Chrono-Z >> So yeah I think I'm going to invent a bra bomb and pay some crazy hard up person to wear it into airport security so bras will be banned on flights, from that point it's just a matter of finding a good seat to watch from.
<Computer> Today Chuck Norris was released as a downloadable patch for Street Fighter. When asked about a glitch that made all buttons force his character to perform a roundhouse kick, he responded, "what glitch?"
in ana ni xX: I pretend to be a dude on mIRC. in ana ni xX: Like, for instance, I just got banned from seven channels in less than 10 minutes! Hero by Words: Awesome. in ana ni xX: I know, I'm really cool. in ana ni xX: It pisses me off sometimes, in ana ni xX: how someone can slap me around with a fish, in ana ni xX: but I can't wank off into their eyes without getting booted.
vetiman: So I was in Bio today vetiman: And my friend Kyle says to this hot girl carrying a testtube rack vetiman: "Can we trade racks? I like your rack better." vetiman: And she just kind of smiled at him SibL: I would;ve killed him vetiman: And Kyle realized what he said, and grabbed her boob vetiman: The there was this awkward silence, they walked out of the room, and 5 minutes later he comes back with a broken arm... SibL: ouch...
<krad89> Why do black people wear pants so low? <krad89> Spell saggin backwards.
VisionSixTwo: In history class, our history teacher has a somewhat sporadic style of writing on the chalkboard. VisionSixTwo: for some reason, she wrote "HitlerxMussolini". I forget why. VisionSixTwo: I have suggested to Allison that wingfic must be written Arch mage144: "Adolf," moaned Benito softly. "Your moustache. It tickles me so."
Skecchi: me > you Knolly: Got it the wrong way around Knolly: you > me Knolly: Wait Knolly: Damnit Skecchi: thank you~ Knolly: ... Knolly: I hate you
<Phaelax> so what am i suppose to do with 175GB of wrongly named mp3s? <EddieGordo> stick them on gnutella <EddieGordo> they already have a good collection going
<electr0n> shitty, house broken into yesterday <electr0n> second time in under a year. hell under 6 months <electr0n> took my ps2 and laptop <electr0n> bastards. <electr0n> I am glad I hadn't bought a 360 because then i would be really pissed <pluis> nah, they'd never be able to escape while carrying the 360's power adapter
<TheFoundation> the statue of liberty was never meant as a peace offering <TheFoundation> the french just forgot to build an exit for their troops <Slash0> :D
<@Headknocker> what happens when 5 emos sit in a square room? <@Headknocker> one dies because he has no corner to cry in :D
<echeese> Man <echeese> I think I befriended a pedo sting <echeese> This chick's been 14 for 2 years now
<Spock> I haven't received an email in a week <Spock> and felt so lonely I bought a book off amazon.com <Spock> just to get a confirmation via email <Dougster> wow, you are even a loser in the internet <Spock> :(
< ice> mirc is like homosexuality. I respect it, but it's for others =]
<Vincerific> woot my AVG and my Ad Aware finished. I am now virus and trojan free * Spartacus^ has joined #Chatzone <Vincerific> damn and another Trojan just came in <Skiah> lmaoo
<evilada> godammit. I hate having to collaborate on projecs with music school kids. <immortalangel> why? <evilada> they reek. they reek so bad. <immortalangel> lol <evilada> I swear to god <evilada> it's like.. <evilada> imagine if pineapple was an animal, and lactated it's own kind of milk to nurse it's young. If you were to take some of this pineapple breastmilk, turn it into an odd cheese, then leave that hunk of cheese in a stale metal box in tropical heat for three months....THAT'S what the smell was like on these kids
<@Keron> no i think only catholics can confess <@LordBrian> time to convert <@Keron> no need to convert <@Keron> jesus has already prepaid your visa sin card <@Keron> he's already predied for your sins <@Keron> it's like being preapproved to sin <@liwei> that must have been a spectacular death <@Keron> only if you don't accept him as your savior, then instead of breaking your knee caps like a loan shark <@Keron> he sends you to hell <@Keron> kind of a bum deal if you ask me. <@LordBrian> sounds like a jew all right
TaipeiSS: o.o I love the Harvard common app supplement. TaipeiSS: they don't ask you stupid gay questions that you have to write essays to zenith251: They don't want no Jibba Jabba. TaipeiSS: the closest thing they ask is... TaipeiSS: Briefly discuss one book that has strongly influenced you. TaipeiSS: Briefly discuss. TaipeiSS: That's like, a paragraph or two. zenith251: But halfway through the space they provide "We said brief, damnit!" TaipeiSS: Not "500 -750 words on a quote that means something to your life and how you exude it in every situation" like fuckin gayassed Cornell zenith251: And if you keep going past that line, they don't read it. TaipeiSS: and they get this big purple stamp that says GAY TaipeiSS: and they stamp it on that part of your essay and print it and send it back to you in the mail TaipeiSS: And they include a handwritten postit where they laugh at you and say you have no friends.
<@Rize> hmm nice, after installing IE7 and booting, I got 4 messages saying the system has recovered from a serious mistake. <@Rize> is windows telling me something here? :D
<@hsb|> Apple could sell turd only if it were called iShit
SecureXeC: We're gonna get guns, hold you hostage, and rape you SecureXeC: And then beat you unconscious Krysta: :-[ SecureXeC: Then, when you wake up SecureXeC: We'll be all SecureXeC: YOU GOT PUNK'D BITCH SecureXeC: And you'll be like 'lol'
<Pulits> So we a have a masochist, a sadist, a zoophilic, a necrophile, a coprophilic and a fetichist. <Maltos> Why the fuck I have the impression this is going to be nasty? <Pulits> They're all in jail. So suddenly, the zoophilic says "Hey guys, lets fucking rape a cat!" <Pulits> And everybody is like "FUCK YES!", but suddenly, the coprophilic says "After we fuck it, we shit on it!" <Pulits> Everybody applauds. And the necrophile then says "Then, we kill it. And after that, WE FUCK IT!" <Maltos> Ok dude this is sick. <Pulits> Everybody is orgasmed. The sadist then says "Before we kill it, lets fucking torture it!" <Maltos> Jesus leave the cat alone! <Pulits> So the fetichist is like "And then, we dildo rape it! " <Pulits> Everybody is like "YEAH MAN LETS DO IT!" <Maltos> What does the masochist says, then? <Pulits> "Miau." <Maltos> HAHAHAHA. XD
<pmw> According to Wikipedia, "cum swallowing" is an "extreme" sexual act. <Supernaut> best. quote. evar <sxs> probably <tsowell> pmw: it doesn't feel very extreme when you're doing it, does it? <pmw> At least not after a few times. <Supernaut> i stand corrected <Supernaut> that exchange is the best
<Chelz> I type too fast and piss people off <Korox> i fail to see why people would be pissed at this <Korox> i like it when other peeps type fast <Chelz> lol <Chelz> Some people are like, "I CAN'T KEEP UP" <Chelz> lol <Korox> pfft, thats cuz theyre... uh... DAMNIT! <Korox> theres a sexual joke in there somewhere, and i cant get it!
Matt-0375> hear about the people getting sore from playing the wii controllers? thx-1192> Yeah, fatasses should get up and move more often Matt-0375> I'm just waiting for the headlines: "why does it burn when you wii?"
<Dr.Foongoggles> Ya see, the PS3 is hung like a horse. <Dr.Z> And the 360? <Dr.Foongoggles> The 360 is the guy who gives you that weird STD called "overheating". <TheShuffler> so what does that make the wii? <Dr.Z> You didn't notice? <Dr.Foongoggles> Well it is rather feminine. <TheShuffler> How so? <Dr.Z> .... <Dr.Foongoggles>.....Your Wii looks like a vagina, Dylan.
<DantesMinion> Hey baby, you took a 20 for bus tickets? <Esher> No. I got to work on a magical bus pulled by unicorns! <DantesMinion> REALLY!? <DantesMinion> BARBIE UNICORN ADVENTURES? <Esher> They told me I am the chosen child of destiny and my mission is to mate with all the women of the world to populate it with magical beasts of power <connor> lol wtf!? <DantesMinion> **growl** <Esher> Hey! You can't get mad at me! It's my DESTINY! <DantesMinion> every woman so that means the bald fat and ugly <Esher> Umm.. Err.. Except those ones? <DantesMinion> boy you gotta get it ON with them too <Esher> I don't love you anymore.
<trav> Christians have Jerusalem <trav> muslims have mecca <trav> stoners have amsterdam
* Chrispy is playing : naughty college girls volume 4 <Chrispy> ooops <Chrispy> :s <Chrispy> lol <Vaine> lololol <z3ph> HAHHAHAHA <+DJ_8-Ball|eve> rofl <%Crysis> lmfao <Vaine> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA <z3ph> HAHAHAHA
<Thrae> Your testes are egg-shaped, because testes used to be ovaries before your gender was determined pre-birth. <Thrae> All men started out with female sex organs until gender was specified. It explains a lot, eh? <ckknight> we overcame adversity.
Thomas says: Why do annoying people not realise how fuxing annoying they are, yet are the first ones to complain about stuff :| Roland says: ie Thomas brett says: I think you have just answered your own question thomas Thomas says: sigh Thomas says: whats the point Thomas has left the conversation.
<InfamousMyzt> bash.org mod college <InfamousMyzt> lesson 1: accept and deny buttons <InfamousMyzt> lesson 2: funny, or not? <InfamousMyzt> lesson 3: always accept racial jokes <InfamousMyzt> lesson 4: always accept quotes that mention bash.org <InfamousMyzt> lesson 5: if you can't decide, click deny anyways
* TechHut changes topic to 'Welcome to #Euphoria | SuperChill has no penis | "Peace, love, empathy" - Kurt Cobain' <TechHut> :) <ergoproxy> superchill does too have a penis... its just that it belongs to someone else, and its usually in his mouth.
hjdjoo: well, you know what they say hjdjoo: "the second-best way to get into a girl's pants is to play the guitar" hjdjoo: "the absolute best way is chloroform" hjdjoo: -plutarch hjdjoo: or was that plato? hjdjoo: it was one of the great philosophers i think.
RoyalPineapple: girlfirends are overrated RoyalPineapple: plus although sex with a girl is definitely more pleasurable, masturbation is so much more efficient SoAP: i'll take the real thing if i can get it RoyalPineapple: i dunno... ive gotten some bunk ass blowjobs, where im kinda waiting for it to end RoyalPineapple: thinking, ya know if i were alone i could finish this up lickedy split and still have time to watch House
MrHahn2265: she is my sister MrHahn2265: words really cant descibe her MrHahn2265: although I can attempt to describe her through massive bangings on the keyboard MrHahn2265: l.kjnfvgfg8ifgudfbpoicxv'lk MrHahn2265: woops i opened paint
SilverInsanity5: This girl next to me was looking up 'penis' on Wikipedia during English SilverInsanity5: So I asked if she wanted some hands-on learning instead looking at a computer SilverInsanity5: We got so many looks that day
<Apoc|Sharger> how do you masturbate when a blind man is watching you? <Apoc|Sharger> quietly.
<SailorAirman> everything is always more enjoyable when it's free <Tatumaru> not really <Tatumaru> I got raped once <Tatumaru> but I'd rather pay for a hooker
Nolano so this guy gets home Nolano and his wife tells him that his son got caught having sex with the teacher Nolano and so she tells him to go scold him Nolano so they go outside and he says Nolano "son, U'm really not angry with you Nolano In fact, I'm damned proud. Nolano But you need to pretend I'm mad Nolano After this, we're gonna go down to the bike shop and buy you a new bike Nolano So just look like your ashamed Nolano So they go down to the bike shop Nolano get the bike Nolano and he says to his son Nolano "Now, do you want to ride it home, or just put it in the truck Nolano And the son says Nolano "well dad, lets put it in the truck. My ass is still sore."
<[JAPS]aL3x> I heard [JAPS]KingKhai had sex with his teacher.. only problem was, he was home schooled.
<vergil> you know you have issues when you almost tell your mom to delete something rather than throw it away
<Nrrd> never mind telnet I've been wokring on a communications protocol using smoke from spliffs and bongs <Nrrd> Toke-n Ring networking I'm calling it
--- bobby sets ban on *!*@*.mx <@bobby> lets see the mexicans get over that wall.
<Buck> the MPAA site has an interesting anti piracy blitz going on for Christmas <Buck> they say that they're protecting users from buying pirated copies of films <Buck> then they go on to say that you can recognize pirated films by the fact that they're a lot cheaper, out before or while films are still in theatres, are region free and contain no DRM <Buck> if I wouldn't have pirated before.. the MPAA sure has convinced me to do it now
<Daniel> The new bash quotes suck <Nictheman> You realise if this goes on bash, you'll be part of the new quotes, and will therefore suck? <Daniel> .. <Daniel> Fuck you.
<DW>So, I had to get a colonoscopy today <DW>That's where they stick a camera up your ass and take pictures of your intestines <Relentless>that's just great <DW>Anyway, that part wasn't bad, the bad part was the prep for it <pyr0>which was... <DW>I didn't eat anything yesterday. Starting at 3 PM I had to drink about 2 liters of this shit that would help clear my intestines out. Basically, from 3 PM until about 12 I had SEVERE abdominal cramps. I mean severe. I'm talking about rolling around on the floor punching shit severe <DW>Anyway, during this, I started to get horny for some reason <DW>It was a strange feeling really. Not even being able to stand up because of crippling pains, and yet at the same time, having a raging boner and wanting to jack off <Relentless>this wont end well <DW>Anyway, I had been shitting brown water since 3 (that's what the nasty shit I drank did), and I needed to again. But since I had a huge boner I figured I'll take care of it while I'm in the can. So, I'm standing over the toilet cranking one off, and I'm getting the shits, so I sit down. Just before I'm about to cum, I start feeling like I'm going to puke. Now, I had vomit brewing for awhile. You know that feeling you get when you're going to puke? When you start to feel sick and start salivating a lot? I had been getting that since I went to the bathroom. Anyway it built up enough that I started VIOLENTLY and LOUDLY puking. I'm fucking lucky the sink is right next to the toilet. The force of this caused me to begin shooting shit-water out of my ass with the force of a pressure washer. The spasming of my entire body caused my hand to move around enough that I started cumming. <DW>So after all was said and done, I had a line of fire burning a line from my balls to and up my asscrack, puke in the sink, and cum covering my legs. <DW>Yeah yesterday was not a good day :\ *LONG pause* <pyr0>... <Neo>what the fuck <SSB>..... <CT_Frog>o_o <MMB>You have lived more in that one moment than anyone else in their entire lives
anonymous: It can be "free" if you look in the right places, I think I'll go TO the video stoRe to RENT a movie now.
InnerGoat: My wife has 2 problems. One is the fact that everytime she gets drunk she gets mean. She always looks for a fight, or a way to make me feel like shit me. The other problem is that every morning after she gets drunk she has an explosive watery shit. One night she pushed me to far. She was drunk of course and felling a little frisky so we we messing around and I tried to put it in the butt, she got mad and started talking shit, about how I'm no good and my dick is small, and that she probally wouldn't even feel it. so we never did have sex. After she went to sleep I couldn't get the pain of her saying my dick was small out of my head. I wanted to embarrass her as much as she embarrased me. So I got an Idea I went to my sons room and got his bag of marbles. i then went to my secret stash and got a bottle of lube. I could just image her reactions when you shit marbles the next morning. I lubed them up one at a time and slowly pushed each one in. About a hundered in all. I got so excited I jerked off then giggled my self to sleep. The next morning I woke up so excited I couldn't stand it. I made allot of noise getting dressed so she would wake up. She did and not 3 minutes later she said " oh my stomach. not again" and ran to the bathroom. I was in thee brushing my teeth. Usually she would tell me to leave but the urge was to intense. She sat down and let it rip. She dam near had a heart attack from the noise. The marbles hitting the porcelin sounded like a machine gun going off in the bathroon. She turned white as a sheet and stood up. Still shitting all over the place. Marbles rolling all over the floor as they bounced around. It took her a couple of minutes to put it all together. She said " What the ****" I just laughed and laughed as she packed her shit and left. I really do kind of miss her though.
scruss: a guy called us and complained because his dsl didn't work, come to find out he had win98 and actually took a knife and trimmed the rj45 connection to fit into the rj11 jack