<@Aztorath> I got stuck in a playground slide today.
<@Aztorath> Literally WEDGED inside the tube.
<@Aztorath> We took my roomates kid to the park to play on the
stuff. And my roomate tells me to go down backwards, lying on
my back, headfirst.
<@Aztorath> It was one of those totally enclosed twisty tube
slides.
* DreadWolf (~DreadWolf@DreadWolf.users.undernet.org) has
joined #oldwarez
* Abaddon sets mode: +v DreadWolf
<@Aztorath> So I'm like, "Alright". I climb in, slide about
halfway to the sharp curve, and his kid jumps in after me,
HEADfirst. He slams into me and is lying on my legs, my head
hits the top of the tube, and I just about bend entirely in
half.
<@Aztorath> So now I'm literally wedged inside this hot, tiny,
plastic tube, with an extra 60 lbs pressing on me, entirely
stuck. Can't move. Kid can't go back up because his feet are
out behind him, and I'm kissing my knees.
<@Aztorath> If I were ever close to giving myself a blowjob,
today was that day.

<VOmitOry> I have a problem, every file i download gets
corrupted, anyone know why? :o
<kn1ves> is your computer republican?

<Antipop> Does it have a henway?
<Bew> What's a henway?
<Antipop> About 3 or 4 pounds

<knightmare> _______ ___._._._
<GTEK> ?
<knightmare> /s_r__r 12_._._.1
<GTEK> dam i kno this
<knightmare> /ser_er 127._._.1
* Quits: GTEK (Quit)
* Quits: xfiles (Quit)
* Quits: Evolution (Quit)

<xNichG> anyone have a good way to visualize 3d vector fields
and surfaces?
<Nap> LSD?

<Philth> WTF?
<Philth> new jenga 9/11 memorial twin pack
<Philth> comes with a little plane to push the blocks out

<`michael> i just spilled pizza sauce on myself and i'm using
bread as a napkin

<+Huitzil> PETA is starting a campaign stating that the secret
ingredient in KFC chicken is "cruelty"
<+Huitzil> cruelty is apparently the most fucking delicious
thing on Earth
<@Dracos> Yes.  It is.
<@Dracos> Which is why veal is the best food ever.

<AJ> One of my best friends is Jewish.
<AJ> For state testing, our school gave us food, so we'd be
awake and do well. Someone called it "concentration food".
<AJ> So my friend excitedly says "Concentration food? I
haven't had this since camp!"

<golgotha> wait, how did the Mexican Pledge of Allegiance go?
<ShadowRage> we pledge alliegiance to the border, of the
united states of america

<Erin> does anyone else think that maybe dairy farmers have
been tricking us, and that cows are really bulls, and we all
buy bull semen by the litre?
<Erin> it's just whenever I see milk I think of semen that's
all
<KateK> Um, maybe you shouldn't let your dad prepare your
cereal anymore.
<Homestarrr> hellooo calcium deficiency

<helv> WHAT THE FUCK
<helv> a giant mini egg just drove past my house

<Defister> you guys seen that video of the girl shooting live
eels out her ass and having another jap girl eat them?
<Monga> The japanese like sushi WAY too much.

<+shiachan> i am having the worse day for the past 3 years
<+shiachan> someone console me :/
* Edible hits shiachan with a gamecube.

<Ben174> : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay
me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when
the bandwidth picks up after hours.
<ChrisLMB> : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired
instantly.
<Ben174> : Where u work?
<ChrisLMB> : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com
*** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit
(Leaving)

<blacklegions666> is here anybody into BLACK METAL
<blacklegions666> ?
<Ne[r]d> like... living color?

<neott> stop();
<WorkLord> hammertime();

<+flash> WHER CAN I DOWNLOAD A VIRUS?THAT KILLS MY PC FOR
FREE?
<Server> flash: www.windowsupdate.com

<Iyouboushi> hm.. personally, if it was me.. I'd be more
worried about finding Kouga (who has 2 shards in his legs) and
Kohaku (who has a shard in his back)
<Iyouboushi> I'd get the two shards from Kouga and take them
to the modern times
<Iyouboushi> that way Naraku couldn't complete the jewel
<Iyouboushi> because you know once he has the jewel from the
"after-life" place, he's immedately going to kill Kouga and
Kohaku
<Rowen_Hashiba> man i can't breathe... too much geek in here,
it's affecting my sinuses

<bunnyrape> Unscramble this: tq/iu
* Quits: mnk0 (~mnk0@router.globaladsl.adsl.golden.net) (?)

< SnPz> skal jeg gå inn på den siden??
< SnPz> er du norsk??
< [Mosh]> I dont have my secret decoder ring on

<Mighty> I'm hoping I misheard my mother; she said the daycare
my brother is going to is called "Little Third Reich"

<kwigibo> Guns are for people who can't humiliate criminals
with elaborate swinging paint-can contraptions

<MacMan> OMG GUYS GUESS WAT!!!
<The_Spaniard> Stupid is getting louder?

<@cs_weasel> my latest viagra spam subject line: "adolph"
< ponds`zombie> ein reich, ein volk, ein schlongpill

<rjbs> billn: you some kinda jehovah's witness??
<billn> rjbs: I wouldn't say 'witness.' I mean, I clearly saw
God hit that guy with his car, but there's no way I'm gonna
testify against him.

<TehTipper> what do u call bread made by a buffalo?
<DoomGuyPaul> Unsanitary.

<drag0n> Subject: threat level raised
<drag0n> Due to explosives that were found under a rail bed in
France, the Chirac government has raised the threat level in
France to the second highest level.  The President of France
announced that as of 10:00 a.m., the threat level will
officially go from "run" to "hide."

<x-horizon> I was reading a magazine at work while my boss
came to my office and asked me why I am not working...
<x-horizon> I said "I didn't see you coming, sir"

<Bwaa> I tend to do stupid things when I panic
<Bwaa> Like when I accidently poked my friend in the eye,
panicked and poked him in the other one.. because it seemed
the sensible thing to do

<ManicV> sleeping pills are for pussies
<proto_> No no no, you take these orally.

<dreln> i change my nick alot
<Renski> ah
<Renski> you were on the last bsrf irc too then, I remember
some guy say exactly the same thing
<Renski> cant you just choose one and stick with it?
<dreln> no im the unstable release

<pengwuan> at least ian curtis died doing what he loved
<whitcomb> killing himself?
<pengwuan> precisely

<Kel> I got in trouble at the Canadian border. The guy said
"Do you have any guns or weapons in your vehicle?" and I said
"Why? What do you need?"

<spyderballa> you know back in my day white powder in
envelopes was a good thing

<Berawler> Is there any sanity or light left in this
shrivelled husk of a world?
<SingingDancingMoose> There was, but we had to trade it in for
the internet.
<Berawler> That is quite possibly the best response to any
question ever.

LordTwarog: i totally stalked her but only around school
LordTwarog: so it was like "oh, i'm on break too" and not "i
see you from the bushes"

<allcuishpa> they should do a crossover with tubgirl and
goatse
<allcuishpa> "CATCH!"

<JediJawa> So I have this suit jacket and tie on for a speech
in English
<JediJawa> I go to sit down and this girl looks towards me and
says, "You look cute."
<KageGamer> ...
<KageGamer> A girl actually called you cute?
<JediJawa> I'm all surprised and I say thanks.
<JediJawa> Fortuantely no one heard me say that because she
was actually talking to the girl who sits in her line of sight
from me. :/

<Firehawk> so, in english class, we had to write this paper
<Firehawk> and my friend wrote in it "I don't like rapping",
as in music
<Firehawk> only, when he typed it up, he typoed and it came
out "I don't like raping"
<Firehawk> so my english teacher wrote "that's good to know"
on his paper

<CrazyDUMPLING> i treat my women like sUGAR
<Tetsuo> How so?
<CrazyDUMPLING> i put them inbags and lick them
<CrazyDUMPLING> or at least i did until that financially
debilitiating lawsuit
<Tetsuo> ...

<MrBump> my irc logs kept me going throughout my 6 months
offline
<Lord_Blix> you need to get out more often.
<MrBump> i did, i took printouts

<astaroth> the other minor annoyance with this laptop is that
the IRDa port keep changing the channel on the TV

<MetaBean> my wifes boobies will be huge soon
<Nobara> ???
<Nobara> She is pregnat, or you are rich?

<dave2away> furries are people too! and animals

<Spear> what's an american idol?
<Exorcist|iDM> money

<lofty> hello anyone know how to kill 900gb bandwidth in 6
hours?
<Neodymium> Yes
<Neodymium> Give me a shell

<TribGuru> How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a
light bulb?
<TribGuru> You don't know, man.  You don't KNOW.
<TribGuru> cause you weren't THERE

Lizerati: So, when it's dark and you're driving past a church,
the "Worship 11am" sign looks like "Worship Ham"

<BaD-CooL> for the first time in history, two zombie movies
are at the movie theaters at the same time
<BaD-CooL> dawn of the dead and passion of the christ
<BaD-CooL> jesus is the original zombie
<BaD-CooL> then he sucked the brains out of all the dumbass
christian faggots