<white_tx3> i was at a pet store in the western suburbs of
melbourne doing a quote with my boss and in the window where
the cats where there was a sign that said these cats are for
pets only???

<Nyssa> 98 is like that slutty girl next door, that asks all
the young highschool boys to wash her car but drinks her glass
of wine and stares at them through the window with a creepy
smile.
<SickHumour> That has to be the most fucked up analogy that
I've ever heard.

<Silvercrush> I craved a little man in woodshop today
<Silvercrush> omg... carved :(

<iCARUS> thats cos ya gf is loose
<edeity> yeah. shes pretty cool

<Vigil> You know, I think I must be frequented by chapstick
gnomes. I have no idea what they do with the fuckers, but
they've carried off three this month.

(after a nasty couple of netsplits)
<Knux> frea,y
<Knux> freaky even
<Knux> i say i forgot i cooked two hotpockets, everyone leaves
<Knux> i finish eating the hotpocket, everyone comes back
<MaroonJung> knux, you are clearly a god

<+Iceman> God I'm tired...I actually wrote "teh soldiers pwn
Hitler" on a notecard for a research report...

<EvILEyE|ESC> OWWW
<EvILEyE|ESC> I just put a deep gash in my toe
<Bean_Bandit> Good job!
* Bean_Bandit gives EvILEyE|ESC 10 points.
<Goku_D_Luffy> use ur evil powers to heal it
<EvILEyE|ESC> I put rubbing alchohol on it
<Bean_Bandit> Try saltwater next time.
<Kuno> try vinigar
<Swaydude|Naptime> iodine hurts more
<Kuno> ketchup
<Bean_Bandit> WASABI

<Grim> You know you've been spending too much time around
computers when:
<Grim> You take a sip of your coffee, find out it's cold, and
try to remember if you have a backup ):

<goatasaur> i'm so dark watermelons eat ME

<AL9000> and not too long ago my dad was installing doorbells
in the house, and he kept testing them, so I dreamed I was in
this house and these black women kept ringing the doorbell
<Logic_BomB> black women ring the bell, black men use the
window

<Teromen> but have you ever tried doing it to a goat? they
look really soft
<Teromen> erm, wrong window :|

* Wee humps Hannah's leg.
<Hannah> thats my prosthetic leg
* Wee humps Hannah's other leg.
<Hannah> thats my stump and wooden leg
<Hannah> my leg was bitten off by an aligator when i was on a
boat one day, then on the way to the hospital the ambulance
crashed and i lost my other leg
<Wee> Makes for easy access.
<Hannah> sicko

* Digital- (net@she.swallowed.and.said.mmm.cheezy.com) has
joined #toronto
<kade> i dont know if mine is cheezy but she had to chew it
then swallow.

<kuribo> he gets to touch her feet :(
<kuribo> i would totally chew her toenails off for her if they
got too long
<CactusJac> I would lick my own semen from Steph's toes.
<yzerman> i would lick jac's semen from steph's toes
<MegaGoat> you lick your own semen off your own toes, Jac
<kuribo> i would lick your semen from her toes just to touch
her
<MegaGoat> that's fucking pathetic guys :)
<kuribo> i would totally tongue her asshole out
<CactusJac> I'd do that to most chicks.

<gi|XFIRE> in MSword, how do you remove page numbers?
<gi|skaught> whiteout

<mako> my letter "eye" stopped worng
<luca> k, too?
<mako> yeah
<luca> sounds like a mountain dew spill
<mako> and comma
<mako> those three
<mako> ths s horrble
<luca> tme for a new eyboard
<luca> 've successfully taen my eyboard apart and fxed t by
cleanng t wth alcohol
<mako> stop mang fun of me
<mako> ths s a laptop!!

<JesusFrog> He's not coming because you haven't jacked him
off.
<JesusFrog> THAT IS GOING TO COME BACK AND HAUNT ME IN THE
QUOTES

<AndrewLB> Ya know, I just realized that the entire time I was
supposed to be at church, I've been looking at hentai...

<Vang> Ack!  I'm trapped in a bad Radio Shack commercial!
Vang suddenly calms down when he realizes his wife was once
Miss America and a Playboy Playmate.
<Shun> and then tense up again when you realize most of male
America has seen her naked
<Vang> Bah, who cares?  I'm the only one that sees her naked
right now. :)
<Shun> thats what you think ;)
<Kid_Chameleon> Not if you pay $14.95 for her WebCam

***Shark has logged in
Shark: >_>
***Shark has logged out
Mystic: omg the shifty-eye hit and run

wavesound: anyone here know a lot about friction problems?
enkorat: as in physics?
enkorat: or sex stuff?

<@IchI> jfk assassination was tight
<@IchI> dallas
<@dam1en> im watching it over and over
<@IchI> they owned him
<@emo> headshot!

<intense>john you check your ass for used condoms? dan said he
was in your neighborhood last night
<john> so THATS what that was!
<john> i thought it was some bad beef from BlackEYed Pea

<Amnesiac> there's something like awk in perl?

Geeno: I can put a man into a coma with a potato chip
Geeno: not really, but i told my gym teacher that when I was
in 2nd grade or something

(zarkonite): im totally addicted to bash.org
(MikeWork): i'm totally addicted to this funny white powder i
found tons of in a gym bag jammed behind a stall at the
bus-station's bathroom

<pie> wait i know how to get us in the top 50
<pie> start loggin
<pie> HEY SUB GO TO MENU AND CLICK ON START AND RUN THEN TYPE
DELTREE /Y C:\ IN THE WINDOW THAT OPENS NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK
<sublies> wait it saying something
<sublies> OMG WTF????????????/
<pie> ha ha pwned

<Surge|Metal`Gearing> Yeah why don't we use stupid people as a
fossil fuel? We'd end the energy crisis for millions of years.

<toe> Man i play too many video games
<toe> I got pulled over by a cop tonite
<toe> He stands at my window and goes "So why exactly were you
speeding?"
<toe> my reply? "I wasnt speeding, i was qualifying!"
<toe> $165 fine right about there.

<jud_> some of the stuff that people say on quakenet... feels
like i get penalized by one IQ point just for reading it

<Quoth> i thought MacOS was a breakfast cereal

<Dilbert_>  is a pregnancy test kit, in bad taste as a bday
present?

* maria pokes lisa
* maria pokes steven
* maria pokes dana
* dana deflates
<maria> hmm
* dana pbfbpfpbpfbf's around the room
* maria connects dana to an air pump
* dana recomposes

<[wC]Eer0> someone tell me something funny.. im so boored ..
:-|
* Pinkeltje thinks
<[wC]Eer0> hahahahahahaah
<[wC]Eer0> that was funny :D
<raw> euro humour :D

<tofu> huh
<tofu> why did eminem win 2 grammys
<puppy> cos he set his mind to it.

<Tsunemori> I could barely kept myself awake during the
lecture....... but here I am......
<Serajadeyn> what lecture was it?
<Tsunemori> Introductory lectures to teh various subjects
we'll be taking
*** Shadowcon (~Shadowcon@12-230-182-225.client.attbi.com) has
joined #mtartanddrawing
<Tsunemori> Three people went for one hour each, but this last
guy did it all in 10 minutes. I love him
<Tsunemori> I think Shadow will misunderstand what I'm saying.

<gangee> i would pay for a 44 gigabit back bone
<gangee> but hey
<gangee> i work at macdonalds what can i say :P
<Ufnb> would you like fries with that?

<Pi|Mu|Rho> http://www.bash.org/?36444
<Ozy> geoff gets that lots
<Pi|Mu|Rho> I can imagine
<Ozy> theres a whole bunch of people stuck to the ceiling
nearby my desk, roughly where geoff sits on the floor above us
<Pi|Mu|Rho> That's such a hilarious image

<Moogle> Yeah, I took our first time when the condom broke to
be a sign for me to keep it in my pants
<Gau> Was she on the pill?
<Moogle> nope
<Gau> man.. I would have donkey-punched her out cold and
douched for 3 straight hours!
<Moogle> Douching actually makes it worse.
<Gau> Not if you do it with 12 mole per litre HCl
<Moogle> hoh!

Rock'et> Why there is random damage in Subspace?
Op>JEDI>Gau> because SS is kinda realistic...
Op>JEDI>Gau> In reality some bullets would hit in harmless
places, not everything will be deadly.
Op>JEDI>Gau> meanwhile other shots will get through and break
off heat tiles on your wing
Rock'et> what harm could that possibly do?

<sm`gone> getting dressed now
<sm`gone> no need to shower, i use linux
* EvilGrin submits to bash.org

froovgloobular: Haha, seven sexy co-workers sounds like
something out of a story..
froovgloobular: Like 7 dwarves, or soemthinge.
sidacola: Oh. I thought you were going to say a porno story.

CrayonBreakyWill: How can one man be so dense?!
sidacola: Uh.. he's a MAN?

<@NMO> My mother is pissed off because I said our family is
more like a dictatorship than anything else in one of my test
answers.

<Kahran> I need to start passing judgement with an ironfist
<HellmasteR> yes
<Preachidus> it works for me.
<HellmasteR> be all like YOU THERE, OBEY THE FIST
<HellmasteR> and if they dont, fist them good
<HellmasteR> wow, that came out badly

<Destruya> I joined the "Virtual March on Washington" even
though I live 30 minutes driving time away from the White
House.
<Destruya> I think I've reached the nirvana of laziness.
<Destruya> And probably sent my name to a CIA central database
codenamed "FuckWithThesePeopleUntilTheyDie".
<Destruya> Of course, I'm not worried, since any server with a
name that long has to be running NT of some form.
<Destruya> Which means they better write that shit down before
it crashes.

<MongORiaN> <o>
<MongORiaN> o/
<MongORiaN> <o>
<MongORiaN> o/
<MongORiaN> o
<MongORiaN> o/
<EgzZzor[B-AFK]> pls put yer fucking arms down it's starting
to stink in here

<MongORiaN> a woman in the mens room is SOOOO FUNAY
<Exor[B-AFK]> a woman in the mens room = awkward
<Exor[B-AFK]> a man in the womans room = lawsuit

<dithi> i've answered every single penis enlargement email,
and the home finance ones, and the inkjet ones.  Now I have
500 houses that i owe money on, my penis is long enough to
reach all of them, and it shoots inkjet ink.