<DTOX> my wife says the white trash have already come up with
a new name for Osama
<DTOX> "Osama Bin Hidin"
<DTOX> that's really sticking it to him
<refugee> man, that must have took all their brain power
<DTOX> cases upon cases of RC Cola were drank

<`michael> where's snow
<var> dunno mike
<var> jerking off to japanese scat while listening to horrid
ddr music
<var> is my best guess

<DAL9000> kalms isnt here! now whose leg will i hump? ;(
<SlasherX> hump michaels
<SlasherX> never seen him around. give him a warm welcome
*** michael__ has quit IRC (bye)

<Guilty> http://www.hotornot.com/r/?emid=NQK8OR
<Guilty> "Bi sexual"
<Guilty> That means slutty

<ViBeZz> thats the thing i dont wanna partition my hard drive
<|Z|> ViBeZz if you don't partition your HD, you're a fucking
moron and you deserve to die

<Turing_> this is going to sound very gay, but we were
watching the discovery channel today at work where there were
these sort of african olympics in a tribe when a male reaches
mating age
<Turing_> anyways...the guy had to be nude and do this relay
on a balance beem to appease some god
<kunio> HAW
<Turing_> it was strange because even flacid he had a penis
the size of the empire state building
<orestes--> gah
<dab[afk]> ugh
<Turing_> it was mesmorizing, my secretary kept in rythym to
its bobbing
<Turing_> lol
<Turing_> I felt terribly inadequate
<Turing_> I hate the discovery channel

<blazemore> where did you find this, sych0
<blazemore> did you just type in "crap" and download whatever
came up?

<SD-Washu> i still love the msg i got on my voicemail earlier
<SD-Washu> that was l33t
<biafra> what
<SD-Washu> oh my voicemail msg is in japanese
<SD-Washu> and someone called and the only thing i heard was
"what the fuc...."
<SD-Washu> followed by *click*

<kisama> my playlist is full of essential mixes
<var> essential to what?   your pursuit of perfected queendom?

--- Topic for #celebs-n-models is <@YoGuRT_> beer just had his
first Duck Job..how ya feel? <@Beercaps> same as before
<Digested> heh
<Digested> wtf is a duckjob?
<Beercaps> its bj from julia roberts

<purem> my sk00l had an anthrax scare today
<purem> it ended up being some poor guys coke :(
<purem> he's prolly gonna get expelled :/
<purem> or at least kicked outta the faculty
<purem> and then executed
<Morris> haha
<Morris> They mistook some coccaine for anthrax?
<purem> yeah
<Morris> hehe
<Morris> Poor guy
<Morris> All he wanted, was to do his lines.
<purem> ya
<purem> it's bad enough that he lost his coke, but he had to
go and quarintine like 600 people into that building for like
4 hours
<purem> heh
<Morris> :/
<purem> rough day
<Morris> Coke heads around the world now lable their coke with
"Not Anthrax" stickers.
<purem> "COCAINE INSIDE"

<Pr3ttyF1y> if i'm going to copy dvd's onto cdrs, i atleast
want to make sure they send me pills that make my wang and
boobs bigger too along with my liquid viagra for 72hr straight
erections
<Pr3ttyF1y> i mean, if the scam can't even promise that, why
buy into it :)

<CiXeL> apparently a customer got pissed at us this morning
and sent our sales secretary goatse.cx as an attachment

<Rico> I suppose. I wouldn't mind being that guy that makes it
with all the Scouts.
<DigiGnome> Except you'd be ridiculously tired at the end of
it, and if you don't please them you get CRESCENT BEEEEEAM'ed.
<Rico> Yeah, but what a way to go...
<Kayma> Uh oh, attacked with pink sugar hearts, blarg im dead.
<DigiGnome> You know exactly where they'd hang the wreath,
too.

<DAL9000> you've never called me dustin before
<DAL9000> you sick?
<Guilty> I bet you thought you had a decent name until Saved
by the Bell's Dustin Diamond came "screeching" in

<kritical> the doctor made me piss in a cup and i had wacked
off like an hour earlier...he then walks in and tells me i
need to cut back a bit on masturbating..im like, "WTF"

<Guilty> I see, your ignorance expands far beyond ATI video
cards

<DTOX> my wife pushed from 2-4 pm and then they said "fuck it"
and got the foreceps and all that fun stuff
<DTOX> but they gave her an episiotimy
<DTOX> the doc took out these scissors with teeth and cut the
skin between her vagina and anus
<CoMBo> so when she takes a shit, it can leak into her cunt
now?
<DTOX> no, I don't know what it's like in canada, but they
stiched her up afterwards
<DTOX> they didn't give her some timbits and say "go back to
your igloo"

<|Chris> i was stuck behind some car today and the license
plate read "dick 404." my first thought was "oh shit...this
guy must be impotent as all hell if his dick is missing."

<AlmtyBob> god my ball-sweat smells good
<AlmtyBob> too bad I have a cold 8(
<AlmtyBob> can hardly smell it
<skmt> yeah.
<skmt> ball sweat has a weird smell.
<SD-Washu> mine fucking stinks
<AlmtyBob> it's like coffee though
<AlmtyBob> doesn't taste as good as it smells
<mdl> AlmtyBob: dude
<mdl> you taste your nutsaq sweat?
<skmt> you only need to sniff your hand after you beat it,
fool.
<AlmtyBob> lets just say it's a good thing my cum smells bad

<kisama> you guys are lightweight nosepickers
<kisama> i get bloody mucus sometimes
<kisama> have to break out the guaifenesin
<kisama> or insufflate salt water
<McMoo> man
<McMoo> don't even talk shit about my nose
<McMoo> i can get quarters up it horizontally
<McMoo> my record is 8 pennies in one nostril
<kisama> circus freak

(`KGB) I'm going to #jamaica I've always wanted to visit

<Son-Doobi> i've been thinking man
<Son-Doobi> today is 10 11 01
<Son-Doobi> thats binary shit
<Son-Doobi> we living in the binary age

<KidHype> <Razoola> Honey, they are picking on me again on the
rg boards
<KidHype> <Razoolas wife> Well i never...i will tell them how
awesome you are and that will show them
<KidHype> <Razoola> thanks hun, you rock *sniff*

<SAV2880> Ok, my point ... who the hell cares about the ZD
bank account (as long as it's not -$5 million or something!)
<SwampGas> SAV2880: the 10 people who support emuchrist
<SwampGas> and it's my duty as owner of ztnet, owner of
retrogames, owner of cps2 decryption tables to alert them

<Goemon> There is no good mp3 trading programs now.
<maff> sure there are
<maff> ftp.
<Goemon> I tried that.\
<Goemon> In order to get name/password I had to sign up for
porn.

<boozie> during my nap i farted underneath the blanket and i
almost killld myself

<refugee> man
<refugee> you cant cancel an AOL subscription online
<dwai> try to do it over the phone
<refugee> and they want your screenname when you cancel
<refugee> so I gotta be like "yeah, my screenname is
SIZZLINGCROTCH"

(Reverend_) i thought i had to shit really bad
(Reverend_) but then i just farted like 3 times, and now i'm
all cool
(Reverend_) but my ass is kinda wet and sticky
(Reverend_) any hot chicks, msg me, and we'll talk about it
(Reverend_) share your feelings

<Miko> hey i don't remember them dropping food on NYC when
they crashed into the WTC

*** Topic in #cars is 'saab's look like confused suitcases
with wheels'

<grey> wow
<grey> i didn't realise afghanistan had enough infrastructure
for two nights' worth of air attacks

::: .signoff@1.32p> m|ch (michelle@XX-XX-XX-XXX.ivideon.com);
to get over someone old, get under someone new

<saint_> and i'm not nasty. i'm actually not that big of a
pedophile

<|Chris> anyone else got beer?
<|Chris> wanna play a drinking game with me?
<|Chris> everytime a line contains a word, you have to drink.

<TheMyst> hey, anyone here use a radar detector?
<Customz> yes why myst?
<Customz> i only use it so i know when to stash the blunt
<Customz> fuck speeding

<blazemore> in afghanistan, people are worried about dying
tonight. in the us, i'm worried about completing my mame
collection before this site rom site dies.

[16:18] <novocain> shit its 4:20
[16:19] *** THC_420 (VR66@24.102.63.76) has joined #winprog

<Kashan> I've stuck plenty of stuff up my ass and it's never
been anything but apinful
<Gayo> Kashan, there's a big difference between good anal sex
and sticking things up your ass.

* Derek_ thinks costa ricans are wierd
<matts> I think people who spell weird "wierd" are weird

<novocain> so i have a "lesbian hot tub party to go to next
weekend
<JFalcon> novocain, good for you, did you make sure they have
running water?
<novocain> its my wife's lesbian friends

<Kazz> I will only baby talk to my kid.
<Kazz> Even when he's 40.
<JDigital> hee
<Kazz> "How's my cutest little sweet baby pie pumpkinheeeead?"
<Kazz> "Fuck off, dad."
<Lee-Ham> Issum wiggle umpkins?
* Silkenray laughs
<Kashan> I'm going to teach my kid the wrong words

<Xerox> My first kid won't have a name, he'll have to pick his
own at the name selection menu.

<mEsHmAn> how do i set myself as away?
<mEsHmAn> in mIRC
*** theForger sets mode: +b *!
*@host62-7-101-176.btinternet.com
*** mEsHmAn was kicked by theForger (mEsHmAn is away)

<jD> Best thing about a 12 year old girl, though...
<jD> ...when you flip her over, she looks just like a 12 year
old boy
<jD> ...
*** Geothermal has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<jD> I guess he's away off to get a 12 year old girl.
* Fishbird flips jD over.
<jD> Yes, except that I'm more 18 than 12.
<jD> I'd look like a girl with a really hairy arse.

<torque--> i can fart out loud in an internet cafe because
everyones wearing headphones

<Kashan> I think we should circumsize horses so they look
prettier in the porn videos

<DigiGnome> doesn't play properly. The White Stripes one.
<Thom> Ach. Dang.
<DigiGnome> Unless it's MEANT to sound like a cat trying to
shit wasps through a sewn up asshole.
<puchiko> It is.
<DigiGnome> Ah. A Slipknot cover, then.

<CoMBo> haha dude is oktane fucking ?
<refugee> CoMBo: no, he's just trying to fix that girl's back

<stretch> !seen tits
* Trivial_ has never seen tits. Sorry!