<Deadeye> i take thee.. <name> in packet loss and no packet
loss, to ACK and to SYN, till TTL=0
<Deadeye> i take this acl.. and place it on you LeftHand1/0/4

<reek> stupid spam
<Phaet> dude, I haven't received spam for months!
<reek> lucky you :P
<Phaet> just reply to it like I did
<Phaet> I got this "Enlarge your penis today" spam so I
replied "No, thank you. I already use Windows Vista"
<Phaet> The next day I read on yahoo news that one of the
greatest spammers hanged himself

YukiNagato: As much as I do tend to play games that are
generally enjoyed by virginal fat dudes, I wouldn't touch WoW
with a ten foot pole.
YukiNagato: It's just that the whole "KILL MONSTERS LEVEL UP.
RINSE. REPEAT" thing is kinda old.
Semantic: That's not entirely true. It turns out that many WoW
players forget the rinse part.

<zachinglis> How do I recompile PHP?
<Vek> have you prepared the appropriate sacrifices?

Renleve: Pimpegration!
Renleve: Maria whores herself out at $20 a go under her pimp's
auspices to 3^x - x^3 + 7x + 12 guys every day, compounding
hourly, where the Wednesday lunch hour, starting at noon, is
the zero mark. What economic model should Johnny employ to
maximize personal revenue through the following Monday (by
which time Maria will surely have died of a heroin overdose or
at the hands of an overly enthusiastic customer)?
Renleve: The correct answer was "smack dat bitch up and take
all of her Jacksons, fo'real". We would also have accepted
"voodoo economics". Thanks for playing, Maria, you dumb slut!

<~Flash> how does one explain the difference between celeron
and non celeron to a non tech ??
<+bomarrow1> one is for toasting bread
<+bomarrow1> the other is for processing instructions

<+Torne> slackware isn't a desktop, it's just a fairytale for
naughty children
<+Torne> disable unneeded services in inetd.conf or slackware
will get you

<Nukleon> the greek "hell" was cold
<Nukleon> like the norse
<@amz> the christian hell is also pretty cold, compared to its
heaven
<Nukleon> uh
<Nukleon> wut?
<Nukleon> heaven is bliss
<@amz> it has liquid sulfur in it, so it can't be over 400
celsius... on the other hand, the bible describes the sun in
heaven shining like 7 suns, each 7 times as bright
<@amz> which gives an estimate of 2000-3000 celsius

<FelixB> I will never forget seeing our neighbourhood kids
jerk off a horse. :)
<FelixB> These two kids were just completely fascinated by
this young stallion's erection.
<FelixB> So they started playing with it.
<FelixB> The horse was enjoying it and just stood there. :)
<FelixB> The inevitable happenned....all over one of the kids.

<grifferz> haha that reminds me
<grifferz> I had a dream last night
<grifferz> I was fighting an evil irc villain and found that
he was vulnerable to ctrl-g
<grifferz> I killed him by pasting a whole screen of beep

(Psycho`) im a farmer ;D
(Psycho`) i built a heatsink farm
(Gorre) ...
(Psycho`) dont glare at me 
(Psycho`) they're free range heatsinks
(Gorre) XD

Lbreevesii: You know you are a geek when you're surfing porn
and start noticing things like the thermaltake pc case, custom
speakers, and external hard drive on the desk behind the
action.

<sartan> I have removed the air cover on the cisco 6513
chassis.  the rush of hot air tingles against my naked
transistors.  I slowly slide my upgrade card into the open
slot, gasping as I feel the flow of air sharply cut off,
jolting as the spark of electricity initiates the rom
cycle....

<Scotty> Oh my fucking God. I just spent the best 20 dollars
of my life. On a bet, anyway.
<Scotty> After school, me and my friends went to the drug
store.
<Scotty> And my friend brought a box of condoms to the
counter.
<Scotty> And she scanned them.
<Scotty> And he acted like he didn't have enough money.
<Scotty> He was like, "Shit, I'll be right back."
<Scotty> So he puts the condoms back, and comes back with a
bag of rubber bands in one hand and a box of plastic wrap in
the other.
<Scotty> Oh my fucking God
<Scotty> Until the day I die
<Scotty> I will never forget that lady's face.
<DanT> haha
<Scotty> Best bet I've ever lost.

< crschmidt> No software is bug free
< FrankW> #/bin/sh
< FrankW> echo "Hello World"
< FrankW> That's pretty bug free.
< crschmidt> FrankW: you missed a !

<gangstagurl> u wanna fuck with me then lets take it to the
streets u little hore u woludnt last two seconds
<comfort> nor would you, in a library

<Ryaltar> You know you're experiencing a humiliating moment
when your girlfriend tells you that you need an aimbot in
bed.. >Sigh<

<dakidski> DrtySOUTH: think the pig on the www.monsterpig.com
website is real?
<DrtySOUTH> It is.
<DrtySOUTH> Been verified, here at least.
<dakidski> what a beast
<rockorc1> wonder what loot it dropped ;)
<DrtySOUTH> rockorc1: you're such a MMORPG nerd.
<DrtySOUTH> It dropped a Dale Earnhardt Amulet of Hickdom
<DrtySOUTH> +25 to Hillbilly and Trailer Park skills.
<DrtySOUTH> 75% resistance to Highschool Education element.

<Zed> Guys
<Zed> I have a friend getting a degree in liberal arts
<Zed> for those of you who don't know what liberal arts are
<Zed> its okay, neither does he

<dez> lol got some hot lesbian thinking im one
<g0dly1> heh, same, actually, just sent her a pic of my ex
<dez> .....
<dez> is your sceenname josihawt190?
<g0dly1> yes
<g0dly1> FUCK
<dez> oh shit
<g0dly1> we never speak of this to anyone
<dez> agreed

<Jay> Did you hear about the Linux-car finishing last in the
indy500?
<MrBeek> I did now ;-)
<MrBeek> Not surprised though... You know how impossible it is
to find a decent driver for linux hardware?

<rabbit> rimming is freaking distgusting
<rabbit> i tried it once with my ex
<rabbit> and she farted in my mouth
<rabbit> and i puked on her ass
<rabbit> never again

<air0day> im not fucking burning crosses in the lawns of
gender benders
<air0day> im talking about who i want to and don't want to
have sex with
<air0day> i think i should be allowed to have pretty specific
opinions on where i'd like to put my penis
<devnulled> like in a bowl of m&m's for instance
<air0day> right
<air0day> a bowl of m&ms is just fine

<Maniaman> so lets say i have a date
<Andares> Who's the lucky girl?
<Maniaman> if that date occurs between 2 dates in a single row
in a database

<IAmAhab> i put those heads on easter island
<IAmAhab> it was a joke that went too far

CarlXxX: omg
CarlXxX: the power was out when I got home
CarlXxX: so I was like "wtf am I gonna DO!?"
HitmanBravo: =/
CarlXxX: I sat down..
CarlXxX: ate
CarlXxX: cut my nails
CarlXxX: played with my cat
CarlXxX: jerked it
CarlXxX: and slept
HitmanBravo: lol

<_static_> I had a dream last night I got fired because my cat
called someone a nigger

<snowchyld> This weekend I downloaded 1984 (movie) via a
torrent
<snowchyld> this morning I got a mail in the post, 'Dear Sir,
noticed you were downloading the torret (url)'
<snowchyld> ........
<snowchyld> I'm so going to a 'reeducation center' after this
;;
<ivan`> the DMCA letter-senders have already won

lemonlimeskull: Check it out. Just had a million dollar idea.
lemonlimeskull: I buy up a bunch of gumball machines and put
them in the mall. Hot Topic, coffee shops, etc.
lemonlimeskull: And I fill them with Emo/Goth kid prizes!!
lemonlimeskull: Razors, little folded up sonnets, clip-on lip
rings, stuff like that.
peterbilt: Hahahahaha
lemonlimeskull: Some capsules would be filled with tears.
Others would be totally empty.
CrimsonJudas: As empty as the depths of my wilted, blackened
soul...?
lemonlimeskull: Ideally, yes.

<ahref> GOD
<ahref> BETRAYED BY MY PHONE
<ahref> I was at school, and this hot girl started talking to
me
<ahref> And she was all like "Hey, you're not as geeky as I
thought you were"
<ahref> And I'm like "Yeah, I know. I'm actually not geeky at
all."
<ahref> And then my phone starts ringing
<ahref> And it's the FF7 victory theme

<TraumaPony> So.
<TraumaPony> I am pissed off.
<TraumaPony> My university's motto is "A university for the
REAL world."
<TraumaPony> And so they start off a game programming degree
with six months of LISP.

<vaguepant> Woooooooow.
<vaguepant> This woman is immensely full of shit.
<vaguepant> "The damage that can be done to children by seeing
a woman's breast in public is not that far off from the damage
that can be done ...
<vaguepant> "to children who engage in sexual activities with
adults."
<Wikidan829> oh no!! not titties!!
<Wikidan829> that's absolutely insane
<EdBoy> vaguepant: what the FUCK?
<vaguepant> If the damage is that minor, I'm gonna start
fucking kids right now

<@Nickle1776> So my sister has a life-saving tool in her car
made to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.
<@Nickle1776> And guess what?
<@Nickle1776> She keeps it in the trunk.

Park: oh god
Park: was hanging out with a couple of my friends who are like
between the ages of 13-17
Park: and one of them got ahold of my wallet
Park: Well, long story short, one of my condoms is now a
giraffe balloon animal

<kuhbaert> Yoda: The other side is dark.. very dark.
<kuhbaert> Obiwan: Quit whining and eat your toast already

<James> i didn't know this sort of thing really happened, but
the other day i came home from school early and walked in on
my mom having sex with a ups guy.
<morningbell>What did you do?
<James> i hate my dad so i ordered a bunch of shit from the
internet that will be delivered by ups. :)

<Spurty> so, I learnt a lesson this morning
<Spurty> choose politicially correct passwords for systems
<Spurty> this _was_ my security password for test work here
<Spurty> 8=======D~
<Spurty> and there was a bug in the code, so it was spewing my
password into logs on servers all over the place
<Spurty> meh, embaressment factor 11 out of 10
<Spurty> ttfn, I have jism to clean

<Sivvy> No, the next friday the 13th is in... July.
<Elmer> O rly? When?
<Sivvy> On the 13th, dipshit.

(bing0):I'm IRC user, short and stout
(bing0):Here is my keyboard, i have loud mouth
(bing0):I like to complain everything i read about
(bing0):Except because ban, i will never logout.

<nemovc>i once found the text strings stored in the bios of my
old 286. not far from the standard "Keyboard error, press F1
to continue." message was "CPU not found. System halted."
<nemovc>i always wondered how they intended to display that
message

<@gotti> you know you go to a bar too much when quicken
suggests it as a scheduled transaction

<Niva> I bet whoever invented Jello did so because he had a
lot of friends who did acid, and really wanted to fuck with
them.
<Niva> "Hey, Matt, pour me a glass of water."
<Niva> "Sure man, I- HOLY SHIT!"
<Andolph> And just to tease them, they stuck all kinds of
stuff like doll heads and legs inside the jello
<Niva> Dude, this water isn't pouring?
<Niva> "What are you talking about? You're getting it all over
the floor!" "IT'S STILL IN THE PITCHER, MAN!!!"

<surge[dd]> I'm Iraqi
<surge[dd]> I'll put a bomb in your mailbox
<tenks> I don't drop bombs
<tenks> I drop tanks
<Thrasher`work> yeah septic tanks
<Thrasher`work> cuz you're full of shit

<Taris> also, this I must share.  It comes right out of my
physics text book
* Ssithl prepares for brainmelt.
<Taris> A hockey puck, mass 0.115kg, moving at 35 m/s, strikes
an octopus thrown onto the ice by a fan.  The octopus has a
mass of 0.265 kg.  The puck and octopus slide off together. 
Find the velocity.
<Taris> yeah, this is one that the authors put in for those
students that stay up late trying to do these

<martin rockwell> life is like a vending machine, mate
<martin rockwell> you either have everything you want
<martin rockwell> or you're stuck in it like your fucking
change

<Alwayz> linux is like the inlaw that shows up for christmas
and no one knows why he's there, but he cooks amazing food
<Cyriana> and molests your children

barfcat: So if you used subnetting on a network with Mac's,
would that be considered Apple CIDR?

cthulhudream: come on Ben theres gotta be something we can do
||AB|| Benzin: alright I got an idea
||AB|| Benzin: I'm gonna need a pound of rohypnol, a keg, and
directions to the nearest sorority house
||AB|| Benzin: and an alibi
||AB|| Benzin: cause they'll trace that shit when 30 girls
don't remember what happened or why their pregnant, and all
that
cthulhudream: I kinda wanna make larping weapons
||AB|| Benzin: and on the other end of the spectrum...

<Cell>: i heard tupac was hung like a horse
<Kleptomaniac>: Tupac was shot, he wasn't hung. Read the news
sometime.

<DirkGently> IBO's about to turn into a OS war zone.
<iDno> no because...watch this
<iDno> Im going to do something that NO mac user is capable of
doing.
* iDno drops it.