<ncc386> It seems to be an oral fixation that drives me to
smoke and when I quit 3 weeks ago I started eating more. If
that's the case there is a healther, cleaner, more fun oral
practice that could satisfy me.

<redfox> hmmm.. i heard a loud noise downstairs
<redfox> nobody's home, brb... investigating
<Rezn0r> it's your sense of self-worth running away
<Rezn0r> and knocking over furniture on its way out

<Wee_AL> ah well im prosb gona buy the new RHCP album
<Wee_AL> actully shit ill just borrow it
<Wee_AL> no cash
<DjSatansfury> im probably just gonna have a wank, and listen
to myself moan as i cum, 'cause it'll sound the fucking same

<Evilmonkey> I SWEAR TO GOD IT WAS MY MOM NOT MY DAD..
<Evilmonkey> i wouldnt dream about my dad.. im not gay.. er..
shit.

<@harb> farq: Do I look like the sort of man who'd go and find
unsuspecting Japanese schoolgirls in short skirts and white
panties and ask them if they want to see my "Cthulu Special"?
< farq> harb: no, but I just got a new .sig

<MrPuppy> like 3 hours ago
<MrPuppy> i was wankin to porn and i just got up
<MrPuppy> my door was open and my parents have been walkin
around
<MrPuppy> they prolly saw me
<MrPuppy> i heard them laughing

<[11]HannyArZ> hello, where can i buy chanserv?  I will trade
warez for it

<Stemish> my 450Mhz celeron built world in 1:40:18.95
<Stemish> my dual 500MHz celeron built world in 1:44:47.17
<Stemish> what is wrong with this picture?
<todd> There's no naked chicks in it?
<Stemish> well, that too

<@Tilt> this is the funniest thing i have ever read in a
sources TODO list
<@Tilt> o Learn C

<endura> fuck women, I got me a national geographic and a
bottle of gergins hand lotion, I'm fucking set for the next 10
years

<@Afterglow> .  I also have a familiarity with local area
networks, including DHCP, DNS, penis, and Microsoft networking
file shares.

<kdoom> Duke: you need a hobby
<DukeNukem> kdoom: like beastiality?
<kdoom> perfect

[ctcp(the_sponge)] PING
ùíù CTCP PING reply from The_Sponge: +++ATH

<@Linguica> you say "katana" and while the rest of us guys
think of ninja swords, AndrewB thinks of doll dresses

<Jon_R> OH NO
<Jon_R> my page crashes netscape!
<Jon_R> whatever shall I do

< Tobester> I downloaded a file named JESSICA ALBA LESBIAN
PORN SEEN DIVX at 12mb and it was a guy fisting himself

[#perl]
<fraggle> how many days does it take to compile perl 5.6.1 on
a 486?
<diclophis> haha

<Valkyrie> no, but Westlife is fake
<Valkyrie> Flying without wings?
<Valkyrie> PUHLEAZE
<Valkyrie> more like getting high on KFC

<MartinBlank> I knew a guy who dressed up for Halloween as a
giant penis with ferns growing around the base, and said he
was dressed as a dickweed.

<manero> MANLY THINGS:
<manero> 1) JOHN WAYNE
<manero> 2) WAR MOVIES
<manero> 3) BEER BRATS
<rebrane-> 3) WAR MOVIES WITH JOHN WAYNE
<rebrane-> 4) FARTING
<manero> 5) LARGE CIGARS
<rebrane-> 6) CARS
<rebrane-> 7) FIRE
<manero> 8) BOWLING
<rebrane-> 9) CARS ON FIRE
<ian> 10) BEAR SUIT
<rebrane-> 11) GUNS
<rebrane-> 12) GUITARS
<skitzo> 11) ANAL SEX WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND IN THE TOOL SHED
<Primary> 13) JOHN WAYNE'S GUN
<rebrane-> there's already an 11, skitzo

<roman> as soon as i wake up, i'm going to the atm to get 200
bucks..
<roman> then i'm ordering a whore
<foobar> haha roman no you're not
<roman> dude, i called one today and she was like "do you need
company for tonight?" and i was like "well, maybe" and she was
like "for 200, i stay an hour and a half, we get naked and we
get nasty"
<roman> you order them like pizza, dude

< espo> this movie would be better if Mel Brooks made it
< h2odragon> schindler's list?

<limeking> Hey jen, ya wanna come over and we can wrap
ourseves in plastic, shit ourselvves, and then eat our own
shit while listening to MC hammer?
<Jennie254> Ewwwww gross!
<Jennie254> That's fucked up! Why would you even THINK I'd
want to listen to MC Hammer?? .

<Tocool> Im so bored
<Tocool> I can predict my day
<Tocool> I woke up at 12:30, will sit around on computer till
about 4, head to work, come back at 10:30, sit on computer
till 2, go to bed
<Shaddix> pretty good
<Tocool> This isnt the normal course of action, just recent
turn of events have left me with very lil to do
<Shaddix> oh
<Shaddix> impotentcy?

<JaYsOn``> why the fuck do i always attract gay dudes
<moonbeam> um, well you do go to gay bars
<JaYsOn``> yeah but im straight! surely theres other straight
guys there

<grier> you think you're so god damn floorless
<grier> so superior
<XfitzyX> do you mean flawless?
<girer> oh fucken leave me alone
* grier has quit IRC (Exit: i am so alone in this empty world)

<Packet> my boss just walked by one of the contractors that
get canned friday
<Packet> and goes "HEY! I thought I fired you!"
<hmodes> "oh wait, i did..  HAHAHAHAHA!"
<hmodes> i aspire to crush people's souls like that some day

<Nago> hmm... my coke tastes a bit like flesh...

<Nago> ... can you transmit aids from your hand to your cock?

<Freakazoid> its like putting hotdog skins over dog turds

<B-ob> if (sleep < 0) then talk = null
<Stonefish> oh smeg off

Pat877:    nice...
OB1Jenobe: w3rd
Pat877:    ok stop that
OB1Jenobe: wh4t?
Pat877:    i don't under stand that crap.. and u know it
OB1Jenobe: 0 |<
Pat877:    dick

<[OKW]Buchwald> is it "cheating" on your girlfriend if you
invite a couple of girls over to get naked, and you end up
jerking off on to their tits, but you never touch them?
<[SS]Corky> NO!
<[SS]Corky> did this happen?
<[OKW]Buchwald> well, gimme a few minutes :)

<mptBreak> hyatt, what are you doing?
<hyatt> mpt, sitting here in my underwear talking to you.

<Zephyrr> Nobody should steal my band's name...not that they'd
want it...but if they do, I'll tell my mother and she'll do
stuff...
<Zephyrr> So there.
<Undine> Fear Zephs mom.
<Undine> She does stuff.

<NobleKale> old friend emails me with 'I have two special
consideration exams next week. what do I study for them?'
<NobleKale> my reply: 'RTFM'

<Bytie> speeding in dk is transcending stupidity
<Bytie> there aren't many roads up to it

<+subzero> =)
<@nebula> ;)
<@wickeD> =)
<Guest62972> :D
<@sony> SHUT THE FUCK UP HAPPY BASTARDS ARR

<Vash> wee-hee... I got two mroe week sof holidays = D
<^bat-sai> soldier of fortune holidays?
<Vash> eh?
<Samin> there the best kind

·IAM-|speed|· 1v1 || gay butt sex || de_bed
·IAM-|speed|· 1v1 || gay butt sex || de_bed
·jimslim· !rules

<Daishi> i couldn't connect to irc, so i went out with my gf
instead

<BloodFromStone> I think my bathroom has the perfect geometry,
so that no matter where or how something is dropped, it ends
up in the toilet.

<Edge> i am right when I say there's no other reasonable
explanation for anakin and amidala bringing R2D2 to naboo if
not to shoot some really nasty homemade holographic porn?

<Slime> Whenever hot chicks come up to me I always end up,
like, vomitting everywhere and somehow my pants fall down, and
then someone has a black eye, and everything goes wrong

<Kevyn> So if black guys like white girls, and white guys like
asian girls... what do the asian guys like?
<etoilet> hentai

<uno> you don't see us tossing around phrases like "throbbing
cock" do you?

<Pepsi> A Smith and Wesson beats four Aces.
<Tjousk> only if it's loaded

<loser> http://www.goatse.cx
<loser> hahaha lol lol lol
<loser> you looked didn't you? HAHAHAHA
<bane> who gave you your name? your mom?
<bane> whoeva gave it to you, congratulate them for me will
you?
<bane> it's appropiate

{Trevy} Canadians don't hate the U.S. {Ertai} canadians are
too simple for such a complex emotion

{ExDeath} If I had a baby like Shiv, I'd shove it back in and
put stitches in my wife's vagina ;(