<torm_> fuckin gay school tommorow
<Avram`> There is school for that?

<luva_bd> i want a dick in my pussy
<luva_bd> oh and a puppy

<|YoShi|> FBI just came to my house
<Shorty> when they held up their fbi badge didn't u say
somethng heroic
<|YoShi|> yeah i said, hold on let me get dressed

<Bloodshedder> HEY YOUR PENIS IS MISSING
<macvilewhore> HEY I FOUND IT
<macvilewhore> ITS IN YOUR ASS
<Bloodshedder> must be small, i don't feel a thing

<Hogan> hah some asswipe went to support to ask how to open
iso files

<ishmal> im so naiive sometimes,  for a while, i thought
"Dubya" was some russian guy

<fRaz0r> there was a guy who ran into a bank with a gun and
shouted freeze mother stickers this is a fuckup
<JennyRae> did he get any money?
<fRaz0r> all the people in the bank just laughed and he ran
off embarrased lol
<JennyRae> darn... he didnt get any money.....

<^Jenn^> hard to find good landlords that work with you
<Glyolis> Your landlord works for McDonalds?

<Celestar> I'm just disassembling the notebook, the battery
contacts are dirty and need cleaning.
<Celestar> I think I overdid this disassembling. *holds LCD
panel in hand*

<Pigs> so our network guy is a cock smoker
<Joes_meat> I so wanna be one of those.

<JiggyNiggy> soul u ever been caught wanking behind the shed?
<Soulfly-> no
<JiggyNiggy> Good Spot isnt it :D

Nuclear Veasel: That's on the same island as Pearl Harbor,
right?
LiveThLfe: yes, it's all on Kaui (I think that's how you spell
it)
LiveThLfe: No wait...
LiveThLfe: Oahu
Nuclear Veasel: That's one hell of a different spelling...

<pix[word]> anyone know how to search for 'c++' on google?  +
is an operator, and doesn't search for that
<cam[home]> search for "c++"
<pix[word]> i did
<pix[word]> does a search for "c "
<cam[home]> not when I did it
<cam[home]> http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&ie=UTF-8&oe=
UTF-8&q=%22c%2B%2B%22
<pix[word]> damn
<pix[word]> i did 'c++'
<pix[word]> not "c++"
<pix[word]> yarrr
<cam[home]> I'm e-mailing your boss telling him you can't even
use a search engine, so he needs to hire me

«Wizardx8»: Damn those transparent eyelids...
«Cav»: i should mod my eyes
«Cav»: and put a one way valve on my arse
«Wizardx8»: Cav, your arse is 2 way at the moment? Confirms it
really :P
«Cav»: god damnit :)

<SiFL> wow i was just looking at something and thought to
myself, this is kool, i better get a screenshot, then i
realized i was just looking at it.... it wasnt on my comp

<BigSkippy> everybody forgets to turn /away off.
<BigSkippy> I was gone for 3 days once masturbating if you
listen to my /back
message

<MARSHALL> CAN YOU SPEAK IN BM
<Nikari> wtf is bm?
<MARSHALL> BM MEANS BAHASA MALAYSIA
<Nikari> Does everyone yell in Malasyia?
<MARSHALL> ARE YOU GIRL OR MAN
<Nikari> a very girly man. you?
<MARSHALL> YOU FIRST
<Nikari> ... that would make you a girl, then
<MARSHALL> I AM MAN
<Nikari> HEAR ME ROAR
<MARSHALL> WHAT YOU MENAS
<Nikari> It's an american joke. Do you have jokes in malaysia?
<MARSHALL> YES.IN MALAYSIA HAVE MANY JOKE.
<MARSHALL> ARE YOU WANT CAME TO MALAYSIA
<Nikari> Are you offering hot malaysian sex?
<MARSHALL> WHAT YOU MEANS
<Nikari> Well, when a man and woman love each other very much,
he sticks his woo woo into her waa waa. And in very special
circumstances, if two men love each other very much, he will
stick his woo woo into the other guy's uh oh.
<MARSHALL> I CANOT LOVE NOW.I STILL STUDY
<Nikari> They're always time for love!
<MARSHALL> ARE YOU STILL STUDY?
<Nikari> When I'm not love.

<Error_404> i swear to god... the next time my mom approaches
me about my drinking, i'm gonna fucking come out of the
closet...

tom: why do girls get grossed out when you say you've tried to
suck your own dick?
Kanddak: lol
Kanddak: are you saying you've tried to suck your own dick
tom: today in journalism these girls tied my shoelaces
together
tom: so I bend down to untie them
tom: and she pushes my head down
tom: and I'm like "believe me, I've tried about a million
times, it's not going to work"

<Gwindor> I like how horses can shit and walk at the same
time.  what an achievment!  must have taken centuries of
adaption.

<pricky> is there a way to auto-op users in mirc?
<pricky> score
<pricky> wildcards work!

<Graey> aw hell yeah.  the olsen twins in bikinis
<Sasquatch> Pervert!... url?
<Graey> newsgroups
<Sasquatch> bleh

<KingV> whats the time difference between utah and arizona
right now?
<Fico> 100 years of bad moral judgement

<Durand:#depressed> Nobody's talking to me. I'm moving to #
suicide

<ZephyrX> she's "barely legal"
<[SOHK]FATTY> i think i balled a 16 yr old this summer
<[SOHK]FATTY> she said that she was 18
<[SOHK]FATTY> i dont think so
<[SOHK]FATTY> she looked young in the morn
<ZephyrX> did she say "oops i'm late for class"
<[SOHK]FATTY> no
<[SOHK]FATTY> she said
<[SOHK]FATTY> can u drive me to school
<ZephyrX> lol
<[SOHK]FATTY> hehe
<[SOHK]FATTY> and when i did
<[SOHK]FATTY> it said  Jr.. on the school

<QuaKed_Oatmeal> i always wanted to be an evil genious\
<QuaKed_Oatmeal> ever since i saw all those james bond
movies...
<Shatai> You could start by spelling genius right ;)
<QuaKed_Oatmeal> stfu

<Alwyn Aldarion> X are you deaf or what ?
<MegamanX2K> Yes. Yes, I am deaf. This makes it IMPOSSIBLE for
me to read anything written on screen, because I have trained
a parrot to read whatever is on my screen so I can browse the
web while at the same time spying on the cute girl next door
while she's changing AND her equally cute sister who is also
changing AT THE SAME TIME. So, yes, I was unable to hear your
enlightening post. I apologize.

<Logic_BomB> scary
<Logic_BomB> my brother just corrected the spelling of analy
<Logic_BomB> and i wonder why he has only male friends at
times......
<Logic_BomB> and here i was thinking all the yelling from the
vents i hear is just them playing quake3

<Kestrel> I'm hanging with the wrong crowd.
<Kestrel> One of my friends just asked me what woot meant.

<Bank6000> What is the best way to approach a person who you
are attracted to at a book store, library, animal shelter or
football game shown on TV at a bar?
<CrustyNutz> You can do it put your ass into it!
<TheBrat> uummm personally just don't say some cheesy pick up
line..
<xTrinity Luvx> yeah just be yourself 
<speedracer> Kick her in the shin.
<speedracer> She'll remember you next time.
<Evil_Couch> zap her with a fucking tazer and then drag her
back to your place
<Evil_Couch> by the time she wakes up, she'll be chained to
your bed and she'll HAVE to love you or you'll cut her food
ration in half.

< S7L> Would you guess the nationality of the genius behind
this code: datapublikacjijava=new Date
(przetarg.jakistartpublikacjirok.value,
przetarg.jakistartpublikacjimiesiac.value-1,
przetarg.jakistartpublikacjidzien.value)

<Griffin> my dicks not that long
<Griffin> eyeglasses should do
<pagan> so you cant see your cock with the nakid eye?

<Tomalak> Trouble is www.bash.org is like porn - you can waste
hours.
<Tomalak> There isn't even the finality of an orgasm to tell
you when to stop.

<SRElysian> Mp3: [.kbps] (/)
<SRElysian> .........
<SRElysian> wtf
<Jaelynn> great mp3.
<Jaelynn> I love null.
<SRElysian> yah
<SRElysian> dood its previously unreleased
<SRElysian> special edition even
<Jaelynn> It's a hidden track.  null - sound of silence
<SRElysian> Mp3: [.kbps] (/)
<SRElysian> Mp3: [.kbps] (/)
<SRElysian> ........
<Jaelynn> Can't get enough of that null, eh?

<Mp3Boy-> I told him grep pulls out the shit u want
<Mp3Boy-> like cat girl | grep pussy
<Mp3Boy-> then he understood

(@Dalby) You have encountered the following error while using
Windows Media Player:
(@Dalby) Error# C00D0BC2
(@Dalby) Sorry, no more help is available for this problem at
this time.
(@Dalby) cool support

< uidzero> This dewd wanted me to host his site for him one
time. So I checked things out and "whois"ed his domain and
etc. I wanted to make sure he was legit. So I called the
number and he mom and answered. "Can I talk to so-and-so? She
replied, "You sound to old to be calling my son.", "Well ma
`am, your son wants me to host his site, so I was calling to
make sure it was.." <pause> <pause> "hold on..." (In the back
ground I heard her yelling at him for being on the computer
after 8 and he started crying.) <click>.. Next day, I get /msg
"Thanks a f**king lot, she took the computer and found       
all of my videos, I'm grounded forever.... "Quits:".

<scabb> Pfft. Rape? No. Love at first sight.

<scabb> Yeah, you still have to wear condoms when you're
having sex with a dead person, otherwise she might give birth
to ZOMBIES, who will CONQUER THE WORLD. And that's never a
good thing. That's why necrophilia is outlawed.

<eukaunba> I cried when I had no shoes... but then I met a man
who had no feet, and then I laughed.. REALLY hard

-NickServ- This nick is owned by someone else. Please choose
another.
-NickServ- You have -260 seconds to comply before I change
your nick.
-NickServ- This nick is owned by someone else. Please choose
another.
-NickServ- You have -280 seconds to comply before I change
your nick.
-NickServ- This nick is owned by someone else. Please choose
another.

[Rjx] heh, kids need to learn through experience
[Rjx] you can't teach a person, you can only help them teach
themselves
[Gauge] So they can gain levels, Rjx?
[Video`] I'm level 75 in life.
[Gauge] "BabyRjx gains a level!  BabyRjx is now ToddlerRjx!"
* Rjx is level 34
* Rjx has learned "walk"
[Video`] Level 34 and you -just- learned walk?
[Video`] n00b.

<nix>  what's with all these stores having stacks of those aol
cd's with free hours for FREE? what's the catch here?
<Morstis>  It's AOL

<mattym15> will pressing ctrl alt delete twice improve my d/l
speeds ?

<Lilmuckers> you know if you combine matter and anti matter it
explodes.... does the same happen with christ and the
anti-christ?
<ragnarok2040> lmao
<ragnarok2040> @_@, let's hope so :D
<Lilmuckers> heh
<Lilmuckers> prahaps that's how the world will end
<Lilmuckers> GOD: now now jesus, I don't want you seeing that
anti-christ girl ever again
<Lilmuckers> JESUS: FUCK you dad, I'll do whatever I want, I'm
Jesus, I can smoke weed, and sleep with satan if I want to!
<Lilmuckers> GOD: it'll all end in tears
<Lilmuckers> <two days later>
<Lilmuckers> JESUS: hey there baby, fancy some good loving?
<Lilmuckers> Miss A.Christ:  oh baby, I always wanted to make
it with a demi-god
<Lilmuckers> <insert large boom here>
<Lilmuckers> GOD: told you so
<Lilmuckers> JESUS: I hope you had that insured
<Lilmuckers> GOD: don't worry, it wasn;t worth anything
anyways

<@sh3p> Download
<@sh3p> Welcome to File Cauldron!
<@sh3p> You are downloader number 1,101,922 of 1,104,254
waiting in line.
<@sh3p> Your download will begin somewhere around June 19 in
the year 2044 .

<#geekissues><ef~loosid> what i really love the best about
this channel is the people sitting and espousing their
theories on life as if they are fact and they know everything,
its the best.

* \ is now known as \|afk

<@Ghostface> *aroused*
<@Ghostface> ./.
<@Ghostface> .|.

<DocGonzo> fuck my isp's mailservers
<tulmad> let hte hacking commence
<DocGonzo> i barely wanna read my own mail, much less all
these other assdolphins' mail