<Kirkburn> Shouldn't RCs be called Gamma?
<Maldivia> in Microsoft's case: RC = Alpha, Release = Beta,
Service Pack 1 = RC, Service Pack 2 = Release

<Erodice> 1 time last year we just had freezing rain and
people where goin' 60-70 mps over the bridge form where i live
to the main city New Bern. you never seen so many morons
slipin' an' swervin' and wouldn't anyone slow down it was
insane
<Bligyith> On the fire department we call those return
customers
<Bligyith> ...well not really, but I do

<archaios> I WAS A VIRGIN TIL 21
<poonTheta> archaios i thought you are 20 :|
<archaios> poonTheta: I am still a virgin
<archaios> I expect to get laid next year

<skulk> why the hell is wrestling on the scifi channel?
<skulk> that's like MTV playing music videos

Trev: dang baby did i tell u that u looked FINE today!
Trev: u looked likea dime
Trev: that was so sexy i just couldnt stand it
Grace: thanks trevor, you're lying
Trev: nooooo u were beautiful
Grace: trevor I was absent today
Trev: o

<dogs> we use IPv7 now
<dogs> it's pretty much IPv6, but the headers contain porn
<dogs> saves bandwidth

<Mulcibre> I just had a case of deja jew
<Mulcibre> I'd swear I've seen this $20 bill somewhere before

<ehFk> so today in class Mr. Frank was like "Guys, turn to
page 404...."
<ehFk> me being a smartass say "Sir.... I can't find it"
<ehFk> "Michael, It is page 404"
<ehFk> "SIR! I CAN'T FIND IT!"
<ehFk> I spent the next two minutes explaining  to my class
what 404 meant
<ehFk> and they all looked at me like I was the biggest
fucking nerd EVER
<TheTik> wow... speechless.

<raven^> What do I chmod a directory with to make it
accessable from the web?

<Folkomo> So in class today we were playing guesstures or
password- one of those games you have to guess a word or
phrase- my friend apparently got T.V., but I didn't know that.
He got up and said "Back in my Grandma's days, these used to
only be black and white."
<Folkomo> I fucked up and said "water fountains" outloud.
<Folkomo> ...thats why I got detention.

<stoertebeker> fleshlights make me want to puke
<RifleEyes> you're not supposed to deepthroat them

<ToxicFrog> My gaming machine is running 2k at the moment, but
I may have to downgrade to XP in the near future, or make it a
dual boot.
<LogiForce> Downgrade to XP ? :S
<LogiForce> 2k is older then XP. It is called upgrading.
<ToxicFrog> LogiForce: going from "bad" to "worse" is not an
upgrade even if "worse" was released after "bad".

<SaintAlvus> I wrote a book on an object that lets you
accelerate the passage of time.
<Bean> What was it called?
<SaintAlvus> Bong Mechanics

<karrde> i asked Windows to delete 36 000 files from a
directory, and i ve already waited for 15 minutes and nothing
resultes...
<LoL> it is preparing 36 000 "are you sure?" windows

<TuorSirfalas> I tried using my sis's G5 powerbook or
something
<Cloud02> she has a mac? poor thing.
<TuorSirfalas> she bought it for the logo
<TuorSirfalas> her words, not mine

(+GamerTony) is it bad when you and your fiancee start eating
the same things?
(@arfer) if it's pussy, yes

<Andymc> lawl 156 photos on my phone...
<Andymc> but i don't have a fuxxing way to get them onto the
comp... need a bluetooth dock or summat
<GriM> peel them off and re-apply glue?  Perhaps a mild
solvent to loosen the sticky?
<Andymc> You should apply for a job at Dell...

<Ugarte> I think I was 12 at the time, and I was at this
girl's house for some kind of party... I think her name was
Kate.
<Ugarte> Anyway, at some point she said she wanted to show me
something, and brought me alone to her brother's room. She dug
under his bed and took out a picture of a woman having sex
with a dog. Then she kissed me.
<Ugarte> I'm as confused about this now as I was then.

MasterH: They should make the entire world follow the same
timezone. They could have like orbital mirrors which reflect
the sun to every corner of the earth.,
MasterH: And have night at the same time.
Faethyr: And nightime would happen How?
MasterH: Turn off the mirorrs

<1> please tell me if there's any way to check if a table
exist in mysql database
<2> if (mysql_query('DROP TABLE table_name')) echo "table
existed";

<@CCFreak2K> Go down to your local Home Depot and ask for one.
<%Zeraliten> No such thing as Home Depot in eurofag-land :(
<@CCFreak2K> Then go to a Home...Gulag.

<@DemocracyDan> 5 votes to get kyhx banned!
<@DemocracyDan> fine if you are all going to spit in the face
of democracy by not voting we won't allow talking at all
* DemocracyDan sets mode: +m
* DemocracyDan is now known as NaziNorm
<@NaziNorm> this is what happens when you don't allow your
voices to be heard
<@NaziNorm> they get taken away
<@NaziNorm> think about that for awhile

<Holly> So I got my period, and i was bleeding, and my pad
leaked
<Jesse> Really?
<Holly> Yeah, and it leaked everywhere! And so i had to go
into the doctors, and they had to shave my vagina, it wasnt
good
<Jesse> Wow, i cant believe youre telling me this
<Holly> Well...its just girl talk
<Jesse> Jesse is a guy's name too

<Green> So I got in my car
<Green> and there was birdshit on my windsheild
<Green> so i got a paper towel and got out to wipe it off
<Green> but it wouldn't come off
<Green> and thats when I realized it was on the INSIDE
<Green> I had a hard time getting to sleep that night

<VFR8> Omg
<VFR8> I was driving home today and I saw the best license
plate
<VFR8> 56K SRY

<^zauberer> I do not speak the english well but I will use a
translator
<Xanpony> Sure, I understand :)
<^zauberer> :)
<^zauberer> you are of which pay
<Xanpony> Okey, there is problems with your translator :(

<shwS> I have 1½ pack left.. after that, I'm smoking.
<pu_ma> okay...
<shwS> I'm quitting*

<Jimmothy> i have girl hands
<Jimmothy> and nice nails to match
<@D1> the better to handle my ballz
<Jimmothy> anyone can hold peanuts D1
<@D1> ;[

<theGaurav x45>  yo i got
<theGaurav x45>  Microsoft Office 2007
<theGaurav x45>  greatest thing ever invented
<theGaurav x45>  so amazing
<theGaurav x45>  it took me 15 minutes to find spellcheck
<theGaurav x45>  but still
<theGaurav x45>  amazing

<+maaneeack> and I can't get off 56k if there is nothing else
<+maaneeack> 56k, or yelling, and there is waaaay too much
packet loss and downtime on yelling
<acquacow> that's what I tried to tell my mom
<acquacow> so I moved out
<acquacow> we now communicate digitally
<acquacow> and with the right spam filter
<acquacow> I hear nothing at all.

<Phyxius> Hmm there are some black people hanging around
outside the gates at the end of my driveway, brb
<Courtney> mkay hb
<Phyxius> HOLY SHIT THEYRE GONE
<Courtney> The black people?
<Phyxius> NO, MY GATES

<NerdyScientist7> Okay, I'm taking a survey, want to be in it?
<bigone> sure
<NerdyScientist7> Here's the question: How stupid are you?
<bigone> what do u mean
<NerdyScientist7> Thanks for your input.

<Golden> Am I the only one who thinks Dead Rising could be the
easiest Video Game to Porno transfer?
<Golden> The three main characters are a black guy, a hot
blonde chick and a photographer
<Golden> And they're stuck in a mall with zombies so they
can't escape
<Golden> Eventually someone is going to have a cock in their
ass while the hairy guy takes pictures of it

< Vice> if paris hilton came and wanted sex.. i think i just
might have
to concede..
< Vice> cos you never know
< Vice> she might have one of those "the millionth customer
gets a special prize" campaigne going on..

<SierraSonic> the internet is made up of 3 things
<SierraSonic> 99.9% porn
<SierraSonic> .1% violence
<Crash2> and 0% of?
<Marcx> 0% intellect

<Mewrr> reminds me back when I was writing reviews of soccer
matches on the web
<Mewrr> and going through access logs, I saw that some reviews
were orders of magnitude more popular
<Mewrr> eventually it occurred to me that Switzerland has a
Pro Soccer team named "Young Boys"
<Mewrr> turns out they have many followers worldwide
<dmacks> I bet
<Mewrr> to make things even funnier, the Young Boys play in a
stadium called "Wankdorf"

disturbed c0w: but jesus
disturbed c0w: how can you read all of bash
disturbed c0w: thats like reading the dictionary except cock
is in there a lot of times

<catnip> I saw this hot azn grrrrl today
<catnip> totally doable in many ways, none of which are the
way that God intended
<Crispy`> Well, that doesn't leave lots of room.
<Crispy`> I mean, minus making your own hole and fucking it,
every orifice is fair play.

Swift: top ten things I have to do before I die
Swift: one is to donkey punch a giant squid in the eye
X_Stickman: That should probably be last on the list

Lannister> they should make shock diapers that detect moisture
and electocute babies.

<wesleymason> The handwriting on these card envelopes look
like they've been written by a retarded 6yr old Basque speaker
who's learnt English off a box Engrish-translated Japanese
sweets.
<wesleymason> In a hurry.
<wesleymason> During a storm.
<wesleymason> At night.

<grr rapture> this is so gross
<grr rapture> my friend was having sex with this girl and
halfway through he realized she was on her peiod, but he
finished up anyway
<yadrisil> just like bush in iraq
<grr rapture> ?
<yadrisil> he doesn't know when to pull out of a bloody mess

ductape4yoursoul:  the hot Ukranian went to an In Flames
concert Sunday and got molested by some chick.
SupremeGeekBeing: ?
SupremeGeekBeing: is that some kind of code
SupremeGeekBeing: the flying bacon lands in moswll park at 5?
ductape4yoursoul: no, dude. The hot ukranian I met in Chicago.
She went to an In Flames concert and was molested by some
chick
SupremeGeekBeing: oh, the pink elephant runs into a shallow
well

<bluechip> so
<bluechip> apparently my younger sister
<bluechip> learning to drive
<bluechip> does not actually look behind her
<bluechip> when she backs up
<bluechip> or check any of her mirrors
<bluechip> so now, instead of having two separate cars
<bluechip> we have one.. big car

<HappyDude> ARGH, I think the definition of 'bad timing'
happened to me today
<HappyDude> I was sitting there watching a porn vid
<HappyDude> And it was just a naked girl in a spa
<HappyDude> Then, 3 things happened all at the same time....
<HappyDude> 1) I cum everywhere
<HappyDude> 2) My mum walks in
<HappyDude> 3) The "girl" stands up to reveal "she" has a huge
cock.

<ren> I fucking hate jehovahs witnesses
<ren> I saw 2 men in black suits knocking on my door so I
microwaved my hard drive :\

Gee: ROTFBMALFO = Rolling on the floor because my artificial
limbs fell off. :)

<cameltoe> Best resignation letter ever:
<cameltoe> Dear Mr X,
As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a
few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my
direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the
common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying
harassment of my co-workers and me during the commission of
our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few
true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little
nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into
my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of
precious oxygen. I was hired because I  know how to network
computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide
amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly
attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the
hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly
simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will
also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to
try and explain it to you.........
You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for
fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about
you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you
actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked
staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring
ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the
blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at.
Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.
Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting
a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my
resignation.
However, I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is
illegal for you to give me a bad reference. The most you can
say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have
friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to
keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it
on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system,
and I know every password you have used for the last five
years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your
"favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me
"back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like
"Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the company.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of
your Mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you
were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror n.de.
Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really
are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a
sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and
kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter
of reference. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having
to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the reference on my desk
by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of
your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the
public. Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why?
Because they know what you do with all that free time!
Wishing you a grand and glorious day'.

<HuhWhat> Since everyone's comign clean about bad things...
back when I was 15 or 16, my friend invited me along to a
family trip to Palm Springs. We were staying at some motel
with cable, so I figured it'd be a good opportunity to watch
some Iron Chef on the Food Network. Unfortunately, he would
drag me out to the hot springs and the pool where I, who can't
swim, would usually be the butt of his little pranks. He would
drag me down under into the deep end and jab his fingers into
my rib to try to make me drown. Anyways, at around 9:00pm, we
came back into our room to enjoy the instant noodles his
parents were making. I snuck into bathroom to take a piss and
while I was doing so I noticed his little sister's bathing
suit hanging over curtains of the bathtub/shower. It seemed
pretty clear that she had left it there after having taken her
shower. I couldn't resist and hoping nobody was outside, I
pulled it down and sniffed the crotch area where
<HuhWhat> Whoops.
<HuhWhat> Don't read that!
<HuhWhat> Fuck.

<The831st> soy milk makes you gay
<The831st> everytime i drink soy milk i cant help but think
"man, i'd much rather have a dick in my mouth than this."