<svinx> yknow when you go to a party, and everyones hooked up
except one guy and one girl
<svinx> and so they look at each other like.. do we have to?
<svinx> intel & nvidia must be lookin at each other like that
right now

<Swiich> remember how I went to the hospital on tuesday?
<Swiich> I screwed up my liver from chugging an entire bottle
of cough syrup to trip
<_nosiop> without reading the label for other active
ingredients or checking what they do online?
<Swiich> um...
<Swiich> yeah
<_nosiop> 15 minutes of research could have saved you 15%
liver function or more

<nilson> I have 4.5 gallons of beer
<nilson> for my after prom party
<Advil> that's a lot of beer
<Advil> for two guys

<Rjx> i'm a mac
<Rjx> and i'm a pc
<Rjx> and we're both irritating faggots

aphextron > Friends are highly overrated.
aphextron > Have you ever once masturbated with a friend?
aphextron > I should hope not, unless it s a girl friend
aphextron > but if that were the case you wouldn t be reading
this

<postlogic> You should -never- go back and look at
spur-of-the-moment written code.
<postlogic> It's like watching yourself throw up in replay.

<Falc0> i am gonna start a new bussiness,
<Falc0> skydiving for pedophiles
<Falc0> make em pay in advance cash only

<kan> the nigerian government has orderd 1,000,000 of those
"100 dollar laptops" for its people.
<kan> just what we need more nigerians sending email.

<JaKa> In soviet russia, you must kill a kitten to masturbate

<chaz> I had to recompile our software to pick up the new
libraries etc
<chaz> we then hit an issue with connectivity to the database
server
<chaz> but thats what i fixed (i hope) this morning, so we'll
see :)
* Twitch crosses her fingers for you
<chaz> my apologies, I didn't realise you were female.
<chaz> I should turn my geek off. :/
<Twitch> I'm in Physics, don't bother

<Pseudoof_The_Goat> can somebody help me?
<Pseudoof_The_Goat> i know linux is more secure
<Pseudoof_The_Goat> but i can't run linux because i still need
windows
<Pseudoof_The_Goat> i want to install the linux version of
firefox on windows
<Pseudoof_The_Goat> anybody know how?

<drev> how was your weekend?
<LaDyLoVe> amazing! my friends threw a surprise party for my
birthday :)
<drev> fuck the closest thing ive ever had to a surprise party
was a fucking intervention

<Kansas|Working> I went to the Isle of Wight Once too, there
was this guy there who had one leg and was jumping down the
street, it was funny, reminded me of a pogo-stick.
<Jochta> Oh, so yuo find disabled people funny?
<Kansas|Working> Only if they remind me of a garden toy.

chickenrising: if playing an actual guitar picks up girls,
playing a video game about playing the guitar is sure to pick
up some sort of girl... it only makes sense

Dev100666: I bet in 1997 you would not have guessed you would
be getting married before duke nukem forever came out

<fonz> that's all black people are
<fonz> they're white people with chocolate instead of blood
<stav> hence all the stabbings
<fonz> exactly they are just looking for the golden ticket

<Truin> anyone seen Bush lately? 
<Espresso> nope
<Espresso> wait
<Espresso> the band, the man, or the body part?
<Truin> take your pick
<Espresso> the answer is still nope

<Jesus> The guy does not understand the concept of the "Shift"
key
<Noser> the what key/

<BrettBits> My website's stat counter uses Javascript to
detect whether or not my viewers have Javascript enabled.
<BrettBits> Naturally, it appears that 100% of the people
visiting my website have Javascript enabled.

Madrigal: I once went to an Applebee's with my ex-boyfriend.
Madrigal: We had this waitress named Jinko.
Madrigal: He accidentally called her Plinko.
Madrigal: She came back with five coasters.

<@Raeven0> What's the difference between array $_GET and array
$_REQUEST
<+Matrixfan> one is polite

<cy> so i went to the store and bought some hebrew national
hot dogs right
<borndbad> huh?
<borndbad> wtf is that?
<cy> and i got home.. and i look.. there's fuckin 7 hot dogs
in the pack
<cy> not 8 like a normal pack, but 7
<cy> im like fuck the jews jewed me again

<nmopal> Now if I had to follow a religion it would be
whatever them clapping black people follow.
<nmopal> That looks fun.

< Codegen> one day my gf and I were watching TV, when the news
reports came on talking about how there were suicide bombers
in london, and how they destroyed the transit system. The news
reporters said that these bombing were similar to the previous
suicide bombings from a week before. Then my gf turns to me
and asks, "Do you think that they are the same suicide
bombers?"

<Sohcahtoa> When I first saw that image, I said "This is so
obviously photoshopped.  NOBODY has a nutsack that hangs THAT
low."
<Yosh|Surf> wait
<Yosh|Surf> how did my girlfriends picture get back into
discussion?

itchy92: Aha! I figured out why all the 1337 hackers in movies
use Linux.
theNihil: Um, because it's mysterious and unknown to
mainstream movie viewers?
itchy92: No, man. It generates so much output so easily.
itchy92: Need a scrolling console window to make it look like
you're doing something? Type any nonsensical word with a
verbose switch and BAM! you've got scrolling text for like 3
hours. So it seems like you're engaging in some hardcore NSA
decrypting when in fact, you're compiling ksolitaire or
something.

<terminal> sir you must do it
<terminal> and film it
<Tark-Indy> yeah my flatmate is in there whipping the weasel
and I go kool-aid man on him
<Tark-Indy> OH YEAH

Pugsley: someone called me from a bar last night and I don't
know who
Pugsley: the song hip hop hooray was playing
Pugsley: so they may have been calling from 1992

Dudespunk7: 90% of domestic abuse happens due to shitty compaq
products.
Dudespunk7: They don't want to ruin their expensive shit so
they take it out on the wife, or kids.
Famethrow1: and because that bitch doesn't vacuum.
Dudespunk7: Exactly.

<FrogboY> i hate this, i have pretty much no transfer limit
for the next 9 days and can't think of anything to download
<Rambo_6> get a virus
<Rambo_6> or fill your harddrive with beastiality
<Rambo_6> whichever comes first

<Dezner> that was the bitchiest security sticker I've ever
removed from a CD case :x
<Blackjak> what CD?
<Dezner> Excel Saga Great Experiment 2 :O
<Blackjak> ...I was going to say something about whatever band
being hardass
<Blackjak> but fuck man, get laid

<kam`> you know... i used to have a crush on you
<Katie> Oh? and what did you learn?
<kam`> i have very low standards

<Kaleidoscope> Alright, so this hermaphrodite walks into a
bar..
<r3c0n> go fuck urself
<Kaleidoscope> Oh, so you've heard this one before..

<Paragon> :j
<Metal_Massacre> is that supposed to be a happy guy with
herpes?

arcanis41190: im so pissed that i spilled chlorine on my
shorts
arcanis41190: it was a good pair too
arcanis41190: not even a sharpie is working
arcanis41190: magic marker my ass

<@Fallaware> oh fuck
<@Fallaware> apparently you can't select 3 gigs of mps and do
"play in foobar"
<@Fallaware> I have like 10,000 instances of foobar running
<@Fallaware> holy fucking shit.
<@Fallaware> I don't know what to do about this
<@Fallaware> except restart.
<@Fallaware> this has to be the best argument for foobar
<@Fallaware> 10000 instances does not cause significant
slowdown.

<MLu> how clever of me
<MLu> to go out drinking today
<MLu> i work tomorrow
<MLu> how's that for a drunken haiku

<equiraptor> Sheesh. A hardware review site has been blocked
as pornography!
<equiraptor> I guess our sysadmins really must be geeks...

<Method> good evening gentlemen.
<Method> would you like to play a game?
<Method> It's called "guess what intoxicated state I'm in".
<Method> It's really fun.
<Method> on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being the least, 2
being the most, and 10 being somewhere around the middle...

<BackF> like a month ago, i moved my mousepad to the left of
the keyboard
<BackF> to practice, i wanted to switch mouse-hand.
<BackF> so, when i got used to it, i went and bought a
lefthandmouse
<BackF> i spent 2 hours wondering why i was rightclicking all
the time

TheMan: Can one person type !add 2+2?
Node: !add 2+2
Aranjedeath: it dont work
Aranjedeath: yeah
Zabikten: $calc(2+2)
Zabikten: hm
Node: !add 2+2
Zabikten: dude
Zabikten: it's fucking 4
Zabikten: why do you need a calculator?

<Grover> On my linux box, I once swapped out the motherboard,
put in a new video card, doubled the RAM, installed a CD
burner, installed a RAID array of (6) 200GB SATA Drives, and
overclocked the CPU without ever rebooting it
<Rusty> Didn't you reboot it a few weeks ago?
<Grover> Yeah, I had to reboot to install my Thumb Drive

<Chichi> have u ever been up to neck in pussy?
<Ree Cakes> Yeah, when you stand by me.

<fiednmade> also before last year of my mom accusing me of
being crazy for talking to people over the internet
<fiednmade> she thought I wasn't really talking to other
people
<fiednmade> but to myself in some sort of game
<fiednmade> and I got medicated and placed in an institution
for three months

<fichen973> Your porn is so old that the women in the pictures
have offspring with their own porn sites.

<Vermilion> So I was pushing a Laserjet in a handtruck, and
then I saw this lady pushing a baby in a stroller, and
suddenly I felt like such a loser.

<pg> you can t rape the willing.
<pg> rape is the first casualty of consent.

<Mandi> why can't I find the picture I want
<Borgs> that's because the governement closes those sites and
procecute people who download those sorts of pictures

<Phroziac> why do they make such huge suvs?
<Phroziac> i went to a car dealership today and saw one with a
hood that was higher than the roof on my friend's volvo.
<Phroziac> and it's an OL, it's not like it's a small car.
<Dawson> At the rate they're going, there will be SUVs big
enough to use Hummer H1s as escape pods.

handler.: germans like american wrestlers
nos-spec: yeah cause american wrestlers look like german girls