* badlands dials phone-a-hooker
<WhitAdept> phone brb

lab_rat_inph3ct3d: spiderman isnt the only one who gets his
hands sticky on the web

<LadyHitomi> save a tree eat a beaver

<holgie> One day a husband and wife were in the bathroom,The
wife was getting out of the shower   and the husband grabs her
boobs and says "If these were firmer you wouldn`t need a bra."
The wife was repulsed by his behavior and ignores him. The
next week the two are again in the bathroom and while the wife
was getting out of the shower he grabs her ass and says "If
your ass was firmer you wouldn`t need a girdle." The wife is
now pissed and is ploting her revenge. One day a week later
the husband is getting out of the shower and the wife grabs
his dick and says "If this was a little bit bigger I wouldn`t
need your brother."

<T-Dragonus> Man: "Hey, Baby, I'd sure like to get in your
pants!"
<T-Dragonus> Woman: "No, thanks, I've already got one ass-hole
in there now."

<T-Dragonus> There was a young fellow named Bliss
<T-Dragonus> Whose sex life was strangely amiss,
<T-Dragonus>         For even with Venus
<T-Dragonus>         His recalcitrant penis
<T-Dragonus> Would never do better than t
<T-Dragonus>                            h
<T-Dragonus>                            i
<T-Dragonus>                            s
<T-Dragonus>                            .

LoCo643: if you masterbate to the same girl more then 10
times, it is ok to call them your girlfriend
LoCo643: its a rule

<DEADGIRL> IM BACK NIGGERS
<J0SH> u spelt black wrong

<zerox-> who has paypal
<KermyAWAY> thousands upon thousands of people
<zerox-> ok who has paypal that would be willing to do me a
favor
<KermyAWAY> no one
<zerox-> ok let me rephrase it 1 more time
* SNguyen sets mode: +o zerox-
<@zerox-> who wants to do me a favor or else be banned

Nick: yeah the other day i was late for work and kinda
half-pushed this lady over
Nick: like, the lady fell completely over
Nick: but i was only half responsible

NgOs_WiLL: how many feminists does it take to change a
lightbulb?
NgOs_WiLL: One to change it and fifteen to form a support
group!
E30SupeR: it's a trick question - feminists can't change
anything.

[+MrCow] linux=allah
[+MrCow] people like it but are scared to say it
[+MrCow] then you get the random people
[+MrCow] who run in with bombs screaming LINNUXXXXXXX WINDOWS
SUCKS LINNUXXXXXXX

<+Aegis> fried chicken and malt liquor
<+Onic> what you using fried chicken and malt liquor for other
than the obvious Aegis
<+Aegis> bait
<+Aegis> my TV was stolen

<WarrioR> The Weakest Link) is fascinating program. They ask a
bunch of people questions and they keep getting rid of the
dumbest person, so just the smartest person is left. It is
kind of the opposite way we elect a president.

<@topsoil> The College Jeopardy winner wagered $1,337 in Final
Jeopardy... seems more like the geek hero to me :)
<@topsoil> I was hoping he'd come back and lose and then Alex
would be like, "Sorry to say this...but you wagered $1337 and
lost, which now means, *holds up sign* 'j00 4r3 n0t 1337.'"
<@topsoil> Either that or Alex would just look at him and say,
"pwn3d".

<KK> Anyone here speak Spanish?
<ste> i do
<KK> Shut up.  You can't even speak English.
<ste> thats cuz i spanish

< RichiH> so, there was this big "companies tell you how great
they are" day, today. to make sure people went from stand to
stand, you had to pick up small stickers, put them on a A4
sheet and if you collected all of them, filled out your name,
et al, you had a chance to win a kickass laptop
< RichiH> when it was time for the drawing, the roon was
packed. i would guess about 1000 people, a bit more, perhaps..
< RichiH> they draw the winner and someone i personally can
not stand wins the laptop
< RichiH> he walks down to the laptop and is happy as a clam.
he needs to show his student id so they know he really does
study here
* RichiH hears needle drop, everyone is listening to me.
badger badger badger
< asg> yes
< asg> :)
< Phated> Go on.
< RichiH> so anyway, that guy mentions the id is from last
semester. the other guy says that should not be too much of a
problem and asks the room about it. not really serious, just a
side pun
< RichiH> about 1000 voices shout "NO!" at the same time
< RichiH> guy is sent back, another one is drawn, show over
< RichiH> we were laughing so hard.. :)

<Tinted_Green> "oh lord who is idling in #heaven, 1337 be your
skillz"

<PuddleDuck> God damn it times have changed
<PuddleDuck> ah, there was once a time when we were called
secret admirers
<PuddleDuck> but now we are just called stalkers :(

<Aryk> i need to make a shirt.... "You're so much sexier when
you just SHUT UP!"

<Whiffles> Quit thinking!!
<God> I'm sorry.  *becomes christian*

Gamerman2601: (>^_(>O.o)> HOMOSEXUAL KIRBY
Gamerman2601: :D
Gamerman2601: lol
Hachi: XD
Gamerman2601: (>^_(>^_(>O_o) THREESOME!
Hachi: oh god
Gamerman2601: :D
Gamerman2601: (>^-^)> ~~ (>^-^)> ~~ <(;;o_o;;)> ~~ <(^_^<) ~~
<(^_^<) KIRBY BUKKAKE!
Hachi: XD]

<@ping> my ex was Mennonite
<@ping> well, is
<Xolution> What the hell does being from Minnesota have to do
with anything?
<@ping> are you really that stupid?

<Jay 2 da K> no ill probably just get it for christmas
<cyberkk21> hah you jesus boy
<Jay 2 da K> what are you getting for ramadan, besides hungry

David> Mexicans are some hardworking motherfuckers.
David> This area LOVES mexicans.
David> Because of all the farms and such around here.
David> Particularly the mushroom farms.
David> It's hard to find workers for such places
David> But those fuckers could put together a house in a few
hours if they'd never picked up a hammer before
David> As opposed to white people
David> Who would think about it for a few seconds
David> Then call the contractor
David> Who would assign a foreman
David> Who would hire mexicans to do it

<[UCR]FYZZIX> CAPS LOCK: ITS LIKE THE CRUISE CONTROL FOR
AWESOME

<ik0n:#2600> It doesn't take much more then a bored college
student, and an ounce of pot to spawn a new warez network.

<f|ywork> 1 of our students has got himself in a spot of
bother. He booked out a dv cam and a firewire hard drive from
the helpdesk, then videoed some chick giving him head and
forgot to delete it from the hd when he returned it
<TBBwork> do u have a copy of this video?
<f|ywork> it's rendering in premiere as we speak

<SupaShaD> i hate it when people invite me to eat dinner at
their house
<SupaShaD> cuz then i have to act all polite and shit
<SupaShaD> when all i really wanna do is eat the food and then
go fuck their daughter

spE4Ce pREtZEL01: how do I end up being a therapist for all my
old gfs
OMGIMJ4KE: comes with the territory
OMGIMJ4KE: same thing happened with mine
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: not that I mind, I love 'em all
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: collect 'em, trade 'em, show 'em to your
friends
OMGIMJ4KE: gotta catch em all
spE4Ce pREtZEL01: Wendymon, I choose you! Bipolar attack!
OMGIMJ4KE: "Im happy! Now im sad!"
OMGIMJ4KE: Monster is confused!

<tHiSiSbOb> I just lost a friend... He got into a car
accident... Young people can die too. I just played starcraft
with him the other day....
<black_mage_s> Well, there is always the single player
campaign.

<Zeroblitzt> My seat at the Rush concert sucked :(
<TheDarthster> was it at the front?

<MikeH> hey nirgle, since youve worked with php and im
guessing have done a bit with sessions, whats the easiest way
to keep track of multiple form entries spaced out among
multiple pages, and then at the end when all is said and done,
write said form entries to a text file ?
<nirgle> hmm, i'll think about it in the shower
<nirgle> brb
--time passes--
<nirgle> i lost my train of thought in the shower
<nirgle> and was thinking about lawn gnomes
<nirgle> sorry

<FuRiOuS1> how bout a place where u can post something u need,
like an answer to a question, or something, anything. this
will all be categorized. ppl can post replies
<FuRiOuS1> help eachother
<braindancer> newsgroups?
<braindancer> forums?
<FuRiOuS1> fuck

<lou> remember, as long as our balls don't touch it's not GAY

<Dee> A man walked along and saw a ladder going up into the
heavens
<Dee> he climbed up a ladder and saw an ugly woman
<Dee> the woman said: 'Take me now or climb the ladder to
success'
<Dee> the man got freaked out and started climbing the ladder
frantically
<Dee> on the next level, he saw a plain looking woman
<Dee> the woman said: 'Take me now or climb the ladder to
success'
<Dee> seeing a pattern here, the man climbs the ladder again
<Dee> on the next ladder, he saw a really hot woman, very
beautiful and sexy
<Dee> the woman said: 'Take me now or climb the ladder to
success'
<Dee> the man is tempted, but thinks, 'If the woman is hot
here, imagine what it would be like in the next level!' and he
climbs the ladder
<Dee> on that level there was this fat ugly hell's angel, with
a fucking long beard, piercings and decorated with tattoos
<Dee> the man screamed "who the fuck are you?!"
<Dee> the hell's angel said "i am cess"

<inertia> i was looking up russian shirts on ebay
<inertia> my lithuanian friend has gotten lots of marxist/
socialist stuff off of there
<inertia> they sell red beach towels with a yellow insignia of
the sickle and hammer for like 20 bucks
<inertia> i might buy one
<Bl1tz> lol
<Bl1tz> that is sweet
<Bl1tz> although painfully ironic
<inertia> how??
<Bl1tz> paying 20$ for a towel that has a symbol of everything
that was wrong with paying 20$ for a towel

<Invictus> Which professions are you getting?
<Shadow> huh?
<Invictus> I told you to read the manual. =p
<Shadow> I got drunk instead.

<Wafflehaus> Name someone not involved in politics
<@Baldfresh> george bush

<The_Fallen> He, two years ago we were at the computer lab and
my friends, a dumbass farmer, wrote in the adress bar : "I
wanna see a website about car, please, thanks alot"
<The_Fallen> Oh, My, Fucking, God.

<Gladiator> Jesus christ, my mom is so fucking stupid
<Gladiator> She was complaining to me about how "all the
french stereotype us"

<Thanatos> Let me touch your bountiful lips once more ere I
plonge into the emptyness that the world is without your touch
<Musashi> translation: suck me, woman

(+teh|irc) infact the smartest thing that came out of her
mouth was my dick

<CrazyHarij> But stuff like that messes up your mind.. try
imagining what really is outside the universe and stuff like
that.. or what happened before big bang / the creation, and
before that and before that
<BadHat> yeah, and where the fuck the remote's at

<%TTK> How would I start overclocking
<mikeszewil> don't know
<+Fizban30> first
<+Fizban30> open the box
<+Fizban30> make sure its on
<+Fizban30> and stick a knife in random spots
<+Fizban30> when you feel the zap your done

<Joghurt^> hell yeah i want some lego porn

<MessedRocker> In Hawai'i, the age [of concent] is 14
<Anakha> brb hawaii

(Cap`nRoy) I hate salt
(Cap`nRoy) but I am the saltiest of the sea-dogs
(KaLdAiS712) If you were to lick Cap`nRoy, you would die of
salt.
(KaLdAiS712) Also several venerial diseases.

<Flatland> turducken should not exist
<Anomaly> Eh?
<Flatland> a duck stuffed inside a chicken stuffed inside a
turkey
<Flatland> the ultimate example of our domination of the
animal kingdom

<MaxPowers87>               (  SUN   )   o   o   o<-Earth  
o   ( ) -(-)-  o    o    .