<kaleido> Instead of distributing condoms in gay bars and at
productions of the play "Rent," where they might have done
some good, Koop insisted on distributing condoms in
kindergarten classes, in prder to emphasize the point that
AIDS does not discriminate, which it does.
<kaleido> i got suspended in 7th grade over some shit like
that
<kaleido> <teacher> straight people can get aids too
<kaleido> <me> name one
<kaleido> they had me on the curb out front waiting for my mom
to pick me up so fast i wasnt sure if id been expelled or just
suspended

<Lynxis> so i was outside today..
<Lynxis> i seen this bird chasing after this a butterfly
<Lynxis> my first thought was that the bird was probably
trying to rape the butterfly
<Lynxis> then my second thought was maybe the butterfly was
playing hard to get
<Lynxis> and my third thought was "Wow, I must really hang out
in the wrong places on the internet."

firedevilsfriend: dude! skype for pocket pc
firedevilsfriend: that means I can use my cell phone as... a
phone!

<DjK> well, I noticed that the noise my kid makes when he gets
into a tantrum at the shops wanting chocolate is EXACTLY the
same noise he makes when I accidentally cut off the top of his
finger when he's helping me prepare the carrots.
<Rovie> ...
<DjK> and they say I'm a bad parent - but I notice these
little things!

< alx> wow irc feels like television right now
< alx> 75 channels and not a thing worth watching

<drjazz> I don't use an IP address, too dangerous
<DeeTee> yeah, all those websites kept telling me my ip
address. was like wtf, so i rang my ISP and asked them to
delete it.
<drjazz> indeed, I got that error that my computer was
broadcasting an IP address
<drjazz> took care of that shit pronto
<DeeTee> oh hell yeah, cant have that shit out there for those
fucking crazies to use.

SpUnGe14: I should name my nuts Trinidad and Tobago
skater067: or
skater067: the virgin islands
SpUnGe14: Ouch

rated U for ugly: Maybe they should put the IRS at the border
instead...
rated U for ugly: cause illegals
rated U for ugly: seem to be afraid of paying taxes

<Chalklatemilk> ok so im wacking off to a video of two
lesbians fucking eachother
<Chalklatemilk> then i hear my mom walking down the hall to
this room
<Chalklatemilk> so i quickly close the video
<Chalklatemilk> then she walks in and im sitting with my pants
down, left hand around the cock, and she looks at me...then
looks at the screen...my desktop was open and had three naked
gnomes standing by a fireplace...the look on her face as she
left the room will stick with me till the day i die.

<greggk> will somebody please tell me why, in our
self-proclaimed conservative society, do homophobic parents
teach their children "rub a dub dub, three /men/ in a tub"?
<greggk> not only does it endorse homosexuality and
promiscuity, but it also implants children with the false
stereotype that all butchers and bakers are sodomites.
<joshmunki> what about the candlestick makers?
<greggk> actually, the rhyme is right about them. they're all
assdildo fags.

<RetardedMonkey> Fuck I drink too much coke
<RetardedMonkey> 4 x 1.25L bottles
<RetardedMonkey> 2 x 2L bottles
<RetardedMonkey> 2 x 600ML bottles
<moth> Say hello to my little friend - diabetes

<Xeph> fuck
<Xeph> i meant to create 2 rar files at 200000000 bytes a
piece
<Xeph> not 200000000 files
<Xeph> at 2 bytes a piece

<Td00d> a girl just walked past the window
<Ernestiqus> Go for it.
<Td00d> she's a bit too young.
<Ernestiqus> I swear officer, I didn't know she was 16
<Td00d> she isn't 16 :/
<Ernestiqus> If there's grass on the field play ball!
<Td00d> she's so young I doubt she's got hair there...
<Ernestiqus> Old enough to bleed is old enough to breed.
<Td00d> i don't think she's in puberty already
<Ernestiqus> Hit it before puberty does.

<agrippina> so there was this guy at work today, who brought
back a copy of Madden '06 because it was it wouldn't play in
his son's x box. he starts mumbling about how when he was
young, he never had to worry about his baseball being
compatable with his glove or his bat. And before i can stop
myself, i blurt out "true. but no one ever died chasing their
x box into the street."

Dead Star> And I'm trying hard to moderate drugs.
Dead Star> Like less and less and less and less
Dead Star> I wanna stop weed I think, until I'm famous or
something.

pOrTkI w AkCjI : i went to nickle nickle
pOrTkI w AkCjI : there were black people
pOrTkI w AkCjI : so i didnt get to play any shooters
pOrTkI w AkCjI : or the basket ball game
pOrTkI w AkCjI : fuckers

<ByeRights> what is it? firewire?
<@Pugh> erm...Serial
<ByeRights> probably uses a universal serial bus then
<ByeRights> oh wait, USB...

<DaRk_oDiN>: So I get this notice in the mail saying my
application was accepted at this college I applied to.
<DaRk_oDiN>: And I'm looking to get my degree in Computer
Science and Technology from these people...
<DaRk_oDiN>: So, they schedule a placement test for me to take
to see what ther classes I need to take.
<DaRk_oDiN>: That placement test happens to be on their
website...
<DaRk_oDiN>: Turns out, their servers are friggen broken and I
have to reschedule my placement test after witing for like two
hours.
<DaRk_oDiN>: And I want these people to teach ME how to work
on computers -_-
<DaRk_oDiN>: Maybe they wanted to show me the universal
protocol of bullshitting your customers.
<DaRk_oDiN>: I mean, that's like me going to a culinary school
and they're like "Sorry, we can't seem to figure out how this
damn over turns on, you're gonna have to come back later."

<Ohrly> so some idiot crashes into a power pole and I get
queued because of it
<Ohrly> where is the justice
<shane\sleepa> lol...
<Slapparappa> If he's dead, its there.

<@Pie> unemployment rocks
<@Commander> you got fired?
<@Pie> long story
<@Commander> well, you're not going anywhere

[zerra] Just employ a number of chinese ppl and have them
memorise ones and zeros..
[zerra] or force them to do that
[@opeth] you gotta get one named Ping
[@opeth] for network maintenance

<HellDragon> hey a 50m water resistant watch is big enough to
see the time ?

TheGodfather2613: i mean if you're going to have upside down
crosses you should also have a desecrated star of david and an
upside down crescent moon as well as someone bitch slapping
krishna

<rebb> chinese websites scare me :|
??????????????????????????? ??????? ? ????????????? ???????? ?
????????? Click ! ?????? ? ???? ? ???? ?
<voodoochopstiks> so many questions, so few answers

<3ifLikle> I used to masturbate while listening to my
neighbors wild sex.
<3ifLikle> Then i met them and they were like 300 pounds. that
ruined the whole thing...

<Claes> hey
<Claes> I was just thinking...
<Claes> If someone sent you 10 cd's and a note saying: 9 of
these cd's contain porn. The last one fries your computer.
<Claes> what would you do?
* Claes Quit (Ping timeout)

<MisterMastermind> Reminds me of an assignment I had... I had
to name 10 fun things to do in a country. I pulled out a piece
of paper from a hat, North Korea. "AW FUCK!"

<@cmdr_sm> i don't mind people being gay 
<@cmdr_sm> i even feel honoured when someone tries to chat me
up 
<@osi> now i know why you quit drinking 
<@osi> one time you just felt a bit too honoured ? ;)

<miro> ramiro@calcifer:/etc$ ping www.thepiratebay.org
<miro> PING www.thepiratebay.org (83.140.176.146) 56(84) bytes
of data.
<miro> 64 bytes from
hey.mpaa.and.apb.bite.my.shiny.metal.ass.thepiratebay.org
(83.140.176.146): icmp_seq=1 ttl=48 time=358 ms

<n0vablaze> why do people automatically hate me when i join a
channel?
<detmer> it saves time

<steve> oh man
<steve> I was watching this old kung fu movie
<steve> and this crazy japanese dude ripped off this black
man's testicles
<steve> and then an evil american white man threw a knife into
some other dudes eye
<steve> then the crazy japenese dude whiped his hands off on
the black man's pants
<alphakx> sure sounds like kung fu

<Sakireth> Infinite can't be explained by math or logics
either.
<Sakireth> Well, maybe a little by logics..
<bob-E> just get 8 drunk, and then u got infinity

<Bushman> my inet sucks
<pikey> oohh
<impulse> does she swallow?
<Bushman> impulse: yes, my TCP packets

<Cole> you totally blew me off for beards!
<@Pugh> i'd never blow a guy with a beard!
<@Pugh> erm...i mean a guy...full stop

<raphael_sorel> So, where you from? ;)
<sweet_angel47> Chicago, Illinois. how bout u?
<raphael_sorel> Manila, Philippines. :D
<sweet_angel47> where is that? in like, Russia?
<raphael_sorel> No, it's in South East Asia.
<sweet_angel47> dude, i totally fail at geometry
<raphael_sorel> ...

<Arielana> he's sitting next me on the couch with his head on
the keyboard. Makes it hard to type.
<@Asmodee`> just push his face into the proper keys

<Ethereal Souls> it gave me the "explorer.exe has generated
errors"
<Ethereal Souls> BUT IT'S OK
<Ethereal Souls> An error log was created
<Ethereal Souls> which will be in Hex and tell me EVERYTHING I
NEED TO KNOW
<Frag> Because, of course, you know EXACTLY what Windows
stores in memory slot E35BA9564F
<Ethereal Souls> yeah
<Ethereal Souls> that's the line about it buttfucking me

teimujin: so i'm playing Call of Duty 2 and the other team is
camping with a machine gun, and i hear one of my teammates
shout "the british are camping!"

<das> Headline: Bill Gates will be leaving Microsoft in July
2008
<Cryo> I'm sure that will be delayed.

ilovelickinstamp: i had all the answers to my history final
today
ilovelickinstamp: and you know how you never want to get an A+
ilovelickinstamp: well i kept saying to myself
ilovelickinstamp: ok you can miss that one
ilovelickinstamp: and i lost count
ilovelickinstamp: and i ended up getting an 80%
ilovelickinstamp: i wouldve gotten a better score without the
answers!
YaMoMsLova: dude...
YaMoMsLova: thats ridiculous mike

<Az_Eating_lunch> We had to carry our IP packets up hill
ourselves
<Az_Eating_lunch> I tell ya, when you are carrying your own
packets, collisions suck

<Bobzilla> Curse this hooker website taking so long to load!
<Bobzilla> argh
<K Doc> ...
<Bobzilla> I can feel your judgemental stare
<Bobzilla> It feels good.

<rifkin> Happy Flag day everyone
<rifkin> the US army is 231 years old today
<rifkin> to celebrate I am leeching wireless from some iraqi
in baghdad

Andy: when I finish a song, I automaticly hate it.
Nielzor: that's quite a healthy attitude, though, I think,
hating what you've created
Andy: like punching babies!
Nielzor: EXACTLY

<tricid> I'm going to tattoo two dots on the head of my dick.
<tricid> then when I cum, my dick will go :o

<Biff> man. 3 bigwigs from the rival company we just bought
came here to visit
<Biff> they didn't seem happy AT ALL
<hekman> well they just got owned
<hekman> literally

[GOD]Smithereens> Condoms are VERY good if you don't have any
water balloons near you
[GOD]Smithereens> Don't EVER try the other way around though.
Xyranius> It's not fun>_<

<rush> anyone ever notice that klingons speak unix?
<rush> "Grep ls awk chmod"
<rush> "Mknod ksh tar imap"
<rush> "Wall fsck yacc"
<assassin> dude. you even give geeks a bad name.

milnarmo: damn i'm never gonna get a fishing license
milnarmo: lucky i already have my phishing license
darkwing14: what?
milnarmo: please enter your credit card number and expiration
date to continue this conversation

<H0ley> Its like if you want to get a mate now a days, one has
to get a myspace.
<H0ley> What ever happened to getting to know people and dates
and crap.
<H0ley> Screw this profile crap.
<H0ley> Everyone is trying to profile each other.
<H0ley> Freaking meat-markets.
<L4m3r> Dogs leave piles of crap for each other. We have
Myspace.