<cow_crap> ok I came to class early one day, considerably
early
<cow_crap> and there's a girl there that I'm quite taken aback
by
<cow_crap> and she said "wow, you came early" and I said,
without thinking, "that's what all the girls say"
<cow_crap> I am such a fucking idiot
<cow_crap> she laughed at me for like 15 mins

<Phreddy> I'm easily confused
<rens> that's a side effect of having a penis

WarpdArchn: lots of christians don't go to church
WarpdArchn: so they never have to meet the other people who
believe the same things they do
WarpdArchn: and therefore never have to lose faith in humanity

<Fuxm> You know what i wanna do?
<Fuxm> i wanna photoshop a picture of me to make it look like
im having gay sex with matt
<rX> WTF why??
<Fuxm> ...and then put it where i keep my weed so if my
parents ever find it they wont care about the weed.
<rX> LMAO
<rX> make two copies and put one in a rogers video case and
return it to the one he works at

<Zazu> omg
<Zazu> wc
<Zazu> that link you posted
<Zazu> eww
<WC`> yeah it's bad
<Zazu> why do you look at things like that? why not normal
stuff to jack off to, like shuri's links?
<WC`> because it's fun to 0wn you
<Zazu> but do you have ANY idea how hard it was to jerkoff to
that?

<XvoiD> We need more members for the forums. I've told all my
friends now tell all yours. Im sure they will love it here.
Come on and help out the forums.
<debian_> What if people start to advertise and the forums get
a flood of people like Ra... noobs.
<thomas> what if we became an elite group of forumers who took
over the world by sticking together in a pack of small
numbers, fighting the odds, and defeating cobra commander
whenever possible?

* grannyman jams a slight tune
<grannyman> just slightly
<grannyman> not quite full-on
<grannyman> just slighty sub-par
<grannyman> but not yet sub-woofer.
<grannyman> or sub-sonic
<grannyman> just kinda like sub-way
<grannyman> you know, like eat fresh all day
<grannyman> BUUU dubba Duuuu dubba Duuu dubba deeeee
<grannyman> SHIIIIIIIIIIINEEEE~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
<grannyman> dude, I wish i could emulate instruments through
IRC.
* grannyman was k-lined by Q (Jesus, I'm a bot, and I can't
even take this shit.)

Pikeman: I wonder if sex in heaven is considered necrophilia.
Pikeman: Or hell.
*** Jam (Jam@217.137.88.9) has joined #ev3
Pikeman: Jam, wanna test my theory?
Jam: sure
forge: Heh.
Jam: do i have to get naked?
forge: In a way...

<booze> rice makes your dick gain strenght :p
<Margarita> if you shove it in your dick, sure, booze

<Twiztid> My gf called me gay
<Twiztid> I came back with
<Twiztid> "If I'm gay then why do I think of you when I jerk
it?"
<Twiztid> There was an akward silence...
<Linguica> whats wrong with that
<Twiztid> nothing
<Twiztid> except I was talking to my grandfather

<Duo> i love it when youve been drinking for a while
<Duo> and you think youre completely sober
<Duo> but then you stand up and you're like, "oh there it is"

(Deranged): Having my right hand as a girlfriend is the best
relationship I've ever had.
(Deranged): It's always up for threesomes, it'll never cheat
on me.
(Deranged): And best of all, I don't have to talk to it after
sex, because I don't know sign language.

<Irish_GothDragon> he just figured out spiders have no
genitalia
<Aryn> yes they do
<Irish_GothDragon> no they dont
<Aryn> yes they do
<Irish_GothDragon> they have orafices for fluid transfer
<Aryn> err, good to know
<Irish_GothDragon> the female rubs her tail sac over the
orafice to get the sperm.. no real sex occurs
<GlassRain> wtf
* GlassRain exits
* Quits: GlassRain
<Aryn> it sounds very dirty, that's how I know it's real sex
<Irish_GothDragon> hey.. I'm a biology major
<[PR]Swift|ZzZzZ> that mean your getting turned on?

[anigirl82] my friend found out he was allergic to latex the
first time he had sex
[Sil<3rium] o.o
[anigirl82] it sucked because he had been with his girl for
like 3 years..and they had been waiting
[Sil<3rium] oh noo
[Urbal T] that is...wrongery
[Sil<3rium] yeeeeeeees
[blue><3dge] talk about a night he'll never forget! hahahah!
... ha... ha... ow...
[blue><3dge] that poor man's wang

<Torgina> so wtf is up with mirc saying I have 7days left?
<Azathoth> It's the tape you watched.

Becca: find a penny pick it up all day long you'll have good
luck
Matt: yeah... but
Matt: if you throw the penny at someone
Matt: it's funny

<Outsyder> they fell for the "look gulliable isn't in the
dictionary!"
<Outsyder> and they tried to find it
<Outsyder> but they couldn't spell it

<+div0> hm... if an infinite number of monkeys typed like wild
on typewriters... how many would be arrested for copyright
violations?
<@CCFreak2K> Exactly half of them.
<@CCFreak2K> Even if that means half of a monkey is arrestred.
<@CCFreak2K> So be it.
<@CCFreak2K> This world's an asshole.

<Xira> I seriously hope ATi catches up with nVidia
<Xira> (read: OpenGL)
<ByronT> I seriously hope my wife is in good mood tonight.
<ByronT> (read: sex)

<E-Claire> So how can I help?
<Mochomi> I just wanna know how to get on well with my bf,
y'know?
<E-Claire> Ah. Well, I recommend you make him feel as good as
he thinks he is...try laughing at his little jokes.
<Mochomi> And if he doesnt tell funny jokes?
<E-Claire> Laugh at his little penis.

<Disco_Stu> The Iraq conflict is our business and we will
straighten it out.
<Disco_Stu> you have to sit there and take it.
<Disco_Stu> if you want our help when we are good, then you
have to take our shit when we aren't
<marble> love the sinner, hate the sin
<esch> You don't stop loving your wife because she gets fat,
do you?
<marble> esch: my husband stopped loving me when I got fat.
people are rotten. what's your point?
<esch> marble: That you were probably annoying.

14:51 <@phoniq> so these guys have three kenyans, three
indians and an egyptian
14:51 <@phoniq> and they're gonna behead one every 72 hours
14:52 <@phoniq> and their pictures are available
14:52 <@phoniq> so i think i'm gonna make a website where you
can vote for
which one should get it first
14:53 <@phoniq> see if it's possible to make the news
14:53 <@arp> damn
14:54 <@arp> Survivor: Iraq
14:54 <@phoniq> that's f***n' wrong, right?
14:54 < bean_tmt> ... can i laugh?
14:54 <@phoniq> i dunno
14:54 <@phoniq> i think a kind of shocked choke is the
appropriate response

<Kool-Afk> Man, I had the greatest day at work today
<DigitalGnome> how so?
<Kool-Afk> some guy offered me a joint to clean his gutters
<Air|LordOfNUTs> wtf
<DigitalGnome> sweet, i had a great day too. I offered some
low life to clean my gutters for a joint

<Tweeder> No, I love my Mac. It's aweseom!
<Tweeder> It's everything I want in a computer
<Tweeder> ...but I haven't been able to find any good IRC
progs for OSX
<quade> how the fuck are you on irc then?
<Tweeder> I'm using my boyfriend's PC

<Yo-DUH_87> next gen is here, but it isn't mature enough for
me yet
<Yo-DUH_87> the pci express motherboards and etc
<M[at]> heh, micheal jackson should use that excuse

<ashp> cogito ergo sum
<Phallus> libido ergo sum
<Phallus> i'm horny therefore i am

sugarat: how to tell if you're a nerd - subtract the number of
boyfriends/girlfriends from the number of computers you've
owned.  if you're left with a positive number, you're a nerd.
LordWork: lol
ltcolumbo: I'm not a nerd, I'm a geek
SPLURGE: whew
SPLURGE: im not a nerd
SPLURGE: you know
SPLURGE: i really am a nerd
SPLURGE: that test sucks
SPLURGE: i wonder if hookers count
ltcolumbo: can i just call you a "john"?
SPLURGE: i suppose you could
SPLURGE: but the girls i have sex with are too ugly to be paid
for it

<radar> been in the middle of a shag when the g/f's friend
called... I just slowed down, and stated teasing her
button... 
<Lashanna> lol
<radar> meanwhile, my g/f was saying, "Hmmmm! yeeeessss...."
and "Thaaat's goood"
<Lashanna> lol
<Lashanna> she didn't hang up?
<radar> no... and it took about 10 minutes for her friend to
work out what was goin
no... and it took about 10 minutes for her friend to work out
what was going on... then she kept listening
<Lashanna> lol
<Lashanna> so what was the friend doing?
<radar> after a while, she was singing along 
<radar> closest I've got to a threesome

<Vartia> by the way... reading the entire review for doom on
pcgamer... I could not find why they really gave it 94%
<eldeerk> you want to know why they gave it 94? they are all
giddy school girls sat infront of the screen gooo "ooooh doom
3, think he'll ask us to the prom, he so dreamy"

<coffee4me> Tazers are killing old people and crack heads
<Joeytgstk> And/
<Joeytgstk> ?

<@Kukuman> this fundrace.org site lists people near you who
have made contributions to a presidential candidate
<@Kukuman> looked up my zip code
<@Kukuman> 4 people contributed to bush/republicans
<@Kukuman> something like 35 people contributed to democrats
<@Kukuman> oh and all 4 of the people who contributed to bush
are retired!
<@philc> you spelt retarded incorrectly

lonelychic0190: WHY DO BOYS LIKE RECIEIVING ORAL BUT THEY DONT
LIKE GIVING GIRL ORAL
Goat Desecration: BECAUSE WOMEN CAN'T TALK WITH A DICK IN
THEIR MOUTH

<barnaby> TheMage: jess was hinting that i should ask her out
:/
<TheMage> barnaby: ask ExZippo for advice.
<ExZippo> barnaby: Punch her in the tit.
<TheMage> barnaby: or not.

tavilach: i could just block you now
tavilach: and never
tavilach: talk to u again
tavilach: but no
tavilach: i need help with samba
CzarDerivative: you asshole

<EggdropBot> {MoxQuizz} The question no. 24 by OllyPomm is:
<EggdropBot> (Sport) What sport do the following terms belong
to - "Toucher & Dead Length"?
<liz> ouch, my boobs hurt
<EggdropBot> {MoxQuizz} liz solved after 5 seconds and now has
<5> points (+1) on rank 3.
<EggdropBot> The answer was: Lawn or Indoor Bowls
<Reuven> Say what?
<liz> what?
<Ken> whaaaat?
<Ken> how...did...she...do...that?

<DeathPool> You know that internet culture has reached its
peak when the first comment on a news post about an ape that
walks upright is: HILARY DUFF APE SEX!

<brokenpodium> dude im about to talk to some kid from my high
school that tried to kill himself when he got drunk
<JaaLin> thats fucked up
<brokenpodium> im going to ask if he wants to get hammered
with me

insane_elmo88: sometimes i get serious anal pressure
insane_elmo88: and i'm not sure if it's fart or shit
insane_elmo88: and sometimes i just gamble, not knowing if i'm
gonna rip a humonguous fart or defecate my pants
insane_elmo88: so far i haven't lost
weaselmaster07: rofl
insane_elmo88: i've shit my pants every time :p
weaselmaster07: roflmao

<_rev> in fact, i've gotten further with my sister than anyone
i know

MuffinMn626 [9:58 PM]:  FUCK PEOPLE
MuffinMn626 [9:58 PM]:  i jsut got fucked over
Jin Iz Back [9:59 PM]:  what happened this time
MuffinMn626 [10:01 PM]:  bah
MuffinMn626 [10:01 PM]:  you no faustina right?
MuffinMn626 [10:01 PM]:  well like, she signed on
MuffinMn626 [10:01 PM]:  and she told me that she liked me at
the end of the year
MuffinMn626 [10:02 PM]:  so im like "wow..thats really cool,
im flattered"
MuffinMn626 [10:02 PM]:  and we got all talkign and shit
MuffinMn626 [10:02 PM]:  then she sigend off randomly
Jin Iz Back [10:02 PM]:  ...
Jin Iz Back [10:02 PM]:  uh huh
MuffinMn626 [10:02 PM]:  she jsut signed on right now..and i
said "hey, why you sign off so suddnley last night?"
MuffinMn626 [10:02 PM]:  she siad "i wasnt on last night..my
cousin was..why?"
MuffinMn626 [10:02 PM]:  AOIRNOAFOAWN FUCK
MuffinMn626 [10:02 PM]:  damnit
Jin Iz Back [10:02 PM]:  ROFLMAO YOU GOT SERVED
Jin Iz Back [10:02 PM]:  HOLY SHIt

jdayish: what do you think of bush and kerry
perfectblue_halo: the movie trailer for Aliens Versus Predator
comes to mind... "Whoever wins, we lose."

Demonic: .............  Whoah, this conversation just took the
offramp into Pervert Pike, going a good 80 mph even.
Demonic: Not that I'm entirely against such a happening.
YRS: niehter am I
YRS: lol
YRS: I could go for a good hentai right about now
Demonic: Good ole hentai, glossing over Japan's major social
problems since 1946.

<Jesus> oh mean, my underwear elastic thing just came off
<MoonKatz> haha
<MoonKatz> mine's painted on, no elastic to worry with
<MoonKatz> although, the way the paint is flaking, I've been
considering updating to aluminum siding
<Jesus> aluminum siding?
<Jesus> jesus, your underwear is more classy than my home

20:15 < Nitrocld> FUCK
20:15 < Nitrocld> NO
20:15 < Nitrocld> NOT PORN
20:15 < Nitrocld> I coulda had someone behind me
20:16 < Nitrocld> Bastard
20:16 < acid> lmao
20:16 < acid> hehe
20:21 <@guk> porn is jokes tho
20:21 <@guk> "Well son ... lets have a man to ... holy shit
she has big tits"
20:21 <@guk> :D

(@sml) jesus
(@sml) Bizarre & Weird Porn Links < PenisBot... Fetish Bloody
pussy pics of teens changing menstrual tampons & pads, +
tampon eating. A Sex With a Twist Interesting and unusual porn
- midgets, twins, latex ...
(@sml) anytime you think something's too weird to be on the
intarweb
(@sml) it is there
(@sml) and pushing >> 85mbit of movie bandwidth, fo sho
(@sml) ugh
(@sml) that's fuckin gross, even for me
(@mamba_X) tampon eating urk
(@mamba_X) way to get your iron i guess
(Blaxthos) only someone who has gone down on his girlfriend
after pucking her cherry the night before would think of that
(@Sabboth) or someone who has earned their red wings
(@pachell) that's some fucking filthy shit
(@pachell) i'll fuck a bitch on the rag, but that's about it
(Blaxthos) it was an accident
(Blaxthos) or call it lack of forethought

Rob: But I'm not horny.
Tiffany: pretend
Tiffany: girls do all the time

<mojo1701> I remember being in class, and the teacher started
talking to us about communicable diseases
<mojo1701> our teacher's a real whore
<mojo1701> and she kept on saying to us: "Flies can carry
diseases. You don't know where they've been"
<mojo1701> and I looked at her and said, "Then you should stop
unzipping so many of them if you don't know where they've
been."

arabella: you don't wear thongs bcuase they're comfy, you wear
thongs becuase your boy likes them.
arabella: it's advertising.
firewalk: in some cases, false advertising.

<Robot> I heard that a lemon is a good contraceptive.
<end_game> yeah mate,
<end_game> i heardit's actually tested to be better protection
than a condom
<Robot> Really????
<end_game> yeah. you can't get a lemon pregnant.
<Robot> ahahaha
<Robot> No harm in trying it. Might sting a bit.
<end_game> you or her?
<Robot> She can get her own god damn lemon.

<Xenecrite> wanna hear a joke?
<Xenecrite> Women's Rights
<Lone_wolf_gurl> you have 5 seconds to start running.