<Ralf> programmers and old people have a lot in common.
<Ralf> we're both always looking for ways to control leaks.
<Ralf> and dumps.

<tigrow> if u think its getting to hot masterman
<tigrow> put water on it
<tigrow> use icewater
<tigrow> they need that the first 2 hours or so
<Crimpy> dont forget to jam knives into the back while you do
it
<Sacred_> you guys are mean
<Sacred_> yer gonna fuck his box up
<Sacred_> use olive oil

The Fishchaser: we should tell the japaneese we found a planet
full of giant tentacle monsters and their females are somehow
little school girls
The Fishchaser: we'll be going faster than the speed of light
in a week

epilnivek: I don't know what time i'll be there... i've got a
date with ashley and her Wii
epilnivek: that sounds horrible
parabolo: yes it does
epilnivek: but I really do mean the nintendo

SpleeGuy: i'm bored
SuperSu:  ok let me do something
SpleeGuy: ok
SuperSu signed off

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<hoppers99_> bugger for them
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walshy117: im afraid of the internet pr0n
walshy117: its like
walshy117: i was playing around the stove
walshy117: and i got burned
walshy117: now i dont fucking go in the kitchen anymore
walshy117: not saying i was literally beating off in the
kitchen of course

<MrKurtz> I intend to get tattooed and/or pierced again in
costa rica
<MrKurtz> in keeping with tradition
<JBlitzen\AG> What better to do in the third world then
experiment with needles

<RustyBridge> does the NotePad ever run out
<ArtoSaari> lmao?
<RustyBridge> ?

<SaxxonPike> shit
<SaxxonPike> I turned in a paper today
<SaxxonPike> and just now realized the title said "American
Herpes"
<SaxxonPike> instead of "American Heroes"
<SaxxonPike> fuck

<AlexMax> holy hell
<AlexMax> i just spent 3 hours working on what's essentially
the equivalent of "if then"
<bioXar|K0Li0> AlexMax, i kno i guy who had an exam. the
question was "what is bravery?".
<bioXar|K0Li0> he had 4 hours for that exam
<bioXar|K0Li0> he sat 4 hours without writing anything
<bioXar|K0Li0> and in the last minute he wrote
<bioXar|K0Li0> "THIS IS BRAVERY"
<bioXar|K0Li0> and got an A
<bioXar|K0Li0> :)

<@Longcat> Could a blue screen of death constitute being
defenestrated?
<Edible> Thrown out of Windo-
<Edible> ...
* Edible goes to cry.

<knightmare> sixtho I challenge you to IRC DDR!
<sixtho> ummm ok
<knightmare> + ddrbot start 10
<DDRBot> Game Started!
<DDRBot> <
<knightmare> <
<sixtho> <
<DDRBot> ^^
<knightmare> ^^
<sixtho> ^^
<DDRBot> vvv
<knightmare> vvv
<sixtho> wtf
<DDRBot> knightmare wins!
<knightmare> ?
<sixtho> where the shit is the down arrow
<knightmare> ...

<melol2> wapityyy, so you are giving up computers, for a girl
you hardly know, even when you dont know she has a problem
with it?
<wapityyy> yeah
<wapityyy> thats totally me
<wapityyy> follow your instinct
<melol2> hmm. Sounds good :)
<r3v> if i followed my instinct
<r3v> there would be streets littered with dead babies
<r3v> and the word virgin would not exist
<wapityyy> what the FUCK

<+knife> i produce enough semen in one day to feed half of
africa
<+msBob> no wonder they all have aids

<mithro> anyone know how to get find to remove all files which
are older then 7 days?
<cherez> crap
<cherez> I tried to google to help that
<cherez> thinking to search a man page
<cherez> "find older man"
<cherez> it was bad :(
<cherez> real bad...

<Chrysalid^Revenge> LOL! Worst mom evar!
<Sectoid^Authopsy> Coming from you, I'm tempted to ask if you
got laid again... ^_^
<Chrysalid^Revenge> I'll smack your ass later for that, but
anyways
<Chrysalid^Revenge> I was hanging out with a friend today, and
he had BB-gun with a cracked barrel.
<Chrysalid^Revenge> So he decides to fix it with epoxy,
getting it functional before the seaguls arrive
<Chrysalid^Revenge> And in a futile attempt to get the glue to
harden faster, he puts the damn gun in his mouth and starts
blowing down the barrel.
<Sectoid^Authopsy> I'm starting to sense where this is
going...
<Chrysalid^Revenge> Now his mother walks in with some laundry,
takes a look at her son with a damn good replica of a 9mm
Beretta stuck in his mouth
<Chrysalid^Revenge> And her only words were "Try not to make a
mess, and don't get anything stuck in your throat."
<Chrysalid^Revenge> What a lovely relationship those two must
have...

<THC|Rawk> I've literally got a -blind- date tonight.
<THC|Stone> ORLY? o_O
<THC|Rawk> It suits me fine for two reasons. First of all,
I'll get to see if this "wonderful personality" crap I keep
getting from girls actually is true.
<THC|Rawk> And if not, she'll never see what I slip into her
drink.

<G-Nat> i love the graffiti in the physics toilets at uni
<G-Nat> a physics student wrote "Arts Degree Dispenser" on the
toilet paper dispenser

<lanken> suppose I have a file tree, and I want to move all
the leaves to the root of the tree
<infernal_jesus> lanken: shake tree -h

Zedian: D&D Monopoly
Pregga Zexas: "I land at Wallstreet Avenue and roll a critical
hit so all of the orcs in your hotels die."

<Paragon> man i remember in like second grade the teaxcher
asked what 2-3 was
<Paragon> and someone was like "you can't do that"
<Paragon> and she was all "right you can't
<Paragon> and i was like "nooo, NEGATIVE NUMBERS"
<Paragon> and she ignored me
<Paragon> bitch

* dal3 has joined #math
<dal3> anyone good with math? could you tell me what
10+10-10+10+10-10-10-10+10+10-10+10-10-10+10-10-10-10+10+10+10+10-10+10
is?
<zepelin-> 17
<dal3> really?
<zepelin-> yeah
<dal3> thanx
* dal3 has left #math

< Sousaphone> Hey, if I'm dead, yet still here, that makes me
a sysadmin zombie!
< Sousaphone> And I'm doing power cable documentation and
labeling today :-D
< daven> fun
< Sousaphone> Maaaaaaaaaiiiiiinnsss

<Flac> Ahh, IRC, Kind of like downloading porn on limewire,
When you open it up, your never quite sure what your going to
see, but odds are good that it will scar you for life.

<Batou> QUIT FUCKING MIDGETS
<Malf> i cant
<Malf> they're so hot
<Malf> they are tight like kids but legal

srjames: my girlfriend called asked me to come over, i told
her i was setting up freebsd
srjames: she thought i was doing drugs

Kraigen: Since the creation of the Internet, the Earth's
rotation has been fueled, primarily, by the collective
spinning of English teachers in their graves.

<mayb> procrastination is like masturbation
<mayb> it's fun until you realize you just fucked yourself

justsara: so, i started a new job today
justsara: one of my co-workers, feels like i've known him for
years
a2so4: Where are you working now?
justsara: CSO
* sillyme has joined #random
sillyme: I had the strangest day at work.
sillyme: The new girl started today.
sillyme: Seems nice enough, but looks like a fucked-out whore.
a2so4: You work for CSO, right?
sillyme: Yeah, why?
justsara: that was me, asshole

<slifty> Your mom is so fat she sat on a binary tree and
turned it into a linked list in constant time!

<Chipper> Hexidecimal counting systems are awesome!
<Chipper> On a scale from 1 to 10, I give them an E

<Nomenumbra> 1 bottle of beer on the wall, 1 bottle of beer,
you take 1 down, pass it around, 0 bottles of beer on the
wall.
<Nomenumbra> 0 bottles of beer on the wall, 0 bottles of beer,
you take 1 down, pass it around, 4294967295 bottles of beer on
the wall.

<@LukeB> I haven't even bothered downloading Second Life
<@LukeB> I figure I should get a first one before starting a
second

<Delvan> Regex is latin for "saw off thine limbs"

<+Rafe> you wanna' know how geeky my school is
<+Rafe> rather geeky, but not quite geeky enough
<+Rafe> we rate our girls in binary
<+Rafe> one bit though.
<+Byan> Rafe: O_o
<+Choco_Reisen> how many are actually 0? :o
<+Rafe> most of them
<@beyonder> 0 = i'd hit it, 1 = i'd hit it hard

<Mike> We should have internet rings like Captain Planet.
<skauert> TCP, UDP, FTP, SSH, HTTP
<skauert> By your protocols combined
<skauert> I'm captain internet

<Zakk> Lash you are crossing a train track and you find a
naked woman tied to it and a train is comeing. Is this
awesome?
<Lash2828> Of course
<Lash2828> Stupid question
<Zakk> even though shes going to get killed by the train
<Lash2828> How long untill the train hits?
<Zakk> like
<Zakk> 1 minute
<Lash2828> Thats enough for me.

<aon> i wonder if visual basic runs on wine
<number-g> pervert.

<throdgrain> i just shot a bloody rat in my garden
<throdgrain> in broad daylight ffs!
<throdgrain> it was like
<throdgrain> boom headshot
<throdgrain> i was a dirty awping camper out the bathroom
window

<Elle> There are two PhDs playing Lego Star Wars II in my
living room, and neither of them can figure out how to get
past the first level

<[Faer|eggs]> oh yeah, Easter
<[Faer|eggs]> which means I will have baskets of chocolate to
go with my bucket of candy and can of DIET soda
<LoneSamurai> hahaha
<Tremens> well
<Tremens> you have to watch to make sure you dont get fat
<Tremens> hence the diet soda
<[Faer|eggs]> This reminds me of a related, true, and funny
story
<LoneSamurai> uh oh, everyone run, here comes a Faer story
<Akuma> be less bitter lone
<Akuma> faer stories are really good
<LoneSamurai> hahaha
<LoneSamurai> if your 13
<[Faer|eggs]> When I worked at BK there was this woman who
would regularly come to my DRIVE-THRU window and order a
Whopper, an Angus Steak Burger, Double Bacon Cheeseburger
value meal, large Chocolate shake, large onion rings, lots of
sauce, and a DIET coke
<[Faer|eggs]> Each and every time, when I would hand her the
order, she'd make a fuss "Are you sure this is DIET?"
<[Faer|eggs]> So after about a month of this I finally got fed
up with the whole thing
<[Faer|eggs]> And when she came for her daily visit, and threw
the daily fuss, I said:
<Tremens> (this is where faer gers fired)
<[Faer|eggs]> "No ma'am, I'm terribly sorry, we're out of DIET
coke today. Instead I filled your cup with water, some bacon
grease, and a bit of leftover breakfast gunk from the cinnamon
rolls. I know it sounds strange now, but trust me, when you
drink it, it'll taste just the same as the DIET coke does
after you inhale all that fat and grease you order from me
every day."
<[Faer|eggs]> So she asked if she could see my manager
<Akuma> ROFL
<[Faer|eggs]> Of course, I smiled, and walked away to get my
manager
<[Faer|eggs]> Manager spoke to her a few moments, there were
some harsh hand symbols, and eventually the woman drove off
<[Faer|eggs]> My manager came back to me with the most PISSED
OFF look on her face
<[Faer|eggs]> And said "That woman has been coming here for
the past two years. She's been our most loyal customer at this
shop, and you just drove her away forever."
<[Faer|eggs]> The next day, I got a raise.
<Tremens> haha
<[Faer|eggs]> And that, my friends, is the end of my tale.

<tastycake> anyone know of a voice changer program
<denke> ya
<denke> its called puberty

<Tinkymamma> I think the downfall of my popularity at school
was when I humped my best friend to show some other kids how
tigers mate.

<Hybridfusion> i found out last week that if you see a big
black man who works for BFI (garbage truck / pickup company)
<Hybridfusion> dont ask him if BFI stands for "big fucking
idiot"
<Volte> did he say "why as a matter of fact it does and id
appreciate if you didnt call attention to it thanks"
<Hybridfusion> he threw a metal pipe at me and i ran like a
motherfucker

<Rjx> How to get laid? Uninstall Linux.
<Rjx> case closed

PwNzAgE33: ok so in assembly language we learned that
processes in the cpu get set priority levelsPwNzAgE33: 0-7, 7
being the highest priority
PwNzAgE33: this is the example the book gives
PwNzAgE33: "For example, a computer's payroll program may run
overnight, and at PL0. It has all night to finish - not
terribly urgent. A program that corrects for a nuclear power
plant current surge may run at PL6. We are perfectly happy to
let the payroll wait while the nuclear power correction keeps
us from being blown to bits."
PwNzAgE33: this begs two questions
PwNzAgE33: first
PwNzAgE33: who in the hell is running payroll and a nuclear
power surge correction on the same machine
PwNzAgE33: and second, if nuclear power surge correction gets
PL6, what on God's green earth gets a fucking PL7?

FeNdErBeNdEr04: how does one go about achieving a relationship
with someone who thinks one is confused as m'kay about what
one wants, but one knows she truly isn't confused, it's just
that someone who's very confusing at times.
SkaRules: i can see how one would find you confusing

<Suriko> I HAVE DONE IT
<Suriko> I HAVE BEATEN THE CLAW MACHINE
<Suriko> I HAVE BURNT ITS FIELDS, AND HEARD THE LAMENTATIONS
OF ITS WOMEN
<Suriko> I got a teddy bear and a Shrek donkey <3

<Biff> News of the World is reporting that Angelina Jolie is
planning to adopt for the fourth time, just weeks after she
adopted a 5-year old boy from Vietnam.  She has also adopted
Maddox from Cambodia and Zahara from Ethiopia and she of
course has Shiloh, her natural daughter with her boyfriend
Brad Pitt.  Now Jolie wants to adopt a girl from Chad to
"balance the family."
<Biff> she's collecting kids from other countries as if they
were pokemon