Browse The Logs

#654551
Score: 48
<Seraph> wow, on gamefaqs, they have this "top 10 games that
work on mac"
<Seraph> I didn't even know there were games that would run on
macs
<Zack> Well now that macs can boot windows they're not quite
as useless
<Seraph> true, but it's just creepy, like a polo player going
to nascar
Vote:
#654194
Score: 430
<Mr_Owen> I really think I should have been born Asian. Being
white sucks, anyway, and I don t like country music or
tailgating or alcohol or owning engineless trucks or never
mowing my lawn or not wearing a shirt or screwing fat chicks
at all. So I ve been trying to come up with a word for someone
who s white on the outside, but yellow in the inside.
<mirasaki> Like the opposite of Twinkie?
<Mr_Owen> Yeah. Exactly.
<mirasaki> Well, what d you come up with?
<Mr_Owen> I don t know. The only thing I could think of was a
toilet  And once I thought about that, damned if I could get
it out of my head.
<mirasaki> You re storing information endlessly! You really
are Asian!
Vote:
#654170
Score: 2083
D1v1d3 8y Z3r0: i got owned by my bio TA earlier in the year
D1v1d3 8y Z3r0: she was like "So, what are some possible
effects from mutated genes?"
D1v1d3 8y Z3r0: i said "Well, it could cause different coding
of proteins, or it could cause you to develop special powers,
like retractable claws from your hands"
D1v1d3 8y Z3r0: the TA was like, "Wrong.  Those claws are
government implants.  Wolverine's mutant power is his healing
ability."
Vote:
#654091
Score: 371
<Zahava> <3<3happy valentines everybody!!<3<3
<@Silva> Roses are Red
<@Silva> Violets are Blue
<@Silva> i could never love you
<@Silva> because you're 1/16 jew
* Zahava has quit IRC (quit: )
Vote:
#654066
Score: 301
<Dann> this is so sad...
<Dann> i want to find the "super mario bros movie" on
limewire, just for old times' sake... but guess what my first
search result is?
<Dann> the 40 year old virgin
Vote:
#653976
Score: 1371
<Leonn> Apparently the military has been experimenting with
lasers that are supposed to fire at the speed of light.
<Glaive> No shit.
Vote:
#653828
Score: 2015
<reva> so I was babysitting my cousin's kid the other day. 
who's like, 15 months old.
<reva> he was trying to get up on the computer chair, so i put
him up there.
<reva> he just starts randomly banging on the keyboard
randomly
<reva> and the first thing that pops up says "Are you sure you
want to delete Internet Explorer?" 
<reva> I hit "no" (because it's my parents computer).
<reva> so he starts hitting more keys...
<reva> the next thing that comes up: "Are you sure you want to
delete Outlook Express?"
<reva> ...I've never had more hope for humanity than that
moment.
Vote:
#653759
Score: 634
<Ian-W> lesbian porn
<Ian-W> actually lesbian/gay porn
<Ian-W> because its like two girls that are guys
<CK-[away]> what would you call 2 hermaphrodites
<Ian-W> tetris
Vote:
#653631
Score: 543
<vintendo> yesterday we had to pull the plug on my grandma, i
needed the outlet for my laptop.
Vote:
#653295
Score: 808
<lostmx89> ok i like this torrent thing but when you turn off
your computer how do you make sure it is still downlowding
Vote:
#653227
Score: 418
Kristopolous: I don't think we should have thermometers,
speedometers, or odometers.
Kristopolous: This is America damn it!
Kristopolous: Thermofeet, speedofeet, and odofeet for me,
thank you very much!
Vote:
#653125
Score: 373
<Royall> Hey everyone, did you know it's illegal to destroy
coins or bills?
<Royall> Those are the govenment's, they are just lending it
to you.
<Monstro> Which means they can take it back at any moment!
<Royall> Yea
<Royall> It's called tax.
Vote:
#653097
Score: 674
lprocks: can you link me to a place that i can download roms?
Kow: www.google.com
lprocks: der i tried and it kept taking me to different sites
Vote:
#653083
Score: 633
<SSmith> Wow, I was just watching this porno, and the people
in it had the same monitor as I used to
Vote:
#652870
Score: 171
<Gargoyle> seriously, between dance dance whatthefuck,
singstar, and now this, what the fuck is actually wrong with
asian people?
<Gargoyle> I blame the americans, after all the japanese
people are the only ones to have ever been nuked
Vote:
#652858
Score: 335
<Forcepath> i need advice!
<Forcepath> on second thought: asking for advice in IRC is one
of the classic movie blunders...
Vote:
#652817
Score: 662
mysteryparabola3 : at work today, my boss and another guy were
talking about their status on the computer
mysteryparabola3 : and my boss say "oh crap, i'm Amber"  and
the other guy says "yeah, i used to be Amber"
mysteryparabola3 : and i said "yeah, before the operation"
mysteryparabola3 : he just stared at me
Vote:
#652810
Score: 471
<Kiell> My system clock is gaining one minute every twelve
hours.
<Kiell> As a result, I'm completing tasks slightly quicker
than normal.
<Kiell> I don't like it.
Vote:
#652730
Score: 598
<heywood_jablomi> A lady came in today with her resume written
down on notebook paper by hand and asked me if I could help
her "copy and paste it onto the internet."
<my_smelly_funk> lmao
<heywood_jablomi> It was 4:30-ish and I leave at 5, so I told
her to hold it up against her monitor for about 45 mins and it
would copy itself onto the internet.
Vote:
#652626
Score: 423
<-- djjkotze_home has quit (Quit: setlife -> work())
<lordvetinari> that's not only sad, but syntactically
incorrect
Vote:
#652619
Score: 610
<Commander> whoa that's not good
<Commander> the end of my mobile plug (plugged into the USB
port on my PC) was sitting in the side of a potplant IN WATER
<Commander> i pulled it out and it said "new usb device found"
<Commander> =/
<Commander> dunno how long it's been sitting there for
<CompHobbyist> new USB device found: potted plant v.001
<CompHobbyist> power usage for this device: -10W
Vote:
#652472
Score: 863
<Jlax> So we were watching this D.A.R.E. video in health
<Jlax> and they did that thing that they always do.
<Jlax> You know, when they're like,
<Jlax> "If you smoke, THIS will happen to YOU!"
<Jlax> And then they show a picture of a black person.
Vote:
#652454
Score: 950
<godgrrl43> killing babies before they're born is murder!
<azlo335> I think abortions should be allowed up until two
years after the baby is born
<greggk> the splatter pattern on the wall is more satisfying
after they're out anyway
** godgrrl143 has left the room
Vote:
#652425
Score: 1164
<justie> i did something stupid
<justie> chmod -x chmod
<justie> anyone knows how to fix it?
Vote:
#652381
Score: 950
Chutt: my wife drops an earring down the bathroom sink
Chutt: so i take the sink apart and get it back
Chutt: while i'm hooking everything back up, she helpfully
cleans out the bucket i used under the drain
Chutt: of course, i called out "it's in the bucket" after she
took it
Chutt: but apparently that didn't register.  so i got to take
apart the basement drain
Vote:
#652284
Score: 812
<CaCtus491> omg
<CaCtus491> I think I have just met the dumbest courier ever
<CaCtus491> I receive parcel
<CaCtus491> Courier hand me a palm/PDA style device for
signature
<CaCtus491> Courier hands me a ball point pen to sign with
<CaCtus491> I look at screen and see lots of ink and scratches
from previous signatures
<CaCtus491> I smile and say thankyou politely, slowly back
away and close the door
<CaCtus491> before breaking into hysterics
Vote:
#652242
Score: 507
<Nofrag> It's bullshit, the police won't do a fucking thing.
They destroyed one of the transformers now the power's out for
twelve blocks
<bawheid> It obviously wasn't one of the better transformers
<bawheid> Optimus Prime, say
Vote:
#652221
Score: 684
<lunchbox> so get this
<lunchbox> i delivered pizza to the Microshaft building today
but I couldn't park close to the door because they have all
these fancy picnic tables out back for their employees
<lunchbox> so they're standing there watching me carry all
these pizzas to them and I finally get to the door and they
stiff me. nothing.
<fallingdogs> are you surprised?
<lunchbox> next time they order I'm going to send them a bunch
of empty boxes
<lunchbox> and write stop messages inside
<lunchbox> "0x0000000A" ...
<lunchbox> "INVALID_PROCESS_ATTACH_TIP"
Vote:
#652212
Score: 688
<fholmes> My 8 month daughter was given her first taste of
Gentoo today.
<fholmes> Literally as she ate my boot cd.
Vote:
#652068
Score: 1193
<yadrisil> Quit being emo.
<alexsavage> i'm not emo, the glass is half full
<yadrisil> Half full... with tears.
<alexsavage> ;_;
Vote:
#652012
Score: 2404
<Brenty> You know, I think the media really fucked up when
they called it "software piracy"
<Brenty> Everyone WANTS to be a pirate
<Brenty> If they'd called it "software faggotry" everyone
would still buy all their shit
Vote:
#651467
Score: 559
* kafiend sets mode: -o kafiend
<kafiend> with beer comes great irresponsibility
Vote:
#651418
Score: 278
<Hroth> http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=
8795795223394289910
<Hroth> bush's family supported the nazi's
<videogameaholic> you know who didn't support the nazi's? 
jews.  look what happened to them.
Vote:
#651411
Score: 236
<Baloo> Supermarkets should have a newbie lane for the
self-checkout.
<Baloo> "If you're a loser who hasn't seen the bag boy scan
shit at the checkout before, and you've never bought a soda
from a vending machine in your life, use this line."
Vote:
#651404
Score: 414
<Random> I wanna do a cpu stress test
<Valaris> please to install norton antivirus
<Valaris> aol
<Valaris> and windows
Vote:
#651378
Score: 638
ThPhox: Dude...there's free Cinemax, and there's porn on.
ThPhox: AAAAnd it's anal.
ThPhox: *does the field goal sign*
SNAPEK1LSDMBLDOR: He shoots, wrong goalll!!!!!!
Vote:
#651293
Score: 1365
<Vanion> where is everybody from in here?
<NemoMac> Indiana
<Vanion> am I the only american?
<NemoMac> Last time I checked, Indiana was in the USA..
<Vanion> wtf?
Vote:
#651010
Score: 1947
<pengrate> Because, contrary to Window's opinion, searching
the internet for ethernet drivers does not go over so well
Vote:
#650907
Score: 915
<bill> neo is spending all his time fixing his new van
<Kevin> If its new, why does it need fixing?
<bill> Kevin: heh, if you asked that question about software,
it would sound completely idiotic
Vote:
#650829
Score: 1049
spaceinvader455: some people smash guitars after rock concerts
spaceinvader455: I smash keyboards after I type up a school
project
Vote:
#650684
Score: 1299
<cathy_n> That's because processed food is so manipulative.
<Yawgatog> Sometimes chicken nuggets force me into situations
I am uncomfortable with.
Vote:
#650665
Score: -46
Nerdmaster I always say backups are for losers anyway.
Nerdmaster I don't believe in "backing up" data.  My data
moves forward, never backward.
Nerdmaster I'm a forward thinker.  A real e-enabler of data.
Vote:
#650599
Score: 1320
<*> This mouse wheel is so loud I can beatbox with it.
<*> This is a skill about as far removed from "Hunter
Gatherer" as it gets.
Vote:
#650542
Score: 282
<SHn> how come its cheaper to fly from brisbane to sydney then
the other way?!!!
<disco[burrito]> cause you need all the smart people you can
get
Vote:
#650354
Score: -5
<Khobai> ive never seen a fat girl who was bulemic
<Khobai> so apparently the diet works :P
Vote:
#650342
Score: 704
<Sam> But why is it 69 and not 96?
<Sam> Oh wait...
<Tim> :/ Thats a weird fetish and I don't want to know what it
is :(
Vote:
#650334
Score: 91
<@Malf> dude im pranking people on skype
<@Malf> i called this american pizza place
<@Malf> and i go "are you mexican"
<@Malf> "no"
<@Malf> "ok i'd like to order a pizza then"
<@Malf> "sorry we dont sell to racists"
Vote:
#650283
Score: 1792
<Shaft> i was just reading a news headline and i thought it
said "double amputee conquers everquest" and i was like whoa
<Shaft> but is said everest
<Shaft> which is far less impressive
Vote:
#650276
Score: 1189
<Chard> 3x12=36
<Chard> 2x12=24
<Chard> 1x12=12
<Chard> 0x12=18
<Monkey> NERD JOKE
Vote:
#650161
Score: 728
<+Ethelion> i hate how busses come screaming out of no where..
<+Ethelion> it's weird
<+Ethelion> they're like fucking ninjas
<+FlameDrake> 2 tonnes of moving flureo yellow steel ninjas?
<+Ethelion> yeah
Vote: