<Poutremos> Win98 / Win98se CD
<Suparmono> i located dad's copy
<Suparmono> so you want me to bring it tomorrow?
<Suparmono> or want me to copy it on to 340 5-1/4" floppy
disks?

* Sotek would also like to know what the fuck anyone is doing
raising six children. >_<
<Ark> Sotek - Obviously not birth control pills.

<Jermsnap> Seen the new projector cell phones? they project
their screen on the ground or a wall with lasers, up to a
20inch "screen"
<danno> that sounds incredibly useless
<Jermsnap> not at all, those screens are tiny, cant really do
shit on em, now thats solved, also I believe it will make
humans LOOK more futuristic.
<danno> oOOOoh...
<danno> it would make a little more sense to see that on a
PDA...
<Jermsnap> PDA phones, same thing soon
<Jermsnap> I dont have a cell phone, but if I could project
stuff on stuff, Id get one :)
<Jermsnap> PDA's are usaeless to a loner like me, dun work, no
friends, what the hell would I put on there?
<danno> then what would you need a damn cellphone for?
<Jermsnap> hmmm... good point
<Jermsnap> :(

<DeathscytheFish> Jessica, i'm not kidding, all the gay people
my mom work with were going apeshit over it
<Kevyn> Why does your mom work with so many gay people?
<DeathscytheFish> Kevyn, she works at a hospital
<Kevyn> Oh. AIDS ward?

<q|x> with an ' on the e
<q|x> well you know
<q|x> like a slanty thing
<Suparmono> slanty?
<Suparmono> we dont want them here thanks
<Suparmono> unless you mean people will crippled legs
<Suparmono> we'll shove them out of the way
<Suparmono> somewhere

<Isengard> the www is BOOOOOORING!
<Isengard> ah.. no.... there's life in the old dog yet!

<Suparmono> its a dilemma, i dont ask girls out. No, there is
only one way to go about this
<tynka> oerr.. and what's that?
<Suparmono> NONCONCENTUAL INTERCOURSE
<Suparmono> except spell consent with an S

<Kyle> So you're going to be responsible for 65 Windows 2000
Desktops *WITHOUT* a Windows 2000 Domain.
<Kyle> Run for the hills, boy.
<Kyle> Run for the fucking hills.

(On September 11th)
<Sigma> shit, there is no way I'm going to a public vigil
tonight
<Sigma> public crying and weeping does nothing for me
<Sigma> but I know someone will rope me into going
<Kevyn> Public vigil? Fuck that, I'm going to the strip club.
<Sigma> Kev: do your patriotic duty
<Sigma> don't let the terrorists win
<waffle> Kevyn: everyone has to remember in their own way,
BRAVO!
<Kevyn> Word.
<Kevyn> I'll build a NEW tower.
<Kevyn> IN MY PANTS!

<Kaz> Let's tell scary stories!
<The_Karma_Police> Ok, I'll start.
<The_Karma_Police> There was this guy, and he was in the
kitchen...OF DOOM!
<The_Karma_Police> And in that kitchen, he baked...THE PIE OF
LOST SOULS!
<The_Karma_Police> And to cool that pie, he put it in...THE
WINDOW TO HELL!
<Kaz> Ok, let's promise ourselves to never tell scary stories
again...ever

<luftmeister> i love the way the chicken nuggets are all the
same shape
<Celestar> so that you need only one instruction manual to
swallow them?

<Kevyn> Man, I'd fuck Mary-Kate so hard that Ashley would get
pregnant.

<DeathscytheFish> I think the reason i'm not good with girls
stems from the fact that the first time I ever called a girl
was also the day that the girl's mom was killed in a car wreck
and i'm trying to pick her up without knowing this and she
proceeds to rip me a new one
<Kevyn> You didn't say "I'll let you call me mommy" to her,
did you?
<Brandon64> Fish, you should have broke the ice with a "Yo
mama is so fat..." joke
<Amber> Yo mama is so dead...
<Kevyn> "My mom died" "Haha yeah, that's the oldest one in the
book"
<Brandon64> "Knock knock"  "Who's there"  "Your mom"  "Your
mom who?"  ...silence...then 5 minutes later, "Get it?  She's
dead! HAHAHAHA, let's go bowling!"

<SilverHorse> so hard to find good playstation isos these days
<SilverHorse> the sites either no longer exist
<SilverHorse> or are friggin french
<SilverHorse> and everyone knows you can't trust the french
<_van_> you can trust them to give up

<jero`> i just had a breakthrough thought. haha.
<jero`> i was watching irc
<jero`> and yanno when it comes down to it, it looks like the
matrix
<jero`> like buncha windows open
<jero`> chat scrolling here.. there
<jestix> when it comes right down to it
<jestix> you have to accept one fact.
<jestix> there IS no irc.

<Miss^Katie> whats the kinkiest thing you've ever done
<rachhh> well before i had my first bisexual experience, i was
smoking pot, and my boyfriend was licking me out and then he
got my dog and my dog was licking me
<Miss^Katie> what was that like?
<rachhh> it was really good
<rachhh> i dont think i would have done it if i knew about it
though
<rachhh> you ever done anything like that?
<Miss^Katie> ummm not with animals

*** cuteone4 has joined #photoshop
(cuteone4): has anybody in here helped me with a graphic in
the last few days?
(cln): you can be damn sure i havnt
(cuteone4): UP YOURS CLN
(cuteone4): i am trying to learn this program
(cuteone4): stupid layers.
(cln): wait..
(cln): youve been in this chan for what? 2 years?
(cln): and you don't know jack shit about photoshop?
(cuteone4): i just got the program recently

<Hydric> packing sucks
<Hydric> i 'could' have it done in a day...but i'm not that
motivated
<Hydric> hehe
<zoidberg> you gotta take drastic measures
<zoidberg> pack your computer, then you'll have nothing to do
but finish packing

<Cid{FYD}> B R to the B
<Navix{mp3}> Death to Cid for saying: <Cid{FYD}> B R to the B
* Cid{FYD} has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
<Lance> that was easy :P

(Mase): who we playing italinas?
(DynamoDan): macedonian
(Mase): where r they from?
(DynamoDan): the macedonians are from macedonia

<thcip> Answering Machine: Did you ever hear one of those
corny, positive messages on someone's answering machine? "Hi,
It's a great day and I'm out enjoying it right now. I hope you
are too. The thought for the day is 'Share the love.'" Beep."
"Uh, yeah...this is the VD clinic calling...Speaking of being
positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love"

-> -#tfc- [notice:#tfc] YOU HAVE RECEIVED A FATAL ERROR, PRESS
ALT + F4 TO REPAIR THIS IMMEDIATELY
<Spearhead> should i try it? :-P
<Spearhead> oh here we go
<Cobrabat> go on tell me what happens
<Spearhead> nothin
<Spearhead> :-P
<VooDoo> press alt and F4 at the same time
<Spearhead> nothing happens voods :-P
<Spearhead> does it have to be a capital f?
<Spearhead> hmmm xp that dont work voods :-P
<VooDoo> F4 as in the buttons above the numbers
<Spearhead> ooooh like the F1 Help button?
<Cobrabat> do you hit F and 4 together?
<Spearhead> i tried that cob it didnt work
<Spearhead> unless you have to hold shift as well to make it a
capital F
<VooDoo> like the F1 help button
<VooDoo> n00bz...

krux [~krux@nixhelp-62585.somewhere.dsl-verizon.net] has
joined #linux
<krux> yello
<krux> dsl is back buah :)
SignOff krux: #linux (Ping timeout)

<@kikazz> anyone want a copy of Windows 3.1 in Russian?
<@Nfs> may i ask why you have it?
<@kikazz> because its 8 megs, and it looked better than the
polish version
<@kikazz> my options were arabic, catalan, czech, danish,
finnish, greek, hebrew, hungarian, japanese, korean,
norweigan, persian, polish, russian, simplified chinese,
traditional chinese
<@kikazz> .. no english in there :P
<@Nfs> hebrew!
<@kikazz> "shalom, new user"

*** Mode change "+b *!*@24CBE824.816AE85.502C52D6.IP" for
channel #s*p by Spazz
<Spazz> Typo.
<amishjosh> typo? YOU BANNED HIM!
<Spazz> b and v, they're right next to each other

<ratsun> damnit i started a smallbox game but nobody came on
the field so i exited and now i cant get in
<ratsun> what to do?
<super-radish> reboot
<ratsun> the computer?
<super-radish> no, i mean take your shoes off and put them
back on
<ratsun> i'm not wearing shoes.....

TAAK24: you gamecube like yes?
gamecube4789: may i ask who you are?
TAAK24: i use aim
TAAK24: i find name in directory
TAAK24: you know where i get cheap gamecube?
gamecube4789: how much money do you have?
TAAK24: no much
gamecube4789: at least 100 right?
TAAK24: no :(
TAAK24: i need save for 3 months for 100 us dollar
TAAK24: i work at factory during week
TAAK24: money not good
gamecube4789: you talk like a baby
gamecube4789: lol
TAAK24: my english no good
TAAK24: why you make fun
TAAK24: i take this insult
TAAK24: i get factory friend slit throat
TAAK24: you no fuck with I!!!
TAAK24: YOU AMERICAN COCK
TAAK24: I KILL YOU FUCK
TAAK24: i ask friendly you make fun
TAAK24: YOU FUCK
TAAK24: DIE
gamecube4789: what? i don't understand what you are saying

<Nate> i have a big problem suddenly
<Nate> i just went to scratch myself
<Nate> had superglue on my hand and didn't realize it
<Nate> my left hand is now superglued somewhere very bad
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Remember, twisting motions will
overstress the glue, hopefully before it overstresses you.
Weirdo_God_of_Insanity is suddenly GLAD he cannot see Nate
right now.
<Nate> .......
<Nate> oh god
<Nate> that hurt..
<Nate> cccc
<Nate> cccc
<Nate> dammit
<Nate> my fingers now glued to the c key
<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Well, that's gotta be an improvement,
really.

<@ant> With something that my hand spends more time on than my
dick, I see no reason not to splurge on a mouse.
<@Scribble> Yeah, but I'd question whether my hand spends more
time on my dick or not.
<@shrav> for me its a matter of which hand
<@shrav> i usually have one on each

<Tamahome> Ryan: "here" being?
<mdew> .nz of course
<Tamahome> oh, Europe doesn't count :P
<mdew> europe?
<Tamahome> Europe is traditionally a *very slow* gaming market
<mdew> since when was .nz europe?

<PureCaneSugar> was watching docmentry on TLC late nite.
<PureCaneSugar> roman soldiers did that.
<dan> what??
<PureCaneSugar> took piece of sheepgut. Tied a knot on one
end...
<dan> o ya...
<dan> i remember sheepskin condoms
<dan> it's like fuking a sheep up the ass and a chick at the
same time

<SK> Gift certificate ^_^
<TehEnemy> heh, yeah.. did that to my sis SK LOL
<TehEnemy> handed her a Target gift card.. said "Have fun"
<SK> Was it like, a $10 one? lol
<TehEnemy> She asked "how much" I said, You'll find out when
you check out now won't ya
<TehEnemy> I think that short circuited her
<TehEnemy> Cashier: That'll be 149.99, Sis: Here's my card,
Cashier: That'll be 159.99

[BrntToast] #amish can't join channel (you're banned!)
<------- they banned me when i asked for the secret as to how
a computer runs without electricity :(

*** Maquiavelo changes the topic to 'If you don't want to have
kids, have sex with your sister in law and you'll have
nephews'

<Catalyst> iMike: have you ever heard of a virus that corrupts
the shit out of the registry...
<Catalyst> and really buggers with the kernel
<Catalyst> and rundll
<Catalyst> actually, everything.
<iMike> yeah ive heard of that virus
<iMike> commonly called 'windows'

<rigel> maybe a few centuries from now, year 2k would be
remembered solely for the goatse.cx homepage.
<rigel> "the dark rectum dilation century"
<avoozl> rofl
<avoozl> it'll probably be the only thing that survives the
nuclear winter

<dilema> acronyms make this world a better place
<AswethinkweServ> lets have an acronym contest
<Lisa[NY]> stfu

<Mosswing> anyone here got berserk series ?¿
<Mosswing> in DivX format
<^cell^> i got a boner
<^cell^> does that count?
<Mosswing> what is boner ?¿
<Mosswing> is it good?
<^cell^> yeah man
<^cell^> everyone has a boner
<^cell^> why dont you?
<Mosswing> how many episodes?
<Mosswing> i would like it too if it is great :)

* rabid_si is going AFK.
* rabid_si is now known as rabid_si[AFK]
<DopeHat> Rabid is going to anally fist Kao.
<rabid_si[AFK]> Rabid_Si isn't here right now DopeHat.
* because_he_is_busy_wanking has joined #infinity
<because_he_is_busy_wanking> Rabid
<rabid_si[AFK]> Rabid_Si isn't here right now
because_he_is_busy_wanking.

* Siren changes topic to 'Is it considered oral sex if my pc
goes down on me???'

<+DarkWaffle> newbie mIRC question: is there like a favorites
folder i can add channels to?
<+NaGone> No you type /server irc.dal.net instead
DarkWaffle «santaman7@pcp01450114pcs.chmbrs01.pa.comcast.net»
has Quit iRC

<MyTh`snoogans>
mY¯mom¯stole¯mY¯keYboard¯So¯im¯using¯chaRmap¯to¯type¯this
<MyTh`snoogans> god¯This¯sucks
<Unknown[SwHo]> charmap ?
<Unknown[SwHo]> like a palm-pilot ?
<MyTh`snoogans> yoU¯pRes¯The¯bUTTons¯wiTh¯the¯moUse
<MyTh`snoogans> iT¯TAkes¯foReveR
*  *   *   *   *  *  *  *
* MyTh`snoogans has joined #clan-swho
<MyTh`snoogans> did my mom think i couldnt find the keyboard
in the living room
<MyTh`snoogans> wtf was she thinking

<DamianMor> On the Top 50-100 page, is it possible to scroll
down further? say top 200 etc
<datacide> no
<DamianMor> Thought not
<maff> top one jillion
<datacide> take random :-)
<DamianMor> Random ones are not as high scored ;)
<McMoo> maybe you should stop letting other people decide
what's funny
<McMoo> you son of a bitch

<stat_`> we thought about catching a duck and cocking it :P
<Spartak> cocking
<Spartak> you sick fucks
<stat_`> cooking
<stat_`> COOKING I SAY

<Perryman> my vacuum blows
<DooMStalK> Perryman: You know, a lot of people have ended up
in the hospital with embarrassing injuries because they
thought their vacuum "blows"

<Guilty> In my politics class, my teacher said the reason
crime is dropping today is because the abortions started in
1973 of single mothers of ethnic backgrounds
<Guilty> Hence all the kids who were never born, arent here
today to be criminals

<RunNHide> women should be computers - then you could
re-configure their mouths to be input-only devices

<cygnus> in windows
<cygnus> what it mean
<cygnus> if the folder has a hand underneaath it
<Sephiroth> means it is shared
<Sephiroth> across your network
<cygnus> how did you know that
<cygnus> i thought it meant it was heavy or something
<cygnus> like
<cygnus> it's got 10 gigs in it

<TK-Work> Don't know if I should get 1 1,000 watt fog machine
or 2 700 watt fag machines.
<Ouroboros> Whoa.
<Ouroboros> fag machines?
<Ouroboros> What do those do?
<TK-Work> bend over the trick or treaters as they come to the
door

<Posno> ne 1 h3r3
<Monk> is there a minimum level of l33tness needed to respond
to that?