<troll> my speakers are off
<troll> so I can listen to some deaf mp3 :D

<modem> is it true that if you die in a dream you die in real
life?
<thecatisold> no
<thecatisold> but if you piss all over yourself in a dream
<thecatisold> you do piss all over yourself in real life

<jc> I have a dream.
<ailie> I had a dream.
<jc> Did yours involve fourteen twenty-three year old horny
Amazon women?
<ailie> No.
<jc> Sadly, neither did mine.
<jc> I can't seem to get a grip on this directed dreaming
thing.

(@Normandy) anyway, yes this girl has a nice arse, so maybe on
the next staff night out I might slip her one
(@Kazimierz) who says romance is dead

<Jemm> I can't afford to 0wn, but I wonder if I could r3nt...

<Ultra_Violet> I lost my virginity in a graveyard at 2am
<Vortexia> dude necrophilia is SICK'

<Mk> i dont think its a good thing to be getting flood
warnings in my email :\
<denium> thats why we have #floodhelp
<Mk> nono
<Mk> like
<Mk> weather
<denium> oh
<denium> that outside thing?

<mnsnsan> fourteen is legal in canada <chrizto> with the
exchange rate, that makes the legal limit like, 5 in the us

<Kimaroo> the pathetic side of being a nerd: http://
www.bash.org/?7755
<Mike`away> bash is back up??
<Kimaroo> no i'm just givin out dead links

<dingo> so i was talking to k-ron on the phone, telling him
about that cop talking shit aobut 'distribution', and he says
'bullshit'!
<dingo> and in the background i hear his sister bitching at
him for swearing
<dingo> so he says "shut up, mom says 'shit' all the time!"
<dingo> and her retort is: 'yeah, but you said the WHOLE word!
'

<@icono> i need to lose 60 pounds, my doctor is getting pissed
at me
<@LinkDJ> do you happen to be holding a small mammal?
<@orpal> "as your physician, i strongly recommend that you let
go of that 60-pound badger"

<TeichDragon> batir, host a Pr0n site ;)
<batir> hrm... My digital camera is teh sux0r
<Gilthas> Not pr0n of YOU.
<Gilthas> Ew.
<TeichDragon> *shudders*

<Pob> GUYS, EVERYWHERE! I just discovered the best chat up
line EVER!:
"Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

* Now talking in #chaoslegion
* Topic is 'UpTime[3 days 4 hrs 42 mins] - on win98, ph33r ||
[Windows XP Professional (5.1 - 2600)] uptime[1w 3d 6h 4m 31s]
(nuff said) | Linux uptime 194d 02:30:57 (0wned)'

* Praetorian is back: filling my tum tum after 17mins 11secs
<mil-soldat> Praetorian: you have the wierdest reasons in your
script
<Praetorian> yep :-) ta
<milenko> what do you say when you go off with your gf for a
bit of action?
<milenko> * Praetorian is back: filling my girlfriends tum
tum  after 1mins 12secs

@j0hn: haha
@j0hn: 35 trojans
j0hn quit (formatting)

<trog> one day, I'm gonna find the guy that created polaris,
and shove bright colourful things down his throat til he
chokes on them

(WillJitsu) how do I tell BitchX to use a certain port range
for dcc transfers?
(nyisles) /disco DCCportrange <port1> <portwhatever>
(WillJitsu) hmm  that's not working
(WillJitsu) ACiDDoG is the one running BitchX
(¨) join/#bitchx (ACiDDoG!
~willjitsu@cpe-024-165-204-216.midsouth.rr.com)..
(ACiDDoG) me
(ACiDDoG) so I type:  /disco DCCportrange 5990 6000
(ACiDDoG) right?
(shattah) yeah
(nyisles) yes
(¨) signoff/#bitchx.. ACiDDoG (DCCportrange 5990 6000)
(WillJitsu) funny joke
(WillJitsu) seriously, how do you change it?
(nyisles) /exec -o yes dcc_port_range num1 num2
(WillJitsu) is that another joke?
(nyisles) No
(nyisles) enough humor for one night
(WillJitsu) -:- No target for this window for -OUT
(nyisles) WillJitsu: you have to be connected first
(nyisles) and i think in a channel as well
(¨) join/#bitchx (ACiDDoG!
~willjitsu@cpe-024-165-204-216.midsouth.rr.com)..
(ACiDDoG) dcc_port_range 5990 6000
(ACiDDoG) dcc_port_range 5990 6000
(ACiDDoG) dcc_port_range 5990 6000
(ACiDDoG) dcc_port_range 5990 6000
(¨) signoff/#bitchx.. ACiDDoG (Excess Flood)

<surfer> anyone here
<surfer> how do i set up an irc script : S
<surfer> whats the command
<seven> surfer : there's a limit of 3 stupid questions within
the first hour of joining, you've only got 1 left.

<Clara> "Hey, this is the 00s. I wonder if there is irony in
the use of "00s?" Is it ironic that there seems to be almost
00 morality in entertainment for teens today? Almost 00
attention to morality by the filmmakers of today. Almost 00
open and honest observance of His Word? Publicly anyway?"
<zeniba> the only significance in the "00s" is that the year
now is more reminiscent of boobs than it was before

<JynxDaddy> YAY ive finished my Mc Hammer HL model!!
<Threeboy> im gonna pretend you didn't say that.

*** NormDragon has quit IRC (Quit: c:\dos c:\dos\run run\dos\
run)

<ultr0s> i think in the whole sense of the "information
superhighway", my isp ended up driving a yugo down some dirt
road

<Error_404> hmm... they seem to be covert snackfoods...
<Error_404> hostess/frito-lay denies their existance
<Cache_> see, they suck so much you can't even find shit about
them on the internet
<Cache_> goatse is on the internet and canadian potato chips
aren't
<Cache_> tells you something about the chips, man...

<Kuros> ya, but your in canada...
<Error_404> it's colder... but we get to fuck 14 year olds
<Error_404> so it evens out

[@SI-pHluid]: ::: You successfully sent (Brazillian Horse
Sex.mpg) (54.83MB) to (si-sonder) in (33m 18s) at (28.1KB/s)
[@SI-pHluid]: er.
[@SI-pHluid]: ignore that.
[@SI-BlowShitUp]: ROFLMAO
[@SI-BlowShitUp]: asdkf;mhsdFHG@$%^@$%^@$%^YRG
[@SI-BlowShitUp]: NEW QUIT MSG
[@SI-BlowShitUp]: askfgsdfGSE%^$W%^#$6
[@SI-pHluid]: /clear :|

<Bateau> how come there's so much illegal kiddy porn on the
net but not illegal necro porn?

<Tyger>there's something i dont understand...
<Tyger>why is it that some people are just plain stupid...?
<Tyger>i mean... i hate stupid people!
<Tetley>yeah, its a shame women try and play a role other than
sex and dishwasher in the world

<Eusis> "Where's the Anime opening?"
<KeeperX> between the legs

<PLUR4Life> COUCH
<Evil_Couch> I swear, I'm going to drown you
<Evil_Couch> err
<PLUR4Life> Scuse me?
<Evil_Couch> I mean, hi, how are you doing?
<Evil_Couch> you want to go swimming?

<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> You know what I saw today that was really
sad?
<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> We got these quizzes back in US History.
They were on some civil war stuff...
<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> One of the questions was "What was
Lincoln's original reason for fighting the civil war?"
<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> This girl behind me had written "To
defeat the north."
<Ghand|ForceMonkeys> It made my head hurt.
<Yardbomb> Ghand....Those kind of people are fake
<Yardbomb> they must be robots, because there is no fucking
way a real person can really be that stupid
* Raxc raises his hand.
<CoMpUdOc> He's got a point there, Yardbomb.

Dirt Devil351: i found this chic
Dirt Devil351: and she likes porn
Dirt Devil351: alot
ianepson: uh huh
Dirt Devil351: shes horny
Dirt Devil351: i tell ya
Dirt Devil351: dude
Dirt Devil351: she was lookin at a porn site
ianepson: did she ask ur credit card number and offer a three
day trial too?

<Mach17> i haev the firewall up
<@Curator> firewall, what kind?
<Mach17> redhat 7.2 :o
<@Curator> thats a OS you fruitcake
<@Curator> not a firewall
<Mach17> stfu newb
<@Curator> ...

<Phucker> I just tried moving a box on my bed with my mouse
<Phucker> :/

<MadManDaz> I bought one of those camouflage shirts and put it
in my closet. Now I can't find it.

<patchmonkey> I want to start a line of sex toys called "I
Can't Believe It's Not Dick"

<Chris> DeMonYus!
cyrus@a.b.c.d.e.f.g.h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.p.q.r.s.t.u.v.w.xy-z.org
<-- prime example of why some people should NEVER be able to
touch a DNS server

<concordia> i dare the zionist to end the intifada
<concordia> long live intifada
<milez> concordia, leave the sovereign territory of our holy
channel.
<milez> NOW.
* FireWALLs sets mode: +b *!*@207.134.74.190
* concordia was kicked by Pazit (Banned)

<Cam> its good thing kids don't get all their sex ed from porn
flicks, cuz its more difficult to conceive when you always
blow your load on her face.

<Lexcanium> Oh, didn't you know? Microsoft buys random domain
names and has them point to their main page. It's part of
their new marketing strategy of monopolizing the internet,
since they con't do so as well with OSs anymore. ;-)

<yah-yah> what is CAPS ABUSE?
<Nyarlathotep-> half of your question

<td> i use my webcam as a mirror
<td> i dont have a mirror
<td> :|
<td> damn i am a geek

<Ronwe> wtf.. I'm ignoring this commercial on the TV behind me
and then it says..
<Ronwe> "you can beat your beef. OR you can watch Britney Day"
<Maur> WTF
<Ronwe> I think I'm going to beat my beef *while* watching
Britney Day

<nach0king> "i had a gay time at the zoo today" - is that a
slur?
<@Technogeek> Depends what 'gay' is supposed to mean. It could
mean either a good time, or that you got assraped by one of
the animals.

<Professor> I got a phone call asking for the Gay Homofag at
work today.
<Professor> Surprisingly, I forwarded it to the right person.

<Lina> Women are like cars.. if you want optimal performance,
you have to warm them up. :P

[ @Paula ] i used to have a teacher
[ @Paula ] who gave us something to suck on for brain
stimulation.

<fredrik> i once slipped while wanking
<fredrik> hurt my head badly

<Elmina> IRC politics are exactly like junior high politics,
only they make less difference in the real world.

<Reeve> Every freaking time I ask for a Big Kid's Meal at this
one Burger King they give me a Kid's Meal
<Reeve> WHERE'S THE BIG YOU COCKSUCKERS?!
<Elmina> The big is in your pants.
<Reeve> Damn right it is
<Reeve> But I'd appreciate it if it could also be in my burger
once in a while
<Elmina> Reevey wants to have sex with burgers! :>