<+[zc]Kinslayer> I tried to have this customer read off his
modem's brand name and he said he can't read...stupid Memphis
customers.
<+[zc]Kinslayer> so I was wondering wtf he's going to do with
the Internet, but then I remembered you don't have to read
pr0n
<+[zc]Kinslayer> as long as you can type "neked chiqs" you're
all set

<briancuz>My mom is ashamed of me because i'm not an alterboy.
My dads ashamed of me because i'm not a football star
<sswoop182>sooooooo............Tackle a priest

<Danny> i never had problems with any italian folks
<Dr SpaZZo> I've had a problem with them grabbing me by the
neck and offering me a vanilla coke

<Boogieman> I run my fingers up your left thigh
<Boogieman> oops, uhh, wrong channel
<Status> LOL!!
<Boogieman> forget you ever saw that
<Status> Gee, now would be a great time to take that new
screenshot...
* Boogieman glances around nervously
<Asmodi> rofl, boogieman, what cha doin?
<Boogieman> certainly not trying to have permiscuous sex with
cyber strangers, thats for sure

<klockwerk> If you were on a bus full of gay guys would you
get off?
<cornelius> yeah
<cornelius> wait... no
<cornelius> shit

<drunkers> sugas in jail now
<RtWhO> whats your source?
<RtWhO> I thought he was on his honey mooon
<drunkers> same thing

<Ak0> fuckin hell
<Ak0> am i the only person who has these probs with ofp
<GUZZA> the short answer whould be 'yes'
<GUZZA> the long answer would be
'yyyyyyyyeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssssssssssss'

<Rodent> I wish I was still living at my parents...
Responsibility and freedom is overrated.
<Rodent> Not having to go shopping for food is god.
<Rodent> Not having to work is Jesus.
<alisdair> not being able to bring girls home is divine

<Sureshot> some cunt nicked my milk
<NyseriA> i was so fucked off last year with someone nicking
my milk i pissed in it
<Sureshot> ROFL
<NyseriA> i nearly fyucking died when i walked into the
kitchen in the morning to see the fucker eating it with
frostieS :)
<NyseriA> i have also soaked a cheese in rancid milk
<NyseriA> washed it
<NyseriA> and put it back in the fridge
<NyseriA> some fucker ate that as well

<m477[LainOS]> Phone call: "I can't get online" Sir do you use
AOL? "Yes" It's working then

<KKR[b0r3d]> i once had a wet dream and was glued to my bed
the following day

<[zc]Kinslayer> omfg
<[zc]Kinslayer> it's days like this i hate my fucking job
<[zc]FuLLcLiP|work|> why whats up
<[zc]Kinslayer> argh this customer cannot find her address bar

<FiZi> HEY I FOUND A COOKIE CRUMB ON MY SHIRT
* FiZi eats it
<FiZi> Aw crap
<FiZi> It wasn't a cookie crumb

<jimblob> did you know that haggii (thats more than one
haggis) have two legs shorter than the other two, this enables
them to run around hills very quickly, the down side is  that
, depending on which two legs are the shortest, the haggis can
only run round the hills in one direction
<miriamb> really Jim? 
<miriamb> gosh
<jimblob> yes miriam

<cha0s-> Dude, this one time I was playing mortal kombat as
Kano... and I did the fatality on my opponent and I go "ULTRA
COMBO FATALITY NIGGER WHAT" and my mom heard me :(

<@Bikutoru|gone> well, you beat me
<@Bikutoru|gone> i'm out of ammo
<+Edwin> already?
<@Bikutoru|gone> damn right
<+Edwin> jeez no wonder men call you the "minute man" in bed
<@Bikutoru|gone> =|

<miriamb>  is there really horse in horseradish

McPhile:  Planet Earth is God's shitty, exploitative reality
show.
McPhile:  I can just see him up there with Michael and
Gabriel, bag of microwave popcorn in his lap, watching. 
"Whoa!  Did you see THAT?  I didn't even know I built them to
do that."
ecstaticsurfacer:  Hell yes.  I've been saying for years that
my life is God's favourite soap opera.
McPhile :  Well, there's probably not enough sex in your life
for it to be His favorite.

(Makura) -_-
(@Shady) why the long emoticon?

<m477[Lain]> ok i know how to fix this problem, but you need a
webcam and have to be naked

<jehodgson> do fighter pilots actually wear bras on their
heads?

<RpgTheIdler> you know, if there was this girl, and she was
all like, "Let's have sex", but I was playing DDR, I'd be all
like "Bitch, can't you see I'm busy?"

<burrahobbit> "Hi, my name is Tyson Vandagriff and, I am going
to be your roommate next year at OU."
<burrahobbit> AND COMMA
<burrahobbit> HOLY CRAP MY ROOMMATE IS RETARDED

(+Mutsumi_Otohime): a m8 of mine had to go to the hospital, &
worried the staff there by talking about how I had worms, of
course, the staff didn't know he meant the game :P

* ILoveJackDaniels looks out of the window to laugh at the man
wearing a mini-dress dancing in front of a car
<ILoveJackDaniels> Accelerate, damn you!

<Soda_Tab> man its so much beter to not buy magazines and read
all the articles online...
<Soda_Tab> period.
<spazzer> that's unless you like bringing a laptop in with you
to read on the shitter

<Pandemonium> Those popups could poke someone's eye out.

<rogue2> a diablo SV just pulled in to my parking lot
<rogue2> it's michael bolton driving the diablo
<Snow> Did Michael Bolton really just drive a Lamborghini
Diablo into your parking lot?
<Snow> That's so absurd it's actually believable.
<Snow> Oh, I have to go. Edward James Olmos just pulled into
my drive way in a Panoz Roadster.

<ZedR> I've got...
<ZedR> ...
<ZedR> POWERS
<Drevlin> no
<Drevlin> you got sympathy :P

<@maff> if you are on dialup, do the rest of the world a favor
and dont share any files on any p2p networks
<@maff> i dont want to wait an hour to download a 5 meg mp3
just like you dont want   to wait an hour to upload it so lets
cut the bullshit and not have this problem in the first place

<grifferz> I am afraid we are going to have to jupe the nick
blitzed-is-gay since it is too politically incorrect. you may
however use many-blitzed-users-are-gay

<CrazySpence> my moms like "do you have the paper towels" *i
hand them over* "I know you use them for jerking off" *laughs
and closes the door*

<FoxyRoxy> i fucking fried my cd player badly i plugged it
into this outlet that had tape on it (god knows why) i didnt
even see any tape and it set on fire

<Taganath> Mary had a little lamb.  It bumped into a pylon. 
Ten thousand volts went up its arse and turned its wool to
nylon!

<Delidgamond> Naw, hoping it was the truth
<Delidgamond> I am the sexiest man alive after all
<Delidgamond> I mean, what woman WANT to get it on with me
<Delidgamond> fuck
<Delidgamond> said that wrong
<Malbi> no you said it correct

<nae> will you guys PLZZ stop that?
<nae> are there any mods around that can ban them plz?
<@Athene> nae: what is the problem?
<nae> correct me if i'm wrong but isn't this channel for d/l?
<@Athene> no, this is a chat channel
<nae> isn't htere any law against spamming?
<nae> slyspy hold 1 out of every two messages in here!
<@slyspy> nothing unusual in that
<@Athene> that is called a conversation
<@Athene> maybe you have had one before
<@Athene> or at least seen them in movies ;)
<nae> then can you plz convirsate in a new chat??? cause it
blocks 0.7 of my d/l's speed!

<psil0gik> is loving computers considered a symptom ?
<rewben> no a cure

<unknown> once I was wanking while playing doomII and someone
snuck up behind me and shot me in the back with his shotgun
and I almost tore off my helmet.. Folks I am telling you it's
not fucking worth it!!!

<jaff> once my heater caught on fire while I was playing t1 ,
but I had the flag so I was fucking torn, luckily I was on RW
and organised a very quick hand off

<Morelos> i think i want the rtfm shirt
<maxracer> whats rtfm
<Morelos> maxracer - i suggest you rtfm to find out
<maxracer> man rftm?

* CookieS rubs SC's boobie
<Kintaro_0e> C.c
<SC> O.O
<CookieS> I'm making a wish
<Kintaro_0e> A deathwish

<mig|sluice> trillian, like a capitalist social-democracy,
will suit me until I see something better to take its place.

<Affe> i got a dual head card today
<Arcane> what kind of dualhead card?
<Affe> radeon
<cardian> they make a radeon dual head?
<cardian> which one
<Affe> i dunno
<cardian> you dont know which card you bought?
<cardian> were you high?
<Affe> no
<Affe> it was a trade for services
<cardian> ahh
<Arcane> blowjob?
<Arcane> it musta been shitty head if they gave you a radeon
<cardian> hhaaahha

slurpee: got p2p?
Arcane: p2p?
Arcane: are you asking me for drugs?

<cams> dude
<cams> russians rock
<lavhoes> yeah, especially when you pay for them

<CrazySpence> i read a brit/canadian magazine an its full of
all these hints an tips for kinky ways of sex...look at an
american mag an its {why cant my man get it up} {does my fat
ass turn my man off} {my man last 30seconds or less}

(PowrSlave) how r things?
(DAMMiT_) good
(DAMMiT_) well
(DAMMiT_) except for the fact that my 88 GT just got blown
away by a Beetle with
a license plate labeled "KIWI"

<@Oz> just reading about the human genome project
<@Oz> what a waste of time, if only god had just released the
source with the binaries

<+Normandy> How poor is this.
<+Normandy> that exercise bike I've been lookin forward to
start building my leg muscles for the summer finally arrived
today
<+Normandy> yet I'm carryin it upstairs and twat it against my
knee, and now my uncle who is a doctor says i cant exert any
pressure on it for 2 bloody months

<cams> red: yea, well i'll take your land
<cams> then lie to you
<cams> and give you deseases
<reddiwhipper> that was the native americans
<cams> no, actually, im doing my impression of a woman