<saxxonpike> What a dumbass.
<saxxonpike> some guy asked me for help, and I told him to
call for tech support.
<mrmojo> how stupid
<saxxonpike> that's not the best part... he was on dial-up.
<saxxonpike> then he complains to me that there's line noise.

<martin> USER     TTY      FROM              LOGIN@   IDLE  
JCPU   PCPU  WHAT
<martin> martin   :0       -                 8:19pm   ?    
0.00s   ?     -
<martin> god      pts/2    h-69-3-170-235.n 11:03pm  0.00s 
0.07s  0.07s  -lynx www.worldtranssexuals.com
<Nikita> umm
<Nikita> why a text browser?
<martin> i dunno
<Nikita> lamo
<martin> =/
<GOD> damn it, can't I look at your father in peace?

(IRC trivia)
<IMAP> masturbating
<Guest89332>  IMAP wins 5 Points for  masturbating

<Mitsune_Konno> Yeah, except starbucks sucks
<Mitsune_Konno> for some reason you can getevery color of
coffee except black

(DreamThtr): im not american
(DreamThtr): but i went to the usher concert
(CrazyCoot): by american do you mean straight

<Miro-kun> An F-111 was flying escort with a B-52 and
generally making a nuisance of himself by flying rolls around
the lumbering old bomber.
<Miro-kun> The message for the B-52 crew was, "Anything you
can do, I can do better."
<Miro-kun> Not to be outdone, the bomber pilot announced that
he would rise to the challenge.
<Miro-kun> The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level,
however.
<Miro-kun> Perplexed, the fighter pilot asked, "So? What did
you do?"
<Miro-kun> "We just shut down two engines."

<Taerom> "On tonight's headlines, Tony The Tiger is arrested
for sexual assault. He would not comment on the charges,
except to say: It's rrrrrrrrrrrrape!"

<Karva> Canada doesn't even have a space program
<Eight> uh
<Karva> haha
<Eight> yeah we do? We actually do a lot of manufacturing of
parts for them shuttles.
<Eight> I mean uh.. oops.

!dmwaters*! This is a wallops message for the Freenode network
If you do not wish to see theese messages, type /mode yournick
-w now. Thank you for using Freenode!:)
!lilo*! This is a WALLOPS message for freenode.  These
messages contain non-critical comments and announcements and
detailed server info.  If you'd like to turn them off, '/mode
<yournick> -w' works on most clients.  Thank you for using
freenode!
!lilo*! For reference, this is a non-critical comment.  Erm,
wait.  Yeah.  I think.
!brd*! m00 cow m00.. This is a non-critical m00, please stay
tuned for further m00s
!lilo*! Hmph.
!brd*! ;P

<SandLev> I keep those empty cardboard boxes that used to hold
blank cd-r's... put the pr0n in those...
<SandLev> nobody thinks to search blank cd-r boxes for actuall
stuff
<Zoogle> except someone who is looking for a blank cd.. :/

<devoid> did you know what dell dude got busted for pot
<SSSXIII> yeah ;D
<devoid> it confuses me because i always thought marijuana was
a gateway drug

<TheDingo> okay.. i walked into the kitchen to get something,
and my mom is on the phone with someone and she says "i said,
'who are you to talk? you showed the inside of your anus to
half the nation!'"
<TheDingo> and i just screamed "you know the goatse man?!"

<Omegaquila> 3 2 1
<normanpennyworth> whenever someone goes 3 2 1 that's my cue
to BREAK IT DOWN

<JustinW> My girlfriend says Shaft sucks.
<Sigma> JustinW: maybe she just isn't doing it right.

<Verchiani> whats a good word to get shaved into the back of
your head??
<DeathJester> idiot

<everydayiscatday> im gunna hack the nickelodeon website and
put a giant picture of my cock on it instead
<ramoth4> I think they have cock ID databases now
<ramoth4> after 9/11 you know

<DJ-Pyro> damn you Rick|zzZZz...you better not be sleeping
*DJ-Pyro wants to go to bed
<Kel> you need Rick to tuck you in?

<jerk> napster's death kinda ruined it for me.  I don't trust
any of the programs out there now...too much spyware
<bloke> ahhh
<jerk> backdoors bigger than a transvestite's
<bloke> theres an expression that u just don't hear enough

<[J03Y]> What is the sound of one hand fapping?
<Crabster> bullshit. what is the sound of one man unfing?
<Genki--> there is no spoon

<MrMaddog> Hairy men and eggs does not a porn make :P
<Rucas> You've never been to Germany, have you?

<ap0c> i'm building a computer out of the remnants of the
Columbia.
<ap0c> it's gonna crash a lot
<ap0c> buh dum tssh
<xenu-> lmao

<fubar> We have a town called "Gay Head, MA"
<fubar> There's a town in Wisconsin named Spread Eagle
<fubar> There's a town in South Carolina named Sugar Tit
<Jagfire> I like gay head better
<fubar> I'm sure you do

<Twingy> but I don't see the reason for sending so many troops
over when they can do it autonomously
<DooD> because
<DooD> the troops are bored
<DooD> we gotta let them out to rape a third world country
every once in a while
<Twingy> seriously, I'm beginning to think so
<skymoosUK> sick DooD
<DooD> i meant rape in a figurative
drop-bombs-on-your-ass-and-piss-on-your-corpse sense.
<skymoosUK> oh, thats okay then, i thought you meant sexual
and stuff

<Mojokoko> phew... just jogged .6th of a mile
<@SJr> Mojokoko is that 1 and 2/3 miles?
<MarysKid> math not your major SJr?
<@SJr> actually it is :)
<MarysKid> LOL
<MarysKid> um... OK
<@SJr> that could mean 60% a mile, which would be wierd, or
more accurately 1/.6
<@SJr> which works out to 5/3
<@SJr> since when someone says they jogged a 6th of a mile
they jogged 1/6 miles, a 10th of a mile is 1/10 miles. So it
strikes me that .6th of a mile is 1/.6
<Mojokoko> bah...
<Mojokoko> ill kick your mensa ass to alaska

<Mullet_Man> its so retarded when people r trying to type lots
of !!!'s
<Mullet_Man> there all like "yeah...im so cool!!1!~1`~!"
<Mullet_Man> i mean, is it really that damned hard to type
"!!!!1"

<myne> has anyone else seen the mpeg of tubgirl?
<myne> It is the closest I have ever come to throwing up on a
screen
<myne> it is sooo much wronger than the jpeg
<myne> it was in my sisters inbox of all places
<@toe2toe> a) you dont have a sister
<@toe2toe> b) you ARE a sister
<@toe2toe> c) i hate you
<myne> I'll opt for C as it is the most correct answer
<@toe2toe> they werent options

<rastakid> Geez .. I really should stop with computers. I
wrote a valentine card, and signed it with "H4ppy V4l3nt1n3"
..

<VodkaV> lol, french tanks have six gears, 5 reverse, and one
forward in case they are ever attacked from behind

<willo> how the hell do you submit sites to google anymore
<ogw-iii> google for it

<Ludious> I think it's delightfully ironic that the aisle
across from the valentines stuff at Walmart features family
size bottles of vaseline.

<[--S--]> we drove past your house last night owen
<an|man|ac> i thought they only took the garbage on fridays

<WerdPerfect> whats up with indian people and java
<WerdPerfect> its like mexicans and yardwork
<WerdPerfect> wtf
<CrotchCapers> hHAHHWFRHAWH)R*@

<@niko> vox : i have inadvor zim for u   when u want?
<@vox> is it on ur laptop?
<@niko> no, its in that media form call 'cd's
<@vox> bring d cds to me whenevr
<@vox> lik 2morrO
<@niko> k
<@vox> lt
<@vox> m 2 bz 2 typ all lttrz
<@vox> bz bz bz
<@vox> u r not imprtnt enuff 4 all lttrz
<@niko> ur a fag

<Pyrate> I was downloading a hentai game, but it was slowing
down my Harry Potter download, so I canceled it... I think I
may be a little retarded

<railed> this channel is like an escher drawing
<railed> we're all condescending assholes, but nobody's at the
bottom

<CapnHardcastle> do the ppl on bash.org randomly move from
chat server to chat server taking ppl's comments out of
context or do they sit on just one server?

<@slippy> Interests:  Computers: Cyberculture, Hobbies:
Literature, Science:
Physics, Space: Star-Trek
<@slippy> doesn't bode well for her dress size

<KiloStar> I could probably get away with making $usedesign =
$sidebar for the moment
<KiloStar> heh
<ShyAway> $usedesign=false :O
<KiloStar> that would screw it up a bit
<KiloStar> unless I made it if (!$usedesign) $usedesign =
"default"
<KiloStar> and then youd be pwned
<ShyAway> $usedesign="incorrectvalue"
<KiloStar> if (!file_exists("$pathtokajar$usedesign"))
$usedesign = "default"
<KiloStar> mwahaha
<ShyAway> $usedesign=default
<DartHomework> wow, it's like the Dueling Banjos of nerds

<Logic_BomB> oddest thing said to me all day, i tell a friend
not to use plethora in his introduction cause its too wordy
sound and he tells me:
<Logic_BomB>  Don't make me open a plethora of cans all which
contain some whup-ass

<palos> i loved electives cause there were actually girls in
them, oh and they were really easy :)
<blindwork> the girls or the classes?
<palos> yes

<ex-machina> I had to change rooms at my hotel. You know you
spend too long online when you laugh at the fact that you got
moved from 1024 to 768.

<Perrin> I really need a back neonazi techno
<Perrin> er
<ToasterThief> ...
<Perrin> -neonazi techno +massage
<Perrin> c&p is not my friend.

<thenanny> What do you say when you wake up in the middle of
the night and see your TV floating across the room?
<thenanny> Drop it nigger!

<b1u3> i know the movie was written by a guy who knew nothing
about computers, who wanted to make a movie about computers
<b1u3> but it has its points
<daenonok> should have frat brothers over and watch hackers
the movie, and every time they make shit up, you drink a shot
<daenonok> you'd be passed out in twenty mins
<b1u3> yea but they got that worldwide virus on one floppy
disk, and it had a fucking sidekick virus to distract people
<b1u3> you got people these days like 'yo i just pulled these
leet kiddie sploits together into one bad mutha, the fifth cd
is half burned!'

<xenophile> ugh plane has a flat fire, we're going to be very
very late
<@jwz> make sure they check the heat tiles too

<WookieJHWH> tA-Kane to fixe IE on mac, add the line U$3R=
1d10t in the default HTML file.

<@X-G> ownage is such a capitalistic term.
<@X-G> YOUR ASS WILL BE EVENLY DISTRIBUTED TO THE PEOPLE BASED
ON NEED!!11~

<Typhon> 1 4m @n 31337 H@X0r 4nd I OwNz0R 4t kW4k3 3 4REN@.
Fe4r My m4d $K1llS, D0odZ
<xr> Typhon: you own at quake e arena ?

<lildaemon> every girl i meet and talk to ..so far ..(about
mental
disabilities).. like personality ones
<lildaemon> they all seem to have one
<lildaemon> my brief analysis concludes that all girls have
issues because of me
<lildaemon> men*

(doggie^): i cant believe you're getting a new mobile number
rather than do work
(doggie^): i applaud you
(slippy): lol
(slippy): it's not worth the money
(slippy): like that chap who had the WinME machine with the
virus
(slippy): two days later he called again
(doggie^): rofl
(slippy): "i opened the virus email again and i'm infected
again"
(slippy): <HangUp>