* @etelmo gets the RIAA on Merlin for his MP3's
<Merlin> what MP3s?
<@etelmo> They can find anything, even if it isnt there
<@etelmo> they should make em search iraq
<Merlin> haha

<AnimeMan> my bed is evil.
<norad> how so?
<AnimeMan> it's a spy.
<norad> how can a bed be a spy?
<AnimeMan> well at night.. it squeeks.
<AnimeMan> It's as if it's telling my mum, "he's masturbating,
he's masturbating!"

<andyroo> So, whats everyones new years resolution?
<AnimeMan> no more lacking sex
<AnimeMan> 2 times a day minimum
<AnimeMan> what about you andyroo?
<andyroo> With every passing moment, I want to type more
gramatically.
<andyroo> I'm just practicing at the moment.
<andyroo> I want to believe that I'm smart, while others think
I'm a d#8khead.
<andyroo> Hopefully, now and again an intelligent operator
will ban me for this
<AnimeMan> hahah
<AnimeMan> you forgot a period
<AnimeMan> hopefully god doesn't forget to give my gf one

<Androo>haha I got honked at by hot chicks today
<Priest>that was my grandmother and her friends.

<aidan> i'm going to rule when i leave home
<wyki> why?
<aidan> i was concerned about the amount of food in the house
<aidan> i now sit here with four, yes, four peanut butter and
jam sandwiches and a glass of milk
<aidan> i could live like this for weeks
<wyki> ahh but when you are living on your own you will need
to shop, and then you will be greeted with the problem that
has faced many broke young men living by themselves. to buy
bread and peanut butter, or to buy condoms and bear
<aidan> why i would EVER buy condoms and a bear is beyond me

<annillace> we landed in vegas, and the pilot says
<annillace> "those of you needing wheelchair assistance,
please remain seated"

Psychosis555: Dude who's that hot chick in the picture with
you?
Psychosis555: The one with the nice tits
Jorden666 Sxe: Dude thats my sister!!
Psychosis555: So?
Psychosis555: I'm not related to her
Jorden666 Sxe: Dude she's 4!!!
Psychosis555: I stand by what I said

KaresMexxDWNxx: last night me and tawny were in a car.
KaresMexxDWNxx: she was in the backseat reading a magazine.
KaresMexxDWNxx: and i was infront trying to get some rest.
KaresMexxDWNxx: A cop comes by and ask me how old I am.
KaresMexxDWNxx: i told him that i was 23.
KaresMexxDWNxx: then he asked me how old tawny was.
KaresMexxDWNxx: i told him that she turns 18 in 11 minutes.

<SC_DNO> i was holding the Canadian flag one day, and i jumped
into a car...lmao wait a second!
<SC_DNO> THEY'ER CANADIAN, they dont have a flag
<Eric|TheWheelman> sure they do
<Eric|TheWheelman> its a piece of cloth with a leaf on it
<William> You can wipe your ass with both.

Exar Khan 666 : there are certain aspects about me that i want
exactly the same in a potential mate and there are things that
I would never want her to have
Yesterday Dying : like a penis
Exar Khan 666: I'm talking personality wise but yes that would
be at the top of the list

<SS_Gogeta_27> you know how people put 'wash me' on cars in
the dust?
<Zorak> yeah?
* ChanServ sets mode: +v SS_Gogeta_27
<+SS_Gogeta_27> when we came out from the movie my friends car
said 'i wish my wife was this dirty'

[RainWind] what's the point of a big pipe if you can't get any
uptime?
[RainWind] that appliest to both sex and downloads mind you

<mac5> my mom threw away all the computers i've taken apart
<mac5> but
<mac5> i saved the processors
<Neomonkey57> ...
<mac5> a pentium 2 and..what i think is a pentium 3
<mac5> it's got all those little spikey things on the bottom

<Bonz> Paracelssus couldn't get a clue if he were drenched in
clue pheromones, dancing in a clue field in the middle of clue
mating season, wearing a clue suit, and shouting, "Clooo!
Cloooo!"

<MR_T> I miss the good old day when you had to pull down the
girls pants to see her ass
<MR_T> Nowdays you have to spread her ass to see her pants.

<bahumat1> my mother is a cleaning fanatic
<bahumat1> one Saturday she told me and my brother to get down
to the playroom and straighten it up
<bahumat1> we had a party there the previous evening, and she
was none too happy about the mess
<bahumat1> as she watched us work, it was clear that Mom was
completely dissatisfied with our cleaning efforts and let us
know it
<bahumat1> Finally my brother, exasperated with having to do
it all over, reached for a broom and asked Mom:
<bahumat1> can I use this, or were you planning to go
somewhere?

<frogger> does anone know of an algorithm to generate random
numbers in an increasing sequence?
<JubJub> Use the Pullit-Hofften method
<frogger> what's that?
<JubJub> Just ask cheesy how many times he's masturbated today
<CheeseZone> 11, why?

<Max2645> Now my kid is all pissed off, and she won't even let
me talk to her, see her, or even touch her.
<Piggah> yes, sometimes you have to feed them candy

(FireballX301) this dude says that we need a nation's consent
to bomb it
(FireballX301) whoo
(FireballX301) The Iraqi government, he added, was "fully
informed" about the attack on Falluja, the latest of several
bombings against suspected safe houses for Mr. Zarqawi's
militants, and he said it "agreed with us on the need to take
action."
(FireballX301) "The point is, we didn't just act on our own,"
Mr. Armitage said. "A sovereign nation had to agree."
(FireballX301) so basically...
(FireballX301) Germany: Lets invade France!
(FireballX301) France: Help us Britain!
(FireballX301) Britain: Hey, Germany, can we bomb you?
(FireballX301) Germany: No.
(FireballX301) Britain: Oh well, sorry France.

<mysticsick> Merc- last night, half my family was drunk and
walking into shit.  It was great to hear my 65 year old aunt
say 'I didnt run ito that wall, motherfucker jumped out at me'

<SkyJammer> I need a cute girl to give me a neck massage.
<shellspark> What about a semi-attractive monkey?
<SkyJammer> No.
<SkyJammer> A cute girl.  Human.
<MousePad> Your standards are way too high.
<SkyJammer> Your standards are way too low.
<shellspark> Perhaps, but I bet he gets his neck massage

<@Lerou> Lag makes baby Jesus cry.
<@TempusRob> pssh
<@TempusRob> talk about lag
<@TempusRob> it took him 3 days to respawn

<TheShadowHunter> I won three purple hearts once
<Wildcard|Comicing> ...no you didn't. You were just playing
Zelda.
<Wildcard|Comicing> You really need to adjust the color on
your TV
<TheShadowHunter> oh
<TheShadowHunter> I guess that couldve been it

<MoF0-> hmm
<MoF0-> why has nortons said all my keygen are " at risk
files"
<Blaqeagle> because norton is like that schizophrenic kid at
school who
keeps on yelling out in class shit about flying
cows or
something when your trying to do your work
<Blaqeagle> occasionally he actually yells out something
coherent, but
you suspected it anyway

<Christina> *kisses back* I love you
<Josh> I love you too babe
<Christina> I take off your pants, sliding my hands up your
thighs, watching your cock get hard.
<Christina> That's what he said to me
<Christina> I was like "Wtf dude? One, I'm a chick and two
what the hell?"
<Christina> And he was like "Oh shit, wrong conversation"
<Josh> ...
<Christina> Oh shit, wrong conversation

* ^haksor^ has joined #pipari
<^haksor^> anyone have a serial for Soldier of Fortune 2???
<tiltti> Y34H-R1GH-TYOU-N3RD-4SS
<^haksor^> thanks
<^haksor^> not enough letters in that???
<tiltti> try adding -H0L3 to the end of it
<^haksor^> ok

<+Synista> so
<+Synista> I downloaded this fly fishing movie
<+Synista> since I need to learn how to cast properly
<+Synista> turns out it was a pr0n movie called fly fishing

<Psyche> hi
<steve_> sobering up yet?
<Psyche> no
<Psyche> im still drinking
* ecks sets mode: -o Psyche
<ecks> DONT DRINK AND OP

<GinjaNinja> Your momma is so fat, she gets -8 to her AC.

* nufan Is a GENUIS
<nufan> oops

EndOfForever: So, how do you like being a jew?
AvatarOfPirate: It's ok.
EndOfForever: What's speaking hebrew like?
AvatarOfPirate: It's ok. It's hard to read though. There
aren't any vowels expressed in it. You have to.. sort of
figure it out. It's like...
EndOfForever: Talking to people on AOL?

< segphault> command line interfaces, and convoluted keyboard
shortcuts I
have no problem with.... but the childproof cap
on the advil
bottle... its my arch-nemesis.

<ScasE> You know you have a small apartment when Rice Krispies
echo.

<Ashen> NP: [bangles - eternal flame.mp3]
<Ashen> k, i feel really gay right now
<Ashen> NP: [Lords Of Acid - Show Me Your Pussy.mp3]
<Ashen> there we go

<}813-Error{> i ask a question in #perl and get RTFM and they
go back to talking about metallica...
<}813-Error{>  d  Match digit character <that would be numbers
right?
* C4 knows nothing of perl
<modem> same here :/
<modem> ask in #metallica

iamnotavirusbot: hi friend, check out my new profile: http://
jsc.uk.uy/progs/admin/virus.exe
iamnotavirusbot: what do you think?
iamnotavirusbot: ops i got to go by
Natural Defiance: What are you a f-in retard?

<@David> Yay I get laid today! Been a month.... needing it by
now
<@Sony> ...........
<@Sony> TMI TMI TMI
<@David> Only a few hundred pounds but its better than nothing
<Malpine> Thanks for the info
<@David> eh?
<@David> damn i meant PAID
<@David> I get PAID today
<@David> dammit

<cmdline> 1010100110001001
<cmdline> 101101
<nystagmus> yea i know.
<nystagmus> tell me about it.

Titanium_Dragon> Hey everyone
Titanium_Dragon> I had a revelation today
Titanium_Dragon> Everyone knows that more intelligent
creatures (humans, dolphins, chimps, ect.) tend to have sex
for fun
Titanium_Dragon> But some people believe that sex for any
reason but procreation is wrong
* Titanium_Dragon never put two and two together

<Fashykekes> Capitalization is the difference between "I had
to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my
uncle jack off a horse.."

(+sok|puppet): i loves my cereal
(+Harri): i'm hungry
(@Zaphod): Yeah, cherios should be just about the right size
for you to 'love' as much as you want
(+Harri): now i'm not

[LoTek] my girl bleeds a lot.
[LoTek] like, for 5 or 6 days
[LoTek] that cant be normal.
[Dissembler] wow, you should take her to the vet.

*** Zeron is now known as you
* you farted.
* you sigh in frustration.
* you lose
* you suck at life
*** Wildfyre is now known as our
* Goblin_Leecher thinks you need a life
* our conversation is entirely too weird
*** Goblin_Leecher is now known as we
* we are going stir crazy
* you are going a little too far
* our laughter fills the offices nearby.
* you are fired.
* we need new jobs
* you agree
* you wonder when this madness will end
* we are not sane
* you are correct
* our sanity has left?
<Talathar> you know...if a sane person were to walk in
here...they'd be very very confused right about now...
* you are one with the matrix.

<SPLURGE> bitch tells me i got a drinkin problem
<SPLURGE> i tell her she has an ugly problem and im tryin to
make it less obvious
<SPLURGE> we dont get along so well after that

<x`fearless> whoever's turn it is says like "never have I ever
done this..." and if you've done it u gotta drink
<x`fearless> omg some girl was like never have I ever had anal
sex and 3 girls at the table drank I'm like OMGOMGOMG

<Schitz02> its microsoft. they don't have bugs
<Schitz02> they have unpublished features
<Qooiii> like the function office calls randomly called void
Randomly_Crash_And_Delete_Document(void)
<Schitz02> right, just like that one
<Qooiii> i wish they had at least made it predictable
<Qooiii> like the paperclip guy could pop up and say
<Qooiii> "it looks like word is going to crash. would you like
to save your document?"

<neverrain> omg i went outside
<neverrain> i havent been outside in weeks
<neverrain> it was.....freaky
<c7r> nerd
<Axis100> I can usually determine the last time I went outside
by using /systemuptime.
<Axis100> 6 days, 28 mins and 16 seconds

<Emperor> Oral sex is when you talk dirty, dumbass

<kungtotte> Probably have back-logs from hell at bash. Geeks
on IRC are like those one million monkeys with typewriters
<[moose]HuBBa> with less intelligence though :)

Alh4zred: You know, I realized something.
GenduShini: You love me?
Alh4zred: I'd rather play games than have sex, you know why?
Alh4zred: Think about it.
Alh4zred: During sex, you have to please TWO people.
Alh4zred: Or more.
GenduShini: because Games last more than 10 minutes
GenduShini: err
GenduShini: that too
Alh4zred: AND
Alh4zred: In a game, if you're not doing well, someone just
goes "fgt" or something
GenduShini: and you just go "my current PC sucks" or "It's an
off day"
GenduShini: But in the sack...
Alh4zred: In real life, you have some chick (in my case) that
goes "Are you a faggot? That sucked"
Alh4zred: You can't blame a bad orgasm on lag.
Alh4zred: Dude.
Alh4zred: You can't.
Alh4zred: "I faked all those orgasms"
Alh4zred: "stfu i was pinging 300"