<cloud_171> u can't learn lots of stuff by reading

<Grim13> Mariah Carey's cleavage got nominated for "Worst
onscreen couple"

<Demented1> stupid Gonzaga...just unpacked my "Cinderella My
Ass" Tshirt

* ETP runs away like a one legged trialathete in the special
olympics of your mind

* +ETP checks his sweet, sweet ass, for human hands

<theTrick> Canada volunteered 10 Battleships, 4 Jet Fighters,
and 200 Soldiers to the U.S. anti-terrorism cause, after the
exchange rate, that came up to 4 canoes, 2 flying squirrels
and 3 canadian mounties

{Plag} i liked women at 13
{Plag} even 11
{Pest} i liked woman since third grade
{Beat-Boy} ive liked men since i saw your sister

{Sexican} oh I heard some legends about a world where you
could get a gf and stuff.
{[12Lurk} its a place where women put out
{SoCK} url?

<Genocide7> Happy B-day Ass.
<FT|Vass>Thanks Geno! :)
<FT|Vass> Hey! Wait a sec...

<@whistler> on the down side i no longer have a phone
<@whistler> on the up side i have a brand new bong

<@whistler> i just tried to change my pants
<@whistler> and put them on backwards
<@whistler> and didnt realize till i went to take a shit

<ExDthGONE> What I really want to see is stuff like "Heart
Surgery For Dummies" and "What's With All Those Silly Dials
Anyway?: A Cliff Notes Piloting Crash Course"

<Phillip`> i just had starbucks coffee
<K_Russell> join #someonewhocares :(
<Phillip`> no one is there :(

<whistler> I PLANNED IF WE WERE BOMBED BY CANADA
<whistler> I PLANNED IF BIG BIRD TOOK OVER THE WORLD
<whistler> BUT THE ONE THING I NEVER PLAN FOR ALWAYS HAPPENS

<Joelz> im gonna savet hgis log so I can prove im drunk

<Joelz> How good is it, when you've badly gotta take a
leak....but you can't be stuffed getting up, but there is an
empty coke bottle next to you and....nevermind.
<Bigchris> what happens if you have to chuck a shit?
<Joelz> That's what shoes are for.

ForeverDamnation: Ben wants to chew on some penis.
blx001: you mean snickers
ForeverDamnation: No, I believe I mean penis.
blx001: no you mean snikers
SmiLex05: is that was the gay communty calls it now

*** Pikachu has joined #Distro
<kurai> Gah.  Fucken' Pokemon crap - hate it.
<kurai> Some twat in the office thought it would be "cute and
friendly" to name all the servers etc after bloody Pokemon
characters.
<kurai> The incident that mainly brought about this hatred was
the time a particular SQL server fell over (yet again)...
<kurai> So I shout across the (full) office to a colleague "Oi
! Pikachu's just gone down on me again !"
<kurai> Mind you - it was amusing seeing one dumb bint
snorting coffee out of her nose she was laughing so hard.
<Pikachu> ? ! I don't go down on pppl !!
<kurai> SO you are small, yellow, annoying *and* don't give
head ?
<kurai> What a pointless life - top yourself right now.
*** Pikachu Quit (Ping timeout)
<basto> Wow - you are like some evil mind controlling Guru or
somthin'

<Vill> I think anti-cornform has great meaning to an eleiteist
<Gotterdammerung> Vill: learn how to spell :P
<Vill> Gotterdammerung: I did then I fucked up when I learned
to type :(

<@assman> api
<@assman> who'd you go to senior prom with
<@icmp> ;/
<@icmp> my hand
<@icmp> :[

<abashta> I agree with you, bombing afghanistan to eradicate
terrorists is like bombing the ghetto to get rid of the drug
dealers

<eugenics/#help> hi, i was going to search for how to cook an
omlette online.. but i dont know how to spell it

<[sPaG]> I USED TO LISTEN TO NSYNC WHEN THEY WERE UNDERGROUND

<Omega> why do your parents hate you
<Rai> they dont like it that I never come home... I've become
somewhat of a drifter of late, till I work things out with
airlines/bus
<Rai> I travel to friends houses on my bike, up and down the
highway and sleep where I can
<Rai> its fun
<Omega> lol
<Omega> so your a hobo
<Rai> we prefer to be called "domestically challenged"

<Lyme> you know, sometimes, I ponder underwear.

<Valenthios> When we RPed that little convo with her and
Gygus, I said "She seems to be quite beautiful, even though
she's human."  He says "Bitches is bitches."
<Gygus> Heeheeheeheee.....

<Deke> living with a Tobin is odd
<Deke> so Cass started cleaning up, since she found out that
people're
<Deke> coming over
<Deke> and found 2 20GB drives in the couch
<Deke> most people find coins
<Deke> we find disk drives

<Vile-> i need to take a shit
<Vile-> im going to go in my cats litter box
<Vile-> and my mom will go up stairs
<Vile-> and see a huge long shit in the litter box
<Vile-> and be like wtf

*** Quits: nanm (Quit: Unable to join #real_life (You're
banned))

<azrael69> wtf did i really start typing Oasis lyrics AGAIN?!
i gotta cut back on the intoxicants

*** marily-manson was kicked by Satan (amature)

«FivePee»: brb gotta piss and get a cock
«FivePee»: omg
«FivePee»: get a coke
«Electronut»: rofl

beauty_fades_stupid_ls_forever: holy crap, my mom is online!!
citygirl30_56308: lmao
cherbare36: lol
beauty_fades_stupid_ls_forever: ok...she didnt say hi to me..
beauty_fades_stupid_ls_forever: poor mom, she gets so lost
when you hand her a keyboard and a mouse
soooopafox: LoL my grammy is so adorable with the puter.
beauty_fades_stupid_ls_forever: now when you hand my mom a
remote, a phone and a credit card, she goes to town...
soooopafox: LoL @ QVC

<JCDenton> i wasn't flooding............
<JCDenton> i was sharing

<destiny> storeobject(mydick,"madbombers\\ass");
<Woohoo> :)
<madbomber> w00t

*** UndErX has joined #help
<UndErX> sup lamer newbies
<UndErX> answer this if u r not newbiez:
<FiEsTy-> well, ask
<UndErX> no newbie lamer
<UndErX> lamerz
<FiEsTy-> hey please dont type /quit fiesty- because it makes
me quit IRC.. please
*** Quits: UndErX (Quit: fiesty-)

<packrat> HELP
<defected> Looks like it.
<packrat> stfu ur just a lamerz newbie i m an
expert................
* defected waits for the lame question.
<packrat> k now how do i make hacker toolz wih irc
<packrat> plz

<extrasupreme> This one time, i scored this chick at the
pub...in the TOILETS !
<dunnakin> no you didnt you lying fuckhead
<extrasupreme> ok, i made it up
<extrasupreme> damn.

Stinkysteven67: I love married with children. Its a great
show.
Lucy17: It's ok, One thing that bugs me about that show,
In the pilot series they had Al bundy sounding like he was
from Brooklyn
or something when they are supposed to be from Chicago.
Stinkysteven67: Where do you think brooklyn is dork?
Lucky17: Its in new york goofball, chicago is in illinios.
Stinkysteven67: Oh sorry, I've never been good at geometry.
Lucy17: Umm yea..

<@drew> my uterus is bleeding
<@cognac> drew, you don't have a uterus
<@drew> oh

<Puck> Damnit, I'm tired.
<DeathCrow> You just woke up.
<Puck> I only had an hour nap!
<DeathCrow> No, I'm saying that's why you're tired.
<Puck> Well, that explains it.

<@drew> saceist is a kind of person who always has that dumb
look on his face.
<@saceist> huh?

<Crono> hey guys, wanna hear a joke?
<Dogmeat> Daikatana!
<Crono> My punchline, jerk.

<FishNetGirl> guess what I haveeee....
<KrackWhores> mountain dew?
<FishNetGirl> mmhm, yup.
<KrackWhores> well guess what I have
<FishNetGirl> mountain dew?
<KrackWhores> no
<KrackWhores> a penis
<FishNetGirl> i know
<FishNetGirl> er...

<DmDragon> all my cars are haunted
<DmDragon> i had one car where the glove compartment would
keep opening at random times
<DmDragon> so it opened once and i just finally said "fuck you
stay open" well the car stalled out the radio turned on and
off and the flashlights started flashing while the windshield
wipers started
<DmDragon> so i slowly reached over and closed it.. then the
car just went back to normal

<himem> I love my cat's tight vagina
<Cows[Pwnage]> :P
<himem> Would you stick out your tongue in real life? No, you
wouldn't. Then ":P" is pretty stupid.

<agnarth> what'd u do to mort?
<JeSuS> somebody packeted him
<JeSuS> some guy we've never met before
<agnarth> heh
<JeSuS> he floated down, like an angel from the sky, and
smited mort with his oc12 ;(

Doctor_Rohipnol: bad sex is like bad pizza
neo_crashoverride: it comes back to haunt you doc?
beauty_fades_stupid_ls_forever: avoid the crust, doc?
Doctor_Rohipnol: well ya

<^Fizban^> I need an external modem. Anyone have one I can
download?

<eller> i ate sushi today
<eller> i hoped that it would cure my hangover
<eller> but i just puked it up
<motardo> not good
<eller> raw fish is even more disgusting when it comes out of
your mouth...
<eller> it swims in the toilet on its own.