<Lapsus> Okay, I get an error beep, anyone want to help me
decipher it?
<Lapsus> it's just regular, long beeps.
<Lapsus> beeeeeeep. beeeeeeeep...
<Fox> its gaydar. it must be picking up on a local source

<Sic> I seen a story about a guy who took the horse cock up
the ass but it was angled so it pushed in all the way, he died
from internal bleeding.. There was a whole video. :p
<LLora> your ass is designed for poop
<LLora> not for horse cock
<antek> i wonder what the last thing going through his head
was
<antek> BESIDES A HORSE'S COCK

<Blarrrg> Holy shit, best idea for a doormat ever.
<Blarrrg> 10 HOME
<Blarrrg> 20 SWEET
<Blarrrg> 30 GOTO 10

<Lucy> Anyways... Like no one is online coz it's friday and
everyone is doing stuff and it's not fucking fair coz I wasn't
invited.
<OnslaughtSix> Aww.
<Lucy> Yeah, that's right!
<Lucy> So you have to be nice to me!
<OnslaughtSix> brb
<OnslaughtSix> Sorry, I had to get my violin to play you a sad
song on.

<loo> every fucking bj should be two-handed
<mit3> actually it pretty much depends.
<mit3> like what if you ask the girl to choke herself.
<mit3> you gotta pick your poison

<balls> my sister is an idiot
<balls> my dad was doing something with our phones, so he
called my brother (who was at work) to turn off his cell
phone.  this WHOLE TIME my sister is right at his side.  so
when hes done, he tells my sister to call my brother and tell
him that its ok to turn his cell phone on.  so she calls his
cell phone, walks into the room and goes "hes not picking up,
so i left a message"

<Miri> Can I give you an e-hug?
<Jade_Work> yes of course Miri >.>
* Miri e-hugs Jade
<Rollyn> I want an e-mug
<Jade_Work> with e-coffee? :P
<Rollyn> So I could sip my e-soda
<Rollyn> Until I've had more than e-nough

<impl> If I were a cow and getting assraped, I wouldn't just
be thinking
<crimsun> you'd be using emacs.
<crimsun> woops, ECHANNEL
<iank> That doesn't make sense, but it sounds like he's making
fun of emacs so I like it.

<shyster> the other day
<shyster> my girlfriend asked me about my wildest fantasies
<shyster> I probably shouldn't have told her they all involved
other women

<JonTG> Man, my penis is so big if I laid it out on a keyboard
it'd go all the way from A to Z
<JonTG> wait, shit

John423: I love her with all my <3.
Acsabh: You love her with all your less than 3? Inches?

JakerzInc> so here i am
JakerzInc> logging into irc
JakerzInc> and the first thing I see is "hard throbbing cock"
Anfael> that's normal, that's how you know it works

PinkBabe571: i have to beat guys off with a stick
PinkBabe571: =/
ALLSTAR4212: just beat them off with your hands

· Primate · how do you do actions?
· Primate · ??
¤ @DjinnWraith slaps Primate around with a /me action
· Primate · how'd you do that?

<Dooley>omg </3
<Mstandot>What does that smiley represent?
<mictoboy>a vasectomy

<sigafoo> i realized i loved my girlfriend when i said to her
<sigafoo> <3
<sigafoo> and she said "<3.14159265" back...

atria ventric: so my life is complete
Crikers042: whys that?
atria ventric: because today
atria ventric: i heard two gay guys shopping for a vaccuum
atria ventric: 'but i bet this one sucks better'
atria ventric: 'but this one will go for longer'
atria ventric: 'go longer? what for? you get dirty you take it
out you turn it on and you're done'
atria ventric: 'i mean its fun while it lasts sure but its
nothing serious'

<ChaoSynergy> BODY MASSAAGE!
<ChaoSynergy> Where'd that extra 'a' come from
<narunet> My ass
<axiel> you mean your ss

<tomalak> you still appear to be under 12 months of age
<tomalak> btw putting your age in your nick is very immature
<@argv[0]> yes tom, im 0 years old
<tomalak> AND A DAY

Baumann: you're like... british and stuff, right
Kevin Smith: like....and stuff, yes
Baumann: so you know soccer?
Baumann: I know, that's like saying "You're american, right?
...so you're fat."
Kevin Smith: football
Kevin Smith: vaguely
Baumann: Pay attention to the world cup any?
Kevin Smith: there's a world cup?
Baumann: you don't think the world just floats in space, do
you?
Kevin Smith: pretty much
Baumann: Everyone knows that it sits in a cup
Baumann: That's why no one lives in antartica
Baumann: ...or something
Kevin Smith: right
Baumann: Well, I'm just pissed that Zidane got the golden ball
Kevin Smith: ok, I have no idea what the golden ball is
Kevin Smith: but it sounds impractical
Baumann: yeah, they don't even actually use it
Baumann: man... now I want to visit antarctica
Kevin Smith: \o/

<JohnMaron7> JaySea We believe that the Apostles at the Last
Supper were not drinking wine, for Jesus said to them "This is
My BLOOD".
<JaySea> JohnMaron7: "Oh no!  There's blood in my alcohol
system!"

( Tranks ) when i try to go on my webcam it says 'Sorry you
have no video capture hardware' << whats that o.0 /q
( Voltage ) I thought the police told you to stop using webcam
after you got caught flashing to 13 year old  bisexual boys
( Tranks ) I havnt bin caught
( Voltage ) so you do flash to 13 year old boys
Tranks has left #Cyber
( Fr0r3 ) Voltage you prick i didnt get his msn

<Awaken> this is pissing me off
<Awaken> i have some windows updates that just HAVE to restart
my fucking computer
<{RANT}> :(
* MaxPower (M4dMaX@ool-182f05ac.dyn.optonline.net) Quit
(hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
* {Bitch} (~yeah@cpe-069-134-207-100.nc.res.rr.com) Quit
(hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
* aliensoup (~aliensoup@heimdal.complx.net) Quit (hub.efnet.us
ircd.he.net)
* Jing|es (Jingles@cpe-24-167-108-167.satx.res.rr.com) Quit
(hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
* Ladywork
(victoria.r@host86-140-223-138.range86-140.btcentralplus.com)
Quit (hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
* TostigAFK (~Tostig@ip68-8-64-254.sd.sd.cox.net) Quit
(hub.efnet.us ircd.he.net)
<Mr_Power> his computer is the EFnet server?

<mocker> I just need to do more than play video games on my
day off
<Homeworld> but playing games is awesome
<mocker> I wanna play RL sometime
<Homeworld> rl is boring
<Astorite> RL doesn't have enough upgrades.
<mocker> RL has tons of upgrades, they are just much much
harder to get
<mocker> and not as fun
<Astorite> Well, yeah, I guess it's just a lot harder to gain
XP and GP.
<mocker> I need to find myself a 'sploit
<Astorite> They've got some, but the Mods are hella anal about
'em.
<Astorite> They're all like, "Crack isn't a legal income
producer." or "You have to go to College to say you know how
to do that skillset."
<mocker> they are just power-trippin mods jeez

* | gets lazy
* | is now known as _

<WeirdBeard> well my dad is icelandic, my mother is cuban
<WeirdBeard> i'm an icecube

<Pbob> you know what would be awesome
<Pbob> Get a bunch of jews, herd them into a shower
<Pbob> And then gas them
<Pbob> With that funny voice stuff
<Pbob> HAHA
<Pbob> They would be like I'M GONNA DIE sounding like crazy
cartoon charatcers

<Neal[CoNWork]> Not everyone's goal in life is to malign you
<DarkPaladin> Your's seems to be
<Neal[CoNWork]> Yeah, but I said "Not everyone's"
<Neal[CoNWork]> That doesn't mean nobody

<Gabe> lol i didnt like the diary of anne frank
<FraudulentTommah> if anne frank was alive today would she
make a livejournal
<Super_Moogle> The Livejournal of Anne Frank
<Super_Moogle> "Mood: Happy :))"

whatshisname: Why does the media insist on calling intelligent
design an 'alternative' to the theory of evolution?
That's like saying pancakes are a good alternative to an
internal combustion engine.
What units do you use for measuring Godliness?
mediaho: Cleanliness?
whatshisname: I was thinking more along the lines of
Jehovahwatts: "It took 47.3 Jehovahwatts to turn that water
into wine"
MrNeutron: "Wha. . . what the hell is a Jehovahwatt"
Smallberries: About 103 Jews.
pwhp_67: Are Jehovawatts metric?
jimmyhaha: Commie.

<veryinky> Personally I'd rather be adopted. Since it would
mean that I was picked instead of randomly produced.

(+[CSI]ACE-340) anybody want to buy my motorcycle and then
loan me $3500
(@Ic3x^) what kind of motorcycle
(+[CSI]ACE-340) gsx-r1100
(@Ic3x^) erm, not my style... I don't like speed bikes
(+[CSI]ACE-340) it can go slow too

<Silly-Wurk> how ironic.  Shell Oil claims that using
foodcrops to make biofuels would be 'morally inappropriate' as
long as there are people starving in the world.
<Taffer> an oil company has morals now?
<Taffer> will they be shipping these foodcrops to starving
people in empty oil barrels/tankers?
<WyldWork> Absolutely, along with barrels of unrefined love
and good will

<Argentius> I fell asleep again in class today...
<Darkersun> that sucks man, what did the teacher do?
<Argentius> I am the  teacher >.<

phoenix8634: are you legally downloading music yet or no?
TwiztidTown: ROFL
TwiztidTown: what is that?
phoenix8634: k ill take that as a no
TwiztidTown: you can LEGALLY DOWNLOAD MUSIC?
TwiztidTown: LOL AND ALL THIS TIME I WAS DOING IT FOR FREE

(@damned) one time, my mom asked me if she copied something,
and then unplugged the mouse and plugged it into another
computer she could paste it

<roric23> i just pulled an elastic thread out of my sock and
now I'm flossing with it :)
<Pace|Around> yay for Sock Floss
<rigelIsGood> Dude, that is kinda gross.
<roric23> well, yeah. it does sort of have that sock-like
flavor to it
<roric23> not that I taste socks for a living or anything
<Pace|Around> Well, if you ever want to, you now have
something to put on your resume

WindMage1: my cat already had kittens a month ago
WindMage1: we took her in to get fixed, and they're like "We
can't... she's pregnant"
WindMage1: and I said "That bitch said she was on the pill!"
WindMage1: and then there was very awkward silence in the
vet's office

<syc> buddy of mine licked a motherboard once while the
machine was running
<syc> no problems
<Skiz> I disagree
<Skiz> your friend has problems

<wordup> i talk very little
<mop> font size 2?

<Caius> in the last year I've broken the screen on: SE S700i,
SE P910i, iPod 40GB, Pentax S6, Palm Zire 72 (and slightly
before the last year, Palm M100)
<Libertus> Caius: Have you considered pen and paper?

<@Nefro> so Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 sucked?
<malakian> yeah
<malakian> it sucks hard
<malakian> then swallows, sadly
<malakian> so you dont even see the climax.

<jab> I just installed some windows updates
<jab> and then Windows Update told me I had some security
vulnerabilities in my windows software
<jab> I click OK and the list of vulnerabilities comes up and
one of them says "Internet Explorer is not your default
browser."

<rewind> look! I know how to do YMCA!!
<rewind> \o/ |o| /o_ /o\

kixor: well, how are you going to get around the north
american ip ban?
Kovia: duh, last i checked i live in texas
Kovia: and texas is south america
Kovia: way to go, idiot

<ilius> I'm a canadian
<ilius> theyre sending me on a peacekeeping mission somewhere
undisclosed as of yet
<sanzo> i think you mean "im going to try and stop a genocide
in africa without weapons"

Boboray202: If Intelligent Design existed, my hand would be
self-lubricating!

<demonotaku_> hate when you fall asleep and your cat jumps on
your keyboard
<Facemaker> Yeah, they always talk about you on irc behind
your back

* Digi disconnects
<Eliza> you're still here
* Digi has disconnected
<Eliza> you're still here
* Digi has disconnected
<Eliza> you're still here
* Digi has disconnected
<Digi> I HAVE DISCONNECTED DAMMIT D:

(sean__) i want to call you with my cell phone whats your #
(@Pain`) (911)-323-4155
(sean__) dude you made me call the cops what the fuck