<deltabravo> ughh, this beer is terrible.
<deltabravo> it's a bad sign when the beer company isn't
running any sweepstakes, yet all the lids
say 'SORRY' underneath them :<

<mattbuck> !pball
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> i would start by kissin you
softly on your lips
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> whilst undoin your shirt
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> then i wud move down your neck
and start kissing your chest
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> all the while i woould be
undoin your belt and your trousers
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> i would then rekease your long
hard throbbin cock from your underware
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> and move my tongue down from
your chest to your waist onto your penix
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> *penis
<mattbuck> not that one AGAIN!
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> then i wud give u the best
head of your life
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> and i will let your
imagination take you from there
<mattbot2> | !pball 10 | <Peel> NOW can i have my ops back?

<redbud> so i was sitting there listening to some ska with
your girlfriend
<redbud> then all of a sudden she started making sexual
advances towards me
<Micah> wait a second
<Micah> nobody listens to ska

NipokNek: I can tell it's christmas time cause my p2p programs
are serving more xmas music and less porn. :D

<Patrick`> holy crap, I'm 20 on wednesday
<Patrick`> I'd better get pregnant in the next 5 days or I'll
miss out on the best part of being a teen

<diegost> omfg lol
<diegost> i tried to change my gmail pass to "boobies" and it
went like...
<diegost> "please use another password, the one you hv just
entered is very used on the internet" ^^

<FireCat> Hmm, just wondered if using Windows, IIS, Mysql, and
PHP would be called a WiMP platform :)
<modn> roflmfao

[ Stryker  ) OMGZ ASLZ
[ Stryker  ) ^_^
[ AnFguy   ) omg like
[ AnFguy   ) 14/f/naked
[ Stryker  ) omg like
[ Stryker  ) 13/f/OMG
[ Stryker  ) w/ pix ^_^
[ AnFguy   ) pix u say>
[ AnFguy   ) we should do tradsies
[ Stryker  ) omgz you have piz too?!?!
[ Stryker  ) HERE_THEY_ARE_JPG.EXE

<F7> nifty
<F7> its nice to have a working laptop again
<F7> now i can be unproductive anywhere

<PetrDoubt> By the way, you misspelled "B4s74rd."
<B4s73rd> no way
<PetrDoubt> way
<PetrDoubt> It's easy to spell if you remember it has "74rd"
in it.

<Stapler[BTEG]>  When British police conducted a drug raid
during a party at Keith Richards' Redlands estate in 1967,
they found Mick Jagger eating a Mars bar out of Marianne
Faithfull's vagina.
<Stapler[BTEG]> FALSE
<Fortyseven[BTEG]> Who hasn't done that?
<Fortyseven[BTEG]> Oh.
<Tristan> It was a snickers.
<indigoflo> i heard thats how you catch genital hersheys

<Auratus> I'm making fun of you because I can
<DeepSeaFishin> Well its thanksgiving
<DeepSeaFishin> and we should be giving thanks to each other
<Auratus> I give thanks for the fact that i can make fun of
you over the internet

<CrazyMAC> i wish i liked whiskey
<CrazyMAC> then i could drink it and stop shaving and look
tough

<feste_> I had a traditional thanks giving..invited the
neighbors over for dinner..then killed them and took their
land!!

<Ark> whats burnt to a crisp and sits at the top of a
staircase?
<Mattyoo> ???
<leoN> wha?
<Ark> christopher reeves in a house fire
<leoN> dude that is not cool

<conVict> omg my older bro is a bastard
<conVict> it's mum's birthday, and he set up a treasure hunt
for her to find her gift
<conVict> she went all aroudn the house. up and down the
stairs
<conVict> finally found the final clue
<maxi> lol
<conVict> it was a picture of goatse
<maxi> ROFL!!!!
<conVict> mum started crying
<conVict> he got banned from the comp for a month

<Phil> i wish my girlfriend was into DDR
<knuck> i wish my girlfriend didnt end in .jpg

<@MajorKong> man, it is quiet in here....
<@MajorKong> either you are all asleep in anticipation of
tomorrow's feasting.....
<@MajorKong> or I seriously need to buy stock in kleenex.

Julliana`: I live in LA. Girls like to say "I'm not religious
but I'm spiritual." I like to reply "I'm not honest but you're
interesting."

<Colby> Some people are like Slinkys. They don't really do
anything, but it's still funny when one of them takes a tumble
down the stairs.

Sam Stone:  Blade walk into your parents bedroom totally naked
and covered in wesson oil and weilding a knife. Scream at the
top of your lungs "YOU JUST STAY RIGHT IN THE FUCKING BED OR
I'LL CUT IT~!!!!" then grab your man hammer in a death grip in
shake it at your mom. Whatever she says next, make a quick
downward stab while screaming but don't stab yourself in the
penis for real. Then shuffle over to mom and say "Just kidding
mom, happy easter!" and walk back to your room

<joel`> Penguins are the only fish that can fly

<@Seth> *** How to Create a Religion in 4 easy steps ***
<@Seth> Step 1: Create "god", "evil" and "theories"
<@Seth> Step 2: Write book (should take about a page)
<@Seth> Step 3: Layer on the bullshit (should now be ~1000
pages)
<@Seth> Step 4: Publish and wait for the suckers

Muddin: but in criminal law we were talking about the people
who have to stick they're hands up peoples ass's and search
for drugs
Cancel: Well I guess you could just say its a shitty job

<Ninja>  What if on the next smash there was online gameplay
and for every bodies colors they could have different moves
<TestRider>  What if a op barged in here and banned your ass?
<Ninja>  oh really and who are you?
<@McFox>  Apparently he's a psychic.

< quinn> There are three R's to windows tech support:
"Restart, Reboot, Reinstall"

<`Sesshomaru> can i have a bullet
<CH> only if it comes out the muzzle

<Cedlind> god damn its snowing outside..
<Amnesia> no it's not
<Cedlind> soo.. all this white stuff I got all over me is?
<Cedlind> crap.. shouldn't have said that..

<LAWN|batman[sAs]> the department of homeland security is
making a mockery of the starfleet alert system.

yancan c o o k: im sry man..
yancan c o o k: if u ever need someone
yancan c o o k: u know
yancan c o o k: a shoulder to cry on
yancan c o o k: or like
yancan c o o k: someone to talk to
yancan c o o k: then
yancan c o o k: go fuck urself
yancan c o o k: cuz thats not me

<Justin> I just thought of a great game.
<Justin> A bunch of men stand naked in a room, facing a TV
<Justin> Gay porn is played.
<Justin> IF you get an erection, you're out of the game.
<Justin> And the last guy without an erection wins.
<Justin> "Last Man not Standing"

Americanyankee: True or False? I have a really big penis...
who ever gets the right answer gets 500gil
Cookiemonster: False
Ziegfried: false
Tyechmo: haha looks like your out 1000 gil

ProfessorOhki: oh, ud get a kick out of this
ProfessorOhki: cisco guy came to talk to my class
ProfessorOhki: (lecture hall)
thepieisabomb: ya
ProfessorOhki: and he goes "i ask this ever year out of
curiosity, who has the most media collected and served?"
ProfessorOhki: no one wants to raise hands
ProfessorOhki: one guy rasies his hand
ProfessorOhki: "how many gigs of media do you have shared?"
ProfessorOhki: guy: "about 3.6 terrabytes"
ProfessorOhki: i swear the cisco guys heart stopped for a sec

<kai> dwi
<pancakguy> dealing with intent?
<Nosnam> lol, dealing with intent?
<Nosnam> Is it possible to deal without intent? SHIT OFFICER,
I ACCIDENTLY SOLD SOME POT

<FriedGold> Gentlemen... welcome to recursion club.  The first
rule is: you do not talk about recursion club.  The next rule
is: see first rule.

<Graham> Let's say you have an ax. The kind that you could
use, in a pinch, to hack a man's head off...
<Graham> And let's say that very situation comes up and for
some very solid reasons you behead a man.
<Graham> On the follow-through, though, the handle of the ax
snaps in half in a spray of splinters.
<Graham> So the next day you take it to the ax store down the
block and get a new handle, fabricating a story for the guy
behind the counter and explaining away the reddish dark stains
as barbeque sauce.
<Graham> Now, that next spring you find in your garage a
creature that looks like a cross-bred badger and anaconda. A
badgerconda.
<Graham> And so you grab your trusty ax and chop off one of
the beast's heads, but in the process the blade of the ax
strikes the concrete floor and shatters.
<Graham> This means another trip to McMillan & Son's Ax Mart.
As soon as you get home with your newly-headed ax, though, you
meet the reanimated body of the guy you beheaded last year.
<Graham> He's also got a new head attached and it's wearing
that unique expression of "you're the man who killed me last
Spring" resentment that one so rarely encounters in everyday
life.
<Graham> You brandish your ax. He takes a long look at the
weapon with his squishy, rotting eyes and in a gargly voice he
screams, "that's the same ax that slayed me!"
<Graham> ...Is he right?

halfbakedbuzzard: ahah, my next door neighbors house is on
fire
halfbakedbuzzard: brb, gotta get the camera

Vince: I just need a lot of vaseline for the next few days
Kint: ........

<Shiggy1> OMG
<Shiggy1> Ive just discovered something
<Shiggy1> !
<Shiggy1> !
<kFraction> the exclaimation key?

<the_muss> New Game!  add the word "anal" to the beginning of
car names. Anal Jamboree, Anal Explorer, Anal Pulsar, Anal
Prelude, Anal Adventurer, Anal Legacy, Anal Nexus, Anal Swift
<pyrophoric> lol, Anal Jazz, Anal Ram, Anal Probe
<iuqcaj> Anal Bandit, Anal Forester, Anal Laser, Anal Escort,
Anal Sovereign, Anal Beetle, Anal Golf, Anal Samurai
<the_muss> Anal Eclipse, Anal Discovery, Anal Wrangler, Anal
Ambassador, Anal Vanquish, Anal Vagrant, Anal Diablo
<pie> Comedy Gold... Anal Trooper
<the_muss> lol
<pyrophoric> lmao

JonTG3: ever since i learned internet speak
JonTG3: i've wanted to turn in a 600 word paper that consisted
of my name, the date, a title and 300 instances of OMG TOASTER

<Navy|Scholar> I suppose you people have heard about the
Semantic Web?
<east> yes
<Brawler> Nevar
<east> if you're talking about semantic markup, yes
<ignatios> yeah
<Hokaloogie> Is that something to do with Jews?

<CG> well paint me green and call me gumby

<TIK_> Feck.. my machine just caught fire.. still going tho..
<-- TIK_ has quit (Quit)

<Monsoon`> They could make a TV show about IRC.  Call it
"American Idle"

I am Jeremiadine: i just left a message on smith's cellphone
in binary
Sela: Fun.
I am Jeremiadine: yeah
I am Jeremiadine: the best part is even if he decodes it it's
in french
I am Jeremiadine: ...i'm bored

<krazy> Have any of you weighed yourselves before and after
you shit?
<Wanderer> ... Why would we want to know how much our shit
weighed?
<krazy> Well, it's helped me prove that, despite everyone's
claims, I'm not full of shit.

<Raab> How's Half Life 2 treating you?
<Ashpolt> I would say like a woman
<Ashpolt> but women hate me

notorious phake: everybody gets mistaken for a whale at least
once in their life
notorious phake: it just happens to her a whole lot more

[ @Jesper ] windows is really secure, they just hid the close
exploits check box very well