<RikisuuDelta> i'm glad my parents dont play quake, they'd
frag my ass and tell me it's dinner time

<Jon-> they need to put some quality warez and movies on
microsoft.com
<Jon-> i get about 800k a sec from them

<EnemyFC> can you feel the love i'm excreting from my pores?
<Cobra> I'm just glad you aren't excreting it from other
places o_O

<Dante> Removing the HD isn't a good idea. No guarantee I can
put it back in...And no she has no idea where my pr0n is
(Stashed at my grandmother's next door)

<Chrizto> one day someone on this channel will die and their
last words
will be construed as irc laughter from their head slapping the
keyboard on the way down.

<catlike> SQUIRRELS TRY TO COPULATE ON MY BALCONY
<Dayv> You're just jealous.
<Dayv> You wish Chris was daring enough to copulate with you
on the balcony.
<Dayv> But he is too busy reading nanog.

<SiZZuRp> what has 7 balls and screws old ladies?
<Chibi-Trunks> iunno
<SiZZuRp> the lottery

<b00m> i once got a virus that opened and shut my cd drive and
i was like wtf... i ended up taping it shut until i wiped my
computer

<Mew49> shutup broadband bastard
<joober> i dont have broad band
<joober> i have cable

<UKchaos> most semen swallowed: michelle monhan had 1.7 pints
puimped out of here stomach in La july 1991.

<sweet_chick> hey peeps wuts happen
<SiZZuRp> sweet love by a fire
<SiZZuRp> with goats and other various wildlife
<sweet_chick> awwwwwwwww hot sweet

<neo-fs> does anyone have aim
<neo-fs> for the life of me i cant change my fucking password
<neo-fs> and its about to fucking piss me the fuck off
<gilma> my aim is good
<kryonik> my aim is good
<kryonik> when im whackin it
<kryonik> into some chicks mouth
<neo-fs> @_@
<neo-fs> your aim is weird

[msg.argvee(~flop@adsl-216-103-210-51.dsl.snfc21.pacbell.net)]
ok whoever made ircii interfac ewas clearly not considering
drunk people when doing i

<tober> I actually did the math once, and it's improbable that
a million monkeys with a million typewriters (one typewriter
per monkey) that all type at the rate of a good typist 24/365
would ever produce the collected works of shakespeare before
the heat death of the universe. So there.

<jor>  NE SXE/F W/P N A/S/L PM ME PLZ IF U R D 1 2 C 4 A BJ
KTHX

[markel(markel@i.got.shelled.at.shellyeah.org)]  do you think
if you walked down the street wearing a #unixhelp shirt,
someone would eventually kick your ass?

<rixon> I remember calling BBS's on my party line.
<rixon> my neighbors house burned down, and they couldnt call
the FD cause we were online.
<rixon> 3 ppl died.
<rixon> that sucked.

<demit> oh my confidence in pac bell hosting is SO high..
quote from support
guy about the pop server disconnecting ONE of 32 users here
'well sir your
tcip session is your internet connection, it has nothing to
do with our
servers'

<Xney> how goes the job search?
<Stemish> xeeneee....it'll go, once i start it :)
<Xney> oh you haven't started?
<Stemish> not seriously, i'm not hurting yet
<Xney> brian: You should start way early.. it's quite ugly :)
<fouts> no shit. one company i applied to went out of business
between posting
the ad and my email to them

<beaker> > MR IP MASTER : OURS FIREWALLS WERE DETECTING A LOT
OF TRYINGS TO
VIOLATE
<beaker> > THE SECURITY OF OURS SYSTEMS FROM THE NEXT IP UNDER
YOUR DOMAIN
<beaker> > ADMINISTRATOR
<beaker> >
<beaker> > WE WAIT FOR AN INMEDIATLY SOLUTION

<LoverMan> Yeah, I remember when my boss' wife had computer
problems...she
asked me to go over and help fix it, she wasn't seeing
anything on the
screen and has rebooted, checked the connections, etc...so I
go over there
<LoverMan> And the monitor wasn't turned on.  Her excuse? 
"Oh, I never turn
it off so I didn't think to check that."

<kavonr> our new senior unix sysadmin can't change the ip
address on a sun
workstation.

<RoadRuner> mail1 procmail[15005]: Error while writing to "/
dev/null"
<RoadRuner> on my mail server at cisco

* Efudd names his new firewall box "cannabis"
<Efudd> It's a gateway box!
<Efudd> To Other Bad Networks.

<DWildstar> ARRRCH
<DWildstar> i told a guy at work where to find a password for
a server so he
finds it then fucking privmsg's it to me on irc "is this it?
"

<lammah> getting your own AS:  $250  setting up your own
network:  $100k
having your upstream forward your stupid request to NANOG:
priceless
<lammah> Dear Peers/Colleagues,
<lammah> We will start to announce a new prefix:
<lammah> AS13197 192.168.0.0/16
<lammah> Please update your filters.
<lammah> Thanks,
<lammah> Reinder van Amerongen,
<lammah> Junior. System/Network Adminstrator and Senior
Cabling consultant.

<FlashMan> nethack is installed
<Jon2> An IRC chick stands in your path.  She wears a +5 ring
of decreased mental stability.
* sQurl kicks jon2
<sQurl> I AM STABLE GOD DAMN YOU
<sQurl> DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU
<Jon2> The IRC chick attacks.  She misses.

<depresso> Compaq FAQ: Where is the ANY Key? (FAQ2859)
<depresso> This is not a key. When you are instructed to press
any key, this
means you can press any of the keys on the keyboard (such as
the Enter key,
the R key, or the space bar).

<depresso> *** Notice -- K-line active for AllYour
<depresso> *** Notice -- K-line active for BaseAre
<depresso> *** Notice -- K-line active for Belong2Us
* depresso falls over
<depresso> those were actual klines that just poped up on my
screen

<marcus> hahah. these guys have a dedicated oracle server...
an e3500 with 4
cpus and 4gb of RAM
<marcus> they've had it for 2 years now
<marcus> doing nothing but oracle
<marcus> with oracle configure to use no more than 128MB of
ram
<marcus> and recently they've been complaining about
performance
<marcus> they thought maybe they needed more memory
<marcus> i was like "uhhh. your dataset is smaller than
physical ram"

<EarthShaman> note to self: www.manpages.com is NOT an online
resource to get
*nix man pages

<marcus> can you make a cisco route packets based on their
source address?
<Jon2> marcus: yes.  policy-based routing
<FlashMan> marcus - yes, using policy routing
<RoadRuner> marcus: yes. policy routing
<marcus> anyone else?
<drifter-> marcus: yes. policy routing

<dpk> hehe.. looking for domain names. i wrote a program which
reads
www.news.com and www.zdnet.com and similar crap sites and
puts together
random consonant/vowel combinations based on it.
<dpk> it's pretty lame ;)
<Xney> dpk has too much free time
<dpk>         eeigoua.com avail
<dpk>         eeigoua.net avail
<dpk>         eeigouanet.com avail
<dpk> get it while its hot

* dpk looks through older messages from af.mil
<dpk> From: TinkerARSMail <TinkerARSMail@tinker.af.mil>
<dpk> Subject: Help Desk Ticket Open Notice
<dpk> Ticket Number TER000000000033, has been "Opened" for
problem: OPERATOR
<dpk> ERROR..USER IS MORON...///ABC by the Help Desk.
<dpk> yeah, i checked the headers.. definitely from af.mil

<FlashMan> we had a guy at pyramid who was stupid enough to
plug a mac monitor
(DB15)
<FlashMan> into an AUI port on the mac
<FlashMan> and fizzle pop crack zzzt
<FlashMan> dead monitor

<{Mantis}> we had an interesting conversation once while we
were both doing
nitrous balloons...
<{Mantis}> pure...pharamsuetical grade nitrous I might add
<{Mantis}> we were in the middle of this awesome conversation
and then we both
looked up and here walking up to us....was this naked woman
who was painted
from head to toe as a cheetah...
<{Mantis}> with wiskers and all...I thought I was
hallucinating...and then she
walked up to me...and reached out and said...."can I have
some of your
ballooon"
<{Mantis}> I was so startled I let it go......and it went
zinnning around,....
<{Mantis}> she went damn.........now I'll have to blow and
another one...

<PetrDoubt> "Blackout for 00Q1 begins on 04/07, so there
should be plenty of
time for the options to be credited to your account before
then."
<PetrDoubt> Date: Fri, 07 Apr 2000 16:29:31 -0700
<PetrDoubt> Thanks, Verio!

<Stemish> "How many NOC staff does it take it screw in a light
bulb?"
<PetrDoubt> 500 to send the outage notices to nocstaff, 14
managers to
escalate it to client services and back, and one to change
it.

<PetrDoubt> Wow, that's elite.  Customer's DSL is down, so he
sends a partial
traceroute.  The middle of the traceroute.  Not the
beginning.  Not the part
where it stops.  The middle.
<PetrDoubt> "My DSL is down.  Here's some hops in alternet."
<PetrDoubt> Thanks, dude.

<PetrDoubt> Gee, the people who moved alzheimers.net's DNS
away from us forgot
to tell us.

<PetrDoubt> OK, kids...what's the maximum number of SOAs per
zone?
<PetrDoubt> If you said 2, you have a career waiting for you
at Verio!

<PetrDoubt> "Our local support is in Dallas, sir."
<PetrDoubt> Remember, when you call Dallas, you aren't calling
across the
country, you're calling next door!

<outcaste> Mr Gates donated $38 million to aids research?>
<brian2> yeah, outcaste, he wants windows to be the only
deadly disease
affecting millions

<EFudd> HAHAHAAHH
<EFudd> Subject: Req For Winframe Account
<EFudd> Hi Jason,
<EFudd> Can U pl... Create this account Immediatly.
<EFudd> User Id : crapolla
<EFudd> Password :crapolla
<EFudd> Other Info
<EFudd> 1) User Full Name:Claudia Rapolla

<dem-> how long does it take for best to turn up my FR from
128 to 384?  like
a day or so?
<PetrDoubt> About 5 minutes, I think.  Now ask how long
PacBell takes.

<@arfbot> did you ever do that project in elementary school
<@arfbot> where you decided to give your oral presentation in
the form of a rap
<@arfbot> so you'd get your best friend to come up with you
and go "POOT-POOT-CHIT*** CHIT *** POOT-PPOT-CHIT!!!"
<@arfbot> while you rapped
<@arfbot> i think i did that once for my project on nintendo

<rone> OH BY THE WAY WE'RE BEING ACQUIRED.  AGAIN.
<rone> hey, at least we didn't merge with tab.net
<PetrDoubt> Yes, we did.
<PetrDoubt> Verio owns tabnet.
<rone> o fuck

< aurikan> they never actually get together you realize
< aurikan> after link saves zelda she becomes an uberbitch and
they part ways, zelda fooling around with pages, link
frequenting the local brothel

<drGonzo> |     /%      &.&.&|
<drGonzo> | % --    )  .&&&&T|
<drGonzo> |   --       &&&@D.--
<drGonzo> |       ------- -&&&--
* drGonzo problem

<kanzen> heh.. this guy's ont he phone calling his computer
pookie.. "Oh come
on pookie, you can do it pookie.. there you go pookie, thats
it... "