<Biff> News of the World is reporting that Angelina Jolie is planning to adopt for the fourth time, just weeks after she adopted a 5-year old boy from Vietnam. She has also adopted Maddox from Cambodia and Zahara from Ethiopia and she of course has Shiloh, her natural daughter with her boyfriend Brad Pitt. Now Jolie wants to adopt a girl from Chad to "balance the family." <Biff> she's collecting kids from other countries as if they were pokemon
<denshuu> I just spent the better part of four fuck hours trying to get on IRC from campus <denshuu> just to talk to you artards <Desu|Away> rawsome <whereisJ> What would you do without us? <denshuu> graduate
<SyntaxError> So how do you guys think Bush is doing <Pacster> Don't get me started ... <Merrick178> I'm sick of people hating Bush <Pacster> Omg -.- <Merrick178> He's doing pretty good for a retarded person
<BillyBob> napolean was 5 feet 7 <BillyBob> that i did not know <NobleArc> Napoleon <NobleArc> It's just francais. Spelling en francais isn't that hard. <BillyBob> good to know you can catch typos in multiple languages <BillyBob> almost as helpful as the microsoft office paperclip
<CimmAway> Spam subject of the day: "Proven Safe! Give Your Little Brother 3-Inches Longer With This High Demaning Herbal Pill tlet" <CimmAway> Something just sounds wrong there... <CimmAway> Giving 3 inches more to your brother... <Reddman> he's getting better at taking it
[ %Nakedkira ] HERE'S A REAL CATGIRL [ %Nakedkira ] :D)333-< ( +DB ) o.o ( +Renoki ) 3 sets... of boobs? [ %Nakedkira ] meow, bitch
<Fuzion> research has shown that men are less likely to attempt suicide, but more likely to succeed. <Kadaj> it's because they tend to use guns, while women use things like sleeping pills. <Fuzion> that just pisses me off. <Fuzion> the last thing you are ever going to do... would it kill you to do it right?! <Fuzion> ... <Fuzion> wait
Maybe_Factor: C++ doesn't have a compiler, it has a complainer.
<muse06> you ever think god gets stoned? <humphrey> have you ever seen a platypus?
Archpo: Ok, I m stealing that. Drmn: haha *** Auto-response from Archpo: rm * /dev/bladder; cat /dev/ fridge | grep food Drmn: trouble with that is remembering to treat /dev/fridge as a FIFO and not a block device Drmn: *contemplates 3 day old pizza vs. 2 day old indian food*
<nyetwerk> why is it that they always make the stupidest person on a project team be the leader? <DocRadium> what are you in charge of now?
<mav> I've always wanted to change my legal name to ;DROP DATABASE; and see what kind of havoc ensues...
<D4> Want to hear my idea for a Star Wars porno? <Jolyon> Only if Han shoots first
DeathDread26: Ever consider lifting a lawnmower up and using it like a weapon against a horde of people? NiNj4 4Ss4SsiN: no DeathDread26: oh DeathDread26: so... i am the only one? NiNj4 4Ss4SsiN: lol i guess DeathDread26: damn. know any good psychologists?
<Stevie_Kilroy> a little s&m never hurt anyone <Bungalow Bill> dude <Bungalow Bill> Yes it did.
<Mikachu> haha, i misread a japanese word i wanted to look up <Mikachu> it was kansha, meaning "thanks, gratitude" <Mikachu> but i wrote in gansha in the dictionary program <Mikachu> "ejaculation onto partner's face" <Mikachu> that is a mispronunciation i will be careful to avoid
<pecosdave> Yeah, Snakes on a Plane not a movie you can enjoy alone. <pecosdave> You can admit to watching the movie with a group, but watching it alone shows signs of having issues. <jpaganel> LOL <pecosdave> It's like Rocky Horror. Watching it alone of the privacy of your own home makes you weird. <pecosdave> Cross dressing and watching it with a crowd on the other hand is perfect acceptable.
<ricebowl> lingerie is one of the few items where you expect to pay more for less
<Etir> I want to see Clinton versus Rice in 2008 just to see if a 3rd party candidate can win on the "I'm Male" platform
<sigafoo> your girlfriend is so slutty she gets pass 'by reference' <HdxEvil> &owned
<irzyxel> RANDY ! <irzyxel> long time no see ! <irzyxel> hows the kids <Randy`> still in my testicles, thankfully
Hooka: I'm going to pee on you Ralphy_Fox: that'd be hot lemonlimeskull: Only for a while, then it'd cool off.
<StrangelyUnoriginal>So I was at Walmart, being the financial transaction overlord of register 21. Rite, and this kid walks up, I ring up his items and he says, "So I heard you like mudkips?" so I acted all confused like he expected me to andhe had a little faggoty giggle then he asked me what his total was and I said, "Your total, IT'S OVER NINE THOUSSSSSSAAAAND!" and my manager was like, "lol wtf?" then I grabbed the pricing scanner and crushed it in my hand.
<&Dynamic_Inc> ive decided to play a huge prctical joke on my friends <&Dynamic_Inc> ima slip 2 of them the date rape drug when they are REALLY drunk <&Dynamic_Inc> then with the help of my other friends, strip them naked, and put them in bed together, spooning <&Dynamic_Inc> beat one of them on the ass, so when they wake up its sore <&Dynamic_Inc> and smear some blood and poop on the sheets <&Dynamic_Inc> there gunna wake up and be like "O.O fuck." <&Dynamic_Inc> one of them will turn gay because of it <&Dynamic_Inc> and they will both act wiered for years <&Dynamic_Inc> then like 5 years down the road <&Dynamic_Inc> ill tell them the truth <&Dynamic_Inc> and then run like fuck <&Dynamic_Inc> its gunna be great <%Airegorne> can i help?
Jmack- i was dreaming of eating a marshmallow B-dawg- and what happened? Jmack- when i woke up b-dawg- then what Jmack- my pillow was gone...... b-dawg- ........wtf......
<jo> apparently, according to Josh, the Swiss-French border is at risk of being sucked in by a black hole <jo> they're experimenting with time/space stuff there <Lewin> haha <Lewin> try staying out of that one, switzerland
* Nanobot primarily uses a pi-based counting system <Nanobot> I know all of the digits in pi <Nanobot> It's 10
<nista> i was explaining to a claimant why a defendant was being sued <nista> i told him that the defendant violated a federal statute <nista> he said "VIOLATED A FEDERAL STATUE?!? WHICH ONE, THE LINCOLN MEMORIAL?!?"
<zak> I once almost kissed a girl but then she woke up.. then i woke up
<scott> Where were your born? <scott> homoland? <scott> Thats not even possible.
Lord Kagemaro: Want a PS3? IDLon2000: No Lord Kagemaro: :/ Lord Kagemaro: I'm bored with mine
<@Sadist> http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/ef/ Age_of_Consent.png <@Sadist> data for age of consent all around the world. <Dano> Is that in your bookmarks? <@Sadist> its my home page
bendingoutward: last night was so hardcore that i moshed with a guy in a wheelchair.
<Foamy> im a little teapot <Foamy> short and stout <Foamy> here is my handle * Trueborn has kicked Foamy from #totse (get the fuck out)
<ralph> perl is the lossy compression for programming languages
<Dack Falu> WTF, there are Bomberman fanfics <Dack Falu> Did that shit have a storyline? <Stultus> Someone's probably written a fanfic for Tetris <Saturn V> THE L BLOCK TAKES ME BY THE HAND AND PLUGNES ITSELF NEATLY INTO ME, FORMING A LINE <Saturn V> I MOAN BUT THEN PART OF ME VANISHES <Saturn V> FOREVER.
<Kkooly> rumick whyd you download the same episode 3 times <jkpolk> He probably has a triple monitor setup
<Drakkel> is it sad that I'm looking through national sex offender databases of areas where I live? <Lai> I would have tried the personals first, really.
<Hitman2005> I got a new Car stereo the other day, it comes equipped with'VOICE RECOGNITION!'. <Hitman2005> So if i shout "Rock", it searches, and play rock music, If i shout 'SOUL' it searches for soul music, same with country music etc,etc. <Hitman2005> Only problem is, i had some children run out in front of my car the other day, <Hitman2005> I shouted "FUCKING KIDS", Then Michael Jacksons 'THRILLER' came on :S
<+Tigrael> you're a bash mod now? <%kastein> yup. <%spock1104> kastein: tell them to stop rejecting quotes that rock and accepting quotes that suck <%kastein> spock1104: hey <%kastein> them includes me now * %kastein goes back to being a nazi mod <%kastein> MUST THROW MORE QUOTES IN THE OVEN
<@blaxthos> one token to unite them <@kastein> murdrface: and in a ring bind them
<slashdotuser> I still think the only real way to communicate with outlying civilisations properly will be with supernovas. <slashdotuser> Though, only one message could be send - "Help our sun is blowing u^&"%£%^&!*(())[NO CARRIER]
<kidd79> do u know what i'd like they add to Google.Earth? <Don_Vito> ..3D graphics? <Don_Vito> animated water, trees and stuuf?? <kidd79> orbital ion cannon
<Chainsaw> If you want to run SELinux, you need to start installing an SELinux system. You can't just enable that USE-flag and expect things to work. * ML-37 grins <Chainsaw> That's like taking 14 wheels off of your 18-wheeler and saying "this is now a car, off we go".
<Chains> fuck that AM/PM shit, i'm european, i can have 13:37 every day!
rintin: so I fried my dads motherboard today rintin: apparently I wasn't grounded... rintin: now I am
caithness: Nike Brand Condoms caithness: "Just Do It"
Kris: Happy Pi Day! Dean: I don't celebrate pi day, but rather pi approximation day on july 22nd or 7/22
<crabcakedeathra> where were you earlier? <arkilla> work. <crabcakedeathra> where you work? <arkilla> GTE Visa. mail room clerk. <arkilla> had some trouble with this asshole sendin in coupons <arkilla> today he also sent in 33 motherfuggin' pennies <arkilla> my managr called to complain, after like an hour WE cut HIM a check for 33 cents <crabcakedeathra> that sounds damn familiar
<aioli> i hope whoever invented the mysterious force gets his or her penis caught in a gear <raxvulpine> Your attempt to be gender-neutral there only sort of worked.