<xchlathx> "Dumbledore returns from the dead and declares it
to be hammertime, Harry proceeds to break it down, Voldemort
is unable to touch this."

grosslack: Hell is a place of everlasting damnation and fire.
locokamil: Your belief system is thermodynamically unsound.

<Duskmon> It must have blown to be one of the first outsiders
to convert to Christianity.
<Duskmon> Like, you're reading through the Bible for the first
time, and then a bunch of Hebrews burst into your Church
shouting "CAIN KILLS ABEL IN GENESIS FOUR VERSE EIGHT!"

< esper> you are being monitored
* esper throws a CRT.
< fenrir> Your father's LCD monitor... an elegant weapon, for
a more civilized age

<Tal> Psh
<Tal> Our chem teacher said it didn't really matter how we
titled the graphs and tables in our semester prac
<Tal> but i still lost marks for having a Table of +2 Undead
Slaying and Graph of Destiny :(

<Belial`> you still cant say anything with certainty though
<Belial`> since the bible has like, a fucking black hole
between jesus being a kid and his preaching days
<Catoptromancy> Phase 1, birth
<Catoptromancy> Phase 2, ???
<Catoptromancy> Phase 3, Prophet

soulmata: i wish i could get rid of my nuthair permanently
Caffeine_: get the laser hair removal
soulmata: sure lets point a laser at my cock

bitshifted: i just dropped a macbook power supply on my
foot... and all my mother could think to do was quote that
commerical where PC trips over his power cord and breaks his
leg and Mac is fine because his has a smooooth disconnection
bitshifted: hi, i'm a linux box, and i... i can't feel my toes
:(

<Aurin> Which reminds me of a tragic event that happened to me
yesterday in a second-hand store
<Aurin> I found this Pikachu-suit intended for kids, but I
swear it looked like I could wear it
<Aurin> So I take it with me and go to see if it would fit
<Rhys> and it turns out it has detachable buttflaps for anal
sex?
<Aurin> Well, the rooms in second-hand stores are just like a
corner behind a curtain
<Aurin> I tried it on and noticed it was too small
<Aurin> And it looked horribly, HORRIBLY wrong
<Aurin> Going in my butt and the sorts :<
<Rhys> pika g string
<Rhys> ^^;;
<Rhys> electric sex..?
<Aurin> Well, I was giggling at myself when I hear the voice
of a shopping trolley, coming closer
<Aurin> *sound
<Nevada> haha
<Aurin> Then a voice of an old lady asking "IS ANYBODY
THERE?!?"
<Aurin> And the curtain is ripped open
<Aurin> That was the most humble moment in my entire lifetime.

<michaelbunnyexclusivedazzo2004> good if you like to asked me
anything pleazse feel free to asked ok? i have noi oproblem
with communitcating
<michaelbunnyexclusivedazzo2004> with othere's here
<Cid> ...I think that's a matter of opinion.

<Macko> helping out another customer with pc problems on the
phone again today
<Macko> after he gave me his specs i told him "hold on for a
second"
<Macko> three seconds later he's like, "ok, that turned my
computer off"

Trey: for some reason IE is throwing a SHIT-FIT about where
I'm using
document.getElementById("displayBoardSelector").innerHTML =
html;
what the hell. explain your stupid browser.
Dakk12: did you properly light your incense?
Dakk12: in what order did you do the chant and throw the
chicken bones?

<obm>If they make a Nano Iphone, I may be interested.
<obm>oh, or an iphone shuffle, no screen and it phones random
people

<@Thrawn> They did a test in our local riot police lately
<@Thrawn> You know, the one where you have to put creatively
shaped wooden pegs in corresponding holes
<@Thrawn> Turns out they have 2 kinds of persons in our riot
police
<@Thrawn> Very stupid persons
<@Thrawn> And very strong persons

tedivm: bush is having a colonoscopy on saturday so cheney is
president for the day
menzoberranzan31: they are looking for his head

<M> Almost got smacked today - saw a bright green truck and
said, "Hey, look, it's Optimus Lime."

<Hara> The old USSR had one single time zone too. They had a
hammer and sickle in the ground near the Kremlin and used it
like a sundial.
<Hara> Arguments raged for years as to what to call the
timezone
<Hara> Moscow Time?
<Hara> Comrade Time?
<Hara> In the end they all agreed.
<Hara> Hammer Time.

<sano_> argh
<sano_> i just wrote a backup script
<sano_> and then i overwrote it
<sano_> and i dont have a backup of it

<peer`> I cut off gummy bear heads and put them over the LED's
on my keybaord
<peer`> now I have glowing gummy bear heads

<Garf> Wikipedia! you go to look up a CSS term..
<Garf> and you end up reading about Spanish painters and
astronaut micrometeorite protection
<Liquid> tabbed browsing will be the death of the human race

* lloy0076 ponders
< lloy0076> If I take the source code, which is under GPLv2,
and translate it from C to Perl (changing it only to fit the
new language)...I wonder if the GPL covers that translation I
made...
< cafuego> converting C to perl is covered by the death
penalty, i believe

gazz: A bullet may have your name on it, but shrapnel is
addressed "to whom it may concern".

<Sniffer> fucking emos'
<KFAD> Emoses?
<KFAD> Was he the one who parted the binary seas?

FrmShft:i got annoyed at myspace today for trying to tell me
about fantastic new job opportunities in my area, which
happened to be a zipcode off
FrmShft:thinking to short out its idiot-circuits, i told it i
was interested in "prostitution" in kansas
FrmShft:i cried when it came back with 12 different listings
for "web designer"

<@Aaron> It's really simple to watch a move, just open the
console, and type "
<@Aaron> ffmpeg -i "$(find ~/.mozilla -regex '.*Cache.*' -a
-not -regex \
<@Aaron>   '.*_CACHE_.*' -printf '%T+ %p
' | \
<@Aaron>   sort -n | awk '{ print $2 }' | xargs file | \
<@Aaron>   grep -i "Video" | tail -1 | awk -F : '{ print $1 }
')" \
<@Aaron>   -vcodec msmpeg4v2 -b 200 -ab 64 -ar 22050 -s
320x240 \
<@Aaron>   /tmp/video.avi
<@Aaron> ANYONE CAN DO IT

<EvilKosh> holy shit. he's blending the iphone while it's
playing will it blend. that's so meta.
<jdk> does anything not blend?
<EvilKosh> Jews and Palestinians

evilada: agh, i'm watching this jesus camp documentary and
it's horrible.
evilada: i want to burn down a church
pnkfloyd: woah woah woah
pnkfloyd: Hold on there
pnkfloyd: wait for me

<Mercestes> ...omg, that reminds me...I made a faux pas at
work..:(
<Mercestes> My boss was talking about this new "religious
video game."  (he's catholic).
<Mercestes> and I went off on a tangent and I was like,
"oh...wow, what happens when you lose?"
<Mercestes> and he turned his back and I threw out my arms
like I was on a cross and went "Game Over!"
<Mercestes> and my other co=workers were like, "OMG!  I forbid
you to do that ever again!" and he turned back around and went
"what'd I miss?"
<Mercestes> no one would tell him.
<Mercestes> and then when it got quiet, I went "Continue?" and
everyone started laughing again.

<Sapient> hey guys
<Westovski> Hey Sap, wanna do a knock-knock joke?
<Sapient> err, ok
<Westovski> you start
<Sapient> k
<Sapient> knock knock
<Westovski> who's there?
<Sapient> ...

<Erpegisson> ASCII and ye shall be ANSI.
<Tentacled> UTF??

<RobertDylan> "Physics is to math as sex is to masturbation"
<zwei> i am so much better at math than physics
<zwei> wait
<zwei> fuck

<d> yay I fixed my laptops battery!
<d> it was so dead, nothing would charge it
<d> so I gave it the electronic equivalent of a kick in the
head, by shorting the +/- terminals for 5 minutes
<g> don't they have stickers on them that say they could
explode or catch fire by doing that?
<d> yeah but it's ok, I took them off first.

KompRa: dude, my girlfriend dumped me yesterday..
Ryan808: itll be fine man
KompRa: i got so angry last night i went to her girlfriend and
i fucked her all night long
KompRa: and the sad thing.. it was on April Fools' Day
Ryan808: komp, i think your ex was just messin wit you on the
breakup thing, april fools
Ryan808: i think u should verify that :\
KompRa: holy shit

<monkeytwizzler> i just tried plugging a serial->ps2 into a
ps2->usb1 in order to plug a usb mouse into a laptop with a
serial port
<monkeytwizzler> that was like 11 years of technology in one
plugin

<Personman> So pieces of binary information are bits...
<Personman> And ternary ones are trits...
<Personman> But that's far enough, I think.
<Personman> When we get to base 4, we should call it quits.

Ang3lClds82776: no, seriously, what is the difference btwn a
graphics processor and a graphics accelerator??
Philmj88: Well, to give you an idea....a graphics processor is
like an artist....
Philmj88: a graphics accelerator is like an autistic kid with
a paintbrush...

<BlackMage> The name Benjamin comes from the hebrew "son of my
right hand"
<BlackMage> If I ever donate sperm, I'm attaching a rider that
says the kid needs to be named ben if it's a boy

<DrEechmen>  So... earlier today, I was watching one of my
family's cats hitting a cord hanging from our blinds for about
10 minutes or so, and I started thinking 'gee, the danged
animal is so darned easily amused'... and then I realized that
I'd been staring at a cat playing with a string for ten
minutes.

<wretched> I started doing crystal meth for the weight loss,
now I just enjoy stealing cars...

<DusK> python is pretty easy to learn
<DusK> you write pseudocode, and you indent it correctly :)

<jimnathan> fuck fuck fuck... why does bash.org keep posting
those roses are red bastardizations?
<jimnathan> newsflash!! theyre not funny
<jimnathan> the only way it could possibly get worse is if
someone made a poem like that completely in 1337
<Fraeon> R0535 4R3 R3D, V10l375 4R3 BLU3, 1337 P037RY 5UCK5,
BU7 50 D0 Y0U?

xl DJ DFeNCe lx: Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Make me a sandwich,
Or your eye will be too.

<falafel> i'm about done with this sodacan castle around my
computer monitor
<falafel> well atleast the right wing
<falafel> i still have the top to defend and get some cover
over the left flank
<falafel> and i have to do it quickly before the mentos
monsters complete the building of their military base

<dsully> please describe web 2.0 to me in 2 sentences or less.
<jwb> you make all the content. they keep all the revenue.

<TRG> so, my mom was putting in her CD with church pics but it
wouldn't work on her computer
<TRG> so she put it in mine
<TRG> now, the last thing I watched on windows media player
was hardcore lesbian porn
<TRG> that got into the action right away
<TRG> so my mom puts in the cd into my computer
<TRG> opens up windows media players
<TRG> and the porn starts playing
<TRG> and when I realized what was happening I was like "oh
fuck"
<TRG> but then...
<TRG> she goes berserk
<TRG> she was screaming "THIS CD HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY THE
DEVIL!!"
<TRG> and she took out a HAMMER
<TRG> and smashed the fucking CD
<TRG> it was the best thing ever
<TRG> not only was I completely off the hook
<TRG> you have to love the awesome displays of religious
apeshit
<TRG> I think if god existed, he put people like my mom on
this earth to entertain us

schala: ... youve never had a pap smear.
schala: Let me explain
schala: they make you lay on a cold hospital bed with your
legs like whee and then they shove a whoops in your wahoo and
make it go zweep and then it goes weeeeeem and then they poke
your weebleweebles and then you're done
danni: -Blinks.-
danni: Explain that in ENGLISH?!
schala: I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A METAL CHIP CLIP

deusnoctum> I love online pharmacy spam that offer "discrete
shipping."  Does that mean they ship every pill individually?

Ademska: ....okay so is P. Diddy now just Diddy?
honestly x okay: I have no clue
honestly x okay: I can't follow all his names
Ademska: first he was Sean "Puffy" Combs, then Puff Daddy,
then P Diddy, now Diddy
Ademska: next he is just going to be a syllable
Ademska: "Duh"

Rude: wicked story tho..this morning i'm sitting at the mc
donalds i normally do having coffee and such, and this
middle-aged fat guy who always comes in around the same time i
do walks in
Rude: (and this guy's a fucking dick, I hate him just from
hearing him talk to the kids working)
Rude: so he orders his meal, and when they put it all on the
tray, he puts the back of his hand right into the fries and
practically explodes.. "THESE FRIES ARE COLD, THEYRE ALWAYS
FUCKING COLD WHEN YOU SERVE THEM, I WANT FRESH ONES"
Rude: so they apologize, take the fries away and after a few
minutes I see them put some more fries on his tray...dumbass
puts his hand right into it again, but these fries were RIGHT
out of the frier, and the stupid fuck completely burns the
back of his hand and shrieks like a fucking girl
Rude: I laughed so fucking hard at him, and he turns to me
cradling his raw hand and yells WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LAUGHING
AT KID
Rude: at this point i'm laughing so hard i can only point at
his hand and keep laughing
Rude: dipshit storms out and the kids working even gave me his
fucking food

[Kradical] NANOG = North American Network Operators Group
[Kradical] an organization of ISPs and NSPs (ISPs of ISPs)
that is highly influential on how the internet operates
[Kara] :o
[Kara] I thought the internet ran on 4chan and porn.