a cave on Easter and was killed in
a shootout on Christmas eve when three kings finally tracked
him down for outstanding debts of gold and spices.

KabeDerlin05: Bring it on. I have a level 19 Weapon Master
that can kick your ass
KradenTalcaria: ...
KradenTalcaria: brb
KabeDerlin05: Yeah that's right! Run Away! Just like your
mother did when she saw my huge dick!
Auto response from KradenTalcaria: Mom's using the computer.
Be back in a few.

<Baybee_Gurl> that wuz so awesome last night
<Baybee_Gurl> i had a great time
<SiCkNeSsS> says:  yea... me too
<Baybee_Gurl> if you're interested i'm willing to do it again
;)
<SiCkNeSsS> mm hmm
<Baybee_Gurl> yea
<Baybee_Gurl> ...
<Baybee_Gurl> is something bothering you?
<Baybee_Gurl> because your acting weird
<SiCkNeSsS> it's nothing
<Baybee_Gurl> tell me
<SiCkNeSsS> dont worry 'bout it
<Baybee_Gurl> tell me plz
<Baybee_Gurl> plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
<Baybee_Gurl> .........
<Baybee_Gurl> come on just tell me
<Baybee_Gurl> i wont care
<SiCkNeSsS> fine if you put it that way
<Baybee_Gurl> okay so tell me!!
<SiCkNeSsS> if you fucking get pregnant i am so dumping your
ass
<Baybee_Gurl> .....

<Davus> Earth - The only place people that don't use condoms
use computer anti-virus software.
<Davus> Ah, the priorities.

[Lex_Talion] if the english language was good enough for our
lord jesus christ, then it should be good enough for everybody
else!

Safia: your just sittin there watching me?
Sean: No I have creepy music playing too

[Filefront|Juice] the french version of halo 2's campaign mode
is only 1 minute long. Master chief lands on the earth and the
covenent surrender

Arteryman92089: does Wyoming have a baseball team?
MoocluckRULES: wait, people live in wyoming?
Arteryman92089: thats the thing. im not sure

(*)Embers(*): should i ask jonny this---
(*)Embers(*): ok so i know we haven't known each other
for long and I really shouldn't be asking you
for
this..... but I want it so bad don't get me
wrong it's
just that I haven't had it for a long time I
could
already feel it going in so hard and coming out
so soft
and wet. No one has to know about this, I'm
desperate,
but your help can be very grateful!!!
(*)Embers(*): you must think I have a lot of nerve
asking you for this but I can feel my tongue
around it
sucking all the juice out until there no more
left, this
has been on my mind all day long and I hope I'm
not
being forward but.... can I have a piece of gum?
Sarah: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

<Rostam> 1 in 4 girls has problems with incest at home
<Rostam> that sickened me
<Shrap|Wal> the others 3 are fine with it ?

<eviltown103> one time my friend was having ass sex wiht his
gf in the living room
<eviltown103> and when they were done....she dropped one on
the carpet
<eviltown103> then his parents came home
<eviltown103> it ant biog
<eviltown103> just a little thing
<eviltown103> but
<eviltown103> they ran out leaving it there
<eviltown103> when the parents c it
<eviltown103> they take the dog to the vet and put it to sleep
<STLFX0> LMFAOROFL

<WDeranged> i just had a chickhan dinnhar and 4 hours of
entertainment brought to me
<WDeranged> sometimes life is nice
<patrick``> macdonalds happy meal with a free toy?

<peer> Bad timing is when you are running late and you get all
the red lights
<+FyreDaug> Nah, bad timing is what happened yesterday
<+FyreDaug> One of my girl friends was over and she asked me
to do something and I was doing something on my computer
already so I said "just gimmie another sec"
<+FyreDaug> and shes like "aw cmon I've given you lots of secs
already!"
<+FyreDaug> as my mom was walking upstairs where the computer
room is. She just looked at me funny and walked away

<Asmodai> I spy with my little eye something beginning with
([a-zA-Z0-9].*)

<M[at]> know what I hate?
<M[at]> when you download shrek 2, and find its in german
<M[at]> then download it again and get it in french
<M[at]> then download it again and finding its a different
film
<M[at]> then do you know whats worse?
<M[at]> when you download debbie does dallas
<M[at]> and get the english version of shrek 2 :(

<Dubious|Laptop> gotta go give a training session on Cisco. 
lates.
<{pdX}aldawg> isn't cisco a form of oil they sell at
supermarkets
<Dubious|Laptop> thats Crisco.  Its not often that you find
someone who is both technology and culinary-impaired, but you
have shattered that paradigm.
* {pdX}aldawg has quit IRC (Quit: )

[ Parroflex ] I have a badass hangover.
[ @Ashley ] Don't drink so much next time.
[ Parroflex ] Thank you for that, Ashley.
[ Parroflex ] Ow.
[ @Ashley ] You're very much welcomed.
[ @David ] Have a few shots to numb the pain
[ Parroflex ] Thank you for that entirely unhelpful advice,
David.
[ @David ] You won't feel any pain with no head.
[ Parroflex ] Owowow. There is a medieval re-enactment going
on inside my head.
[ Parroflex ] Fat geeks with cardboard armour are arguing
about what type of swords they'd have had back then.

<MO-Pantsu> dentist gave me a temp crown and a HUGE lump of
filling to hold it on. now I can feel the pain starting as the
painkiller wears off and my jaw don't sit straight. In fact
the temp crown is like sharp and shitty and I could bite my
tongue off with it.
<karaipantsu> Why?  Linkin Park's music is awesome.  Their
Lyrics leave a lot to be desired, but I don't put much stock
in lyrics
<Cidsa> yeah
<Cidsa> i like the music a lot
<Cidsa> the guitar
<karaipantsu> I like their reliance on more non-rock related
instruments.
<karaipantsu> Like Pro audio and piano
<Cidsa> yea
<Chimerasame> i just got my conversations crossed
<Chimerasame> i'm like "what the how does dentistry involve
Pro audio"
<Chimerasame> i guess they can blast your plaque off with
sound
<Cidsa> yeah
<Cidsa> they use a air blaster thing too
* MO-Pantsu whimpers
<Chimerasame> <dentist> "CRAAAAAAAAAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIN"
<tartar> well fuck this, i'm leaving

<Saaj> gah! shit my ears are blocked :/
<^xexeh> swallow
<Saaj> swallow what?

({emily}): ACK! Amazon.com's gold box offer today contains CSE
Natural Menopause Relief
({emily}): wtf?!
(Gwydion-): O.o
({emily}): then deodorant
({emily}): so I'm smelly and old.  lovely.
({emily}): and oooh, a yoga mat.
({emily}): smelly, old, and out-of-shape
({emily}): where do I put in my credit card number?

<@Terror> "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of
a battlefield."
<@cky> opposite over hypotenuse
<@cky> dipshit

<@Weirdbot> Question 11 of 12: Where is it illegal for
chickens to cross the street?
<+Evil_Chipmunk> crawford, texas
<+Evil_Chipmunk> ...
<+Evil_Chipmunk> aw, why not... everything else that's come
out of there has been retarded.

* peer has quit IRC (Killed (genome (consider your connection
reset!)))

<Booster> whyd you get a mac?
<Nick> I have conqured the PC
<Nick> just wanted to try it out
<Booster> you got it cause you were bored?
<Booster> thats like saying "ive mastered walking with 2 legs"
so you cut one off

<@[S]W|Supey|Around> what the fcuk? a DVD enlargement system?
did my two spam senders mix their titles?

<green> We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are
sick freaks.
<Frank> How can vegetarians possibly love the environment..
you keep eating all the fucking plants

<Crac|ked> So anyway my griendfriend came over last night and
like i was playing CS and not paying her any attention,
<Crac|ked> so like she silently slid under my desk and undid
my pants and gave me oral -
<Crac|ked> to cut a long story short after i was done, she
looked up at me and said:
<Crac|ked> "You do realise i just gave you a geeks fanatasy -
CS and a blow-job!"
<RoCkYTrAiL> lol.
<JimmyBoy> I don't think that's a good fantasy...
<JiveHut> FAG!!!
<RoCkYTrAiL> fag!
<Treader> homo
<JimmyBoy> :(

<Innkeeper> ===== Question 15588/19999  =====
<Innkeeper> What is the first book of the Bible
<Innkeeper> Hint: @@@@@@@
<looloo> genocide

Be1ial: remember the old arcade games that had a message from
the president about saying no to drugs?
Krizkor: haha yeah.
Krizkor: because of that blue screen before mortal kombat, i
stayed off drugs.
Krizkor: but unfortunately, i began pulling people's spines
out.

<Rachel> 15. Mycophobia is the fear of?
<Vaen> MY COCK
<Skylar> small things
<Vaen> fuck you

<_chaos> The world will be perfect when you can log
conversations from real life.
<_chaos> For example if a man denies sleeping with another
woman his wife can just check the logs.
<_chaos> And the only way to cheat is if you had admin powers
to edit the logs... like me. heh :)
<CCDude> or i could kick your nerdy ass and make you do it for
me
<_chaos> Then you would be arrested after they checked the
logs!
<CCDude> shit
<CCDude> your still a fucking nerd
<_chaos> And your still an idiot. :D

<Dogan> Just try and imagine michael jackson as a football
player
<Samurai> ....
<Samurai> All that i'm going to say to that is:
<Samurai> the touchdown dances would be insane

JstWnnaHveFuN08: do you think i should call a guy friend and
talk to him about my problems? or will he not care?
Thilo: Here's how it works: if a guy helps you with your
problems, you're obligated to give him a blowjob.
JstWnnaHveFuN08: lol thanks that cheered me up
Thilo: No problem. That'll be one blowjob please.

MycenaeSC2K4: Sigmund Freud once thorized that all male
children have, at one point or another, want to have sex with
their mothers.
MycenaeSC2K4: Now, one might think "OMG WTF?!"
MycenaeSC2K4: Until they get a look at Freud's mom...
Surfrider132: uhh, yeah
MycenaeSC2K4: Holy fuck, I'd want that!!

* halocy goes for laundry like the good house-bitch she is
[a few mins later]
<halocy> my bf's socks are all kinda ... crunchy
<halocy> wtf?
<halocy> his feet must sweat a lot
<rvrsl> haha
<smashi> ew
<smashi> hehe
<smashi> are you sure it's
<smashi> SWEAT!
* smashi giggles
<halocy> what else would it be?

<randomnine> i bet the internal age variable is protected
<randomnine> it's always accessible to anything that inherits
<Entrope> i can understand making getAge() protected or
private, but there should definitely be a public isLegal()
function

<Advocate> n00bface, in other words, die a virgin?
<n00bface> id rather just think of hot 50 year old fat virgin
bosses
<n00bface> yes, i said hot fat.
<Advocate> ......................
<Advocate> Chubbychaser
<n00bface> at least i can catch them
<Fubar\anime> rofl
<Advocate> ...
<Advocate> rofl

HitMan: have you ever played that game "Taboo" ?
Spanky: nope
Spanky: don't think I've ever heard of it
HitMan: oh, well there's teams of two people, and you have a
card that has
a word on it, and you have to make your partner guess the
word.  but
there's 5 words you're not allowed to say
Spanky: oh. it's like that stupid gameshow that used to be on
a
million years ago
HitMan: so we were playing that tonight, and I was teamed with
my buddy
Matt, and the word was "pornography" ... so first thing I say
is "what you
masturbate to"
HitMan: he replies "Hillary Duff!"