<DaWiteBuddha> im leaving for your house now
<AlazrianLeth> take your time, i have to bathe
<DaWiteBuddha> how long does that take
<AlazrianLeth> depends
<DaWiteBuddha> ballpark?
<AlazrianLeth> wrigley field
<DaWiteBuddha> ...god i actually shook my fist at the
screen...

<Frankstar> I am so fucking pissed. This one guy sold me his
air guitar on ebay for 70 dollars and I still havent fucking
received shit.

<[BAD]Beef> I AM SO SMART
<[BAD]Beef> follow my reasoning
<[BAD]Beef> my comp has no floppy drive
<[BAD]Beef> so I go downstairs to make a boot floppy on
another comp
<[BAD]Beef> I come back in my room with the floppy in my hand
<[BAD]Beef> and bang my head against the wall

<su|school> Last period, we were talking about meth with some
public speaker.
<su|school> ...
<su|school> And I corrected him.
<su|school> :<

< ElAngelo> it's about the most survival city i've been in in
the US
< RedKennedy> survival isn't an adjective.

<ManicV> i'm saying you're racist
<ManicV> and a child molester
<eco|w> You're just jealous of my ability to multitask.

<blue_tetris> 1 in every 5 people are born in China.
<CF|sick> That's why you should never have more than 4
children.

<knob> anything that starts with a "k" on linux is "gay"
<Wyred> heh, same as Konveration
<knob> oh shit
* knob is now known as gnob

* @darklyndsea claws bizarre's eyes out
<@Bizarre> (

<Green> So my gf left me... I feel like a load of shit
<vampireslaya> :(
<death_man> Yeah there are these fuckers on IRC who keep
shitting on about their damn lives... Fucking gay.
<Green> ...
<xxXpronXxx> What the hell?
<death_man> Erm wrong window
<xxXpronXxx> I see
<vampireslaya7> Anything else you want to tell us, bitch?

Delilah> I hate parties, because you have to look good, but if
you look too good other girls get jealous, and if you look not
good enough they talk nasty about you.
[kerrrigan] yeah
[kerrrigan] that never happens at halo parties

< int0x80> oh man today is my lucky day
< int0x80> i ripped this fart, but someone sneezed really loud
at exactly the same time
< int0x80> so nobody heard my fart
<@vom> int0x80: that means an angel got its wings

Nexion: Dustin is so stupid
Nexion: i told him, there is no real proof of god
Nexion: and he goes there doesn't need to be
Nexion: and i said "well then im god"
Nexion: and he goes "prove it."
Nexion: ...

(@DaySleeper) straight people only need gays for the fashion
industry
(@DaySleeper) gay people need straights so they don't die out

<Paine> Ah shit guys, I'm fucked.
<Criosys> ?
<Paine> I was showing my mom the way to download and watch
music on the computer downstairs (yeah, illegal, sue me).
Anyway, I forgot to factor in the fact that there's an option
box to "Search my computer for music files".
<Criosys> and...?
<Paine> What I DIDN'T know, was that it also adds video files.
So about 5 minutes ago, I walked through the living room, saw
my mom and sister at the computer watching the visualisations.
<Paine> On the way back OUT of the room, the song changed, and
all of a sudden, hardcore lesbian porn for my mom and sister
to enjoy.
<Paine> Now they're banging on the door so I'm turning MY
music way up so they can't hear my crying >_<

<Z> Letting XP run for more than a month is like re-using a
condom 50 or 60 times
<Z> Theoretically it can work, but is sick and ill advised

<HeatZync> what is the use of the calendar?
<RogueRunner> it's like DNS for days

<Criznittle> cox.net
<dersteer> cox started blocking torrents
<badger> coxblocked!

<Sid> SIDS is a sad way for babies to die.
<Sid> They could've grown up to be suicide bombers or
something interesting.
<FingerGauntlet> Well
<FingerGauntlet> now you can use the corpses as ammo for small
catapults

<Chuck> so now i dont have to go to the rape center for free
condoms

[sg1138_] My father was nicknamed "Dr Cyclops"
[ianmc38] cos he only ever showed u his 1eyed monster?

[Jack SkeIIington] my knees have rugburns
[Jack SkeIIington] from giving out endless blowjobs
[p-iv] wear knee-pads
[rahahda] "job interview pads"

[testic] Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his
lifetime: 7,200
[sg1138_] 7200 seems pretty high
[testic] I think that includes wanking and wet dreams
[sg1138_] 7200 seems pretty low

<trent> Dude, did I leave my platinum cube at your house?
<44lark> Nope, I was in the basement today and didnt see it
<trent> shit, I dont know where I left it then
<44lark> ya, hope you find it, im gonna go play Super Smash
Brothers
<trent> ok

[blokhead]: cell phones are amazing.. every time I think they
cannot get more annoying, they get twice as annoying. It's
like Moore's law applied to annoyance
[blokhead]: I'm anticipating the new cellphones that have a
megaphone built-in. That way, your conversations will be
clearly audible to everyone within 500 feet

<Louie> FUCK
<ATL> That's what all the girls say
<ATL> Though, usually, they add "off" at the end.
<ATL> Sometimes it's between "DON'T" and "ING TOUCH ME"

Omniscient Sean: I think we should terrorist start throwing in
nuclear weapon noteworthy national security keywords to Allah
otherwise innocuous conversations.
InfiniteSuperior: I Bin Laden agree.
Omniscient Sean: So how are Al Qaeda classes?
InfiniteSuperior: I have Al Sadr a psychology report Iran due
Wednesday.
Omniscient Sean: Ah, that Tehran sucks.
Omniscient Sean: This bizarre Sadaam open-source database
utility has all the Palestine trappings of other open-source
utilities.
Omniscient Sean: In this WMD case, useless error messages.
InfiniteSuperior: Other than Pakistan that, classes are Libby
going well.

<Shaft> my dad used to buy them for his coffee and i would
always just eat them out of the box
<@kaanchy> i used to eat powdered milk
<Shaft> that was coke
<Shaft> your mom was a cocaine addict
<@kaanchy> so that explains why im eating it right now

<Platterkat^> there's currently a hearing underway to find out
who knew what and when regarding kickbacks to Saddam's regime
from the australian wheat board
<Platterkat^> the deputy prime minister said yesterday I"
don't recall" 26 times
<Kadon> the australian wheat board.. why must they always try
to influence global politics
* Kadon tears up his fan club card

<Marques> hmm
<Marques> so I have to go to dinner with my girlfriend her mom
her two sisters and their grandparents. I wonder what people
think when they see a black guy walk in to a restaurant with 6
white people =)
<Trip> hostage situation

StrainResistance: the ultimate condom
StrainResistance: is an unborn fetus

<blehnus>In my experiece, any attempt to make any system idiot
proof will only challenge God to make a better idiot

<rankor> At work today i saw a guy go in to the bathroom only
to come out 10 minutes later looking like he had battled with
a lion.
<rankor> Now he had either had something bad for lunch or just
hade one of the worlds longest "handshaking" sessions.
<ToonLord> Maybe both...

<Percy> No wonder this place is empty.
<Percy> Who uses windows 95?
<Percy> No one.
<Percy> It's like seeing a mac gamer.
<Percy> Doesn't happen.

<zacwhite> they should do rock paper scissors over mail
<schwatoo> they do
<zacwhite> really? sweet.
<schwatoo> it is called paper, paper, paper though

Mazgurth: what does slashdotting mean?
antizeph: youve never heard of slashdot?
Mazgurth: I know it makes websites not work

<kperpy> then i heard my mum at the door and naturally i
panicked right, but luckily i alt+tab'd to porn and took off
my pants before she saw that i was on the microsoft website

once the winee: i'll bring my dads gun collection
once the winee: and call it freedom of expression
steph: you would be arrested by the time we pass dunkin donuts
steph: the cops will have had enough coffee to walk after you
steph: walk, not run

mattysteppo: tony its my bday
Agregz82: is it?
mattysteppo: yeah
mattysteppo: i'm 42
Agregz82: happy bday man
mattysteppo: thx
Agregz82: im gettin 2 teeth pulled today... so uhhhh thats
your present
mattysteppo: nice
mattysteppo: put em on a necklace for me

<Tully> Without looking at your keyboard, tell me what order
the letter keys are in (from left to right)

<Hawk|School> i wish emo kids bled money, atleast then their
suicide would be worth something

<Aunt_Kwan> If you
<Aunt_Kwan> press enter
<Aunt_Kwan> before done with a sentance
<Aunt_Kwan> it makes you 
<Aunt_Kwan> look like you
<Aunt_Kwan> have asthma.

<@cypher> I've never seen the name "Tabitha" used outside of
porn
<jasper> I have a cousin named Tabitha
<@cypher> Then I've probably seen pictures of her
<jasper> :-\

<@Winternight> helloween sucks
<@Winternight> well, now they suck, they used to rule
<@Argoth> never really listened to em
<@DIABOLICAL> I wish I could've listened to them back when I
was in grade school
<@Argoth> why?
<@DIABOLICAL> well, I thought Janet Jackson was "black metal"
back then

<JasonF> cdrws are cds that you COULD burn twice if they made
erasable sharpies

<LoneVandal> I've heard Korean is the most logical and easy to
read written language on earth
<LoneVandal> And that it is way easier to understand than
speaking it
<Parn> It's easy to speak Korean
<Parn> See, watch
<Parn> CHING CHONG PING PONG
<LoneVandal> Thats chinese you faggot

<jbskittlez> dude should i sell myself on ebay
<jbskittlez> sell my virginity on ebay?
<jbskittlez> how much money could i make from that
<lieb39> with or without a pic?

<Asher_Dorn> somebody suggested that the offical name for our
gay straight alliance should be "All You Need Is Love"
<Asher_Dorn> i had to tell him the acronym is AYNIL

<Super_Pirate> "Women age like fine wine"
<Super_Pirate> Show me one woman, one ANYONE for that matter,
that tastes better with age . . .
<Super_Pirate> And I'll show you a mental institution for
tasting people.

(whyte7): do you think porn is degrading to women?
(Zlumpen): only the good stuff.