<maddox> You know what I hate?  Programs that pretend like
they're sentient beings.  Ftp daemons are the worst.. you type
"bye" and it responds: "221 bye bye".. or your login fails and
you execute a command, it says "log in first, then I might let
you do that."  Yeah?  Well echo "fuck you" > /usr/bin/ftp
<professor> hahaha.
<maddox> "bzip2: I won't write compressed data to a terminal."
<maddox> no, "you" won't write anything because you can't. 
You're a piece of shit binary written by a lonely programmer
who has seen 2001 too many fucking times.

<Mojojojo> omg
<Mojojojo> there was some poo on my bedroom floor
<Sureshot> yours?
<Mojojojo> I DONT FUCKING KNOW

<|Phreak|> Mind2: do you know of anything to benchmark/
stresstest an ftpd?
<PsychoOne> phreak: make a post to slashdot telling them you
have naked pictures of richard stallman
<Mind2> you don't want naked pics of stallman.
<Mind2> the nutbag of a nutbag is not recommended viewing.

<sab0tage> who thinks an Imperial Star Destroyer could take a
borg cube?
*** sab0tage was kicked by Q (You are BANNED from this
channel.)

<Oz> Psionic?
<Oz> oh my god
<Oz> isn't a Psionic one of those things that girls use to
train their vaginal muscles?

<Atreides> crap i just deleted dransik
<Atreides> stupid gms..
<[Blitzkrieg]> lol
<Bartolimis> You're calling the GMs stupid because YOU deleted
dransik?
<Atreides> yep

<Arcane[maid]> i stole one of those blue signs that says
"phone" on it
<Arcane[maid]> what should i do with it
<suds> stick it down your pants and ask hot chics if they want
to call collect.

<error[dw]> you are a SICK SICK MAN
<GuyIncognito> It's delicious.  Can only find it in
Philadelphia/Delaware area.
<GuyIncognito> About two years back, they ACTUALLY HAD ON THE
LABEL of Hormel Scrapple "No pig anus!"
<AvatarADV> Man, how poor do you have to be to voluntarily eat
something that has "no pig anus!" on the label and consider it
a selling point?

<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<Quintus> let me get this straight
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<Quintus> if i understand you correctly
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<some_big_boobs> YOU'RE GAY
<Quintus> two words, two syllables, sounds like..

<TMT> I have my gf keep me warm in the winter. ^_^
<Y|yukichigai> Sigh.... all I have are cats
<prophecy> all I have is a tiger blanket -.-
<TMT> crazy cat person! Run!
<TMT> jk
<prophecy> =p
<prophecy> truth be told, I am a furry. *hides, expecting to
be lynched*
<Y|yukichigai> I'm a furry too.  It's just that most people
don't find it attractive when you keep getting your velcro
watchband caught on your ass

<@[TeMpEsT]> ok, let me get this straight. you called me a
power bitch, tried to ping me off line, went around asking for
the chanserv password, and then tried to evade a ban. and now
you want me to op you and your damn bot so you can try to take
over the channel?
<|TheRaR|> no, you only need to op the bot
<mazrim> oh, you stupid stupid fuck.

<Mandingo> This is why I go to CNN.com.
<Mandingo> http://www.cnn.com/2002/US/08/08/porn.patriot/
index.html
<American> im not clicking on anything that says porn patriot
<AirsickMoth> some american.

<the_drunk_farmer> uh oh...was i gone too long?  there is a +
by my name  am i going to be kicked soon?

<Tracer> i recently had a to punish an engineer at work
because the video camera's in the main assembly hangar caught
him wacking off in the cockpit of a F-16..

<MrP-> hmm i was talking to a 15 year old female about enemas,
isnt that illegal or something?

<Stingray_> JeyK: we should open a site similar to thinkgeek
where people can order IRC-related stuff
<JeyK> Stingray_: I'm scared of dot bombs!
<Stingray_> like shirts that say "My dad can /kick your dad"
<JeyK> haha
<SamBecket> lol
<JeyK> "Your son may have straight As, but my son can /kick
your son"
<Stingray_> lol
<Stingray_> that would be a good bumper sticker
<Stingray_> alas, I'm a bit young to pull that off
<JeyK> I've seen "Your son may have straight As, but my son
can ____ your son" a lot
<Stingray_> how about "Your son may have straight As, but your
daughter has double Ds and don't my son know it!"
<JeyK> ROFL

<Dejavu> axxess plz close the msn window immediately. dont read
it PLZ!
<axxessdenied> wow
<axxessdenied> whee
<axxessdenied> your password
<axxessdenied> MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
<Dejavu>
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<u-238> PARA FOR SHIT'S SAKE JUST LOOK AT MY ATOMIC MASS

<BeerLuver> My name is Osama....I sleep with a llama.....I
masterbate with AK, lubing it up with my jizz is OK...macking
the taliban, hoes suckin me off man....camels be bumpin, from
my mad ass jihad humpin....w3rD biaaaaaaatch

* supreemballs listens to (#69): Richard Simmons & Little
Richard - Together Forever.

The_Fur: where do i fail again?
BadMojo: First off, you're the product of a failed abortion.
Then your mother failed to drown you properly, only enhancing
your retardation. Then you failed to develop inter-personal
skills, a sense of a humour, and functioning testicles. After
that, you completely failed to "have sex" or what I like to
call "fucking." After which, you failed to enhance your brain
to a proper level.
BadMojo: Then, you failed to make sensible arguements, failed
to make funny statements, failed to win, and invariably you
will try to shoot yourself in the skull and fail at that too,
whereupon you will accidentally shoot two house cats and a
small schoolgirl.
BadMojo: Then you will fail to make a logical case in court,
where you will fail to be found innocent, and you will go to
prison, where the only thing you will succeed at is being jail
raped and then murdered by a fatman
BadMojo: Okay, let me rephrase: you will fail to properly
protect your anus from a fatman in prison, and you will fail
to have a knife-proof head, directly resulting in your
subsequent failure to live
BadMojo: whereupon your organs will be donated to science,
where your heart will fail, killing a small child, your lungs
will fail, killing an elderly man, your liver will fail,
killing a recovering alcoholic, and your kidneys will fail,
making somebody pee everywhere

<poaw> Man, I remember seeing them live in concert, and they
were wearing these really short shorts.....
<poaw> ...and some of Lance's ball sweat landed on my tongue.
That was the defining moment in my life.

<@cvd> is it odd that i've watched so much porn that I
recognize boobies?
<@axxessdenied> no
<@axxessdenied> its perfectly normal
<@axxessdenied> ...i hope
<@cvd> is it odd that i've watched so much porn that I
recognize boners?
<@axxessdenied> OMFG GAYZ!!!!!!!
<+auero> I'd go to a doctor about that

<Thrash123> Yes, because they "reviewed the URLs and came to
the decision that my User ID was being used to view
pornographic material"
<Thrash123> So I'm getting accused of trying 243 times to
access porno :)
<Dank_Budz> they must have seen goatse.cx
<Thrash123> Yeah

<My3blKa> bizee go get your vacum and imagination.
<andro> I've heards its bad to do that w/ a vacuum
<supreemball> it hurts

<iKon> it's like they took my buying habits and offered me the
exact opposite of everything i've ever purchased
<Queued-S> What, they're offering you heterosexual literature
without pictures?

<BadMojo> when I finally have kids, I'm going to constantly
tell them "i fucked your mom"

<Stooert> thats funnier than a retarded jew eating a potato
pancake

<RedXIII> anal with jennifer lopez would be like basketball
with michael jordan... or bible study with jesus

<sluggy> i need a pen
<cyan> dont you have one in your pants?
<Stooert> that sucked
<cyan> im bored
<sluggy> dont you have a bored in your pants?
<sluggy> AHAHAHAH

<RedXIII> I'm thinking of becoming a health inspector :o
<RedXIII> "there's a 20 in this for you if you let that whole
cockroach thing slide"
<RedXIII> "vishbar, you drive a hard bargain"

<Stooert> asian girls with big boobs rule
<RedXIII> they do
<Stooert> cuz its just so rare
<RedXIII> like a clown with a phd

<sluggy> my essay kinda sucks, its not long enough
<Stooert> talk about fight club
<sluggy> Both Caesar and Brutus had good intentions and good
qualities about them. However, they both contained flaws that
led to their downfall, thus making them both "tragic heroes"
in the Shakespearian sense. Self improvement is masturbation,
and you are not your fucking Khakis.

o0zeman: brb, need fluids.
haq: coincidentally, I have to pee.
haq: let's get together and have a double-blind mountain dew
taste test
o0zeman: haha

<xoopx> america is bart, canada is millhouse

<jiy> every time i join a suicide channel on dalnet i get
banned and accused of being a troll
<jiy> today, when the fuckers were discussing cutting, i said
"tell me how to cut myself"
<@skold> you dont know how to cut yourself?
<@skold> how the fuck can you screw that up?
<@skold> no wonder you want to kill yourself

<skold> i had the wierdest fucking dream
<skold> me and the gang from scooby doo were strapped to those
bed things in the back of some car for a mental institute

<Eclipse> at least they don't taste like yellow listerine
<Eclipse> that stuff is horrible
<skold> 'ear wax flavor'
<Eclipse> that doesn't begin to describe it
<Eclipse> it's like ear wax dissolved in a mixture of gasoline
and urine

<@RuneCaster> but they cost you an arm, leg and your left
testicle
<skold> i wonder why someone would want your arm, leg and
testicle
<@RuneCaster> skold: MacDonald's

<skold> 'the wilder funeral home - let your loved ones have a
wilder funeral' ;)
<liss> i dont think those places have mottos
<liss> it isnt mcdonalds
<skold> 'did somebody say embalming?'

<Animepix> NEW SAILORMOON EPS STARTING ON THE 12th
<Unit01> [Animepix]: go get all your little fairy friends and
tell them

<kentyman> Show the following problem is NP-complete:  The
dominating-set problem:  given a graph G and an integer k,
does there exist a subset S of G with k nodes such that each
node is either in S or adjacent to a node of S?
<Oax> exactly k nodes
<kentyman> yes, but adding nodes wouldn't change it, no?
<Oax> no
<Oax> it's monotone
<kentyman> like my prof

<poke> i'm not afraid of flying.
<poke> i'm afraid of being 35,000 feet in the air and suddenly
*not* flying.

<st|ng-x> sammy try this, you have a 50/50 chance at getting
very ahead...walk into boss' office and yell at him "you SICK
FUCK...gimme a promotion and a serious raise now or I'll tell
your wife everything I saw" then walk out not leaving him a
chance to retort

<Preacher> my arsehole brother has just told me he's sold me
playstation ages ago
<Preacher> i'm fecking livid
<Preacher> i've been salivating about FFVIII and now i can't
play it :(
<Preacher> he better have some cash left cause he's gonna need
it for the new knee caps when i do the fecking little twat
<Mousey> go sell his guitar preach
<Preacher> it's my fecking guitar

<Fixxxer> I'm thinking about using Jennifer Connelly's breasts
as a setting for an adventure

<Mr_Bandit> i defraged my screen, its cleaner now

<Scorp10n> god I'm an idiot
<Scorp10n> I have to like make icons on my desktop to help me
remember shit
<Scorp10n> because that's like the only place where I'm 100%
sure to see them unless the power goes out

<Mr_Bandit> its LMAO not imo

<Feeldeath> Man i had a bad day !!!
<Formin> o great =( what happened?
<Feeldeath> well i was masturbating on my couche an I fell of
<Formin> hahaha o god
<Feeldeath> thats not the worst part. i hit my head on the
coffee table and knocked myself out and my mom came in and
found me unconscience on the floor with my dick in one hand
and a porn mag in the other.
<Formin> lmao