<Endura> Man, don't you just hate it when you are with your
parents in front of important people and all of the
sudden...you're hard and it won't go down?

<+aisha-fan> dude
<+aisha-fan> my moms boss brougt in a "new" penteium I
<+aisha-fan> those things r so old their obsoleet
<@MewMew[WC3]> As is correct spelling, I presume.

<Rodney> damn mom still on ebay
<territory> lol
<territory> ur selling ur mom?

<Lisa_W> ah, vevery woman's fantasy, 1,000,000s of mindless
drones doing what she says....and they call her queen
<Lisa_W> but we'll only want the one that acts like a jerk lol

<fuzzwad> theres like that one kid in every state that goes to
best buy JUST to destroy the controller
<fuzzwad> you know the one that smells funny and follows you
around
<fuzzwad> STARING at you...
<fuzzwad> I WANT TO SQUEEZE A LEMON IN THAT KID'S EYE
<Lazz> wow
<Lazz> how can you fit a lemon in an eye?
<fuzzwad> ILL FIND OUT!!!

<spiteful> the one day rule is when i get to "chill" with you
because it only takes a day for you to get a new guy...
<S4L3M> you're such a lamer
<S4L3M> could you tell your brother i can't come on wednesday?
<spiteful> i could... *couch*onedayrule*cough*
<S4L3M> or i could just call him instead and tell him myself
and ignore that last little attempt at blackmail
* S4L3M smacks you in the back of the head
<S4L3M> *THUNK* idiot

* }Phoenix{ has joined #haxxors
<}Phoenix{> Hey, everybody type in /beep 31337 if you wanna be
super-leet
<@Tyreal> Dont do it
<jackle> /beep 31337
<redwing> /beep 31337
<GangstaUO> /beep 31337
<jackle> gah!!!

<Mr_Rabies> Spyware is Jewish
<'Wraith> I take offense to that
<Mr_Rabies> well spyware doesnt eat beef
<SKnight> technically, spyware doesnt believe in Jesus either
:

Flaritter: "hit it" is an american term
DrSpaZZo: Yes
Flaritter: for examples: "I'd like to hit that"
DrSpaZZo: Brits must have their own thing
Flaritter: AND SO FORTH
DrSpaZZo: Like
Flaritter: ?
DrSpaZZo: 'I'd dip my crumpet in her tea'

<AnimeFreak> omg i just bought more ram today
<egg> how many sheep do you have now?

<Hellspawn> Does anyone know a place where i can download
Raymond E. Feists books because a) i have other things to
spend cash on. b) Have run out of said cash and c) Kazaa
doesnt have any
<Kura> eww, you would actually read that much off a screen?!
o_O
<Hellspawn> there's a great new invention - schools printers

<Tofusensei> linksys routers can suck a cock, btw
<Justin> wow, they really should advertize that feature more.
It would increase sales.

<@dev> I just shit out a "family" of logs.
<@dev> There were two huge ones.. 2 smaller ones. and a tiny
one.
<@dev> And then I killed them when I flushed!
<@r3v|ShenL0ng-P-> lol
<@r3v|ShenL0ng-P-> was the tiny one the dog
<@dev> It might have been a baby.
<@r3v|DeathZero> did you poke it.. maybe it was a fetus
<@dev> I left it alone.
<@dev> :o

<Veers> I guess they don't teach bathroom manners in Africa
<Donitz> Veers, newsflash, they don't have bathrooms in
Africa.

<daed> believe it or not, the robot on the cover of the queen
album is real and he hates you.

<Meowfaceman> I Gave NAMBLA Pictures of Your Kid.

<skwerrel> sigh...sometimes i really wish i could just ignore
my brain and become a christian

<tate> Male Mantises are killed right after procreating. They
die having lived a full and happy life.
<Samus> ok, I'd be a gay mantis
<Samus> no death for me
<Samus> i'd be living it up in Miami Beach
<Samus> going to the gay mantis discos and shit

<Amergin|afk> I am dyslexic of Borg. You will be ass laminated

<skwerrel> my savior jesus christ, please accept my lubricated
anus as compensation for my past sins

* hipnotoad tastes victory
<Goonigoogoo> that was tony jerking off into the punch bowl

<tate> I just love the taste of heroin. You know?
<tate> I could eat it by the spoonfull.
<ecs> it doesnt go in your mouth
<ecs> it goes up your anus and makes it bleed
<ecs> so you can yell my anus is bleeding
<tate> I think ecs has heroin confused for penis
<ecs> isnt heroin the long slender shaft like object that you
shove in your asshole?

<Tony> Aqua Teen Bukakke Force!@
<ecs> i love that show.

<MrMortisland> I know emo
<MrMortisland> Emo is little boys crying on stage because
their daddy touched their pee pee

<Samus> With some minor manipulation, I can make my
uncircumcised penis look like Birdo from Super Mario 2

<Legalize-> [MP3] Pink Floyd - Who Let the Dogs Out

<Tony> I challenge you to a duel.
<Tony> Penises, at dawn.
<Beerman> but battling against an unarmed opponent is so
unfair

<daniel_> i dont wanna use my brain to think
<Pntklr> i prefer to use my penis
<evilmorty> the last time i tried that i got a kid

<KonamiKid> kris, i'm gonna email you pictures of my wang
<zat> hah
<KonamiKid> it will have little eyes and a moustache drawn on
it
<KonamiKid> but no stick on eyes/mustache...
<Kris> gee, thanks KK
<KonamiKid> i made that mistake once before...
<KonamiKid> i had to soak my cock in a glass of alcohol to get
the sticker to come off

<Albot> It's not rape when you have a gun.

<tr0n> Gulp 'N Blow
<SteamedHams> i usually blow before i gulp

--- Received a CTCP NIGGERNIGGERNIGGER from amoeba (to #
somethingawful)
<Hee-La> score
<SteamedHams> i was about to nigger
<Hee-La> never hesitate when niggering
<SteamedHams> but it might blackfire

<[B-0]Jeff> too many ops, not enough of them are me.

* Orroni slaps DarkPrince_working around a bit with a large
trout
* Trefenwyd slaps Orroni around a bit with a large trout
<Liason> trout is soooooooooo 1995
<Orroni> i agree, it's too retro
<Orroni> maybe a leather trout with tassles
* Trefenwyd slaps Orroni around a bit with a large lubrified
fanged dildo
<Orroni> now that's disturbing...

<jenwolf> i remember when it was a big deal when we got our
first color TV
<jenwolf> my dad was like, now you can see that the pink
panther is pink!!

<toe2toe> what would happen is you were MEANT to type
"prosecution is pressing for maximum sentencing on the count
of vehicular manslaughter"....but ACTUALLY typed "the judge
licks penis"
<Jade_Vixen> If i was a legal secretay, this might all be a
problem...
<toe2toe> thats a pretty big if
<toe2toe> perhaps you and your IF would like to come back to
my place one day
<toe2toe> and i can show you my big "perhaps"
<Jade_Vixen> I can't spell for crap tonight... :P
* Jade_Vixen rolls her eyes
<Spizzer> ROFL toe2toe ur such a clown
<toe2toe> im crying on the inside.

* BassBone finishes all his evening rituals and prepares to
pack it in
<Selene> Okay. That was bad timing. I'm reading porn and
Bassbone is talking about packing it in.

<pb8> Ahhhh, 13% complete and only 16.5 hours to go
<Glitch> lol, of what?
<tharok> u timing your wanking again pb?

< DGonzo> hmm
< DGonzo> my gf left her shampoo and shit here
< DGonzo> next thing you know she's gonna want to plug into my
hub
<@[Hobbes]> DGonzo: ... For christ's sake just change your
name to DWhipped
<@golem> tell her she can plug into your hub if you can plug
into hers anytime you like

<MMB> !8ball AM I THE HOTTEST GUY IN HERE
<ChanServ> MMB: No.
<MMB> !8ball do you know who is?
<ChanServ> MMB: Sure. Yeah. Exactly.
<Yardbomb> !8 It's me isn't it?
<ChanServ> Yardbomb: Sure. Yeah. Exactly.
<Ant-> !8 you said that out of pity didn't you?
<ChanServ> Ant-: Yes.

<prozac420> 9
<prozac420> oops
<prozac420> was trying to change tv channels
<Kimaroo> lol...............
<Kimaroo> if you try to change tv channels on IRC... you might
be a junkie

<notmewse> so there i was, balls deep in this hookers ass
<notmewse> oh shit wrong window

(jonathans) i want a cow bell that makes a cow noise
(jonathans) when i hit it
(jonathans) it will go "COW"
(orion) cows go moo

<orion> Darwin 6.0.2 x86-compatible
<orion> someone explain please
<timmo> wtf is Darwin 6.0.2?
<Duker900> natural selection in your operating system!
<timmo> ya man i dont know about having something called
darwin run my computer
<timmo> youd be writing an email to your bitch
<timmo> and it would be like
<timmo> YOU WEAK EMO BITCH
<timmo> and delete your shit

<@Goshin> thereslike
<@Goshin> halfacookieunderneathmyspacebar

<Dr_Greenthumb-> tomarrow I got the house to myself for 4 days
<Dr_Greenthumb-> ahhh, the orgies...
<@EnD-Raistlin> left and right hand at the same time ? :o

<rocksicle> You know you use computers too much when your
doing something in real life, make a mistake, and try to press
ctrl-z.

<SpaZZtic|webpage> the bitch from next door was standing at
her window watching me hang out my washing
<SkewtuR> hah get some tampons hold them in water..hang them
on the line when she loox yell Yeah we recycle

<Heather21> hi
<negativepositive> who are you?
<Heather21> just a wife home alone
<Heather21> hubby is out
<negativepositive> good - start cleaning the house before he
comes home and hits you some more

<surfer_girl> hi
<negativepositive> your nick has "scary 40 year old naked guy"
written all over it
<surfer_girl> asl plz
<negativepositive> that just drives it home