<`Jamesy> i saw this old guy buy doom3 today <`Jamesy> as he's buying it the shop assistant asks him what kinda pc/video card he has <`Jamesy> and he mutters something about 32mb <`Jamesy> and the assistant says it wont run and that he needs a new card with at least 128mb <`Jamesy> and then the twit says <`Jamesy> but it runs doom 2 ok!!!!!!
[Maimed_Perfection] Anything with numbers replacing letters is just fucking stupid. [Sanctum] Yeah [Sanctum] NO ONE THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED AND THIRTY SEVEN SPEAK [Sanctum] PLEASE
<dorian> 8======D <stout> that smiley has a really long nose
<Mansion_Maniac> I just realized something <TheEnforcer> ?? <Phone> ?? <Mansion_Maniac> if you renamed "humans" as "Terrans"; "aliens" as "Zerg"; and "Predators" as "Protoss", the new Aliens vs. Predator movie would totally be a movie adaptation of StarCraft.
<+Badger[49]> ...would you pose nude for, like, a billion dollars? o.o <+Nightwish> who wouldnt <+Nightwish> o_o <+Nightwish> then again i'd pose for like 5 cents and a candy
<Devilbunny> when talking to a girl who's a programmer about dating prospects, I said not to worry. <Devilbunny> as a programmer, she'll be exposed to geek boys who may have never seen a girl before, and she can have her pick of the litter <Devilbunny> someone else interjected saying "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
(weaseL) the nurse at the the reception at the doctors is hot (Venge) oh, so that's why they think you have asthma...
<ExplosiveTwinkies> Ok, my sister calls Compuserve to cancel my net(thank god), but unfortunetly, only the account holder (Me) can speak to the operator. But I'm a 'minor' so I can't. <ExplosiveTwinkies> So I can't speak to the operator AT ALL. I can't give my sister the 'authority' to talk, cause I cannot speak to the operator. <ExplosiveTwinkies> Then... suprise suprise, the operator asks for my WIFE.
<Aragorn^> I tried using the old "show me yours and I'll show you mine" trick...maybe I should reverse it...show me yours OR I'll show you mine.
<Reedy> man im lame <Reedy> i was walking around the city tonight <Reedy> looking at the signs and billboards etc <Reedy> street lights, traffic lights <Reedy> and im like "pfft, doom3 has way better lighting than this shit"
<linnie> Whats wrong Duncie? <duncan> not much <duncan> im reading is all <linnie> Oh!!!! okay leave you to it! <duncan> lol <duncan> "I'm living in a country i hate with people i dont care about in a job im depressed about where the only thing that gives me pleasure is practising giving death to others in the most painful way possible" <linnie> LMAO <linnie> where is that from? <linnie> I like that <duncan> ... <duncan> i just made that up <duncan> its MY LIFE
<GvL|OCNoy> hey guys, I'm making a hangman game, I need some 7-10 character words <Boltskee> homosexual <GvL|BBA> cockbite <GvL|Ewout_vB> klootzak <GvL|BBA> metrosexual <GvL|OCNoy> Man, that was stupid to ask in IRC <GvL|Ewout_vB> hemoglobin <Boltskee> lollersexual <GvL|Ewout_vB> pak5gene <GvL|BBA> foreskin <GvL|OCNoy> sigh <GvL|BBA> rectum
<Sebastian> My computer is more than a little confused <Sebastian> My DVD player thinks it's a zip drive . . .
Eberlin: Nothing accelerates windows like a good ol' fashioned 9.8m/s^2
<Kane> I like to play poker with tarot cards...I get a full house and four people die
N47H4N:I just made an awsome discovery!!!!!!! When you mix Blue and Yellow you get a entirely new color! I will call it Blellow!
SlythDra: Thou shalt not rewire the coffee maker to insult the parentage of anyone who uses it.
<Underscore> /part and /quit are sitting on a boat, they weigh a total of 120kg, the moon is at waxing crescent and it is 12 degrees C outside. How much marzipan can a giraffe eat in 10 minutes?
<The_Slog> you know how a sink trap works? <Einer> No. <Einer> I'm a rocket scientist, not a plumber.
NARHDD:My dad once complimented a woman on having a "bun in the oven". NARHDD:It turned out she wasn't pregnant. NARHDD:Whoops.
* Shadowe`shopping has joined #gamesurge <Shadowe`shopping> listen <Shadowe`shopping> word of advice <Shadowe`shopping> NEVER use an electric razor to shave your scrotum <Shadowe`shopping> christ <Br34ch> wtf? <Br34ch> Why? <Br34ch> Elaborate, please <Shadowe`shopping> you have no idea how long it took me to get the bleeding to stop
Miyomei2: I had my portable CD player, and took it in the bathroom with me while I went to pee. Miyomei2: And the second I whipped my penis out, the theme song to 'Rocky' started playing. Miyomei2: I've never felt more manly than in that moment.
<PeterGriffin> He's always playing that awful FFXI game <PeterGriffin> Maybe when Madden 05 is released and he'll play something else I'll go over regularly again, but I can't see myself hanging out if all I get to do is watch him kill crabs <Jakeoff> do MMORPGS even qualify as games? <PeterGriffin> No, they're more like a treadmills that makes you fatter
<Moeancurly> i hate wireless internet <Moeancurly> constant ping tim<eouts Moeancurly> everytime i reach for my water i get disconnected <BakerTime361> where'd Moeancurly go?
*** 10 points awarded to queen_daisy33. 'carb': (1+1+1+2)x2. jesus_onacracker: haha queen_daisy33: woo 10 points queen_daisy33: take that atkins
<Mild> a choose your own adventure hamlet would be nice too <Mild> To be, turn to page 73.
<R3Co][L> i really need to reinstall PS <R3Co][L> fuck knows where ive put my cd * Ghozt is now known as fuck_knows <fuck_knows> it's under the clothes on your floor.
<_tail> i stopped beleiving you a minute ago <Idiot> i'm surprised you believed me at all <_tail> you started tlaking a minute ago
<Timelord> I am heading down to Cingular to go punch a CSR in the face. <Timelord> Later all. <Tuan> haha <TacoWork> chip a tooth for me. <mattsteg_> if you don't get your monthly quota of punches in, they roll over to next month
<sheep--> you are in a race.. and you pass the person who is running second, what position are you now? <exe|> Well... that depends... if you're the right side or not <FuIru> pass as in overtake, or fall behind? <sheep--> overtake <FuIru> then 2nd <sheep--> heh.. my dad caught be off guard and i said first <sheep--> he laughed in my face <FuIru> heh <exe|> haha <sheep--> he also said 'what kind of a programmer are you? hahaha' <sheep--> : <sheep--> i got pwned by my dad
* Uman sets mode: +vvv Mode6Nine ostrich Raptor|Sleep * Quits: ostrich (Quit: ) <Uman> So that's how to get rid of ostrich... <[dZ]Thane> .. * Uman sets mode: +v [dZ]Thane * Uman crosses his fingers
Mike3285: wtf is a palindrome MaroonSand: no its not dude
<FLoYD> CHILD: Dad, where did I come from? <FLoYD> DAD: Okay, we had to have this conversation some day!.. Listen........ <FLoYD> Dad and mom met in a chat room on the net. I set up a meeting with <FLoYD> your mom and we landed in the bathroom at the Cyber Cafi. Then, <FLoYD> mom did some downloads from dads memory stick and when dad <FLoYD> was ready to upload, we discovered that there was no firewall. Seeing <FLoYD> that it was a bit too late to cancel, I just carried on doing the upload. <FLoYD> Nine months later, the virus appeared!. <FLoYD> CHILD: Huh?
<bean> i remember back when irc was different <unseenn> it still is different
<[S]Supey|Llama> oogm! britney! toxic! my bro has the best songs!!!!1oneoneone(x, where y=2, and x=y/2)
* fido2 ponders his next move <@Doody> Queen to knight four?
DaLady Firestorm: hm... nother random question: if you could do one video game character, who would it be DerBrystar522666: now that is a tough cookie DaLady Firestorm: :-P DerBrystar522666: First thought is Max Payne DaLady Firestorm: lol DerBrystar522666: second thought is Justin from Grandia. Or maybe Roman from Armed and Dangerous DerBrystar522666: another thought is the Master Chief DaLady Firestorm: so, I ask which video game character you'd have sex with, and all your choices are men... :-P DerBrystar522666: oh... shit! DerBrystar522666: I read that one completely wrong
(mistersandman) aw pee (mistersandman) they require you to register it on the internet (X_Stickman) well with your 100% perfectly legal copy i'm sure you have no objections (mistersandman) oh of course not i just.. dont have an internet connection
<tomato> So Chris, you blew bubbles as a kid? <Chris> yes tom i did <tomato> Well Chris he just called, he's looking for you
<devils_trombone> Hey wana hear a funny story? <frogslegs> yep <Crazed_Cousin_Dougal> does it involve clowns and ninjas? <devils_trombone> no. <devils_trombone> Last wknd, me and sum mates were down at the pub, and we see this guy looking pretty pissed. <devils_trombone> Anyway, we hadn't drunk much, so we decided to be good people and drive this guy home. <Crazed_Cousin_Dougal> was he a clown/ninja? <devils_trombone> So we helped him up, and he fell over. Then we tried dragging him out and he kept falling over. <devils_trombone> So we drove him back to his place, and knocked on the door, and this woman answers (presumably his wife) and is all like: "Thanks boys, but where's his wheelchair?"
<Chee|s|e> I can't wait: soon, marijuana will be legal in Canada :) <Eddf> So you can have a pot garden in your back yard? <Chee|s|e> No dude, so I can extend the one in the back to the front.
<mCh> cd rootmy_head <mCh> ls -l <garg^work> bash: directory is empty
<Breadfan>this morning my dad went to go to the bathroom, but my little bro was already in there, my dad turns the knob but its locked, and in his deepest UT voice my bro shouts "DENIED" <Breadfan>My dad just walked away scratching his head <Dreyer>ROFLMAO
<Chafey> Macgyver hates the french <Chafey> He's all like "I'll build a submarine out of this dried camel shit, damned french"
<Darric> Ok, so this guy's playing golf with a priest. <Darric> And he's really bad, so every time after one bad putt after another, he's like "FUCK I MISSED THE FUCKING HOLE" <[PervertedMonk]> k <[PervertedMonk]> ... <Darric> Next hole... swing... putt... "FUCK I MISSED" <Darric> And the priest becomes a little unnerved <[PervertedMonk]> obviously <Darric> So he says "You really shouldn't keep saying that, or the Lord may well strike you down" <Darric> Next hole: Swing... putt... "FUCK I MISSED!" <Darric> And then there's a rumbling in the clouds, and a lightning bolt strikes the priest dead <Darric> And a voice overhead... "FUCK I MISSED"
<<Excel>> Omg, I saw the funniest thing today. <<Excel>> There was a chalk outline on the floor, like those crime scenes where someone's been murdered. <<Excel>> And in the middle of it, someone had written 'PWNED! '
<Syko>Anyway, I'm gonna play some Simpsons :P * Syko is now known as Syko-ShitnRun <Syko-ShitnRun> oh shit * Syko-ShitnRun is now known as Syko-HitnRun
cardrealmsk8: i made it to 2nd base today Nck Tracy: nice. Nck Tracy: I made it to third, but there was no one else with me.
<Abracadav> thats a pretty ambiguous statement <timmo> i wish someone would ban you. * Abracadav was kicked by knucklz (ask and ye shall receive) * knucklz sets mode: +b *!*alk3@*.tpgi.com.au <timmo> hey look at that wishes do come true <timmo> and you dont even need cancer to make it happen
<DAMNIT> My god I hate being new clerk at the pharmacy where I work... <DAMNIT> Today some 80 year old guy comes in with a giant syringe, asking if we had it. <DAMNIT> The guy handed me it, I took it in my hand, and I looked in every part of the store possible cause I had no clue in hell what it was. <DAMNIT> So, I go in back and ask the owner if we have it or can order it, still holding it in my hand. <DAMNIT> The owner then bursts out laughing and point at me, so I go "What's so funny? The guy just wants to order it?" <DAMNIT> So the owner goes "That's a enema syringe. It's probally been up his ass plenty of times by the color of it!" <DAMNIT> I then procede to calmly walk back to the front, give the guy his anal sucker back, and the owner then deals with him about ordering it. <DAMNIT> Meenwhile I put every soap we have on my hands and rub like hell for 20 minutes till my skin is completely raw. <DAMNIT> And I'm the laughing stock of the store now, and 2 of my relatives work there, so soon my whole family will be laughing at me......