<Ghaleon> I'm a programmer for a company that ports english
made games to the japanese market
<PcChip> Make one say "ALL YOUR BASE" in japanese to get back
at them.

KrazyKanuk: the canadian customs people rule
KrazyKanuk: i get to the border right, coming from the us
KrazyKanuk: and the guard asks me if i have any weapons in the
car
KrazyKanuk: im like, im CANADIAN, what do u think?
KrazyKanuk: he let me through without another word

<@kazin> why does php have 'echo' and 'print'?  Do they do
different things?
<Bluefoxicy> kazin:  echo prints in a big empty room.

<leeg> I heard that Vista will support Duke Nukem Forever OOTB

<Frostfyre> Alright. 5 reasons why I'm convinced that my penis
runs Linux.
<Frostfyre> 1. I can create child processes
<Frostfyre> 2. I can handle multiple users on any platform at
once.
<Frostfyre> 3. I'm VERY user friendly.
<Frostfyre> 4. I have incredible uptime.
<Frostfyre> and 5. When my system load gets too heavy, I end
up dumping my core and the system shuts down.

(Patrick82): i have multiple personalities
(tkam): the one that tells you to kill yourself obviously
isn't getting its fair share of time

<Pedlya> So I got this really big usb drive, and me and my dad
are trying to put shit on it.
*Simpe has entered #cancelled
<Pedlya> my dad said its too big, and I guess it was
<Pedlya> so my mom comes in and is trying to push it in...it
still didnt go in
<Pedlya> my brother uses his and it fits fine, so we just use
his
* Simpe has quit IRC (I dont want to know dude... )

<@kiafaldorius> is it just me or is it cool that 1337 (string)
converted to hex becomes 31333337?

<bi0h4z4r_> north korea is test firing missiles right now
<bi0h4z4r_> on fox news
<@argv[0]> thats where i would test my missiles too
<@argv[0]> fox news headquarters

<LavenderD> >:)
<LavenderD> Evil smile or sad jew, you decide.

<Curt^> and mexicans try so hard to goto my land
<Filefragg> electric fences would help
<Curt^> Mexicans would just use them as a power source

<Brian> Hahaha... I spent two hours just so I could get an
evil quote number on bash.
<DaKemoBoy> The only thing evil about that is the time you
wasted. :)

<mima> i have found further proof that irc users are the
result of an anti-social break in existence.
<mima> i just went into a bunch of different channels, said
"SMILE!~ =D" and everyone said, 'wtf?', 'seriously?', 'what?',
or i got kicked out.

<godix> Well, I know my NES was picky, if you didn't touch it
in the right way it wouldn't let you play anything at all.
Kinda like a woman actually...
<Aqua|Editing> I thought it was more like a man, because it
wouldn't work unless you blew it.

<punkomatic> so i saw superman last nite...not only did it
suck, but it was super predictable and super emotionless.
<youSuck> Well of course it was emotionless. if superman
showed his super feelings, he'd be emo-man
<youSuck> lol "I'm EmoMan! my tears of Justice will destroy
you!"

TTim2627: i try to restrain from illegal activities on sundays
igcatastrophe:really? I don't. i figure, gods resting, get him
in his blindspot
TTim2627: africa?

<@Efrael> Funny thing about hard drives: the bigger they are,
the more porn you download.
<@Efrael> After a while it seems that there was no upgrade at
all.

<BigMac> Omg, My dad s just died suddenly in hospital 
<BigMac> I m gonna go see his corpse in the morgue 
<Pleston> I doubt that.
<BigMac> What?
<Pleston> Well, firstly, any person would go see their father
BEFORE mourning to us about it.
<Pleaston> Secondly, I remember your other father dying about
two weeks ago, on another chat.
** BigMac has quit (quit: Stfu)
<Pleaston> Thought so

«%[indy]Muaddib» I'm so in the closet, I'm practically in
Narnia

pugg: My worst gig was doing sales on salary + commission.
pugg: That's sort of like being a waiter, except you have to
go out on the street, pull people into the restaurant, and
convince them they're hungry.
pugg: Also, you don't get your tip until a month after they've
finished eating.

<Glock> So i attended this sudden death the other day, a guy
hung himself
<Glock> The guys partner was there and said he'd been pretty
depressed lately
<Glock> Then my stupid partner says 'Has he ever done anything
like this before?'
<Glock> Should have seen the confused face of the poor girl
<Izzy> Maybe it was jesus....he'll come back

<Winchester> I just watched a PSA video of how to save
ourselves from atomic bombs in the `40s.
<Winchester> And I realized: "Oh, shit, we`re at risk."
<Winchester> And then I watched a video of the Brady kids and
I was too happy to care.
<Winchester> Conclusion: The Ruskies used the Brady kids to
distract us.
<Winchester> Reason for Failure: The Bradys lacked musical
talent and Jan was an emo bitch.

spaceinvader455: heh
spaceinvader455: I saw lake house yesterday
spaceinvader455: and when they first started trading letters
spaceinvader455: (the guy that lives in '04 and the girl that
lives in '06)
spaceinvader455: I thought to myself, "Ok, first letter, So,
how was star wars episode III?"

[Warmonger] my phone is always off in fact
[AstralSin] my grandma would kick my ass if i didnt answer
every once in a while
[AstralSin] and of course, there's always the slim hope that a
girl will call
[AstralSin] but they never do
[AstralSin] other than my grandma, but thats not the same
[Warmonger] someone else's grandma maybe
[AstralSin] ew

omg its zack wtf: my math teacher staples burger king
applications to failed tests

<djbjrca> Loonietoon: what OS are you on
<Loonietoon> im not on os
<Loonietoon> isnt that mac
<Loonietoon> im windows

<addeman> the difference between me and a soccer player is
that i score then shoot

<&arcanum> IdleRPG is like Runescape only with better
graphics.

<LenaWarrior> Does Australia float around or is it stuck there
<KoreaPro> Are you serious?

<Derkum> You know your mom has humour when her password to the
computer is "divorce05"

<wixard> so... anybody know of any cool soldering irons?
<nugent> yeah the soldermatic4000 supermax version 2.0

<pete_> Dude, if I ever become an emt
<pete_> I'm so driving the ambulance to a funeral home,
<pete_> Walk in and just be like, "Hey, sorry if I'm late..."

sluissa: I feel sorry for gay people in america who are saving
themselves for marriage.

maus: man do I need a wifi card for my laptop; I tried to plug
into a router at a downtown coffee shop and they got all mad
at me

<neotiger> jesus damn I'm bored
<neotiger> nothing to do all day but sit on IRC or play games
<neotiger> woo.
<^Migs^> are you at work or something?

<Chappy> how did you go online?
<Quasi> I'm on someone else's wireless.
<Chappy> oh really??? that s great!
<Quasi> It's not too bad, but I have to stay completely still
or it disconnects.
<Quasi> I'm getting horrific leg cramps, but great download
speeds.

<+Zeraliten> FUCK!! That cat needs to die a horrible death.
He's chewed through the wires on my $120 headset
<@CCFreak2K> Zeraliten, electrical tape can take care of that.
<Teqonix> What, killing the cat, or fixing the headphones?

<Merrick178> OMFG
<Merrick178> My Mom just called and I sound like my dad
<Merrick178> She said "Is that you?" I said "Yea" She said "Im
glad you answered cause boy am I horny!"
<Merrick178> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
<Merrick178> WTF
<Merrick178> IM GONNA GO STAB MYSELF IN THE HEAD NOW

<overkill_78> So this chick came over today.
<overkill_78> We talked for hours.
<overkill_78> Then she went to go take a piss.
<overkill_78> I busted in on her while she was pissing, and
she got mad at me.
<overkill_78> So I trapped her in my room and set my room on
fire.
<overkill_78> Fucking bitch is dead now.
<camdaman86> How are you not in jail?
<overkill_78> It was in The Sims.

<TheWickerMan> My cousin
<TheWickerMan> Is the epitome
<TheWickerMan> of stupidity
<TheWickerMan> I told her to clean the turkey for some dumb
party we are having
<TheWickerMan> And she puts it in the oven right
<TheWickerMan> and sets it to
<TheWickerMan> "clean"
<TheWickerMan> and I was like "y u do dat"
<TheWickerMan> "oh the oven has a clean setting"
<TheWickerMan> so we all ate
<TheWickerMan> TV dinners that night

<AsPHy> if you could torrent hardware it would be awesome
<Doitle> If we disregard logic, we can do all kinds of fun
things!

<Jake> Caffeine and I are getting along well today.
<Nismorack> Didn't you break up?
<Jake> We talked it over
<Storm> how the hell could you break up with caffeine?
<Storm> that's just insanity
<Jake> I already have to deal with transient insomnia
<Jake> Caffeine just compounds the issue.

<Mod> So, how many are you inviting?
<Ned> Dunno. I'll check the random number generator.
<Ned> Oh. It says 22345780
<Ned> We're gonna have to get more dip.

Godchicken: One of my co-worker's roommates is a total myspace
whore. She's gone through 5 boyfriends in 4 months plus other
random dates... and all off Myspace.
Godchicken: I want a piece of it before she's all worn out
Method: Put a quarter on her head and call next, like in the
arcade

<@Ustas> Sigh. Got to go buy some food. A mouse hung itself in
my fridge and left a note "can't live like this"

<@Witchlord> omg
<@Witchlord> I just thought of a website that I had to go to
<@Witchlord> and then for some reason went to hotmail instead,
when I havent needed to go to hotmail in over 5 years
<@Witchlord> and my first thought was "holy shit, i drove home
this drunk"

schraitle: have you ever noticed how geeks and the rest of the
world are going backwards from each other?
schraitle: i mean, the geeks started on email and chatrooms,
while the rest of the world were using phones
schraitle: and now, everyone's using text messaging and stuff
on their cell phones, while the geeks have VoIP and skype
schraitle: somebody's going the wrong way

Magus5311: I got a C- in Spanish 1.
Magus5311: Then I got a summer job doing construction
Magus5311: Next year I had an A+

<ScriptBlue> the first thing I've been invited to in high
school was our graduation party

<ratSrdnaW> One time.. I went to the store and got some
clothes.. and went to the changing room to try them on.. get
the key from the lil attendant lady.. then I shouted out.. "oh
man! we're out of toilet paper in here!"