<shrug> Women burn an average of 27 calories during an orgasm
<shrug> Faking an orgasm burns 160 calories
<shrug> I've been helping women loose weight

<PSlagle-Tech> you should have seen me explaining the concept
of drivers to my mother when I was setting up their
computer... I explained it like this...
* JamesR-Tech covers his eyes
<JP_Tech> this could be interesting
<PSlagle-Tech> "Imagine you woke up one morning with a third
arm... you wouldn't know how to control it, right? So you get
a book and read how to control it, and then you can use it."
* JamesR-Tech copies and pastes to bash.org
<PSlagle-Tech> trhe arm is the modem, and the book is the
driver.
<JP_Tech> lol
<PSlagle-Tech> hey... she understood after that. :)

<Bookworm> Jeremiah, I don't tell you what to do, now quit
telling people that.

* Mage_ scoots away from Dykstra
* Dykstra plays with his pokeballs
* Mage_ scoots further
<SteveD> uh huh
* Dykstra squirtles SteveD
<SteveD> eegad!

<NinjaDebugger> Too... many... fetch... quests!
* Zrith parsed that as "fetish."
<Mandoric> "My black leather panties fell down the well! I'll
give you the Dildo of Erdrick if you retrieve them!"

<Amish|wuurk> there is no death for me
<Amish|wuurk> just a ping timeout

<DRBS> this is so ghey what happened
<MoDoDynam> I know Bradford, I know.
<DRBS> matts an ayesshole
<MoDoDynam> Well sometimes in a friendship the parties
involved have to tear apart and develop a scar tissue in order
to strengthen the bond that they never had before. Maybe
that's our purpose in life: fighting to eventually gain
fulfillment with others.
<DRBS> ...
<DRBS> hold on i have to take a nasty shit.

* phucknut == drunk
<phucknut> wh00000
<ian_> phucknut, I replaced your beer with bottles of my piss.
<phucknut> yum
<phucknut> i'm gonna go back to the bar and drink some more
<phucknut> wh000
<phucknut> lata chump
<phucknut> ssss
<cwd> haha
<cwd> phucknut turns into a dalnet user when he's drunk

<Shiningun> the day peoples faces start looking like ^_^ in
real life is tha day i buy a flamethrower

! Admiral_Justin is an equal opportunity asshole
( Admiral_Justin ) ummm
( Admiral_Justin ) that sounded soooo wrong

<DouXXX> tecmo bowel was da shit
<DouXXX> oppps bowl
<Diablos> tecmo bowel
<Diablos> hahaha
<DouXXX> LMFAO!
<Diablos> it certainly WOULD BE the SHIT
<DouXXX> totally shitty!

<AZReDWiNG> i just found out my dad is a giant warez freak
<AZReDWiNG> and he tells me not to download stuff at home
<AZReDWiNG> hes against kazaa and all that crap, hes in some
sort of "anti-hacker/warez federation"
<AZReDWiNG> im like "dad... this copy of xp is illegal"
<AZReDWiNG> "yeah, i know son"
<AZReDWiNG> "this copy of xp is on 500 computers at my work"
<AZReDWiNG> "WTF I THOUGHT UR ANTI-WAREZ"
<AZReDWiNG> "screw microsoft"

<Sart> blizzard is annoucing their new game in an hour or so
<Dark-e> oh let me go to the bathroom now so i dont pee on
myself in an hour
<Sart> blizzard's web page has a new entrance pic now
<Dark-e> omg
<Dark-e> shit
<Dark-e> didnt goto the bathroom

<SecrtAgnt> manual labor isn't my gig
<SecrtAgnt> i work with my mind...not my hands.
<SecrtAgnt> other then masturbation...but my mind is hard at
work too

<dj_goddess> Hey Nyph, how'd the exams go?
<Nyphur> What exams?....
<Nyphur> Oh, THOSE exams. ;)
<Nyphur> FUCK... Those exams....

<signine> i walk into work wearing a hawaiian shirt, with pink
hair, wearing paint-covered shoes, a server is down, stuff is
happening that sucks and is causing massive fallout and my job
is probably in danger
<signine> and what do i get from my coworkers?
<signine> "nice shirt, where'd you get it?"

<@Brains-Lans> women suck, thats why i love cat5, slender,
sexy, doesnt annoy me.

<D3KK0N> if a woman broke in you had a little thing with and
left you some panties and a card....you wouldnt be happy?
<bluewolf> er for a start i'm female

<AkumaUsagi> I want to be able to trust people more.  That
means I have to be able to throw them further.

<deadkode> rent-a-center is funny as hell
<deadkode> you pay like 4x whatever it's worth
<deadkode> who the fuck rents a couch
> http://www.rentacenter.com/index.asp
<RageFury> Who the fuck puts pics of missing kids on their
website?
<deadkode> free till payday
<RageFury> "Yes, I saw her...She was here for dinner...she was
great...the rest is in the fridge under the watermelon and the
hot sauce".

<deadkode> you pay like 4x whatever it's worth
<deadkode> who the fuck rents a couch
<RageFury> http://www.rentacenter.com/index.asp
<RageFury> Who the fuck puts pics of missing kids on their
website?
<RageFury> "Yes, I saw her...She was here for dinner...she was
great...the rest is in the fridge under the watermelon and the
hot sauce".

<delta> *.na is only 2.500 $USD
<goat> WTF
<goat> they charge 2500 for a fuckin namibia tld?
<goat> no wonder they're all starving

* Carson_Marl continues to sing loudly as he showers, "Yoda!
Yo, Yo, Yo, Yo, Yooooodaaaaaaaa!"
* Carson_Marl continues to shower and sing, "Music and
blasters and old Jedi Masters at the..."

*** Armagon has quit IRC (Quit: [07:45pm] ·Dide_Bot· I last
saw Bel's ass, I think it got sold on ebay 2 weeks 2 days 3
hours 37 minutes 55 seconds ago.)

-!- Maxx-Gothic
[Maxx_Gothi@ubju.lekc.rikn.uoap.this.chat.server] has quit
[(signed off)]
<@PrincessLeia2> i keep thinking that guy's nick is
Mexx-Gothic
<@PrincessLeia2> you can imagine what type of images that
produces o_O

* Carson_Marl looks at the remnants of the lightsaber on the
floor.
<Kalista_Frenta> "I wish those damn nuthouse doctors would
hurry up and show. I'm ready to get out of her."
<Kalista_Frenta> ((heheheheh. her = here))
<Carson_Marl> ((Yeah, SURE it does!))

<Duloth> BRB, the dorm is on fire.

<Khrath> brael fucks himself in the ass cause he's thinks it
would make him gay to let his boyfriend
<Brael> so true

<Jerec> I bent my glasses =/
<Reykemias> lol
<Jerec> I need new ones anyways
<Lady_Sharlintier> you are supposed to take them off during
sex Jerec
<Jerec> What is the fun in that! then I can't see you !
<Lady_Sharlintier> what you can't see you can always feel...
besides if you are seeing or feeling me it must be in your
dreams cuz you are a lil far away for anything else
<Jerec> hehe
<Jerec> :P
<Lady_Sharlintier> hey only show me your tongue if you intend
to use it
* Jerec takes Lady_Sharlintier into a private room
<Lady_Sharlintier> LOL
* Lady_Sharlintier stuffs Jerec back into his pod... not done
yet
* Jerec sulks inside his pod
<Lady_Sharlintier> I think you need to hibernate for awhile
longer :)
<Jerec> why so?
<Lady_Sharlintier> Age a few more years :)
<Duloth> Note: While hibernating, you will age more slowly
than her.
<Lady_Sharlintier> yeah and when he comes out I will be on
geritol
<Jerec> how about i put you  In the pod?:)
<Lady_Sharlintier> I'm strange enough without being a pod
person :)
<Jerec> aww come on :D

<Jackknife> hey you eat jesus christ Every Communion
<Jackknife> talk about Demonic Sacrifice.
<Duloth> Hmmm?
<Duloth> Only the Catholics are cannibals, Jack.
* Jerec is expanding his worldly knowledge of Cooking
<Jackknife> dave is catholic, duloth

<Dalener> "Indentured Servant" is just a nice way of saying
"Bitch ass slave"
<Porco-Russo> "Landscapers anyone?"
<Dalener> Did you know the Alabamaian with the most slaves was
a black man who OWNED his mother?

<Dalener> My common thread would be a needle and some string.
<Lady_Sharlintier> damn this dog is skin hanging on a frame
<Porco-Russo> my common thread would be a Single white rose!
muahahaha
<Porco-Russo> well.. with steel stems
<Porco-Russo> Jammed thorugh thier heads
<Duloth> Why steel stems?
<Duloth> WHy not just a dozen white roses stabbed through the
right eye socket of each victim?
<Porco-Russo> rose stems aren't strong enough
<Lady_Sharlintier> See I knew there were things I liked about
you Jack J/K
<Dalener> Why not a John Tesh cd?

<Joel> i like legos but the red ones give me heart burn...

<nihil> I doubt my getting fired from the Dairy Queen is a
bellwether of recession, but it sure is a bellwether of I
stuck my wang in the butterscotch.

<Trak3r> hmm, qdb has new rules
<Trak3r> SUBMISSION RULES:
<Trak3r> 3) PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE QUOTE YOU ARE SUBMITTING,
IS IT FUNNY? PLEASE DO NOT SUBMIT QUOTES WITHOUT ANY MEANING
OR HUMOR
<Trak3r> that third one pretty much eliminates their database
thus far

<JustAGirl> did i miss something here?
<KArmA-> were you sleeping?
<KArmA-> is your ass sore?
<JustAGirl> no on both counts
ð LabMonkey hides the vacuum hose
<KArmA-> then no

<El_Duderino> Baby loves me, yes yes she does.
<El_Duderino> HUH!
<DevonCase> Fuck you.
<El_Duderino> ...
<El_Duderino> Accept Neil Diamond into your life.
<Al_Koholic> Dear God!
<El_Duderino> No, Neil Diamond.
<El_Duderino> God cannot come through in the clutch and cure
my illness.
<Al_Koholic> Is your illness by any chance being straight and
he's curing it by making you gay?

<stupidMM> A District council must have designed woman.
<stupidMM> Only a they would put a playground next to a sewage
plant

<BlinkingBear> 'manipulating' is a catholic term for
masturbation
<flawd_> !dict manipulation
<MarvinAndroid> - 2: the action of touching with the hands or
the skillful use of

<Emmy> When I was in Helsinki, I couldn't stay at the house of
a friend, because they had - well, crawly things, too
<Azif> babies?

<NeonMorning> I'm so bored I've resorted to entering a general
teen chat channel.
<NeonMorning> [02:22:48] <viju> hi girls i am a young male boy
who loves to have a peep under the dresses of girls like you 
or ladies or even housewives. i want to go under the skirts
dresses or sarees of all u young n beautiful ladies. i just
like  to play there and lick all that is avilable down under.
Will u allow me under?  i Know u want me under   ;)
<NeonMorning> English isn't his thing, apparrently.
<Urban_Hermit> he seems to be facinated with Australia...
<NeonMorning> He loves "all that is available in the down
under."
<Urban_Hermit> kangaroos... wombats... koalas....

<NeonMorning> I'm scared I'm going to say something random and
sound really stupid.
<Urban_Hermit> be like me - always say something stupid and it
never appears random

<Azif> Somehow, getting lucky with google isn't as satisfying
as it sounds...

<Azif> I want a computer that i can plug into the back of my
neck. That way I can have both hands free when I'm looking at 
internet porn

<latyrx> a christian friend called me tonight, but im ok now

<xhg> we're not allowed to have dogs in our condo. But judging
from some of the women present at the condo meeting, I'm not 
sure that bylaw is obeyed.

defiant_wench: I smoked pot for a month one night

* Finn apologises for her rabbit like activity
<Finn> that could be read a few ways..I mean jumping about

<Digby> what if the man empirically measure them ? ;)
<Digby> length, girth, tensile strength, and volume ;)
<_Matty> volume?? "hey, baby, i've got a loud cock" ??
<_Matty> wtf?
<Tig`One> "hey babe wanna hear my cock shout?"
<^Dozy^> that'd be an impressive chat up line
<Guede> Brings new meaning to pump up the volume.

<_Nor> I can spell, I just choose not to