chewp: so i have to make a movie for chinese class
ransom: must be a pretty short movie huh?
chewp: fucker...

scuttlemonkey: This [face recognition] technology should speed
airport check-ins, but it could also be used in banks or for
checking ID cards as it allows full identification in less
than one second.
mcc: Great, I can't wait until the day when I get punched in
the face, and suddenly I can't use ATMs anymore.

<Coma.> I'm drawing a pony for my friend
<Coma.> Except I can't draw so basicly I am drawing a horse
only making it look small.
<Coma.> Because a pony is basicly just a little horse.
<Fish> wtf?  No they aren't!
<Fish> That's like saying a midget's a person!!

<Alex>      i
<Alex> f       s h
<Alex>   t   c  k  s
<Alex> s     i
<Laila> ...what is he trying to do?
<Reiz0r> Trying to make a fish from fishsticks.
<Reiz0r> It's MODERN ART
<Reiz0r> It's the true pesonification of the juxtaposition of
the sombre emotion that the world of man made aesthetics is
slowly and irrevokably destroy the nature of that which is ...
<Reiz0r> Something
<Reiz0r> Modern art doesn't have to look like much. It just
needs an explanation with lots of long words

<sceadu> i really need to figure out how to use a debugger in
emacs
<iank> pfft, how could you *not* know?
<iank> It's just ctrl+alt+meta+f7+numlock+c+e+m+<
<iank> Hell, you could discover that by accident in emacs..

<who> i can't watch brokeback mountain for the same reason i
can't watch horror movies
<who> i would scream "HE'S RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!" in the middle
of the theater

Tanith: Today was so fucked up; in science we have a really
hot teacher and she was bending over talking to a student and
this other kid stood behined her and pretended to hump her and
i was standing glarign at him coz i have a thing for her.
Tanith: she fucking turned around and saw me staring
Tanith:....now she thinks im a pervert :(

<Towzzer> hey ufo
<ufo8mydog> hey ugly
<Towzzer> that's not my nick
<ufo8mydog> sorry, i'm a faceperson, not a nameperson
<Towzzer> ouch

<notjoe> yesterday i brought my cat to the vet since he wasnt
peeing. So, the vet forced him to pee by putting pressure on
his bladder but i swear i saw his finger was on the my cats
asshole
<tripsta> did he put his finger in his mouth after
<samurai_> did he light up a smoke?
<notjoe> no and no
<notjoe> but there was no need to be fingering the cats ass by
doing what he was doing
<notjoe> this other time he commented on how nice the cats
testicles were

Tammy: julia is having to cancel lunch, her uncle was murdered
tladd: :O
Tammy: you want to do lunch :)
tladd: sure.

bcreasy: come check this out
gbarnes: no
bcreasy: *shiny thing*
gbarnes: oh, be right there

Stacy: Raymond is correct.
Raymond: I always am
Esuna: Raymond, what number am I thinking of?
Raymond: Esuna, you're not thinking of a number
Raymond: You're thinking of something to say when I do say a
number.
Esuna: Damn it! How'd you know?

castuslumen: whats the name of those hats that Green Berets
wear?
foranzan: are you being stupid on purpose?
castuslumen: what?
foranzan: you are officially the Rolls Royce of stupid.

* Acetal changes topic to 'Snakes! In a movie theatre!'
<Acetal> There's an idea for a promotion.

Banjax: dude, totally hilarious, I'm walking down the street
and around the corner I see these people protesting outside a
coat shop that sells fur coats. They had buckets of red paint
TurboJesusDELUXE: oh boy
Banjax: this one woman comes around the other corner wearing a
fur coat of her own. The whole crowd turns on her like wolves
on a lamb, and the closest girl with a bucket of paint throws
it on her
Banjax: so she's dripping with paint and starts screaming like
she's been shot, and then she's like "it's a fake fur coat,
you dumb bitch!"
Banjax: and without missing a beat the other chick says
"that's okay, it's fake blood"
TurboJesusDELUXE: HAHA, awesome

bananza: i feel bad for ugly people
rotino: empathyy
bananza: yeah
bananza: like a lot
rotino: look up empathy
bananza: oh fuck u

<DooMGoaT> OMG
<DooMGoaT> SQUASH THE SPIDER AND WIN AN XBOX 360!
<DooMGoaT> shame none of the 360 games are as good as the
spider squashy banner

< Redb3ard> so, im using this godawful slow pcanywhere
connection
< Redb3ard> 2 hours to scroll through a list, check off the
things i need to
< Redb3ard> idiot customer comes along, closes the window at
97% done
< Redb3ard> doesnt minimize it, closes it
< Redb3ard> so i locked the keyboard, blanked the screen, and
locked it like that

EvILpYRoMaNiA: my dad tried to sit on my lap: he tackled me
off my chair.
EvILpYRoMaNiA: dog*
EvILpYRoMaNiA: shit
EvILpYRoMaNiA: that was the worst typo ever.

<jimmy_> i use norton
<BoltBait> Norton's is the most annoying anti virus software
ever!
<jimmy_> what do you meen? i hardly notice notice its there
<BoltBait> Really? Then it's probably not working.
<jimmy_> ...
<jimmy_> u may be right
<jimmy_> the tray icon isnt there anymore
<jimmy_> shit!

<Shard>: I think my GF is pregnant...
<Sapphon>: You should pimp her out to cover the abortion, she
cant get pregnant twice ;).
<Shard>: ....

<spazdor> how do you get a Cisco Certified Network
Administrator off your porch?
<cnug> ...?
<spazdor> pay for your pizza

Ziggy: Everytime I hear a strange noise, I have a zombie panic
attack.
Lusty: what is it with you and zombies?!
Ziggy: Are you not afraid of zombies?
Lusty: they don't exist.
Ziggy: That's what they think in movies too.
Ziggy: Right before the invasion.

<@Quasi> I feel like my life is a movie.
<@Quasi> But it's being shown on TV.
<@Quasi> So all the sex scenes are cut.

<Sneux_Duck> so today at school we had this guy talking about
sexual predators online and crap like that for a good hour.
and he said something like "girls don't put your pictures
online. these freaks will only collect, trade and sell them"
and i said a bit too loudly "gotta catch 'em all"
<Sneux_Duck> he was the only one not laughing...

<meeb> what the fuck
<meeb> highly religious client just rang up
<meeb> wants us to automatically take their website down at
sunset on a friday until sunrise on a monday
<meeb> as using an online shop is bad and evil over the
sabbath

<puertoroo> so, i was at the store and the hot female clerk
was checking me out and stuff
<puertoroo> then we came back to my place and tore my bedroom
up
<puertoroo> then we did it on the stove and then on the
washing machine
<HuhWhat> And in the real world, what happened?
<puertoroo> ....i never even made it to the store :(

<Revolution|AngeL> he thinks because we idle 4 of the same
channels
<Revolution|AngeL> we're somehow friends
<Revolution|AngeL> i dont even know how it started.
<Revolution|AngeL> a casual glance here
<Revolution|AngeL> a soft touch there
<Revolution|AngeL> gentle, warm and caring chatting.
<Revolution|AngeL> brokeback irc.
<Revolution|AngeL> i wish i knew how to /quit you

<Whittney> does anyone know what the C++ test tomorrow covers
<Arc> chapters 1-16
<Whittney> thats up to waht exactly
<Whittney> then end of arrays...or does that inclue char?
<Arc> um...linear integration of the Hermholtz plasma
intereferometry function
<Arc> as applied to post-modern dadist theories
<Whittney> wtf are u talking about
<Arc> I could ask you the same...have you even attended the
course?? 0_o

<Benjula> Dude, I thought of the best name for a Christian rap
CD ever
<Benjula> The RhapCD

Vfirthd: someday, I'm going to be great.
Vfirthd: someday, I will have all the money I want and no
financial trouble
Vfirthd: and I'll have a great, big house with a laptop and
high fi stero systems
Vfirthd: oh, and I'll have a job that I love so much, and make
a good profit from
Vfirthd: and at that great job that I love, I'll find the
lovely woman of my dreams...
Vfirthd: yeah...someday...
GeniusChef: You work at a McDonalds, don't you?
Vfirthd: Burger King

Laudanum: I think my ability to communicate has gone downhill.
kaltegeburt: I don't understand.

<corncob> I was in networking class
<corncob> and the disccussion randomly turned to personal
freedoms.
<corncob> some girl said there should be a law against parents
smoking around kids to keep them from encouraging them to
smoke
<corncob> and someone else counters with "Well, I saw my
parents having sex all the time and I'm still a virgin!"

* Qwyxzl growls at his connection
* Furion sees his virus is working.
* Qwyxzl gets out his Furion voodoo doll
* Furion Quit (Ping timeout)
<Elessa> whoa!

<Varka> cds are made of pikachu skins
<Orcinus> is that why they turn to lightning in the microwave?
:D
<Varka> Yes.

<JasonM> Oh my god.
<JasonM> I was at the train station today, and this REALLY EMO
GUY comes up to me and asks me if i have a lighter
<JasonM> So i get it out and go to light it
<JasonM> Then his fucking fringe catches on fire
<aikon> LOL!
<JasonM> I pissbolted.
<JasonM> I'm scared of going back there tomorrow and seeing a
burned emo corpse on the ground

<jjccp> i broke my leg
<jjccp> masturbating is evil
<[Slaryn> O_O I hope to god those two incidents weren't
related

<Fenris> Man..
<Fenris> I need to get a monitor
<W1N9Zr0> yeah, stop guessing what's on the screen

Erik: wow sad, mexico beat u.s. in baseball
Erik: well, then again, them mexicans sure are able to get
things past fences

Ignus Firestorm: Do that shit again and I'm getting back on my
other SN.
Ignus Firestorm: And you'll never hear from me again.
Ignus Firestorm: =]
CanYouSaySanity:  Oh...darn....
CanYouSaySanity:  ...
CanYouSaySanity: That was by far, the worst threat in the
history of mankind.
CanYouSaySanity: It wouldn't even work on France.

<yogurt1> dude, the saddest thing happend today. My mom woke
me up at fucking 9 in the morning, cause our garbage can blew
open and spread it all around the street. So I throw on
clothes and go out to clean. It takes me fucking 2 hours to
finish it. Then some punk kid comes by and kicks it over, and
it all blows away again. I go up to this kid and I say "You
stupud fuck clean it" this punk ass kid says to me "haha fuck
that".
<yogurt1> I couldn't hear him because I had earmuffs but I
knew thats what the kid says. So after mouthing off I punch
the kid in the face and walk home. like an hour later the kids
mom comes to the door and says shes going to sue me for
punching...her 13 year old daughter.
<benji443> HAHA LMAO!
<jiirco> ROFL YOU PUNCHED A GIRL!!!!!!!!!
<yogurt1> She was wearing a hat and a hood for fuck sakes!

kaytodaizzik: that's like my outlook on life
kaytodaizzik: "cautious optimism"
kaytodaizzik: It's like, I'm pretty sure the Sun will rise
tomorrow.
kaytodaizzik: But chances are someone's gonna try and fuck me
kaytodaizzik: So I wear sunglasses and a buttplug.

<samsim> I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at
the zoo
<samsim> and got mauled
<samsim> and people were talking about how there should have
been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the
cage
<samsim> a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of
deterrent
<samsim> for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in
the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in

<TSPhoenix> You're so lame that you can encode mp3s.

Newzfoxjr: Holy shit dude
Newzfoxjr: my friend ding dong door bell ditched a house
across the street
Newzfoxjr: he ran to a bush and hid, the guy answered and he
was dressed up in a freaking S&M suit
Newzfoxjr: so my friend comes out of the bush, looks at him,
AND GOES INTO HIS FREAKING HOUSE.
Newzfoxjr: it's been like 2 hours

mac: LOL the vending machine at school hate blacks!
mac: I was waiting in line behind three black guys
mac: they each put in their money press the same button and
nothing happens
mac: I walk up put in my money press the same button and four
Dr.Peppers fall out!

<b3nz0rz>: A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my
suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for
that jacket?" I said "I didn't know there were any witnesses.
Now I'll have to kill you too".

* Gakl grumbles.
<Gakl> you can put linux on an ipod, but you can't access an
ipod from linux. blech
<Summoner> well yeah.  Porting an OS gives a much bigger
epenis than porting an IO driver

<gwizz> there were just 2 police cars in front of my neighbors
house right
<gwizz> and i was watching from my room and i told my dad, so
he goes and opens the front door to look
<gwizz> but he didnt know the alarm was set, so it goes off
<gwizz> my mom turns it off, and then one of the policemen
come over and were like 'did we go to the wrong house?'

<Darius> What's a round number?
<Archy> 0