<AT-afk> fuckin dog just ate my mom's dentures
<AT-afk>whoa is she pissed ()
<AT-afk>i think so neway...kinda hard to understand her on the
phone with them out

<_DeViL_kDs> me need help, how do me use flash????
<_DeViL_kDs> i have macromedia flash but cant find where to
put the ftp details into it

<fiveiron> you porn addicted freaks
<fiveiron> porn rots your mind
<la_haine> course it doesn't
<la_haine> you're thinking of TV
<fiveiron> no, i'm thinking of porn
<fiveiron> no wait...that didnt sound right...

<Dayv> I tell you, nothing works up an appetite like
committing serious tax fraud.
<Dayv> wrong window, ignore

<Dayv> It's amazing how many interesting games come out of
Germany that are actually written for adults with IQs above
the subnormal range.
<DJTodd> How else are we supposed to train the master race?
<DJTodd> Uh... You didn't hear that.
<DJTodd> I know nothing! NOTHING!

<koitsu> you know you're doomed when a COMPUTER matches you up
with a she-male.

<Kythren> I think it would be hilarious if North Korea decided
to launch a pre-emptive attack on the US while we're busy
messing around with Iraq.
<Ryuujin> Kythren, NK has already warned they will
<Ryuujin> if the US doesn't stop shoving their troops into
south korea
<Kythren> Coming soon from Jerry "I love explosions"
Bruckheimer:
<Kythren> Pearl Harbor II : North Korea Strikes First!
<Ryuujin> Pearl Harbor III: We really should have seen it
coming after the last two times
<Silence> If that wasn't so serious it might even be funny
<Kythren> Eh, I'll probably still be laughing about it when
I'm being dragged up against the wall by their troops.

<@pc|dogg> I'm using a file search engine, looking for the
wonderful 6-movement "Dona Nobis Pacem" by Vaughan Williams.
The only result it comes up with is (no joke)
<@pc|dogg> "Donald duck gets a blow job.wma"

<ZBZZN> BUKKAKE!
<ZBZZN> I yelled that in class
<ZBZZN> and ppl went like "WTF"
<Killrbyte> I once had a guy yell out "MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!!" in
the middle of a test.
<Killrbyte> Then the guy next to him said "SHIT! I didn't
think you'd actually do it!" as he whipped out a $20 bill and
handed it over.

<MogKnight> I need a button that makes me go forward in time
<@Ushi> They have that.
<@Ushi> It's called liqour.

<Null> hittman
<Hittman> hi Null
<Null> you are a load that should have been swallowed ;/
<rb_> 20 bucks says he doesnt get it
<Null> i see your 20 and raise you 20
<Hittman> load
<Hittman> ?
<rb_> YES!!!
<rb_> I WIN

<DCGrendel> i spent 8hrs today doing evil code to do evil
things i dont really understand
<ragnarok2040> you work for microsoft?

<@Jaxxin> your momma's so fat, I want to have sex with her and
not tell anyone else :(

<Smmenen> Rakso, as a law student, how can it possibly help
you to be so exaggerating
<Tristal> Do you even know what lawyers DO?

* H0merTax (~FathrBake@ool-4355ba4b.dyn.optonline.net) has
joined
<H0merTax> hello, does anyone know what it means when it says
"need correct key to join a channel"?
<@Opeeo> to fix it type /quit special key
*** H0merTax has left IRC (special key)
* H0merTax (~FathrBake@ool-4355ba4b.dyn.optonline.net) has
joined
<H0merTax> hey i tried that and it kicked me off? id really
appriciater help
<@Opeeo> try /quit special key 2
<H0merTax> where dop i type ot in... the window that says
where i connect?
<@Opeeo> yeah bro
<H0merTax> thanx
*** H0merTax has left IRC (special key 2)
* Opeeo sets mode: +b *!*@ool-4355ba4b.dyn.optonline.net

<+an_ass733> Hey guys I have someting interesing to tell
<+an_ass733> I went to a chinese restaurant for lunch today
<+an_ass733> The fortune cookie said "A successful life comes
from a life of virtue and hard work."
<+an_ass733> On the back were the lottery numbers.

<KKK> hey guys check this out, i can say all the banned words,
and not get banned, look
<KKK> FUCK YOU MYDOWNLOADER KAZZA XDCCSPY CRITEN INSIDERZ
* dv sets mode: +b *!*@52DF899E39.addictz.net
* KKK was kicked by dv (banned: Repeated Offence, No Caps!
5min ban)

<StreaK> fuck im in a lot of channels
* Volt|Sleep does a whois a StreaK
<Volt|Sleep> StreaK is on #3drealms @#incest_r_us @#
animalphilia @#fecalphilia @#luvn_lambs_rule @#mom-fuck-movies
#disney_pics
<StreaK> WTF
<StreaK> i thought i had ops in disney_pics

<citizenh8> bubb rubb jacked my GC game
<citizenh8> its been held up in Oakland for 4 days now

<@nuclear_> anyone know about a/c systems in cars?
<@lucidguy> they blow.

<trollusk_zzz> ha ha slip
<trollusk_zzz> i have two quotes on bash and what do you have?
a hot girlfriend and a promising sports career! SUCKER

<homework> oh god.. i just hit ctrl+s after putting down my
pencil

<markogogo> :(
<markogogo> I try and try and try....
<markogogo> ... and nothing comes out of it.
<Yellow-Snow> try using the other hand mark

<Aiwa> I might be writing an editorial about the state of
NASCAR and what led to Dale Earnhardt's death...
<Graphic_V> I'm guessing the wall.

<Lincoln`s_Wax> Liberal Arts Quantum Physics: Light's damned
fast and not everything is as it seems. Space is funny like
that. The end.

<JakBauer> oh thats right, we could only use 8 char nicks on
efnet.
<CactusJac> 9 chars
<kuribo> cactus...
<kuribo> you're on altnet now
<kuribo> JUST ADD THE FREAKING K
<CactusJac> no
<kuribo> ADD IT
<CactusJac> OK
*** CactusJac is now known as CacktusJac

<CyniKaL> id pretend I was gay to be the fluffer for a porn
movie...
<Kohn|watching|eating> Fluffer: person that sucks the cocks
when they go limp during a porn movie

<urandom> hrm...do you have kids?
<RangerRick> nope
<urandom> route add -host 192.168.0.5 gw 127.0.0.1 <--- It's
comes to this, the only way I can get them to do their chores

<Slicer> Its funny how the thought of sucking on a wet sock
makes me feel sick to my stomach
<Slicer> and the thought of sucking on a dick, disturbingly
enough, doesn't.
<Red> ...

[Tom] That was unexpected
[Tom] I was playing with my pen
[Tom] And it just exploded
[ReDeeMeR] Quite the contrary; usually if you 'play' with your
'pen' enough, it will 'explode'

<Dezmo> man, a coworker of mine had a blind date, so I offered
to call him right after he met her so if she was ugly he could
act like some emergency had come up and had to go
<Dezmo> so I call, and she answers the phone "is this the
emergency phone call in case I'm a skank?"

<REIDZY> why the fuck is everyone tryign to tlak all fuckign
smart

<keevs> umm from IRC or IRL?
<Doomers> What program is IRL?
<Mal> my god

<Tommy^> anybody know if u can download win98 second edition
for free if you allready own 98
<Tommy^> cant seem to find it on microsoft site

<Knives> YOUR RADIO IS BROKEN
<Knives> I DEMAND A REFUCK
<Knives> .
<Knives> REFUND

<Raven> spread the word of jesus my brother
<Jonesy> j----e---s----u---s

[ @K` ] rac00n: remember the whole noah and the arc story ?
[ @rac00n ] u mean the one where they couldnt fit my beast
inside the arc?
[ @K` ] no i mean the one where they had to build an arc
because my bukakke covered the earth for like 40 days and 40
nights

liz: you know if love was measured in kb's ...it would take
HOURS for me to upload my love for you.
mikey: *taps your forehead* that's because of your small
upstream bandwidth dear.
mikey: <3
liz: hahahhahahhahahhaha
liz: god i love it when you talk dorky to me
mikey: also, i seem to be dropping syn packets.
mikey: i suspect a collision somewhere on your train of
thought.
liz: ping www.loveformikey.com
mikey: host not found :-(

<jim_trim> How To Know If a girl likes you
<jim_trim> ?
<sarah> Quite simple: If she sits naked on your hand, and it
feels like a horse is eating out of your palm, she likes you.

<@Mike> OMG
<@Mike> I just got a security alert
<@Mike> MY COMPUTER IS BROADCASTING AN IP ADDRESS!!!!!!!
<@Mike> OMFG
<@Mike> what do I do?????????
* @Mike clicks the helpful lil message
<@Mike> oooh look. A purple monkey wants to sell me a firewall

<z8ball> ive been sitting here for 30 mins trying to get ppp
going in fbsd
<z8ball> just realised i only have 1 phone line
<z8ball> and im using it

<+|neo|> FUCK!!!!!!!!!
<+|neo|> fucking donut
<+|neo|> this is gay
<+|neo|> i bit my lip while eating this donut
<+|neo|> hurt like a bitch
<+|neo|> bout 5 secs later i bit it in the same place again
<+|neo|> then it started bleeding
<@Decco> lol
<+|neo|> then about 20 secs ago i bit the same part again
<sic6sic> neo....dont move
<sic6sic> just....dont move

<fallenMeSsIAH> damn cops, they piss me off, SHE Wanted to
have sex infront of the police station not me, i am an
unwilling participant, charge her for rape if it will get me
out of a indecent exposure charge
<BenZor> fallenMeSsIAH: you got laid... consider it a miracle

<Assid> ack
<Assid> something not right here
<Assid>  1:58am  up 1 day, 19:16,  2 users,  load average:
149.20, 123.73, 57.51

<un0> i want them to commit seppuku when they lose on iron
chef

* iMac therefore iSuck *

<SirLudicrus> What are those hats that have beer can mounts on
each side called?
<Kurin> Stupid

<chuffy> this is fucked
<chuffy> i left my blinds open
<chuffy> and i woke up
<chuffy> and im sunburnt

<kuribo> i guess if i spent less time deathmatching i'd have a
woman
<kuribo> but deathmatching is free
<kuribo> fragging > sex
<WildPegasus> Fragging is kind of like sex. If you do them
right, goo goes everywhere.
<kuribo> pretty much, peg... and just like sex, after you're
done fragging, you can just leave the server if you want, or
stick around for another round

<Trax> Raider are you on LSD?
<Raider> ehh, no Im on DSL