<steven>: heh, im doing the rough draft on my analasys paper,
but i have to truncate it when i email it through the school's
web system, so im gonna do "anal-rough.doc" and send it to the
teacher =D

<Brenton> see, you arent even willing to hear anything without
pre-concieved ideas.
<Kvant> Brenton, you have no preconceived ideas, i guess?
<Brenton> no i dont.
<Brenton> ive decided what i believe is the Truth

<shumani> when gnosticism becomes mainstream, is that mass hip
gnosis?

< myren> feel like i'm gonna fucking die
< [mbm]> ?
< Wonka> to die fucking would quite sure feel better...
< [mbm]> wouldn't want to be the partner
< [mbm]> I mean, do you finish?

<Jace> god this computer is running like a dog
<h0ax> Jace unless it is a lame dog or missing several limbs,
dogs usually run pretty fast
<h0ax> I wouldnt want to race one
<Jace> god this computer is running like an elepant
<Jace> hope they run slow
<h0ax> memory is working well then?
<mole-inc> elephants are pretty fast
<ReKTeK> they can run faster than humans :P
<h0ax> why dont you say a turtle or something
<h0ax> turtles are KNOWN for being slow
<Jace> god this computer is running like a TURTLE FINE HA
<h0ax> but then.. it did beat the hare..
<Jace> god this computer is running like a hare
<h0ax> no, they're fast, usually. except against turtles.
<mole-inc> god this computer is running like a crippled ant.
<Jace> god this computer is running like a turtle unless
competing against a hare in which case the computer is running
like a hare
<h0ax> you know you could just say it's running slow.
<Jace> oh yeh
<Jace> could do that... i guess...

[Maverick] just imagine if it was a 10 dollar fee to get into
heaven
[Maverick] and you died
[Maverick] but left your wallet in your car
[Maverick] so you couldn't pay the 10 dollar admin. fee
[BallsDeep] i would mug the next guy

<Chuck> MorticiaN, I wanna say something to you.  Im gonna put
it out there; if you like it, you can take it, if you dont,
send it right back.  i want to be on you
<MortIciaN> ok so you want to be on me
<MortIciaN> like piggy back ride?
<Chuck> no i was thinking more along the lines of a rodeo bull

Maf54: You in your boxers, too?
Underage_page: Nope, just got home. I had a college interview
that went late.
Maf54: Well, strip down and get relaxed.
Maf54: What ya wearing?
Underage_page: tshirt and shorts
Maf54: Love to slip them off of you.
Maf54: Do I make you a little horny?
Underage_page: A little.
Maf54: Cool.

<osseh> i have a twin pack of garlic bread in the freezer
<osseh> on the packet it says "contains 18 servings"
<osseh> 18 servings from 2 garlic breads?! what the fuck
<osseh> does it come with a mini jesus inside

<billy_s> chinese cant be THAT hard to learn, only one
characeter to learn - '?'

<Kraide> Wow, that line you used was repetitive and redundant.
<Jer1400> That's was ironically ironical!

<kaiti> lmao, if you search for "porn" in Windows XP's Help
and Support program, it recommends the article on how to use
Internet Explorer

RandomLs: I find it strange that grown men are still obsessing
over pokemon cards.
xZeppelin Martyr: I'm guessing you never owned a Japanese
holographic Charazard when you were little.

<Roxus> what's the longest a USB cable can run ?
<zengolfer> Roxus: depends on how much it trains and
conditions

<fox1023> Anyone know that analogy between baseball and how
far you go with a girl?
<missy13> Yea, where like 1st base is kissing etc?
<fox1023> Yea thats the one.
<fox1023> I was wondering. What do you call stealing home?
<missy13> ...
<missy13> Probably rape.

(Ike_Aran) Our health teacher told us that "1 out of 3 people
who start smoking will eventually die." The other two
apparently became immortal.

Bhuddist Pimp: I love how if you right click the type box in
AIM, you can select Undo before you do anything
L3ech3r: Undo nothing?!?
L3ech3r: Would be rather odd if it undid the last thing you
said
L3ech3r: Thus erasing a bit of history
L3ech3r: You would forget I ever said that
L3ech3r: ..that would be awesome
Bhuddist Pimp: what would be awesome? I clicked undo.

<Apollyon> I was at a store and some little kid comes in and
says "Do you buy Pokemon cards?"
<Apollyon> The owner looks at them, he responds "No, but I'll
take them as trade. Would you like anything in particular?"
<Apollyon> And the little kid goes "Money?"

<phenom> would you bang the queen
<phenom> for $10000
<nacho> i dont have that kind of money

<Monso> is california on the east coast or west?
<cpM> did it move?

<chakie_work> free(chakie_work)
<chakie_work> time to go home
<ahigerd> Don't segfault.
<chakie_work> :)
<chakie_work> chakie_work=0
<ahigerd> I always knew you were. ;)

<FyreStorm> 'cute'=fat, 'stud'=small penis, 'kitten'=usually
over 50 yrs old, 'sexy'=desperate, 'girl'or'gal'=usually
<FyreStorm> over 40 yrs old, 'cuddly'=exceptionally
over-wieght, 'hot'=lousy in bed, 'wet'=incontinent, 'boy'=
still a virgin at 30,
<FyreStorm> 'single'=married but horny, 'hard'=on viagra,
'divorced'=will be if his wife finds out

<SasukeUch> I loved SA because i was finally living the dream
of being a black man and being able to say "nigger" without
getting beaten down in the comfort of my own home.

[ Pwyff ] So one day, George Bush and The Queen of England are
sitting in her room talking about politics, when Bush asks the
Queen, "How do you know if the highest members of your state
are smart enough to be doing their job?"
[ Pwyff ] And the Queen replies, "Well, I usually ask them
riddles, and see how fast they respond. That's usually a good
way to see if they can think for themselves."
[ Pwyff ] So the Queen calls Tony Blair in, and asks him, "If
your Parents had a child, but it's not your sister, and it's
not your brother, who is it?"
[ Pwyff ] And Tony Blair immediately replies, "That's easy,
it's me!"
[ Pwyff ] And the Queen, who is very pleased, send Tony Blair
away.
[ Pwyff ] Now, Bush, who is very impressed, brings the Queen
to find Donald Rumsfield and asks him, "Hey Donald, if your
parents had a kid, but it's not your sister, and it's not your
brother, who is it?"
[ Pwyff ] And Rumsfield ponders for a long time, and then
admits to Bush that he has no clue.
[ Pwyff ] Pissed off, Bush drags Rumsfield and the Queen to
Dick Cheney, where Bush asks Cheney, "Hey Dick, if your
parents had a kid, but it's not your sister or your brother,
who is it?"
[ Pwyff ] And Cheney ponders for a long time, and then he
finally lights up with an idea, and says "It's me!"
[ Pwyff ] And Bush gets REALLY pissed off, and yells at both
of them, "NO YOU IDIOTS! IT'S TONY BLAIR!"

<Hrung> yeah, i was going to go to bed like 20 mins ago, but
i'm a horrible procrastinator
<Hrung> too lazy to go to bed..

<LouZiffer> We just got back from the ultrasound. Everything's
good. I'm the proud father of a lima bean with a heartbeat.
<RangerRick> LouZiffer: oh no!  it'll be a vegetable!

<   Milenko> im so bored..
<@ALGORYTHM> get a job
<   Milenko> i have a job
<   Milenko> Im in the army kid
<   Milenko> im on leave because i got shot in the ass during
basic training :-/

<Amun> just bought a server
<Amun> did a harddrive restore on it
<Amun> found nothing of interest
<Amun> except... his poems
<Amun> let me recite a few
<Amun> this one is called 'wishful thinking'
<Amun> The money I ve blown
<Amun> Getting high with dirty bitches I wish I ve never known
<Amun> Puffin on the pipe while they choke on my bone
<Amun> They re never grateful of the kindness I ve shown
<Amun> Or of all the times I ve made them mown
<Amun> So from now on I m just going to fucking leave them
alone

<Chr1stina> This girl I went to high school with is writing me
emails through classmates.com
<Kancer> I reply to those people, "big whoop our parents just
happen to bone at the same time and in the same location, it
dosen't make you special"
<Alex> I'm pretty sure my high school class wasn't the result
of one giant orgy in 1978.
<Kancer> Alex: are you sure? it was the 70s

Chronz > my girlfriend dumped me for playing too much eve
Chronz > she said she couldn't take it anymore
Chronz > she took the shotgun to the moniter
Chronz > and i pointed it at my forehead
Chronz > i said me first
Chronz > she dropped the gun
darrenX > thats unforgivenable
Chronz > and walked out

<@Never> I had this insane professor who constantly alluded to
being an alcoholic and to hating his wife
<@Never> somehow this meshed with economic theory perfectly.
<@Never> Once he went to the board and drew a simple X-Y
graph, on one axis he wrote "GIN CONSUMED" and on the other he
wrote "LIFE EXPECTANCY"

<Frostfyre> Why not slap windows stickers on toasters? I mean
think about it. Toasters get ridiculously hot, burn things
easily, and can be operated by a fucking moron.

<Azn[Busy]> I've always wondered how to say his name...
<malevolence> GOOD THING IT DOESN'T HAVE L'S!
<malevolence> M I RITE!?

[Sioux]: OMG!
[Sioux]: THAT JOKE IS OLD!!!!!!!!
[Sioux]: It's over 10 years old. I told it to all my friends
back in 1991.
[CwR]: Run out of fingers to calculate the exact difference?
:)

<Telius> Nobody escapes the Spanish Inquisition!
<codepoet> \S\p\a
\i\s\h\ \I\q\u\i\s\i\t\i\o

Brendan: A client of mine wants a cheesy backup solution
jbailey999: Cheese is no good as a data storage medium. It's
unstable at room temperature.

<PinkeyPooh> my wireless connection is going slower then 2
turtles fucking in jello

<gwizz> so i broke our microwave today
<gwizz> luckily best buy still sold the same model
<gwizz> so i go get it, bring it home, set it up, and hide the
box in my car
<gwizz> my parents get back and my mom goes 'did you clean the
microwave?'

<Swiich> greatest thing ever in 20th century history today in
school
<Swiich> teacher was going on about the million man march
<Swiich> this kid raises his hand and says "don't you mean the
600 000 man march?"
<Swiich> teacher says "no, why?"
<Swiich> "well, 600 000 is 3/5ths of a million"

<Ant_> yay. my loan came through. my bank balance is no longer
preceeded by a "-".
<SC> You should've tried depositing a negative amount of
money.

<addeman> after some bad experiences with fat chicks I no
longer ask their asl
<addeman> instead I ask for their BMI

TANNER3000: I decided I'd try Meatball Marinara today.
TANNER3000: It's good, but no cigar.
Luigigamer Golem: You're abusing the idiom.
TANNER3000: No, I meant you'd have a hard time smoking it.

<squipple_> hey!
<squipple_> who's got my name with underscore
<_aa_> !
<squipple_> kick them pls
<squipple_> oh wait, I can..hahaha
<_aa_> I don't get it
* squipple_ was kicked by squipple_ (Kick)
<_aa_> lol
<_aa_> did he just kick himself?
<Znarl> There's a good argument against drinking and IRCing.

<Royall> My "e" k y is brok n
<Royall> Oh wait.

ChaosPid: She was already mad at me and she yelled "I'm gonna
kill you"
ChaosPid: and I responded....
ChaosPid: "This is wierd, I swear to god I just heard you
offer to make me a cake, but the words didnt match up with
your lips at all........but chocolate, I suppose."
Curt: What'd she do?
ChaosPid: She looked like she was gonna die... left the room
and then came back a few minutes later.... in a rage.
Curt: LOL.
ChaosPid: I then told her she shouldnt have left, if she
wanted to go to the store to buy ingredients, she knew she
would need a man to drive her to the store, and then I called
her silly.

<BigNTall> Ohhhh Kay... I'm on some clothing seller forums,
and a common theme is how to get a stain out of an otherwise
perfect garment. Someone posted a "Guide to removing stains
from children's clothing". Possible stains include liquor,
wine, and semen

<Makenshi`> the creator of the qwerty keyboard must have had a
fetish
<Makenshi`> I don't think it's a coincidence that you can type
'stewardess' with one hand

OhTheCommotion: This "Comedy Central presents..." was brought
to me by Windows Vista
OhTheCommotion: But this show came on at the time it was
scheduled to come on
OhTheCommotion: So someone is lying to me.

<Uki> i don't feel much different, this whole being 21 thing
<Aphelion_> in that case, you did it wrong. go back and try
again, this time with more vodka.

<freznel> hey got a computer question, if my mother board
requires 5 volts, what size power supplies can I use
<seeess> you cant go above the voltage rating on your
motherboard
<seeess> so you need a <5v psu
<seeess> or you can use a standard PSU and only plug it in
half way