<spree> downloading movies takes so freaking long <videogameaholic> set it and forget it <spree> i set it hours ago <spree> i want to watch it before i sleep <spree> i imagine it'd be even worse with chicken <spree> if i stuck a chicken in the oven, there's no way i'd forget it <spree> i'd be staring hungrily at it for hours <videogameaholic> you kidding? when I put a burrito in the microwave and push 90 seconds, I grab a bag of chips.
Mike: i downloaded a virus to test my current virus protector. guess what, it failed the test
< dadexter> I stopped using reiserfs because some of my data went missing and my HDD died... ironic, isn't it?
<Ich> I've discovered that people on IRC don't get offended or riled up by racism <Ich> nor politically incorrect jokes <Ich> nor feminism, nazism, <Ich> nor goatse, or even tubgirl <Ich> not even jokes about 9/11 get a rise out of anybody <Ich> but as soon as I tell somebody that macs are better than PC's, things get ugly
<caddoo> why do you need condoms sent to you discreetly, you can get them in toilets, schools, chemists and they are all pretty discrete. <EvilDr.X> I dunno, man. I had a friend who used a condom he found in a toilet, he got a really bad infection.
<anaemic> i like the word inflamable, because its like throwing a curveball at the foreigners in a very dangerous and potentially entertaining way
<antisocial_boris> hmm, my code isnt working, i need a break <hapchi> well, keep in mind it must be inside a while or for loop
KiRBYdaCREAMpuff: I saw the funniest thing today, a group of white guys putting a roof on a mexican restaurant
<Spock> have you ever noticed how closely the jehovas witnesses resemble the sith? <Spock> they always come in pairs of two <Spock> one Master and one apprentice
<RockWolf> one time my friend tried to kill himself by taking 30 advil. <RockWolf> i was like dude...why take 30 advil when you can take 3 aleve? =D
DragonSiege: you people have acronyms for everything siwelwerd: i can't think of anything that E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. stands for
<Xenecrite> Guys, I found the greatest glitch! <Xenecrite> It's one of those ads where you have to hit the target. <Xenecrite> You can click anywhere on it and you STILL get the prize! <Xenecrite> 53 free laptops for me!
Tarrock: Did you guys hear what happened at the tickle me elmo factory?! Julep Dee: Nope? Trey Blacktail: blew up? Trey Blacktail: *hopes* Tarrock: Well.... the other day at the tickle me elmo factory a man went into the manager's office and complained about a woman outside. "She's holding up the line," he says. "I don't know what we're going to do. We'll never get this done. You have to do something!" Tarrock: So the manager gets up and walks outside where he finds the woman with red cloth and a bag of marbles. She was wrapping the marbles in the cloth and then sewing them on the tickle me elmos. The manager burst out laughing Tarrock: He says. "I'm sorry mam. I think you misunderstood my instructions... I told you to give them a couple of "test tickles"
JA: would you date a christian? JK: Sure JK: I'd screw the Jesus right out of her JA: OMG i can't BELIEVE you just said that JK: Because once you've been in bed with me, you know the truth JK: there is no God :(
Flared Oblivion: Do you play MS? knucklehead800: MapleStory? Flared Oblivion: Yes knucklehead800: Never heard of it
<zerco> we should have our own quote on bash <Phaet> dude it's easy <Phaet> every quote which contains a word "masturbation" gets accepted <Phaet> see? we're on bash already :) <zerco> hi mom!
<@wzpr> #000000 official irc channel of the NAACP
<Ivyshaur> No, we've been informed that listening to Rammstein is the best way to learn German. <mrPants> You learn it very quick <mrPants> The problem is that you only know how to talk about sodomy, canibalism, incest, and death <granola> there are other things to talk about? <mrPants> Not in germany
[XClaireX]: i was masturbating the other day [Childzy]: uh.. okay [XClaireX]: i think i did it wrong [XClaireX]: .. [XClaireX]: i'm pregnant now :' (
<Pongball> what's the most interesting thing that happened to you yesterday? <Pongball> anyone! <Arrow> Nothing yesterday <The_Epitome> errrm <Arrow> Well, I did get Sim Tower working yesterday <The_Epitome> it rained extremely heavily <The_Epitome> so I wore my ski jacket for the first time in months <Arrow> As for today <Arrow> I am 40 minutes from having all 601 aired episodes of Power Rangers. =/ <Crablouse> any time I feel concerned about the direction my life is going <Crablouse> I merely have to look in here <Crablouse> and I feel better almost instantly <Crablouse> good work everyone
<PS_Mouse> it would seem IRC doesn't like Azureus <coedman> it knows your warezing ways <PS_Mouse> I'm not warezing, I'm downloading .isos for obscure versions of linux <PS_Mouse> very obscure <coedman> versions of linux that happen to resemble recently released software or movies? <coedman> >.> <PS_Mouse> not at all <PS_Mouse> for what ever reason the guy who's been compiling these versions has done away with the standard numerical versioning system and resorted to using album names <PS_Mouse> for example, the beta versions are named after metallica albums
<Dave> Well. I'mma go shower and then go pick up my friend from jail. <Dave> I'll be back later. <Shadowpillar> ask him how big his anus is <Dave> He's a big dude, no one's going to fuck with him. <Shadowpillar> ask him how many other people he's cornholed <Shadowpillar> lol <Dave> He's been in jail for roughly 5 hours. <Dave> And he has a girlfriend. <Dave> I'm betting on a grand total of six.
<HORNYFAQR>: im afraid one of the kindergardeners is hitting on me now <Hades Dragoon>: ... <HORNYFAQR>: he's giving me winks and eye raises <HORNYFAQR>: i'm scared <Hades Dragoon>: he's gonna take you in the night <Hades Dragoon>: he's following you as we speak <HORNYFAQR>: well none of them know where i live <Hades Dragoon>: that's why he's following you
<Zerro> there's this lady that lives at this place i deliver pizza to... <Zerro> and she used to answer the door in scantily clad clothing <Wry> oh yea, the one your manager went to see? <Zerro> and i hit on her <Zerro> and fucking guess what <Wry> you hit on her?! <Wry> xD <Zerro> SHES ONE OF MY MOM'S FIENDS <Wry> OMG <Zerro *FRIENDS <Wry> HAHA <Wry> HOLY CRAP <Zerro> I SAW HER ON MY MOM'S MYSPACE <Wry> HOLY FREAKING CRAP
<dmonk> ok, what bible character would you fuck? <bobert> jesus christ man <dmonk> ew seriously? id want eve
<sarae> seems like im getting an abortion every other week lately <Tarkaan> did you get one of those little cards? <Tarkaan> cause on the 10th punch, you get a free one <Tarkaan> like at subway
<e1f> would you like to touch my .emacs? <e1f> it's really big
<Blauw>If i die and i get reincarnated, i wish i was my girlfriends pussy <Argy>Why? <Blauw>Then i would be able to see all my friends again
Madrigal: I have DSL Madrigal: Which backwards is "LSD" Madrigal: But for my sake, and the sake of being backwards, I'd rather get Dial.
computersislove: im annoyed. AbnormalMembrane: Wrong suffix. AbnormalMembrane: You mean "-ing" AbnormalMembrane: Sorry. I'm kinda a grammar Nazi about these things.
<Kalthare> Dammit, I'm losing my stack pointer somewhere in fat_mount(). :( <Quazgaa> Kalthare: sounds like a bad date
<Syphon> I was walking up the path from the parking lot to my apartment, and there were two girls talking. One of them saw me carrying a Wendy's bag and said "That's not very healthy", and without even thinking I say "And you're not very attractive" and just kept walking <.<;
|Polly|: I'll rape you in the face Phantom: My mom saw that |Polly|: Good |Polly|: I was talking to her
SilverD: hmm, how can you tell if you're running a 32 bit or a 64 bit OS? Reilithion: Is your computer all new, fancy, and shiny? SilverD: no Reilithion: You're running 32 bit.
BlackFridayXRule: dude, find an asian party, i want to hook up with an asian chick ziggyzhang5: asian party, no such thing BlackFridayXRule: oh sorry, i meant lan party
<Slimano> You know the Paul McCartney song 'Mamunia'? <john|away> yea <Slimano> I think mamunia in arabic is 'Peace' <LLXerxes> No wonder I've never heard it before.
<Shoel> Look, the basic principle of IRC is this: Never ask anyone anything. Ever.
<Goat25> what is the volume of a pizza of radius z and thickness a ? <Goat25> answer: pi z z a
<actaviosan> i got ddosed today <actaviosan> didnt last very long <actaviosan> thought my first time would be better
<W-ll-am> well its nearly working <BoltBait> You are aware, code that ALMOST works looks NOTHING like the code that ACTUALLY works. <W-ll-am> dont tell me that, its due tomorrow
<Mantits> You're going to end up paying for her extended family to live until they're 132 <Mantits> because japs NEVER DIE <Mantits> except by suicide
<BlasterWisconsin> anyone know how many cups are in a quart ? <BlasterWisconsin> iam making carmel corn and need 2 qts of popcorn <CBG> depends on the size of the cup <CBG> I mean, a 36D would fill a quart much quicker...
<_God> i'm gonna just send in a quote that says: Hi bash mod. what's up dude? sure must suck to read so much shit, ey? oh well, i'm gonna go. peace <Proffa> or you could go to a public library and flood it with "WHY WONT YOU APPROVE ME" <Proffa> like, 300 of those <Proffa> :-) <_God> haha <_God> that's pointless spamming <_God> i want to just send in a little "hello, thanks for your efforts" message <Proffa> their efforts that always deny you? <_God> ....good point. <_God> Revised: Dear bash mod. Suck it.
<BiG_D> Every girl who has ever been attracted to me is a vegetarian! <BiG_D> Try to explain that! <WolfLord> you have no meat <WolfLord> hehe <BiG_D> hmmm <BiG_D> fuck <BiG_D> I did not see that coming <BiG_D> Last time I tell that story!
<Latly> Dude I just heard an amazing story <Latly> My friends g/f was getting bored of her everyday love life <Latly> Sex, kissing, sex, etc. <Latly> She decided to make it a bit more romantic <Latly> So she decides to burn a disk of sexual songs, and plays it during their "fun hour" <Latly> I came over that day, and just swiped the disk with another one <Witds> with wat <Latly> Lets just say, that they will be having a blast doing it to barneys singalongs
<Spazzo> What would you say if I just got back from getting laid from my g/f? <Grosz2> dude <Grosz2> You fucked a porn movie?
<@blaxthos> let me tell you what <rambo_> what is what? <@blaxthos> there were these two israeli bitches in my club tonight <@blaxthos> that were fucking insane hot <rambo_> jews are hot. <@blaxthos> these jews were exceptionally hot <rambo_> fresh from the oven hot?
<Anony-X> Whats the worst thing about rollerskating? <Anony-X> Telling your parents your gay.
<gmip> aaaahahahahaha <gmip> i just got banned from #america <gmip> trivia game <gmip> "what live cargo came over on the mayflower? ******* <gmip> so i said niggers <gmip> guess i was wrong?
<Mildain> does anyone else find that they run alot faster when carrying a knife? <Vidaeus> in Real Life? Yes.