<BobInDaShadows> It's been my life goal to have a quote on
bash
<BobInDaShadows> That and to meet somebody from Wyoming.
<Keiser> Why Wyoming?
<BobInDaShadows> Have YOU ever met somebody from Wyoming?
<Keiser> Good point

<Salec> how would you go by changing the look of a checkbox in
flash?
<SHiZNiT> add a moustache

* om3ga has joined #hangman
<hangbot> Hello om3ga! current game is as follows:
<hangbot> a _ _   _ _ _ _   _ a s _   _   _ _ _ _ _ _   _ _  
_ s
<om3ga> all your base r belong to us
* om3ga has left #hangman

<Madflojo> jesus christ calm down with the trout slapping in
here
<Madflojo> heh maybe it will help if i scroll down before
commenting after being idle

<Wiku> jmmm
<Wiku> hmm*
<Wiku> fix
<Wiku> doh
<Wiku> vix
<Wiku> man, and I haven't even been drinking

<ColonelCoroner> Nah, this one's good.  Alright, so it was
getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change
the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get
into Heaven, you had to have a really bad day when you died. 
The Angel at the gate said to the man, "Before I let you in, I
need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."
<ColonelCoroner> "No problem," the man said. "I came home to
my 10th floor apartment on my lunch hour and caught my wife
half naked. I knew she was fucking some bitch, I glanced out
onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off
the edge by his fingertips!  Well, I ran out onto the balcony
and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But
wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that
broke his fall and he didn't die. This pissed me off even
more. I wanted to kill the fucker! So I unplugged my
refrigerator, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it
over the side. It plummeted 10 stories and crushed him! The
excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart
attack and died almost instantly."
<ColonelCoroner> The Angel considers this, and let's him in
cuz it WAS a bad day....The next dude comes up, and is asked
the same question.  So the dude replies, "But you're not going
to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 11th floor
apartment doing my daily exercises. I was really pushing hard,
and I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and
accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch
myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of
a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment,
started cussing, and stomps on my fingers. I fell and fucking
hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so
I didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the
ground in shock and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push
his refrigerator, of all things, off the balcony. It falls the
10 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly."
<Piro-nuts> rofl...
<ColonelCoroner> So the Angel chuckles, thinks his job is
pretty cool, and let's this dude in...the third dude comes up,
and again the Angel asks him the same question about how he
died.  So the dude goes, 'Okay, picture this, I'm hiding in
this refrigerator right..."

<bullava> I was watching Conan one night and there was a
scottish guy on and he was saying that the original kilts
where used as a sleeping bag as well as clothing .... and that
since the kilt was so heavy scottish warriors would take it
off and run into battle butt naked
<BraveFencer> Makes sense.  Exit the world the samre way you
entered.  Naked and screaming.
<bullava> and plus whats more scarier seeing a man painted
blue and butt naked running at you
<BraveFencer> The above, only with an erection and a bottle of
lube in one hand.

<@unfnknblvbl> I love it when Outlook crashes
<@asuma> then you'll always be in love

<Syl_Aran> my computer randomly got a bios again
<Syl_Aran> i strangely think it happened when the power went
out.
<Syl_Aran> i don't fucking understand this thing >_<
<TheHumanCow> yeah, i don't think you do

<Foobar> livejournal no longer requires referral codes to make
a new lj
<Fluster> sweet.  now i can bitch about my life without having
friends first.

<+EvanTH> You'll have to be Smacky The Heroin bear.
<+Kulstad> w00t!!
<+EvanTH> You must sit in a corner and lose your hair
<+EvanTH> All the children will laugh and stare
<+Kulstad> you mean like Fuzzy Wuzzy
<+EvanTH> For you will be Smacky, the stiff-veined bear
<+EvanTH> yes.
<+EvanTH> Sometimes I wonder why the hell I even let myself
type.

<arsifoofoo> you know...
<arsifoofoo> people rub corn on themselves for skin therapy
<arsifoofoo> "hard pore cornography"

<methangas> this is EA's support lines automatic answering
machine; we already got your money, now please go away

<Beercaps> its not easy spelling bukkake
<RedX> specially with your mouth full ;-)

<zombiemann77> i tied this girl up and she told me to do
whatever i wanted to her so i took her stereo, dvd player, and
all her money

HefnersCrew2005: If you rape a hooker, is it theft?

<RizBow[RF]> winmx if the song is popular (you can download
same song from multiple people simontaneously) , soulseek if
its rare
<maddox> I get my mp3s from the store.. it's pretty nice, they
already have them burned on CD and they come with cases and
booklets.
<RizBow[RF]> maddox: where?

<Pornosaur> My mom gave me one of those plants you can't kill
<Pornosaur> I think it commited sucicide

<jadedlphoto> Maybe the free masons control porn now.
<gz> the carnal cabal?
<firegod> the illuminaughty?

<dunce> We were doing shots of BBQ sauce at the anime con
<dunce> Granted, that BBQ sauce also had vodka in it
<dunce> And I hadn't eaten for 2 days
<Nd> Weren't you there to like... er, what did you do there?
<dunce> I was there to drink
<dunce> And have fun with half naked girls
<dunce> What... you think I give a shit about that anime
stuff? :P
<dunce> Didn't actually see any anime while I was there
<dunce> I mean, I can watch it at home, didn't see what the
big deal was

<SorcererX> Dispatched on March 21, 2004  Delivery estimate:
Mar 19, 2004 - Mar 22, 2004
<SorcererX> now... I've seen inaccurate estimates before...
but this takes the cake
<SorcererX> "we assume that it'll arrive two days ago or in
the next 12 hrs... and the package has to go 2000 km"

<paranoid/> i just realized that my dads a hardcore redneck
<stonedgamer> how so
<paranoid/> he came out of the shower and i saw a tatoo on his
ass that said "exit only"

Ishbu566: haha i guess i was fucked up though
Ishbu566: cuz i had my headphones on
Ishbu566: and pink floyd blasting
Ishbu566: and my dad came out and was yelling at me to turn it
down
Ishbu566: the headphones werent plugged in =(

<FatalError1> how to delete a directory in Linux?
<FatalError1> delete entire contents with one command?
* rm-rf isnt sure

<|_Hyper_|> bush on tv :S
<|_Hyper_|> oh wait
<|_Hyper_|> it'a documentary
<|_Hyper_|> something about monkeys :D

<Sarah> I just saw 28 Days Later
<rude-inverse> that's one of those movies I always planned on
seeing but never did.
<rude-inverse> what was the significance of "28 days"? the
only thing I associate 28 days with is a menstrual cycle.
<Sarah> maybe that's why there was so much blood.

(@Aircraftkiller) I want a drum of oil
(@Aircraftkiller) They're only like $50 I think, full barrel
of oil
(@Aircraftkiller) I just want the barrel of oil
(@Aircraftkiller) Then
(@Aircraftkiller) When someone comes over, and asks you "hey
dude, is that a drum of oil? Real oil?" You can say "Yeah.
Where's YOUR oil?"
(@Aircraftkiller) Because real men own oil.

<diminishe> Anyone wanna help me debug some code?
<PreZ> diminishe, do you have a specific problem?
<diminishe> well, its more like pseudo code

(+Clarke): i was hanging out with some friends last night, and
this guy was saying how lesbian porn doesn't turn him on
becuase his sister is gay
(@h0ns`b0ll0x): Not too big into lesbian porn myself.
(+Clarke): and he'd be like "oh cool, those chicks are going
down on each other......and my sister's friend is sleeping
over... OH GOD"

<JonyBlaze> u have anyideas why a computer wouldnt boot the
slack cd
<drw> good taste?

<kasp> I got a shirt that had integral signs all over it,
and read: "Math is an integral part of life."  I got another
shirt 
that has a small symbol of pi on the front, and 1000 digits of
pi 
(followed by "...") on the back
<glasnost> wow kasp
<brouwer> i've never met you, but i want to beat you up

<q8D> jesus christ I have the runs this morning
<q8D> woo
<q8D> it's like my ass is yelling at the toilet

<1337man> i jast walked in on my brother stripping to a web
cam.... >.<
<heyall> lol
<me101> just another case of "hey bro whats AHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

<B-HAX> damnit my neighbor enabled security on his wifi router
<B-HAX> i am so annoyed
<B-HAX> i probably shouldnt have stuck the antenna right in my
window pointing at his house
<B-HAX> i don't give people very much credit sometimes

<DuTcHiN> U know how you get all lazy and wash your clothes at
the last minute?
<EVILeye04> Um, yeah
<DuTcHiN> Well i was ready to go out to this party right, so
there i was irc'ing in my shirt and boxers waiting for the
load of washing to finish..... and i hear my ride beep from
out the front, so i log off, grab my phoe, wallet and half-wet
pants from the wash and throw them on and as i am bout to get
out the door mum yells 'Wait' so i go 'no time mum' and hop in
the car. By the time we get to the city and get out there is
this weird smell.....
<EVILeye04> and????
<DuTcHiN> And then i turn on my mobile phone and see '1
message received' from 'mum' ---> Sorry i tried to get you to
come back, the cat puked in the washing machine.           So
i had to spend the rest of the night in my stinky pants and
all the chicks looked at me funny. :(

<DuTcHiN> This dude at my work had red hair so we call him
santa.
<XtACY> ???????
<DuTcHiN> Well he obviously has a red sack

* Now talking in #linux
<jeramir> hello, can somebody recommend me a good p2p program?
<glassjoe> GoBuyIt v6.03
<jeramir> i can't find it
<glassjoe> ...

<Nyphur> DIX has a point. That kind of muscle development at
that age isn't something to be celebrated. It's unnatural and
as such, the body isn't designed to do it. It's going to cause
him unforseen problems in the future.
<Nyphur> Good. He deserves it.
<MonkeyDLuffy> ...?
<MonkeyDLuffy> Nyphur, did you just reply to what you just
typed?
<Nyphur> I did, yes. This kind of thing happens at 4AM.

Lah Deez Mahn: sweet
Lah Deez Mahn: outlook 2004
Lah Deez Mahn: now handles
Lah Deez Mahn: all my email accounts
Lah Deez Mahn: from  *everywhere*
Lah Deez Mahn: hotmail, adelphia, yahoo, b4k3r.com
Lah Deez Mahn: ahh, i like it
afmomania: now all you need is someone to email you

<Shinitenshi> "No entry found for faces."
<Shinitenshi> "Did you mean feces?"
<Shinitenshi> Fucking thesarus.com.

<Gadfly> Did you see The Passion of the Christ yet? I hear
Salman Rushdie's writing the novelization.

<TheOracle> :
<TheOracle> WHY IS AIM A WHORE?
<jednet> she's young and needs the money

<Mattimeo> I've decidedthat IRC is an MMORPG where I play the
role of a hopeless nerd :(

<Kuja> How many Dragon Ball Z characters does it take to screw
in a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes three episodes.

<Kyle> The band Disturbed is holding open auditions for a new
bass player. That's my ticket outta this hell hole! Hey, where
can I rent a bass?
<icabod> I'll lend you one
<Kyle> Niiiice. Now, how do I play?
<icabod> It's just like guitar, except you get fewer chicks

<dlanod> The great thing about aural sex is that you can play
it by ear.

<Null> So I downloaded the O'Reilly bookshelf set on cd
<Null> Then I couldn't mount the iso
<Null> Out of curiosity I ran file on it and found out it was
a Divx 3 file
<Null> So apparently my O'Reilly bookshelf iso set is softcore
porn
<Null> I'd hate to be the guy who downloaded porn and got my
bookshelf set
<Calidore> Well, now he can improve himself while downloading
porn.
<Calidore> You, on the other hand, can look for the books
one-handed.

<strlen> i know someone who was half german half korean
<strlen> i asked him if he makes soap out of his dog

<the-dude> Is there something like an API Documentation for
c++?
<mod7t9z730> the-dude, windows api -> msdn
<mod7t9z730> http://msdn.microsoft.com
<the-dude> for linux?
<mod7t9z730> uhm

<RSX-2003> my friend might get suspended from school
<RSX-2003> she's enrolled in child developement, so she has to
work with the special kids on campus
<RSX-2003> and they had their own dance, and my friend
cintheia was the DJ
<RSX-2003> and she put on the song by black eyed peas called
"lets get retarded"
<RSX-2003> if she didn't start laughing she probably wouldn't
have gotten in trouble