<@psychotik> luckily i bought my booze tomorrow
<@psychotik> er
<@psychotik> yesterday

<kierabee> though the idea of 'talking dirty' with you does
numb my brain a little
<ian_> OK, I'll start so you can get the hang of it.  "I
slowly remove your top and spread hummus around your armpits,
inhaling the intertwining BO and chick-pea aroma"
<kierabee> that's great

<Boogieman> and I saw a girl and was like "hey baby, you
lookin' for a good time"
<Boogieman> and she said "yes"
<Boogieman> and I just sorta stared
<Boogieman> cause I don't usually get that far
<Boogieman> and I didn't have anything to say

<Imaginos> damn
<Imaginos> my neices cat ran away
<Imaginos> i said it went to kitty land, so she wants to know
where kitty land is
<Imaginos> i bring up my browser
<Imaginos> type in www.kittyland.com
<Imaginos> and then closed it as fast as humanly possible

<joshwil> CREED frontman Scott Stapp was reportedly "high out
of his mind and could not sing" at the band's Chicago show at
Allstate arena Sunday night (Dec. 29), nearly falling down
numerous times during the performance.
<Deathlove> Jac, God told him to get wrecked.
<CactusJac> He drank too deeply from the blood of Christ I
guess.

<@Pimp-Jojo> mc... i saw a guy in a wheelchair begging for
money and playing a flute
<@Pimp-Jojo> couple of hours later i saw him gettng chased by
the police on foot
<@Pimp-Jojo> i mean wtf
<+_Mc_> still doesnt beat my tramp with the cardboard cutout
banjo

<CactusJac> STEVEL = WELL I FORGOT WHAT HAPPENED BUT I KNOW IT
FUCKING PISSED ME OFF AND THERE WAS SOME GREASEBALL IN THE
BACK ROOM WHO LOOKED LIKE THIS JOKER, SO I GUESS MY ADVICE IS
TO WATCH YOUR STEP IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU, BECAUSE
ALL BETS ARE OFF WHEN YOU LEAVE YOUR GODDAMN HOUSE IN THE
MORNING, AND YOU FORGET TO BRING YOUR WALLET OR WEAR PANTS,
AND THE FUCKING COPS PULL YOU OVER BECAUSE YOUR EYES AREN'T SO
GREAT ANYMORE

<ke1th> i go into the bank..
<ke1th> and the teller says
<ke1th> please sign here
<ke1th> so, i get the pen
<ke1th> and sign
<ke1th> ke1th kennedy
<ke1th> and hand it back to her
<ke1th> as she looks as me strangely.
<ke1th> and i'm wondering wtf did i do now.

<cjj> DUDE! remember that uber fine hunnie 5'4 110 pounds
hazel eyes c cup i told you about?
<Bi0hazard> the chick who got naked?
<cjj> no no :)  that is kayli! im talking about "vanessa" well
she turned out to be uber nasty! 5'4 210 pounds !!! im done
meeting girls off the internet!
<cjj> i had to like run to the milkshake shop and lead a trail
of shakes away from my house
<cjj> than i made a quick gettaway in the car and left her ass
like 5 miles from her home
<cjj> grrr brb kayli just called :P  maybe i wont retire from
this net pimping just yet

<Caveman> fuck...father in law had company this past
weekend...including his friends like 17 or 18 year old
daughter
<Caveman> and da bitch didnt even use the bathroom with the
hidden cam

<Suave|Away> Oh, and don't DnD tonight.
<cow> dnd
<cow> ?
<cow> oh
<cow> yer
<cow> no way
<cow> !
<funnel|getreddy> dnd?
<Suave|Away> Either Dungeons and Dragons, or Drink n Drive
<Suave|Away> Either way, you're a bloody idiot

<Torey>Lets have a party for people over 500 lbs, and then
laugh at all of the fat asses that show up
<Icedpyre> I don t think that the supports in my house would
hold that, we could do it outside though
<Icedpyre> and pretend that we are running a pig farm
<Icedpyre>oh man .you and I are going to hell
<Torey> no dude, I read the bible there is nothing in there
that states  THOU SHALL NOT MAKE FUN OF FAT PEOPLE WHO SHIT ON
THEMSELVES 
<Icedpyre> phew, I guess your right

<Poo> Imagine my surprise when Jim said the Hamtaro girl was
hot and I was weirded out cause she was a 5th grade girl
<Poo> Then I found out he was talking about the hamster

<[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> <Harm> anyone have an example ipfilter
config they're willing to share?
<[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> #linux
<[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> lo
<[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> l
<Hat> <[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> how do I save a linux file again
<[P-G]Secret[-SGC-]> lol fuck you

<Spazz> I saw the sign
<Spazz> and it openned up my eyes
<Spazz> I saw the sign
<[IX]Korup> i saw your mom, and it openned up my eyes, i saw
your mom. talk about scary. big fat and hairy.
<[IX]Korup> i remember saying that to my brother back in the
day

<DooD> why is it that it's always the biggest, ugliest,
burliest men that get gender reassignment surgery?
<DooD> i could see getting surgery if you're like, 5 foot 3
and look kinda like a girl...
<DooD> but all these 6'4" 250 pound men with stubble and a
voice deeper than james earl jones going "i feel like a woman
trapped in a man's body" ...
<suzu> if you're already feminine cute looking
<suzu> you wouldn't need the surgery
<DooD> suzu: sure you would
<DooD> get rid of the optional material
<suzu> no way
<suzu> cuz the pretty feminine ones
<suzu> would think "i'm so fucking sexy"
<DooD> would think "im so fucking sexy it's ok to have a
penis" ?

<SJr> ped did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
<SJr> Mook did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
<SJr> Mojo did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
<SJr> Liam did you know I am 1000 weeks old today
<Mook> no I didn't know that
<Mook> happy kiloweek

<DeeCee> they made white chocolate so little black kids could
get messy too

<True_Hitoare> Yeah, it's amazing this abacus gets internet
access... :p

<Superpig> my uncle has a celeron
<Superpig> would XP run on it, do you think?
<ravuya> about as well as a dog runs with no legs or torso
<ravuya> and with bricks tied to its head
<ravuya> at the bottom of a solid concrete pool
<ravuya> filled with dead corpses and rocks
<Superpig> so, about the same as it runs on my P4 then
<ravuya> more or less

<@Vexer`> we went out last night to mcdonalds then to a movie
with some muslims :P.. i was lookin' for you to see if oyu
wanted to come
<@elf> haha
<@elf> like i would want to go to a movie with muslims
<@elf> you guys played rock-scissors-paper to see who got to
drive the explosive-loaded car into the theatre, didnt you

<wob> I WANT TO CRUCIFY JESUS AND THEN PULL HIS EYEBALLS OUT
SO I CAN SKULLLLLLLFUCCCKKKK HIM. ALSO DAD WOULDN'T LEND ME
THE KEYS TO THE CAR SATAN WILL DEVOUR HIM.
<wob> i should really be in the music biz

<Lookn4Poon> i'm in big trouble
*** thekhan_b has joined #d2jsp
<Lookn4Poon> i'm pretty sure the doctor is gonna finger my ass
tomorrow morning
<Lookn4Poon> i'm trying to hold in the poop so he can get his
finger dirty

<froggie> short lines are bad, mmmkay? please add to your
short lines, to make them long. like this, y'see? long lines,
good. short lines bad. pretty simple. I'm goint to beat you,
acidblood. I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THE BEACHES!
<froggie> actually, I'll play volleyball with you on the
beaches
<froggie> I'll fight you online on IRC and DoD maybe one day.
but either way, I'll fight you in a verbose and extended
mannor so that I may be one step closer to that almighty long
winning line! haha! madman? ME? of course, thankyou.
<acidblood>                                                   
Does this count as a long line?
<froggie> no.

<Blinxuh> damnit
<Blinxuh> I can't order any of this shit because of these damn
economy fluctuations
<Spudnewt> fluctuations? fluck chu asians?
<Spudnewt> well, fuck you too, americans

<Zaboomafoo`> aw shit someone help me!
<Zaboomafoo`> I happened to mention bukakke and my mom
wondered what it was
<Zaboomafoo`> Im afraid shes gonna like, ask some of her
japanese friends what it is and then find out!
<saijinsux> what did you tell her it was?
<Zaboomafoo`> a japanese food ;_;

<+Rustblade> I'm so angry!!
<+Rustblade> fucking computer
<+Rustblade> I'm gonna kick it
* +Rustblade kicks his computer *
Quits: Rustblade (rustblade@northface.intercarve.net) (Remote
host closed the connection)

<KBC> brb, i think i heard a girl say "desperate" about 3
miles away

<Bleepy> hmm this isn't good... not good atall
<Bleepy> i have an auto responder to my emails, and so does my
friend i emailed, and umm it kept boucning, and now i have
17041 emails (16000 of which cannot be displayed)
<Daishi> that waas you!?!

<@widea`way> if i wanted the CIA to track me, id buy a cell
phone too

<@Scarecr0w> Guest67082, we are the performers of a new play
called " You are a fuck-wit"... wanna join?
<Guest67082> ok

«[LoKiX] » jesus IIS takes FOREVER to install
« vip_ib » What is Jesus II? is it a roleplayin game?
« vip_ib » FPS?
<azzkicker> lmao

<xNichG> 'when nuclear weapons... attack.'
<xNichG> next on fox
<Darwin> seriously?
<xNichG> no

<KaRn> so if i made a million $ american and moved to
canada.....i'd be richer?

<polyWog> my welfare sim family keeps having babies
<polyWog> how true to life

<FlaVouR> if http was cooler it would be YO!/SUP!

<seph2k> The idea of old people getting it on makes me SICK
*BARF*. MANDATORY CASTRATION AFTER THE AGE 60. Man I hate
people.
<toad-> I agree with seph2k
<toad-> I think old people should be killed at birth

<DooD> and for the record i worship kim -_-
<``Erik> kim? one of my playtoys is named kim
<DooD> you name your blowup dolls?

<WTM2K> i accidentally turned on auto-catch, and everytime
someone says a url it pops up in explorer
<Supachikn> www.superchicken.com
<|Cheez|> sorry about this but www.goatse.cx
<Supachikn> www.tubgirl.com
<Dekkon> www.dekkon.com
<WTM2K> i hate you all

<zamros> THE GOOD THING ABOUT HAVING MY OWN COMPUTER IS THAT I
CAN JIZZ ALL OVER THE KEYBOARD AND NOT FEEL GUILTY THAT MY
FAMILY IS GOING TO TYPE ON IT

<comet_11> can't you just see someone using quake to learn how
to kill?
<comet_11> "...So then I ran up to him with my rocket
launcher, even though I couldn't find the quad damage
anywhere. He turned and I swear he was going to fire a slime
ball at me. I tried to strafe, but someone must have set my
mouse/keyboard combo up wrong and I turned backwards and fell
over."

<SithAdmin> * Now talking in #rape.support
<SithAdmin> * Retrieving #rape info...
<SithAdmin> * SithAdmin changes topic to 'You were all begging
for it!'
<SithAdmin> * You were kicked from #rape.support by RSBot
(banned!)

<stormo> im watching the best movie atm..
<Aurian> why is it so good??
<stormo> any film where a clown fingerfucks a nun has got to
be good
<Aurian> okay, i now consider myself lucky for not watching it
<Aurian> isn't it meant to be about ninjas???
<stormo> now they're having actual sex
<stormo> yeah
<stormo> the nun is a ninja in disguise
<Aurian> ahh
<Aurian> and who's the clown?
<stormo> another ninja
<stormo> look, i'm not watching this film for it's complex and
involved plot

<KeeperX> <zamros> I CAN'T BELIEVE I BID ON AN AUCTION WHERE
THE PICTURE WAS THIS http://ebay1.ipixmedia.com/abc/M28/
_EBAY_71847e281b4abd0be4c460d181152613/i-1.JPG
<KeeperX> <Project> YOU WON A FAT MAN?
<Flaming_Duck> oh god
<Flaming_Duck> look at the JPG
<Flaming_Duck> that's so gay
<KeeperX> yes, that is gay
<KeeperX> external CDROM

«Edgar_the_Fish» i sat and watched 3 male hamsters gang bang a
female hamster for about an hour at a pet store

<Nvrmr> were gonna have stalkers
<Nvrmr> gonna have turks knocking on our door asking how to
use FlashFXP

<tamrfc> HOW DO YOU CHANGE A .ZIP FILE TO .EXE I HAVE BEEN
TRYING FOR ABOUT 40 MINS NOW.

<fetman> when I read the quotes on bash.org I feel that I too
wan't to be as stupid as they are and make such stupid
comments and make everyone laugh
<fetman> How do I become as stupid as they are?
<tfg> There are two steps, as follows:
<tfg> 1) Bang your head repeatedly on the wall until you pass
out
<tfg> 2) Repeat step 1 until you get that stupid idea that you
can actually be funny out of your head

* dazalyn *wisks* off her bra... aaaahhhhh freedom
<nymph`grl> daz: Hehehe. This is why I love tank-tops with the
shelf bra.
<dazalyn> my boobs are too big for the shelf bra to actually
work...
<dazalyn> i wear them anyway
<dazalyn> lol
<nymph`grl> same here, lol
<Wildcard`> too much information
<nymph`grl> on a DDD it's really hard to keep them in check in
those things. :)
<shayden> too much information?
<shayden> not enough visuals

<phrenzy> i went to laser force yesterday all that cs made me
really good
<a3LegdCat> so you camped like a mofo?