<jasn> dad woke me up like 'your brother cut himself with a
knife he's bleeding everywhere i gotta take him to the
hospital'
<jasn> im like  'can you get me some mcdonalds breakfast'

<[m1]> i HATE real world
<[m1]> its a fucking platform for outspoken faggots with a
high school vocabulary
<mrwhite> dave, sounds like irc

<MadHack-> i've developed a bad habit of making a hand motion
when i fart
<MadHack-> like i'm pulling a big lever or something
<mrwhite> hahahahhaha
<MadHack-> and i squeeze my face like it takes effort, too
<mrwhite> you'll win the jackpot one day and shit your pants
<MadHack-> and if i'm standing, lift my leg
<MadHack-> farting's really turned into a full-body experience
here

(dx) i once ordered sears siding for the condo complex across
the street
(dx) they showed up
(dx) and knocked on the first condo
(dx) and the dude called the landlord
(dx) and he comes out
(dx) and starts screaming at them
(dx) sears calls me back and asks whats wrong and i told them
i had no idea what they were talking aboit
(dx) sears never called me again
(dx) :)

<UGPYitEarp> I think part of McDonalds employee training is a
seminar called "dealing with the failure you call life"

[ +Mattster ] in an emergency, the hard drive will launch
itself through my window and safely onto the back lawn
[ +Mattster ] so in the future, someone else can benefit from
my mp3's and porn

<mrfrosty> your'e a faggot short of a raging fire
<mrfrosty> if you know what i mean
<mrfrosty> and if you do, let me know

<Serevok> does your penis reach the city of Montreal?
<Cheezric> I'm talking 5, maybe ten minutes tops.
<Cheezric> Well, we jews are blessed.
<Serevok> with choping off your cocks at birth?

(neruaL) my mom's computer
(neruaL) just said "hey baby, you've got mail" in some
seductive male voice

<mrfrosty> From: webmaster@P0PMAILER.ORG
<mrfrosty> Subject: Learn the secrets of the rich!
<mrfrosty> [-- Error: unexpected end of file! --]
<mrfrosty> he's a tosser
<mrfrosty> i had the secrets of the rich in my grasp
<mrfrosty> i feel like a shakespearean tragedy
<mrfrosty> actually it's jsut these tights
<mrfrosty> and this shoulder length wig
<mrfrosty> and nothing to do with the injustices perpetuated
upon me by WEBMASTER@P0PMAILER.ORG
<mrfrosty> (who shall be known as cunt from this moment forth)

<aba> i was just in detroit
<jasn> congratulations.
<aba> some black man next to me in his car kept flicking his
nose
<aba> i rolled down my window and told him i dont have any
cocaine

(jbk) I think i'm going to get some alcohol this weekend
seeing as i'm done with building robots
(jbk) and that calls for a celebration :)
(_none) jbk: youre probably the only person that has ever said
that sentence

<teresa> how is your meeting
<msd> well
<msd> we got off topic
<msd> and everyone is now looking at porn

<jasn> if i ever have a girlfriend that requests that we have
a 'song'  together,  after i laugh
<jasn> i shall suggest master p - you can be my bitch

<sup-yo> sporting the zima
<kaleido> when i was 19
<kaleido> and desperate to drink
<sup-yo> HAHA
<sup-yo> i used to drink zima when i was a 12 year old girl
<sup-yo> you're so gay
<kaleido> i heard zima and koolaid powder was good
<kaleido> so i tried it
<kaleido> and the koolaid made the zima bubble and overflow
all over me
<kaleido> and dyed my hand red :(

<MadHack-> i net 4200
<MadHack-> whereas i gross 6,666.66
<MadHack-> give or take
<MadHack-> quite the beastly salary
<MadHack-> 666 666 :(
<MadHack-> well, .67 i guess, technically
* MadHack- saves his soul through rounding

<@aba> plz call me alexander the great
<@aba> =[
<@ditz> hahahah
<@ditz> alexander the great almost conquered the world ;D
<@aba> yes
<@aba> i am going to conquer the internet
<@aba> and be called alexander the greatfux

<[m1]> sup sluts
<ian_> dave where do I learn how to make 3D models of shit
<[m1]> haha dude
<[m1]> i dont know SHIT about any kind of art or about 3D
<[m1]> im a unix dork that specializes in solaris and bsd
<ian_> [m1] why aren't you out partying
<ian_> fun fun fun till yer daddy takes the t-bird away
<ian_> and all that rot
<[m1]> cuz im a unix dork that specializes in bsd and solaris?

(StanLee) I'm tired of working today.
(neruaL) me too
(neruaL) actually not really
(neruaL) because i haven't spoken to any customers yet
(neruaL) and the one time my phone rang it was a dial tone
(neruaL) dial tone > stupid customer

([m1]) teresa do you remember what i told you about the
playground mentality of guys?
(resa) playground?
(resa) they only think about sex?
([m1]) no teresa
([m1]) that boys in elementary school would pick on girls they
like
(Mog2) i'd hate to know how teresa connected the playground to
thinking about sex

<jamez5> {{ £åügHîñg Øüt £öüÐ }}
*** jamez5 was kicked by guard (-< Auto kick, three strikes
and you'r out. >-)
*** jamez5 has joined #****
<lilskater3> wtf?
* jamez5 kick this damn excursion script non stop in the balls
<Jp2`> it kicks on characters like that
<doktersteve> oh
<jamez5> anyone know how i get that disabled?
<lilskater3> nope
<Jp2`> in the kiddie script options, uncheck gay.

<Alipha> ..can you fax me some paper for my printer?

<Dss-tester> nuke u have a real bad additude
<@NitroX> no way, not nuke
<*Nuke> Im a sweetheart you stupid fuck

<Read^Tired>: u just like sucking ur own dick
<Rayor>: is it that obvious?

<wof> does anyone really use emacs?
<Pills> my wife used to
<wof> really?
<wof> what'd she do?
<Pills> she... edited files? :)

<WSBN-DannyBoy> stfuysmfs
<Cowboy_LapDog> is "sit on my face" part of that?
<Cowboy_LapDog> hmmn
<Tankd> I was tryin to decode that too.
<WSBN-DannyBoy> STFU YSMFs
<WSBN-DannyBoy> Monkey is part of it
<Cowboy_LapDog> sit the fuck on my and your faces?
<Cowboy_LapDog> you sick monkey fucks?
<Cowboy_LapDog> sexy monkey fuckers?
<Cowboy_LapDog> wait i have one
<Cowboy_LapDog> FYYFF FFFFFFFFF FFFFF !@# FFF
<Cowboy_LapDog> "fuck" is a part of it

<Fishmonkey> its called "You're a Fucking Geek" dating service
* Fishmonkey was kicked by Cyber_Akuma (You have been kicked
by the STFU op insult detector)

<KAboomy> I used to be afraid of bees
<KAboomy> now I'm just afraid of mayonaise

<munk> how the fuck cant u get in without a bnc?
<Statto> it auto bans aol
<Statto> which is racist
<munk> hahaha

*** Topic of #3fs: How to determine how many people are idling
in #3fs channel. Take the total number of chatters and
multiply by one.
*** Set by Ziggurat!Hipnotoad@xtreme9-126.aci.on.ca 1061
minutes ago

* Amrik slaps Morfans around a bit with a large trout
<Marvin|> I don't think he'll notice you more just because you
do that.
<Amrik> well it makes me feel better

<TF-Carbon16> Okies... heres how it works...
<TF-Carbon16> when i first encountered halflife, the
deathmatch mod... like hl multiplayer
<TF-Carbon16> i loved it and...
<TF-Carbon16> one day, i was sitting in science class high as
a kite
<TF-Carbon16> and, the teacher, was talking about the element
carbon, and mentioned that the isatope carbon16 is rare,
unstable, and random
<TF-Carbon16> then said sumthin about its halflife
<TF-Carbon16> and i was like half life, rare and unstable...
sounds like me
<TFr-c0k3> thats a lot of shit for a name man
<TFr-c0k3> i got mine from looking at a coke can on my desk ;)

<Yeo> BEER IS LIQUID BREAD IT'S GOOD FOR YOU

<GimpMaster> why the hell i'm i on ignore :o
<Vxie> and i wont till he apoligizes for his actions...
<SovanJedi> How can he apologise if you can't even hear him?
;)
<GimpMaster> hah
<Vxie> i dunno
<GimpMaster> ask him what i did :o
<Vxie> thats what im trying to figure out...
<SovanJedi> Gimp is asking 'what did I do?'
<Vxie> i asked him to stop cussing infront of my lil sis and
he didnt stop
<GimpMaster> is that it? fuck the sand monkey. i don't care
<SovanJedi> Gimp says 'I'm very sorry for my actions, and he
won't do it again.'
<Vxie> ok
<GimpMaster> LOL

<Shea-> it makes me giggle like a giddy asian schoolgirl on a
rainbow brite pony
<Shea-> mmmm pony.

<@n30> my "m" key is broken
<@renetiq> evidently.

<MassMedia> It's disturbing how many people in here know what
the word bukkake means...

<Fishfood> hey when we are all grown up and have kids we
should all meet up and pit our kids against each other in a 5
day battle royale
<Prick> "Kid Rancher"
<Fishfood> my kid will kick all your kids asses
<Prick> Mine will be pixies. They'll strip seductively and
distract your kids.
<Fishfood> all my kid needs is his wits and his amazingly
large penis
<Prick> I think you're assuming that the Big Ogre Penis Gene
skips a generation.

<DELTRON> Note to self: when searching kazaa for southpark
episode "cartman gets an anal probe", be sure to include the
keyword 'southpark'!!!

<|3itch> MY WOULD BE SISTER WAS AN ABORTION I WISH SHE WASNT
THOUGH
<Funk> I WAS an abortion. I'm just very stubborn.
<Fishfood> i was probably not wanted
<Funk> You're not wanted NOW
<Fishfood> but who cares! IM HERE NOW AND READY FOR LOVE!
<wildkarrdex> I live in the perpetual fear that my parents
will abort me

<zamros> when i was seven i saw a car get run over by another
car
<zamros> my first accident witnessing
<zamros> and/or moster truck rally

<ShadiZar> get your happy ass over here then
<ShadiZar> i could use a good hard... well, anything
<`KArmA> oh sure. . . its always karma come do this for me. .
come out to texas karma, fuck me like a beast karma, oh harder
karma
<`KArmA> what about *MY* needs goddamnit!?!?

<@ataribaby> did you know birds actually have sex?
<@ataribaby> that disturbs me
<@shagman> you didn't think they did?
<@shagman> they just divided into new birds?

<continuum> in the binary bible is the devil marked as 222?

<Heinz89> just got my butt wiped FINALLY
<Heinz89> hmmm
<Heinz89> that didn't come out right :P

<goferdude> What's "hockey"?
<zamros> REALLY YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HOCKEY IS?
<Funk> It's like boxing, except it's on ice and there are
teams

* altair is leaving to go out into the big blue room
<altair> thi big BRIGHT blue room...
<g-o-d> you mean outside?
<altair> g-o-d: yes
<altair> with the yellow Daystar
<g-o-d> and the green and sometimes black carpet
<altair> yeah...
<g-o-d> cool

<madlocust> notmany women have me so into them that I can see
them as a great friend
<madlocust> and in her case...my best friend
<|ced> so write a poem, fag

<rsb> i saw a very disturbing thing this morning
<wjr> oh?
<rsb> a dirty bum
<rsb> he smelled bad even, on the street for awhile
<wjr> ah yes
<rsb> he asked me for money
<rsb> and
<rsb> he had a solaris 8 shirt on

<MepitansTAD> this kid we call Crosswalk Kramer tried to kill
himself by walking into traffic
<MepitansTAD> but he walked in front of a truck going 15 mph
and he was in a crosswalk
<MepitansTAD> the truck just stopped and asked him to move