<@andy> every time god masturbates, a kitten kills jesus

<CYwolf> damnit.
<CYwolf> I forgot to ask malis how big the fed-ex guy's
package was.

<malis> Also, minister seems to be the most efficient position
<rizen> minister?
<rizen> do you mean missionary?
<malis> whatever
<rizen> the minister position would be with the young boy on
his knees

* @andy blows his load.
* Khross eats a child.
<@andy> we all react differently to surprise gifts.

<hypo> taking it up the ass only hurts the first few times
<hypo> uh
<hypo> my friend told me that

<rizen> accept cock
<rizen> er
<rizen> accept, cock

<[Latex]> 12 steps for becoming a professional wanker
<TigerSun> [Latex]: 1) Download mIRC

<hash> can anyone point me towards some resources for setting
up ISA NICs?
<wilnixAFK> the handbook?
<wilnixAFK> google?
<halcy0n> trash can, and ebay
<razorini> lol halcy0n
<hash> why did i even bother asking

<AdamH> There are 10 kinds of people when it comes to binary.
Those who understand it, and those who don't.
* AdamH rimshits
<AdamH> RIMSHOTS!
<DL> Heheheheh.
<DL> Sorry, Adam, two of those "heh"s were at the joke. The
rest were at rimshits. :-P

<Teegus> i should prolly go to sleep soon so i can be awake
when my gf gets here. not to mention being at least partially
conscious for the whole getting laid part
<Teegus> but... urge to html... so strong
<@Goonigoogoo> no, women love it when you fall asleep on top
of them
<@Goonigoogoo> or under them, depending on her sexual
positioning preference
<Teegus> its like my inner geek is fighting my hormones
<Teegus> and losing.... quickly

<Acid_Rain> im gettin tired
<Infamous> same here
<Acid_Rain> i need cok
<Acid_Rain> coke!

<kaGirl01> the nest time we have sex.... can it be to the tune
of star trek??
<kaGirl01> ohh ummmm  wrong window, please excuse that
<evilroot> . . . . . . . .

(Stunty): heh my gf gave me head yesterday while i was on irc
typing
(dvast8): fun
(Stunty): she didnt find it funny when i started laughing at
something i did on irc
(DownKaos): and they say there are only 10 ways you know your
an irc addict

e l i t e m r p: oohhhhhh naked chick on courttv
e l i t e m r p: shes dead but, nice ass

(DownKaos): free phone sex....tight
(DownKaos): what is it
(dvast8): KIS-SASS
(DownKaos): I hate to think what your day job is with a phone
# like that
(dvast8): union rep
(DownKaos): so worse then a gay male prostitute

<Junkz/#Overclockers> .com = community you n00b

<Cyb> where the hell is the new pokey
<Cyb> it hasn't been updated in like a while
<Cyb> sept 17
<Cyb> wait that's today
<Cyb> stupid internet explorer

<Draggy>: i have a life...
<pimp-daddy-squall> : which consists of still trying to hit
puberty

<FooMashoo> i wear my pants backwards
<Bryan> is that so the zipper is easier for your lover?
<FooMashoo> yes

<+k\o\w> I wanna make a font
<+k\o\w> where the letters are made of penises
<Kid_Khaos> and call it Lucida Handjob
<+k\o\w> r0x0r.

<plaktu> ls
<plaktu> oops
<cwd> .
<cwd> ..
<cwd> gaysex/
<cwd> teenpics/
<cwd> kidpics/
<cwd> how_to_steal_children.txt
<cwd> NAMBLA_MEETINGS.doc

<scout> woohoo! the FORTRAN code works!
* gus blinks
<gus> dude, is it 1977 again and nobody told me ?
<heliOx> lol

SilverErek: ever smoke a hash brown dude?
Presuhn316: no
SilverErek: try it
SilverErek: see what it does to ya
Presuhn316: i'll pass
SilverErek: heh weak
SilverErek: i thought we were pals :-(
Presuhn316: not really
SilverErek: why not:-(
SilverErek: are you upset with me
Presuhn316: no, i just think you're a moron

* Jbond64 yawns
* darkcloud stuffs a sock in Jbond's mouth
<waffle> darkcloud: you misspelled cock

<Furvert> Washington's the only state where you can see signs
like:  Tractor Rentals, Engines Rebuilt, Espresso.

<kinzillah> kronos is portable! *hrrrrk* *thump* *clunk* errr,
maybe not
<Pseudonym> kinzillah: It's about 50 lbs
<Pseudonym> The case being about 40 lbs of that
<Gygaxis> wtf is the case?!?!
<kinzillah> 50 lbs != portable
<Pseudonym> Wimp.
<Gygaxis> jesus christ, did you mod a god damn cinder block?

<WakkyMouse> Why the hell is TBS in black and white here?
<Taperlass> Karmic retribution for Ted Turner colorizing "It's
a Wonderful Life."

<J.Rai> Mr Pibb. - He's like Dr. Pepper without the degree.

<Itharr> I'm like 5'8" and 128 pounds
<Itharr> I have the top half of an asian and the bottom half
of a black man if you know what I'm saying
<Balnaba> So your top half works on a computer all day while
the bottom half does nothing?

<qrg> Ajchez: i think they call those girls bbw
<Ajchez> bbw????
<qrg> big beautiful women
<Ajchez> i have a weight limit
<krezt> whats your limit?
<krezt> i can do anything i can lift
<krezt> if they put out my back they aint getting no kak

<phantom> damn.
<phantom> All these people and no discussion going on?
<drwiii> oh, we're talking, it's just encoded with
rot-infinity.
<drwiii> once the encoder hits infinity all the traffic will
come spilling through.
<phantom> uh.., either you're bullshitting me, or I've just
lost all interest. Maybe both.

@(ZeuS) my g/f was like "I can be your porn"... I was like
"but can I use the zoom feature?"

<Video`> Can -anyone- be that stupid?
* Robbie-Al raises hand

<Devo-> The Buddhist hamburger joint: they'l make you one with
everything.

<Pookachu> afghanistan threatens to retaliate
<Pookachu> they're gonna ride their camels into pakistan

<ev-> Here's a cute item from Japan that's a lot of fun --
instead of making boring ice cubes that you don't think
anything about, this will enable you to make fun heart-shaped
ice cubes. Works in any standard freezer, just fill with water
and freeze.
<ev-> works in any standard freezer
<ev-> thank god for that!

<Clutch1> Some fucker is using my name!
<Zaratustra> Clutch is
samuraislo@sc-24-24-233-120.socal.rr.com * Michael Pierce
<Clutch1> Hmmm... I am that fucker.
<Zaratustra> Indeed.

<Anim0> my gf would be perfect if she had breasts

<chikster> orion thinks im mad fine
<chikster> WOOHOO
* chikster dances around room
<orion> you need more pics
<chikster> never knew that
<orion> and i need to shave
<orion> i look like i'm 30
<chikster> i will have more when i get my camera
<maff> dont shave dude
<maff> grow an inverse fro
<chikster> lol
<arse-poet> haha
<jestuh> yeah chik i think you're pretty hot too in an
don't-arrest-me way

<R4V3N0U5 1> i bet in like 1000 yrs everyone is gonna have a
comp in their room
<R4V3N0U5 1> the great great great grand children of irc
<R4V3N0U5 1> who dont even need to eat or shit, just be on the
comp all day
<R4V3N0U5 1> and because everyone would be on their comp all
day
<R4V3N0U5 1> no tech support or admin, everyone fend for
themselves
<R4V3N0U5 1> thats where theyd form clans...people would hack
other peoples networks...hacker pvp, where you loose, you're
life is gone
<daenonok> stop it! AHHHHH!!! STOP IT!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
*daenonok stabs his own eyes out with a nearby ballpoint to
avoid going mad

<daenonok> eclipse should put 'car does NOT come with 30+ year
old white woman with no jive who thinks she can rip off the
robot to lame techno' on the bottom, under their logo but
above the fine print

<gh5046> The day a boy becomes a man is the day he realizes
even pretty girls go poop.
<felix> haha
<felix> the day he becomes a dirty man is the day he realizes
poop is sexy
* felix shudders

<Holden> "The file or directory C:WINDOWSsystem32 is corrupt
and unreadable.  Please run the Chkdsk utility."
<Holden> Uh-oh
<Holden> That can't be good.
<Holden> I guess Windows built in random system reformater is
telling me I need to do it again.
*** Holden (~Joe@24.43.60.121) Quit (Read error: Connection
reset by peer)

<Sink> heh damn, i think i'm rethinking that shell
<Sink> i think their box just went down
<Sink> lol i was almost done filling everything out too
<Aristotles> wooohooo.. nice... so they're like:
<Aristotles> "DAMNIT! We lost a sale! REDIAL! REDIAL!"

* ph33r wears his butt-protector...
<Aristotles> thats a weird way to say "condom"
<nix> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

<Derian> This is going to be an interesting mix of PHP and
jabascript......
<Derian> javascript
<Derian> only a little jabascript.....
<Ngaru> haha
<Ngaru> that's like, fat alien script.
<Derian> haha yah

<Conny> Hello
<Conny> Someone who feel like talkin' ?
<Aristotles> Conny: male or female?
<Conny> i`m male
* Aristotles 's interest fades fast

<hitman666> I just use norton. love that proggy... systemworks
<eqnix> wastes too much resources for stuff i can do by hand
<Aristotles> isnt that your philosophy on dating?

<R-5> anyone have a better word for mentor?
<Aristotles> childmolester?

<BiBOp> heya
<BiBOp> little question
<BiBOp> what services are best for unreal ?
<Aristotles> funeral services