<Hawk> I'm gonna be tied up shortly...my brother and
girlfriend are stopping by
<Roman> ...
<Monk> so which one's tying you up? your bro or your gf?

<Shafty> but you can't expect linux to hold your dick for you
while you pee like windows does...
<Snapcase> I don't want it to hold my dick, but it would be
nice if the toilet wasn't an unmarked cinderblock.
<Thraq> and you have to shake it yourself too....
<Thraq> just grab that root and shake it good
<Thraq> and say "Take that Microsoft"!!!!!

<datacide> i just wanted to type shutdown -r now
<datacide> and what i typed was stfu -r now
<datacide> and for a moment...it looked as though the damn
machine was gonna do soemthing
<datacide> like a....stfu hidden binary

<DevDuck> how can we you worry about a little speed difference
when there's such huge problems in the world? like hunger and
war and my mozilla crashing!?

<AMD_aTHLON_MP>
mnajdi@microsoft.aint.nothing.but.a.system-crash.net
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> yeh
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> i work for microsoft
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> oh ok
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> to u know l cracked the windows xp home
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> heh so what
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> many people crack our software
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> do u know the trick
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> once you try and install service pack 1 your ip
will be logged and traced
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l work for the tnt2 cracker team
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> we cracked over 40 milon softwares
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> look man
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> we got a ip logging that gives u fake traces
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> microsoft already makes millions from coporate
buyers
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> that how we cracked win xp home
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> i already got your IP from IRC
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> @acc6-ppp29.hay.dialup.connect.net.au
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> ok
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l, joking
<C0ZMIC|WoRk> i can call your ISP and ask them who you are
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l not evevn useing win xp home
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l,m sorry
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l was only jking
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> plz forgive me
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> l got a licesed copy of win98
<AMD_aTHLON_MP> plz forgive me

<trife> past 2 days i been in the best mood dunno why
<far_away-> cuz u wante sex0rs
<trife> well i was about to get laid yesterday but my stepdad
just fuckin got home
<trife> :(
<trife> as soon as i unbutton her pants my stepdad pulls in
driveway
<far_away-> fuck him
<HSOK> yeah man
<HSOK> just go at her!
<HSOK> shoulda gone downstairs, gave him a twenty and said "go
see a movie, i need a little time with the lady"

<CofeeVint> how do i d/l ?
<Konno_Asami> type "/quit i love you" without quotes
y2kenjination has Quit iRC (i love you)

(CountZero) does anyone know where i can find the irc channel
for bash.org?! plz help thank you
(Sunk) Hrmm..
(Sunk) I don't.
(turb0) no
(Val[AWAY]) Hrm. Can't recall.
(D3KK0N) #bearcave
(Badtz_brx) what is bash.org?
(Val[AWAY]) #microsoft, maybe?
*** Kick: CountZero was kicked by Amanda_ (Amanda_)
(Sunk) ROFL
(turb0) HAhahahahaha
(Xanor) lol
(turb0) that was classic
(madog) omg
(Val[AWAY]) :)

<Soulfly-> come on simo we all know what u do on those long
brisbane to sunshine coast train trips..
<Soulfly-> YOU THINK ABOUT SEX POSITIONS DONT U?
<simo> no
<simo> i wank
<Croew> oh god
* Croew has quit IRC

<Tr1v14s3rv314m> 28. tegucigalpa is the capital of ______ ?
<Rive> wtfux
<Dr3w529> fuck that.
<Rive> Later

<Dude68> I just spent the last 15 minutes talking to an AI bot
<Homie22m> i think it was like 50 minutes
<Dude68> shhh.. I'm gonna pretend that it was only 15... so I
don't sound lame...

<daimonic> i was standing in the kitchen waiting for my toast
for about 2 minutes
<daimonic> stoned out of my head so i just stood there looking
at the toaster
<daimonic> then when it finally was done it gave me some
fright
<daimonic> fuck

<j03bl0w> I did a /ignroe *@* CHAN in one window earlier today
and only just realised, it worked in every window, and i've
had EVERY channel I've been in on ignore today ..
<j03bl0w> No fucking wonder I was bored
<j03bl0w> I just thought "strange, no ones talking today"
<j03bl0w> fucking hell.

* DarkScream watched some kid get hit by a car.
(DarkScream) On his bike too.
(DarkScream) The front end of the bike exploded, i almost got
hit by the shrapenal
(DarkScream) I woulda helped.. but.
(DarkScream) I was laughing too hard and stuff.
(Sklathill) o_o;;
(DarkScream) I hurt my neck rolling on the ground.
(Vulpes) I feel less bad about laughing when I read about it,
now.
(DarkScream) Laughing, of course.
(Riffraff) ...is the kid okay?
(DarkScream) Of course not.

<Tajar> Just a heads up... I may be gone for a few days
<Tajar> Hurricane Lili is heading our way
<Tajar> and they evacuated the town next to us
<Guildenstern> Back up your harddrive just in case
<Tajar> Guildy, I'm unplugging it. And I have zip disks of the
important stuff
<Guildenstern> bout 900
<Kiir> you know you are a computer geek when you have a
hurricane headng your way and the first thing you do is backup
your harddrive

<chris> aaaaah this class never ends
<chris> i'm bringing headphones next class
<chris> and a zip dick full of oggs
<chris> er...
<chris> zip disk

<|-|p|> neko-kun
<|-|p|> amrit is a h8er
<|-|p|> and what do we do to h8erz in this chan?
<amrit> deop em?
* amrit sets mode: -o |-|p|
* karr sets mode: -o+o amrit |-|p|
<amrit> like that?
<|-|p|> no, we usually don't do anything to haters
<amrit> ooh, heh
* |-|p| sets mode: +o amrit
* karr sets mode: -o amrit
<|-|p|> haha
<amrit> ...
<|-|p|> j00 got revenged ;p
<amrit> faggot ass bot
<amrit> I AM THE FUCKING 0WNER
<|-|p|> that's what j00 get for hating, dawg
<|-|p|> got to be a lover, not a hater

<wirm> going to bed in 15 mins
<wirm> 10
<wirm> 12
<wirm> 14
<wirm> fucking download remain steady
<wirm> 13

<Grimspoon> would you amputate an innocent babie's arm, skin
it and use the baby arm skin as a condom in order to save 60
million lives?
<Destrox> you'd get to fuck somone with baby skin to become a
hero for earth
<Grimspoon> i'd prolly not skin it, just jab the whole arm on
my shlong and the little baby fingers would be like "ribbed
for her pleasure"
<Grimspoon> i'd use the baby arm to ass fuck jessepence
<jessepence> ooooh yeah

<Enrico> do you like your co-workers
<Thibster> I'd like them to leave me alone
<Enrico> have you tried shooting them... I bet you didn't.
<Thibster> no I tried
<Thibster> they respawn

>>> dsfh [yo@vw-29207.connect.net.au] has joined #computers
<dsfh> hey i got 512 ddr ram and my computer is only using...
<dsfh> Memory Usage: (Usage: 197/512MB (38.48%)) º
(|||||||||||||||||||-------------------------------)
<dsfh> how do i make it use more?

* Mike grabs a pitcher of ice cold water
* Mike then pours the ice cold water over narzy
<Mitch_Shrader> i did that to a skunk once. it was
educational.
<Mike> LOL!!!!
<Mitch_Shrader> the skunk didn't like it much either.

<billa> rock climbing == need a partner
<billa> maybe ill just join #gym
<billa> err
<billa> join the gym

<DrNick668> man, a volvo hit me yesterday
<DrNick668> the volvo hit me and it's gunna cost me like 200
bucks or some shit coz it was my fault
<Warkha> was it an old person in the volvo?
<DrNick668> nah, fat chick
<DrNick668> i turned across the traffic and couldn't see her
comin
<Prozzy> at least the fat chick didn't hit on you, you woulda
had to pay another $200 to make her go away
<Warkha> or throw food

<Bulbareon> Avalanche prevention goggles.
<Bulbareon> Battery powered battery charger.
<Bulbareon> Braille Drivers' Manual
<FlareonAtma> helicoptor ejection seat
<FlareonAtma> submarine screen window
<FlareonAtma> iMac
<Bulbareon> lol

<CY666> Yeah, I sticked multiple things in my ass in my life.
<CY666> I even went to look for a virbrator in my GF's stuff
once, since I was somehow convinced that she had one. :|
<BUBA_kiNG> fuck.. i never gotto try out a vibrator
<CY666> Me neither, because she didn't posses one.
<CY666> I dried a force-feedback psx controller though.
<CY666> Kind of hard to do...
<CY666> You had to summon those Guardian Forces in FFVIII
without the view on your controller, holding one side of the
thing firmly, and laying in a weird position on your chair.
<CY666> Didn't give me much satisfaction.

* SexySam has joined #avision
<Jasper> SexySam: Leave now, while you still can :|
<SexySam> what's up?
<CY666> We talking about first time mastrubation experiences.
<SexySam> thx
* SexySam has left #avision

<PuffinFreshWog> Lord_Lamb: a cop came to our school and said
that if two underage ppls fuck, they are, strictly by law,
raping eachother

<mdl> i think nec uses aperture grille tubes
<mdl> and mitsu
<mdl> yeah
<AlmtyBob> there ar ea few I believe
<RevMarcus> afaik nec and mitsumi both do invar shadow mask
<AlmtyBob> if I wasn't masturbating I'd look on the back of my
monitor and tell you

<@CC-Myshra> (Your Mom) + (Your Dad) + (Your Dog) = You
<@p24t> haha
<+[PQ3]UlTiMaTeP> wierd...
<+[PQ3]UlTiMaTeP> no wonder i like to drink out of the toilet

* beady husg plastering
<DC_Sniper> husg?
<Guilty> I wish I was plastered
<beady> its like hugs, but hornier
<kalypso> in the leg humping sorta way?.
<beady> kalypso, yes
<beady> i hold the leg
<beady> and hump like a bitch :)
<kalypso> tmi! tmi!

(matthardy) mxlbody: i have been in trouble for irc'ing @ work
(matthardy) mxlbody: like my fat boss came in and there was
someone on IRC
(matthardy) going "YOUR FAT BOSS"
(matthardy) and she saw it
(matthardy) she didn't let on , but i saw she was hurt
(matthardy) and i was laughing inside but scared

<Claud> when you've got enough people pressed up against you
so you're reaming someone in the ass, someone's reaming you in
the ass and the 3 people on your sides are fondling your
testicles, people sweat regardless

<bell-chan> i got the little mermaid on dvd
<bell-chan> dude, if you pause it just right when she just
gets her legs
<bell-chan> BOOM
<bell-chan> you see nothing
<bell-chan> the only sad thing about that is i tried

<phr0work> using linux is like using windows, except every
time you try to do something like install a program or a
driver or set a different resolution, a big black dude runs in
and kicks you in the side of the head

<oneshadow> hi there, im looking for a guy under 25 to
severely and permanently damage my penis, im from ny and will
travel, also offering $500 maybe more, lets talk private!!!

[+Badtz] good sex = the best shit out there
[@orion] what's the bandwidth requirements?

<[CSI]X-Crispy> bagging groceries is like tetris in real life,
I realised

<Zeuxy> I have to take all the dead small children out of my
walls.
<Zeuxy> Cable guy's coming on monday.
<Kayin> Zeuxy: so you're a pedonecrophiliac?
<Zeuxy> Kayin: I never said I fucked them.
<Zeuxy> .. well.. just the chicks
<Zeuxy> But usually while they're alive
<astral> 'usually.'

<masttime1> i gotta pee
<masttime1> brb
<masttime1> SHIT
<masttime1> IM SO KILLING MY BROTHER
<masttime1> he put saran wrap on the toilet
<masttime1> and i peed all over my foot

<souletr> god i hate fucking stupid bitches
<souletr> er
<souletr> *hate stupid fucking bitches
<souletr> i'd fuck stupid bitches

<MegamanX2K>yeah, the best thing Saddam could do now would be
to go to the Un and hold a conference in which he tells then
plainly, "The only place you need to send weapons inspectors
to is...MY PANTS! Cuz baby I've got a big one stowed away
there, ready to launch! Ohhhhh yeah!"
<MegamanX2K>...it's not like he's actually respected to begin
with...

*** Ashy_Boy has joined #rpgfan
<KeeperX> ashton: http://www.goatse.cx
<Ashy_Boy> ?
* KeeperX waits
<Ashy_Boy> (^#*&#(*^$*&^$#(*&^#(*&^$(*&^#(*&
<KeeperX> BAHAHAHHAHA
<Ashy_Boy> FUCK YOU

*** Melchior (none@1df4f87e.a763dad.dragon.net.au) has joined
#allniterz
*** Ass-Mastah sets mode: +a Melchior
<Orlyx> lol
<Melchior> what
<Orlyx> ur hostmsak
<Tripper> Melchior you, my friend, are gay
<Orlyx> what happened?
<Orlyx> *** Melchior (none@one.inch.killer.org) has joined #
allniterz
<Orlyx> lol wtf
<Orlyx> whyd u get that as ur vhost
<Melchior> lol wtf!
<Orlyx> lol
<Melchior> i have no idea
<Orlyx> i bet if u quit and come back itll go away
<Melchior> i never saw it
*** Melchior (none@1df4f87e.a763dad.dragon.net.au) Quit (Quit:
)
<Orlyx> lmfao
<Orlyx> god i love him

<p1astik> i think i should just dry shave, i mean, the razor
is just right here and it saves me a trip to the bathroom
<bugster> but you could get a beer at the same time
<p1astik> tempting...very tempting....oh..the decisions i have
to make

<Shut^D0wN> one time i called office depot and asked "What
kind of RAM do you guys have?" and the guy said "We dont have
RAM just memory..."
<Wario64> So what kind of memory did they have?
<Shut^D0wN> I dunno... I think i had an anyerism

<bbyhewie> my roommate just asked me how to change the font of
text in a picture he just downloaded
<PhsyCon> tell him to drop it in notepad :P
<bbyhewie> no, i told him to shut up and stop talking to me

<@LordZERO> I used to think a girls butt was forbidden. I was
so young, and naive...

<spookshow-away> playing: Various Artists - Track 10
<FadeJade> good track

<@CMX> got a speeding ticket the other day
<@CMX> and the fucking asshole cop
<+mootlife> how fast?
<@CMX> insulted my car
<%jdp> wtf... lol
<@CMX> 69 in a 55
<+mootlife> insulted your car?
<@CMX> fucker asked if I had any dead midgets in the trunk
implying I have a little car
<+mootlife> LMAO!