(Jani) the wii is going to get raped in the console war
(Jani) unless xbox360's start exploding like dell laptops
(%Ransom) ps3 will destroy everything
(Jani) including your wallet

<andreaskem> All this washin powder pretending to make your
clothes whiter
<andreaskem> One day I will invent one that really works
<andreaskem> And I'm going to call it "white pow(d)er"

<r34en> i'll show her.. one day when i'm 1337 i'll have my own
channel and she'll beg me to op her
<r34en> do you know what i'll say
<gary> "how do you add ops?"

<jcm> would having a woman as the main character change
anything?
<jcm> it would still be GTA
<gwizz> yeah
<gwizz> grand theft alimony

<total_meltdown> Writing to an NTFS filesystem in Linux is
like using Windows ME - you /can/ but when it bombs and you
lose everything, nobody will feel sorry for you.

Chico: i would never consider her at all
Chico: shes like 100% emo
Chico: to the bone
QueenRen24: aww, but emo kids are so cut
QueenRen24: e

<MALF> ebay is where cocaine addicts sell things for profit
<tak> thats what pawn shops are for
<tak> ebay takes too long
<tak> need crack NOW
<spun> but you actually need shit to sell at pawn shops
<spun> ebay you can sell a picture of a laptop

puffster: Can you really start a sentence with "With almost
100% accuracy..."?
killdbykangeroos: I think I'm positive you can.

<Numi> i m so FUCKE§ING WASTED FUCK
<Haddock> You have to be pretty wasted to typo §

<Dro0> i dont wanna be alarmist here
<Dro0> but i'm prety sure that the guy trying to configure the
core router in chicago
<Dro0> is googling "subnetting"

<Linuxgeek> How do i find the model of my card?
<Serena[T]> your nick is misleading, seriously

<ad_man> ya so me and mitch were sittin in english
<ad_man> and we always had a habit of writing dumb stuff in
each other's books
<ad_man> so he writes in my book "adam is a fagget"
<ad_man> what we didn't know was that the teacher was standing
behind us
<ad_man> so she says
<ad_man> "it's spelled -ot", and just walked on

xxnjbeauty23xx: im also short
xxnjbeauty23xx: but its a good thing for me because im jewish
xxnjbeauty23xx: which means im closer to the pennies

9mm: I suppose Steve Irwin should have worn sunblock to
protect from harmful rays.

<ArianaK> I want my money back.
<ArianaK> I forgot the name of the tea I'm drinking thats
supposed to help your memory

greyfox80988: The average American spends 6 years in the
bathroom, and 6 months at a stoplight.
greyfox80988: I want to know who figures this stuff out o_o
greyfox80988: Cause that's what I'm gonna be when I grow up ^_
^

actualism: if you bet an emo kid 20 bucks that he won't kill
himself, you'll either be 20 bucks richer or break even

F4T4L: by making TV's bigger all we're doing is making black
people stronger
F4T4L: soon they'll rule the world

<Nano> Is it "cheating" or wrong to mastubate over another
chick when your married?
<Syco> thats like asking is it rape if they smile?
<Nano> wtf... no its not :/

<pmcall221> I'm wondering when Windows will work they they say
it will.
<Kittyflipping> You're criticizing millions of lines of code
and you can't even get one sentence right?

Corey: that butterfinger commercial
Corey: has got to be the worst marketing idea i've ever heard
of
PfhorRunner: which?
Corey: it's got that hand with the orange index finger
Corey: and every time i see it
Corey: i can't help but think someone took it in the ass
Corey: or the ear
Corey: or somewhere their finger was NOT supposed to go
PfhorRunner: LOL

<cheater> legal drinking age in poland is "i have 3 dollars"

<blotch> heres a cool office trick
<blotch> unscrew the speaker part of your coworkers phone and
throw in a roll of quarters and seal it back up
<blotch> then after about 2 months of them being used to the
weight remove the coins when they're away
<blotch> and watch them lift the phone the next time someone
calls and bash themselves in the face

<Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> so i ditched her didnt answer her calls etc
<Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> and she totally brushed me
<Bushka|W0rkzo0rz> and hooked up with my mate
<joop`> so you fucked him to make her jealous?

Faustmaster300:My friend got kicked out of french once.
Faustmaster300:He goes,'Madam! I have a joke for you!'
Faustmaster300:'What is it Zach?'
Faustmaster300:'Why wasn't Jesus born in Paris?'
Faustmaster300:'THEY COULDN'T FIND THREE WISE MEN!'
Faustamster300: and after about 10 min of sitting the hallway,
he pops his head back in the door and goes, 'Oh, and they
couldn't find a virgin either.'

<Warbum> Hey guys, I'm guilty of "intellectual property theft"
<Warbum> The other day, I walked into a library, got out a
book, went home, and read it.
<Warbum> And the copywright holders didn't even get a dime!

<IanT> is it just me
<IanT> or is it a little creepy that my mp3 player put "call
me when you're sober" right next to "date rape"

<leoboiko> I wanted to search for that flamewar in which Linus
called the Gnome guys "fucking idiots"
<leoboiko> so I googled for "torvalds gnome fucking"
<leoboiko> luckly, google still doesn't give you exactly what
you ask for

<Oddness> Is it safe to put a 100W lightbulb in a 60W outlet?
<Atma-Mage> Do you enjoy having a face full of glassy shards
of red-hot pain?
<Fire_i> Read: Yes, it is.

<zip> IRC really has terrible markup.  So many unclosed tags.
<zip> Oops. </zip>

<Numi> I was having trouble getting screen dumps in unix so I
went into #unix and said
<Numi> "Does anyone know how to do a screen dump in unix?"
<Numi> 5 minutes and no reply, so I modify it a bit
<Numi> "Two hot girls are stripping on webcam for me, how do i
take a picture to show you guys?"
<Numi> 13 offers of assistance within 2 minutes. Brilliant.

< soultan> how come when i view the contents of a binary i
don't see no 0s and 1s?
< soultan> they don't exist after all?
< soultan> we've been fooled

<%spock1104> lmao, some poor bastard in florida had his house
burn down thanks to a dell
<+Toba> I would make a joke about needing a firewall on his
home box
<+Toba> but that's just too low

<pR@y4m0jo> Man, i have to take a huge dump, I have such a
backlog of shit I could be a bash moderator.

<ds4l> Tried to beat off today when mom was at the store
<ds4l> It s just me and mom living in this house
<ds4l> I popped in my fav porno and it started in a different
place then where I left it.

<b1rdn> WTF are you talking about, courtney love is like the
girl next door
<LegenD> yea if you live next to a methadone clinic

<Ranbert> someone shoot me please....
<tele>   o                              \O_ Arrgh!!
<tele>  <\==-   -   - -   -  -  - --- __/
<tele>  / \                             \

<Ghrens> Halo had a story?  I thought it was about 13 year old
boys with prepubescent voices calling me a homosexual.

<+billy_s> im taking a break from programming and trying to
escape the world of geekness and then winamp brings up "Norah
Jones - Pointer Song" GODAMN IT LEAVE ME ALONE

<Metl>Anyone else notice that the dude who claims he killed
that Ramsey girl looks extremely similar to the g-man?
<Metl>I suddenly no longer have the urge to play HL anymore...

<Raikou`> what if you had a keyboard with a key for every
character
<Dratini927> it'd be like, 15'x15'
<Dratini927> It's like "Brb I gotta go press a"

<Loki> would dismantling a self-aware computer be considered
murder?
<Rane> Why don't you ask it?

<dst> mirc is a piece of shit
<dst> I wouldn't let any of my kids use it
<dodgo> i would let my kids suck my dick, doesnt mean i'd stop
everyone from it
<dodgo> i wouldn't
<doogsey> er
<dodgo> oh fuck

<MGS05> vegans are the most enviromentally unsound people
<MGS05> they totally take advantage of "survival of the
fittest"
<MGS05> the plants can't move
<MGS05> they can

<rushfan> im getting out of shape
<rushfan> I only did 25 pushups and the room is already
spinning'
<qupada> drink some booze
<qupada> maybe it will make the room spin the other way and
they will cancel out

<Splinton> So I'm on my honeymoon with my wife right...and
after we're done fucking, I get up to go to the bathroom, and
without thinking I left a $50 on the bed.
<Aron> Oh shit..
<Splinton> Yeah...
<Aron> She'll get over it right though? She can't possibly
expect you've never been with a woman up til now?
<Splinton> Yeah that's not what I'm worried about...she gave
me $20 change!

Niv)Mutal: There is a crack in my window blinds, and every
time I turn around, I see an eye staring through the glass at
me. I can't deal with this any longer, its making me lose
games. Any opinions / comments / suggestions?
Hot_Bid: take the ring off

<Farcaller> to get spare parts disassemble/assemble some
device
<Farcaller> repeat until you get enough spare parts

Ron34: Why havent you been in school?
Joe: because its summer vacation?
Ron34:  its sept 13
Ron34: school started the 5th
Joe: WTF
Joe: ITS SEPTEMBER?

Sholiz: i'm lucky to get laid once a quarter
Sholiz: it's like big corporations profit reports
Sholiz: comes 4 times a year and usually it's a let-down